Author Topic: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!  (Read 101521 times)

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Offline Fink

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The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« on: July 21, 2006, 06:23:24 pm »
Just some quotes that you may find humorous. Feel free to add your own, or comment


Question: If you could live forever, would you and Why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
Mariah Carey

   
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.



"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"     
--Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.



"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.


"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.



"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.


"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, Vice President


"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle


"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca



"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.


"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.


"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President


"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery



"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina



"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed, and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
« Last Edit: July 21, 2006, 06:37:02 pm by Fink »



TheNecromonicon

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2006, 06:35:55 pm »
"Buuuuuuuuuudy."
- Paulie Shore

"Munchai Munchai!"
- also Paulie Shore

werechicken

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2006, 06:47:35 pm »
I thought that if we don't suceed we run the ris of failure was a bushism?
Anyways...

One the great things about books is that sometimes there are some really good pictures
George W.Bush

Offline PatMan33

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2006, 06:49:56 pm »
You get my log off sound.

"I hear theres rumors on the.... internets!"
~George W. Bush


By the way, a big thanks to 762 for ruining the topic!
« Last Edit: July 21, 2006, 07:38:09 pm by PatMan33 »

Offline 762

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2006, 06:51:26 pm »

Spore countdowns: USA Europe

Offline Brutus

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2006, 01:25:57 am »
"i think war is a dangerous place,"
                                            - George W.Bush


"What are you crouching down for? They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist"
                                                                                                              - General John Sedgwick

its pretty obvious why he didn't finish

"I think—tide turning—see, as I remember—I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of—it's easy to see a tide turn—did I say those words?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                 - George W.Bush

"Get Hezbollah to stop doing this ****,"
                                                    -George W.Bush
« Last Edit: July 22, 2006, 01:38:50 am by Brutus_ »
Never mind your own business.

Offline SmileyMan

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2006, 10:02:34 am »
"Internet is serious business"

George W. Bush

Offline HanianKnight

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2006, 10:15:56 am »
"Iraq is a threat to national security"

- George W Bush

sorry the angry liberal in me had to say it ;D
By the time you finish reading this signature, I've gotten into your house, stolen your t.v., and re-decorated the place so that it fits with your hipster lifestyle.

Offline Met

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2008, 01:24:51 pm »
Here's some great Rodney Dangerfield Quotes:


A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!
« Last Edit: March 12, 2008, 07:29:01 am by Met »

Offline Blarg

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2008, 01:38:02 pm »
Can't remember who this was from, some comedian on the Muppet Show.


"I've been ugly all my life. In fact, when I was born my father asked the doctor if I was a boy or a girl. The Doctor just said 'No.'"


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Quantum Burrito

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2008, 03:48:39 pm »
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." - V

"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - Unknown, often erroneously attributed to Benjamin Franklin

"A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -Antoine de Saint-Exup'ery

"Do go away and read a book - they're fascinating, you'll love them." - Richard Dawkins

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious." - Oscar Wilde

A few of my favourites.
Quote from: The Will
In a movie, one can always pull back and condemn the character or the artist ... But in playing a game ... we can be encouraged to examine our own values by seeing how we behave within virtual space.
tl;dr. But with all those shiny symbols and numbers it's probably awsome.

Offline Brandonazz

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #11 on: January 19, 2008, 04:17:32 pm »
-All Civilization IV Technology Quotes-

Glad I got those out of the way.

Believe those who are seeking the truth, doubt those that find it. -Andre Girde

Offline Kaizer

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2008, 04:43:21 pm »
I'm an angel and my name is satan! come with me children to a wonderful land full of gum drops and happiness!


this of course was from a banned childrens tv show...

Offline Met

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2008, 05:14:36 pm »
I'm an angel and my name is satan! come with me children to a wonderful land full of gum drops and happiness!


this of course was from a banned childrens tv show...


I remember seeing a video of that show. That was quite possibly the most disturbing thing I ever watched in my entire life. Anyone got a link to it?

Offline Kaizer

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Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2008, 05:16:05 pm »
merry christmas


<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqi5F5MqqTQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqi5F5MqqTQ</a>