Topic: Let's redesign reality!

[Quantum Burrito]

Okay, here's another absurdist meta-game:

Everyone posts a new rule for the universe, and I collect them in ths post in the list of rules.

At any point someone can try and describe (or draw! drawings are cool!) what this universe is now like. Given the known mindset of most GS forum-goers, this should be interesting!

My rule: On the third tuesday of every month, rain is actually bacon grease

List of rules so far: (last updated: 12:36 12/11/06 (GMT+1))

• On the third tuesday of every month, rain is actually bacon grease (Quantum Burrito)
• All planets and the sun, do in fact, revolve around the earth (Cool AN)
• "space" is filled with H2O rather then vacuüm (p-luke)
• It is indeed possible to travel faster than light. And it is not hard at all (stuckin2004)
• Earth, like all planets and celestial bodies, is in fact flat and two dimensional (PatMan33)
• 2+2=5 (CoolAN)
• Round objects tend to jump once in a while (BioCat)
• Water is replaced by cotton candy (Huckbuck)
• While looking out a North facing window in any building, if a bird flies across your field of view from left to right, it WILL snow (PatMan33)
• Contrary to popular belief god did in fact create mosquitoes first, and every thing that followed was created to kill them. Unfortunately they all failed and god started over at a new job downtown (CoolAN)
• Everything isn't made of atoms, but of very, very, VERY tiny flis(c)hes (Flisch)
• String theory has proven cheese burgers taste better on the third Wednesday of March (Alwayswatching)
• The animal that kills most people every year is not the hippo, as previously thought. It is in fact the hummingbird. Not many people are aware of this, but the hummingbird actually stabs people in the eye, and then drinks their blood. Strangely it only does this with humans, and leaves all other animals alone (Cool AN)
• Nintendo really does  make the best consoles ever (PatMan33)
• DNA is sapient and can observe its environment, adjusting itself so as to improve the offspring of its current host without resorting to tedious natural selection (Krakow Sam)
• God was actually created by a small rock named Bob. He now reigns supreme of all wheat and dairy ontop of a tower of small russian babies in Japan where Luigi and Mario are also creating another universe cause this ones wacked up (Kratok)
• Light travels at .04 meters per second (Leng)
• People do not default to 'Bob' when trying to think of a name for a character in some absurd concept (Krakow Sam)
• America is ruled by the evil dictator Borat (Huckbuck)
• Cells don't die, they go to cell heaven. Where they are killed because there isn't enough room (Cool AN)
• Gravity has charges. The sun is negative and the earth is positive, the moon is negative so it orbits the earth, but is repelled by the sun (Krakow Sam)
• The universal answer is NOT 42 (p-luke)
• "The" is an swear word for [sodomy] in every language except English (VFX Watch)
• Mankind is not destroying itself slowly (Cool AN)
• Everyone in every country have to read Swahili from first grade in elementary school. Swahili is also the only language allowed in newspapers, tv, movies and all other media (Huckbuck)
• Instead of the bible the book that was printed and sold most times is "The Little Engine that could" (BioCat)
• The most intelligent people are on the top, not the people with the guns (p-luke)
• The number of the beast is 1337 (SmileyMan)
• The right button to press is found locked up in the most beautiful place in the entire universe. The exact center, where it is guarded by 3783738732883297382932872383278393.32738119 Clones of God (alwayswatching)
• God divided by two is PatMan33 (Cool AN)
• PatMan33*5 is Daxx (Huckbuck)
• P-Luke is ALWAYS wrong and was killed for not respecting Douglas Adams' wishes that the fan community blew out of proportion (PatMan33)
• Daxx has been more powerful then god for some time now, nobody noticed though (Cool AN)
• Daxx is wrong exactly three and a half times a day, The rest of us are ALWAYS wrong (PatMan33)
• PatMan33*5 is Daxx, but Krakov Sam*5 is not PatMan33 (Cool AN)
• Money is not the root of all evil, Care Bears are (God)
• God = Mr. Wizard but Mr. Wizard does not = Daxx (PatMan33)
• Counting goes as follows: 0, 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 19, etc. (Tylui)
• Every tim&h&wo l&ters "E" and "T" appear next to each other in succession(wh&her or not there's a space b&ween), they must be replaced with an ampersand (Tylui)
• Friday is National Not Go To Work Day (PatMan33)
• Patman's queen fly is no longer bound to his avatar space (stuckin2004)
• Fre&ime for everyone and everything is also free and people don't fight about it for some reason (PatMan33)
• There is a spoon (Cool AN)
• Logic is illogical (p-luke)
• Homer J. Simpson isn't overweight (Cool AN)
• Going to school is fun (Huckbuck)
• Darkness isn't the absence of light. Instead it is a type of particl&hat is driven to areas wher&here is no light. When too much darkness particles gathers in a certain place a black hole emerges, therefore people never lock their basement for mor&hen a few years. Places without darkness or light are bright pink, of course no human has ever seen on&hose and this is just a theory. (BioCat)
