Look, forget all this stupid pirate vs ninja roffle waffle monkey randum crap about who will win because they are 'more awesomer'. The key to who would win is already laid out plainly in the form of a few facts.
1. Saxton Hale derives much of his power from his Australia-shaped mat of chest hair.
2. McNinja specialises in hair related strangeness and superpowers. He is the foremost expert in the treatment of Paul Bunyan syndrome, his father commanded the respect of his ninja guild due to a magnificent moustache he was able to grow, his sidekick Gordito also posesses such a mystical moustache. Additionally when the Doc's mentor Benjamin Franklin began transforming into a headless horseman he craved hair, and consumed it for nourishment.
3. Should the two come to blows, mcNinja would fall back on his stash of permanent hair removal cream to permanently remove Hale's powerful antipodean shag, as well as his moustache (which probably grants him some secondary power).
Once depowered, Hale should be no harder to defeat than a common run of the mill New Zealander.
End of debate.
