Author Topic: Zombie invasion  (Read 9259 times)

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Offline Flamester_

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Zombie invasion
« on: June 06, 2006, 10:14:37 am »
Post what you would do if the world was infested by zombies and post the type of zombie that you would do it to.

Zombie type 1
Very slow and stupid can not open doors or duck crawl and other things you can fit in if you just moan a lot.

Zombie type 2
As fast and strong as a normal human can crawl and run can tell the difrence from humans and zombies.

Zombie type 3
As fast and smart as the human it once was can open doors crawl duck use guns ect anything a normal human can do it can do.


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Offline SmileyMan

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2006, 12:40:04 pm »
I would probably just find the nearest mall, break in, and create a total lockdown inside at shoot everything that gets near the mall. :D

Offline operaghost21

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2006, 12:50:12 pm »
Type 1
Go in my closet in my room, get my crowbar*, pick up my girlfriend, and go zombie-hunting.

Type 2
Get my crowbar, pick up my girlfriend, barricade wal-mart..

Type 3
Get my crowbar, pick up my girlfriend, barricade my house.


*Why is there a crowbar in my closet, you may ask? Two words: zombie invasion.  (except for the fact that I acknowledge that zombies will most likely never exist, that pretty much is why i have a crowbar in my closet. Yes, I have no life.)  :D
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Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2006, 12:52:45 pm »
Type one: Put into play everything video games have taught me and kick undead ass! Theres got to be a baseball bat, crowbar or sawn-off shotgun within a few meters of my starting point.

Type two: Put into play everything Half-life 2 specifically has taught me and seek out the nearest converse-wearing winchester-wielding mad priest.

Type three: Put up token resistance and then become one. They can do everything humans can... so whats the difference?
Sam is basically right, he's just cranky.

Offline Spore2DaMax

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2006, 01:10:44 pm »
1. Look at them - instant death - permanent

2. Look at them - instant death - permanent

3. Look at them - instant death - permanent

 I win
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Offline Flamester_

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2006, 01:30:26 pm »
Type one: Put into play everything video games have taught me and kick undead ass! Theres got to be a baseball bat, crowbar or sawn-off shotgun within a few meters of my starting point.

Type two: Put into play everything Half-life 2 specifically has taught me and seek out the nearest converse-wearing winchester-wielding mad priest.

Type three: Put up token resistance and then become one. They can do everything humans can... so whats the difference?
You lose every thing that makes you you, you go on a never ending hunt for brains and after you eat one you get to be yourself for 10 minutes then you go into a mindless state that hunts brains rinse and repete.
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Offline SmileyMan

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2006, 01:35:20 pm »
Btw. Who ever said that zombies have to be meat eating, and even cannibals? They could be vegeterian hippies.

Offline Damned_Zombie

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2006, 01:45:28 pm »
We, The Alliance of Hellish Things, banished all those kinds of zombies to antarctica. Freeze with your plants, you damn undead hippies!

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2006, 01:57:27 pm »
Type one: Put into play everything video games have taught me and kick undead ass! Theres got to be a baseball bat, crowbar or sawn-off shotgun within a few meters of my starting point.

Type two: Put into play everything Half-life 2 specifically has taught me and seek out the nearest converse-wearing winchester-wielding mad priest.

Type three: Put up token resistance and then become one. They can do everything humans can... so whats the difference?
You lose every thing that makes you you, you go on a never ending hunt for brains and after you eat one you get to be yourself for 10 minutes then you go into a mindless state that hunts brains rinse and repete.
Fine... if I encounter type 3 zombies I'll find some old industrial complex and lure them in and then splash them with acid so they die.
Sam is basically right, he's just cranky.

Twiggs

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2006, 02:21:40 pm »
Kill with golf club.

Kill with guns.

Hide in bunker, set off thermonuclear warheads, emerge a year later and play Fallout 3.

« Last Edit: June 06, 2006, 02:52:45 pm by Twiggs »

Offline Yokto

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #10 on: June 06, 2006, 02:40:49 pm »
Type one: I would try to capture one and study it.

Type two:   I would try to capture one and study it.

Type three:   I would try to capture one and study it.

Really i would be so fascinated by the fact that where undead peeps walking around. Who could resists getting to know them better?  Heck if I'm luck i might even build my own army of Zombies and find a way to become immortal!
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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #11 on: June 06, 2006, 02:52:32 pm »
1. Kill it, easy.
2. Get friends together and try to make a plan, or hide.
3. Try to hide or reason with it, i might become one because, as Krakow said, it wouldn't really matter if they are as smart as humans. (but in no moives i ever saw where zombies are smart...)