• Clouds consists of popcorn (Huckbuck)
• School is for teaching and preparing kids for the future (Cool AN)
• If you are looking at a window facing North, and a bird passes by from right to left, it WILL be sunny. If a bird flys toward you, it will rain. If the bird flys away, it will be windy. (Kratok)
• Rain is floating clumps of sugar (Kratok)
• Everything has a taste. Not bad stuff either. Like candies and steak and stuff (Kratok)
• We actually have 6 fingers (Erinas)
• The grim reaper actually doesn't harvest souls, he harvests beans. The killing thing is just a hobby (Cool AN)
• Chuck Norris did not creat&he universe (p-luke)
• George W. Bush did (Huckbuck)
• Pepsi and Coca Cola ar&he sam&hing (Cool AN)
• which is an oil company (p-luke)
• Oil is the most popular drinkable liquid (Huckbuck)
• Heroin is used to make little kids calm down (Great Distance)
• The Sixaxis controller on the PS3 is really as bad and unoriginal as it looks (PatMan33)
• Great Distance is the root of all evil and usually refered to as the devil (Huckbuck)
• And that is because she is Woman (PatMan33)
• Its against the law to spell "woman" with a capital l&ter as long as it isnt the first word in a sentence (Huckbuck)
• Huckbuck is now a flying giraffe and nobody can turn me into anything (PatMan33)
• Flying giraffe's is considered to be one of the coolest thing alive, along with Martin Luther King (yes he's alive, and he has released a new rap album) (Huckbuck)
• Martin Luther King Snr. invented the popcorn machine (PatMan33)
• Science is considered to b&he principle understanding of magic, not physics (Eligecos)
• The Earth is now called Steve(Eligecos)
• Dinosaurs did not die but are infact secr&ly manipulating human soci&y so that they may rul&he Steve again (Eligecos)
• The ratio of the circumferenc&o the diam&er of a circle equals 3 (Slartibartfast)
• When a woman says all she wants is a nice guy with a good sense of humor, she means it (Slartibartfast)
• Women are not a dangerous forc&o be reckoned with (Cool AN)
• All of Shakespeare’s novels were written by thousands of monkeys with typing machines (BioCat)
• Gravity affects everything but apples (BioCat)
• Evolution is true in this universe, but it runs backwards. The "big bang" was really the result of mankind blowing themselves up (Robot VCR Mannel)
• There are no tripl&s, just mor&wins (Robot VCR Mannel)
• The Steve has 2 twins that are exactly the same as this Steve, but are in different time periods (Robot VCR Mannel)
• Steve is a girl (Robot VCR Mannel)
• In the center of Steve, it is not a big ball of fire, but a baby (Robot VCR Mannel)
• Hammer Space is real, however the only thing that is in Hammer Space are burning sheep (Robot VCR Mannel)
• Hammer time is also real, it is a time in which all matter turns into hammers, but no one remembers it because it lasts 2 seconds. (Robot VCR Mannel)
• 7 who 8 9 is banned from suggesting new laws because he cant us&he english language properly (Krakow Sam)
• Chocolate milk comes from brown cows (LadyM)
• The color blue is a very dangerous color that will make anything under five fe& tall explode. Including ants (Kratok)
• Red makes people feel pleasure and calm (Cool AN)
• George W. Bush is smart (Huckbuck)
• Huck+buck=The sum of the universe (Cool AN)
• Huck-buck=The recipe for choclate milk (Huckbuck)
• Alexander the Great's Horse's name was "Pr&ty Pony the Mighty" (BioCat)
• Elvis was the commander of an intergalactic rebellion against the evil that lurks in a tiny snailshell somewhere in the pacific. However, he died because a stingray pierced his heart (p-luke)
• Heavy M&al isn't the work of the devil, rather it is the work of god. For god is a total m&al head (Cool AN)
• Zeus was actually a gardener from France (Cool AN)
• Cool An's avatar is not hurtful to look at (p-luke)
• p-luke is much better looking then I am (Cool AN)
• Steam tends to come out off of people's ears when they get really upset (BioCat)
• Blood is really candy (Grazony)
• Poland won WWII, WWIII, WWIV and WWV (stuckin2004)
• The "Force" of Star Wars is actually a feasible reality (Met)
• Weapons of Mass Destruction do not excist, because Einstein was killed by the Terminator (p-luke)
• Einstein was actually two steins (Cool AN)
• Will Wright's mother is a virgin (BioCat)
• Day time TV does not make your brain melt (Cool AN)
• The most popular religion includes cannibalism and human sacrifices (Great Distance)
• The American religious right tolerates, nay encourages, massive sexual deviancy (Krakow Sam)
• What happens on earth, happens in the entire universe (Cool AN)
• Fast food is very healthy, and Mc Donald's Happy Meal boxes grows on trees in south america were they are harvested by native americans who sell them all over the world (Huckbuck)
• Programming is really glorified typing (stuckin2004)
• Quantum Burrito bit off more than he could chew when he made this topic (PatMan33)
• Met and Huckbuck are the only ones who have made posts that are NOT a new law. They are now losers that we spit on (PatMan33)
• Ronald McDonald is a cruel dictator that rules the small country Lichtenstein in its fight against what ever they dont like (Huckbuck)
• Every one in this theard is perfectly sane (Cool AN)

[Cool AN]

• All planets and the sun, do in fact, revolve around the earth.

[p-luke]

• "space" is filled with H2O rather then vacuüm.
  

[stuck]

It is indeed possible to travel faster than light. And it is not hard at all.

(Take that Einstein!!)

[PatMan33]

You have all heard of the Pinta, the Niña, and the Santa María. But did you know there was a fourth ship? Yes there was in fact a fourth ship, however it fell off the edge.

Earth, like all planets and celestial bodies, is in fact flat and two dimensional!

[Cool AN]

2+2=5

[BioCat]

Round objects tend to jump once in a while.

[Huckbuck]

Water is replaced by cotton candy. 

[PatMan33]

Oh hey, I almost forgot. I have tried this out in school (I really have) and it seems to work.

While looking out a North facing window in any building, if a bird flies across your field of view from left to right, it WILL snow.

[Cool AN]

Contrary to popular belief god did in fact create mosquitoes first, and every thing that followed was created to kill them. Unfortunately they all failed and god started over at a new job downtown.

[Flisch]

Everything isn't made of atoms, but of very, very, VERY tiny flis(c)hes.^^

[emmet]

String theory has proven cheese burgers taste better on the third Wednesday of March. 

[Cool AN]

The animal that kills most people every year is not the hippo, as previously thought. It is in fact the hummingbird. Not many people are aware of this, but the hummingbird actually stabs people in the eye, and then drinks their blood. Strangely it only does this with humans, and leaves all other animals alone.

[PatMan33]

Nintendo really does  make the best consoles ever!

HAH!

[Krakow Sam]

DNA is sapient and can observe its environment, adjusting itself so as to improve the offspring of its current host without resorting to tedious natural selection.