Offline Yokto

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2006, 03:03:39 pm »
Yeah the third on i would not call a Zombie. Maybe Ghoul or something. Zombie are suppost to be dumb or without free will.
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Offline Flamester_

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2006, 03:18:49 pm »
Then what you say damned is typing because some evil overlord told him to?
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Offline Yokto

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2006, 03:51:51 pm »
Yeah if he really is a Zombie and not a Revenant or something like that.

Zombies are actually considered to exist in some way. Wile technically not Undead their apeare as they where living dead. A Dark Voodoo priest uses Bokor to "Reanimate" the dead person. In reality the priest use a toxic potion that is given to the subject before the Zombie Transformation. This potion then set the person in a deathlike state. After the burial of the subject the priest dig up the subject and reawakens him/her and then use the subject as a slave. Still there are some controvesty behind Zombie Transformation and some do not agree with what i just told you.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2006, 04:43:35 pm by Yokto »
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Offline aname

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #15 on: June 06, 2006, 03:52:31 pm »
what about the fast and strong zombies that are totally stupid?

if that was the case i would
1. i would find a shotgun and go rambo
2. i would find a flamethrower
3. i would use traps and gadgets to kill em off
4. i would hide.
if i do these things i may survive.
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werechicken

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #16 on: June 06, 2006, 04:02:59 pm »
incidentaly what percentage of the population are zombies?

Offline Damned_Zombie

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #17 on: June 06, 2006, 04:40:20 pm »
Most of the teenage population of America. About 23.154598% of the world's population are undead in some form.

werechicken

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #18 on: June 07, 2006, 04:04:30 am »
I think in england it's most of the adult midle-class

Offline Calqhoon

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #19 on: June 07, 2006, 04:54:42 am »
Walking round my local shopping centre (mall) reveals that most of the people in there are zombies. Why else would they just stop walking when there's a load of people trying to get past them.

Offline PHI-1618

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #20 on: June 07, 2006, 06:14:13 am »
what about the fast and strong zombies that are totally stupid?

if that was the case i would
...
2. i would find a flamethrower

Okay. Bad idea. You got mindless things that don't feel pain coming at you from all sides and you want them to be on fire?  :-\

As for my own answers:

1. Get my friends and family, a quick supply of basic weapons (as guns stop being useful after a while, though we'd have some of them too), steal a supply truck and load it with canned foods from Wal-Mart, and go to a bunker powered by windmills that I know of about 20 miles outside of town. [I figure with these sort of zombies, you got time. They're slow and dumb.]

2. Grab my friends and family, head for the airport nearby, and fly around till it's over or till all of mankind has been wiped out. We would land occasionally at airports and refuel, while also stocking up on provisions. [This only works because one of my friends is a pilot and a very good one too.]

3. In this case, I'd have to act fast! Drive to the convenience store, barricade myself in with as many people as possible in the time that we have, sleep with the best looking girl in the place ('cause I figure we're about to die so maybe she'd be more willing), smoke a cigarrette, and then kiss my ass goodbye. Probably end up gassing the place to kill us all gently, to avoid the eventual being eaten thing.

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #21 on: June 07, 2006, 07:04:25 am »
I notice a lot of these plans have a common feature: Wallmart.

Who are the real zombies here?

 ;)
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Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #22 on: June 07, 2006, 07:47:49 am »
We actually have plans for this sort of thing, believe it or not. I'm part of Oxford University's Zombie Defence Initiative (no kidding).

Zombie type 1
Very slow and stupid can not open doors or duck crawl and other things you can fit in if you just moan a lot.

Grab my mates & gf and seal down our college. The thing is well over 600 years old with several foot thick stone walls. All we'd have to do is cover all the windows and keep watch from the roof. Then, we wait. Watch a bit of TV, sit on the net and watch videos on YouTube of people blasting the crap out of zombies. They won't last long against the military.

Zombie type 2
As fast and strong as a normal human can crawl and run can tell the difrence from humans and zombies.

As above, but arm ourselves, ration food and prepare for a long siege. Essentially be incredibly careful and operate the strictest quarantine. Construct bridges to access nearby buildings and slowly clear a barricaded area into the centre of town and the shops therein (which luckily happens to be literally at the end of the street). If things die down, venture out with small parties for food and supplies and contact other groups. Presumably the electricity/net access will be cut, but we'd survive.

Zombie type 3
As fast and smart as the human it once was can open doors crawl duck use guns ect anything a normal human can do it can do.

Make peace with myself and spend my final hours making the philosophical choice of whether to pull the trigger of the gun in my mouth or join the slavering hordes.

Other plans:
Don't go for malls. Everyone will go there. You can't keep quarantine or live in a space with a thousand other people. You'll run out of food and sanitary conditions will be horrible.
Don't use unorthodox weapons, or those you are not trained to handle. Chainsaws and flamethrowers neither work effectively against zombies, nor are safe to use. The odds of you finding a usable katana or similar weapon are near to none. Longer weapons are the way to go (eg. polearms) - projectile weaponry with a lot of stopping power is the most preferable, but remember they often have limited ammunition.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2006, 07:51:25 am by Daxx »

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #23 on: June 07, 2006, 02:36:24 pm »
I notice a lot of these plans have a common feature: Wallmart.

Who are the real zombies here?

 ;)

I live in the Uk so our version of Wal-mart, ASDA, is nowhere near as important but is it true you can buy guns and stuff of that ilk in Wal-mart in America?

Offline /lurk

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #24 on: June 07, 2006, 02:57:43 pm »
Type one: Inform the emergency services. It's their job to deal with zombies, not mine.

Type two: Ditto. Frankly, zombie invasions just aren't as effective as real human invasions. Zombies are about as useful as Daleks* in a lighthouse.

Type three: "Everything humans can do" includes negotiating. So it's quite possible to avoid brain-eating, chainsaw superviolence, or even the regular type of hit-with-stick violence. Humans and zombies can coexist peacefully, without any more pointless killing or re-killing.


*Old school Daleks that can't go up stairs, obviously.
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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #25 on: June 07, 2006, 06:50:51 pm »
We actually have plans for this sort of thing, believe it or not. I'm part of Oxford University's Zombie Defence Initiative (no kidding).

wtf?

Offline Vivec

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #26 on: June 07, 2006, 07:06:42 pm »
Sheesh, haven't you guys read The Zombie Survival Handbook?

First off, all zombies are dumb and slow and can tell the difference between humans and zombies.

Secondly, everyone will be heading for Walmart, so it's safer to stay in your own house.

And third, I have too much time on my hands.
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Offline Flamester_

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #27 on: June 07, 2006, 07:10:44 pm »
That you do vivy that you do...
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Offline Vivec

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #28 on: June 07, 2006, 07:13:12 pm »
That you do vivy that you do...

I'm sure my name is short enough to justify not calling me that.
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Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #29 on: June 08, 2006, 02:40:37 am »
We actually have plans for this sort of thing, believe it or not. I'm part of Oxford University's Zombie Defence Initiative (no kidding).
wtf?

I really wasn't kidding. There's a student group devoted to keeping the university safe from zombie attacks. Also, whilst there are no zombies we spend our time drinking. So far, we've done a lot of drinking and Oxford hasn't once been overrun with zombies.

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #30 on: June 08, 2006, 02:41:42 am »
We actually have plans for this sort of thing, believe it or not. I'm part of Oxford University's Zombie Defence Initiative (no kidding).
wtf?

I really wasn't kidding. There's a student group devoted to keeping the university safe from zombie attacks. Also, whilst there are no zombies we spend our time drinking. So far, we've done a lot of drinking and Oxford hasn't once been overrun with zombies.
Ahhh. The system works. I should institute a similar program when I go to Uni. Aberystwyth needs protecting from zombies after all.
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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #31 on: June 08, 2006, 04:11:02 am »
We actually have plans for this sort of thing, believe it or not. I'm part of Oxford University's Zombie Defence Initiative (no kidding).
wtf?

I really wasn't kidding. There's a student group devoted to keeping the university safe from zombie attacks. Also, whilst there are no zombies we spend our time drinking. So far, we've done a lot of drinking and Oxford hasn't once been overrun with zombies.
UCLan shall also institute this emergency planning system (thank god for loose rules about society formation, we're also making a guerrilla hai-ku society)

Offline PHI-1618

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #32 on: June 08, 2006, 05:11:40 am »
What the hell? All the groups at the university I went to were boring. When'd everything get so interesting and fun? Only group I was part of in college that was worth a grain of salt was a Black Widowerers club, inspired obviously by Asimov's stories. There were seven (sometimes eight) of us that showed up and would spend time going over our writing and other assorted creative endeavors. It was great fun. Otherwise though, clubs were a waste of time in uni.

Offline Calqhoon

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #33 on: June 08, 2006, 05:37:20 am »
I'm an unofficial member of the AleSoc at my GF's uni :)

Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #34 on: June 08, 2006, 06:57:54 am »
I'm also a member of the children's television society. We drink (notice a common theme?) and watch stuff like The Clangers, Sooty, The Wombles and Button Moon etc.

Offline Flamester_

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #35 on: June 08, 2006, 08:17:19 am »
That you do vivy that you do...

I'm sure my name is short enough to justify not calling me that.
Yes it dose but I like vivy better....vivy.
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Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #36 on: June 08, 2006, 12:00:04 pm »
We actually have plans for this sort of thing, believe it or not. I'm part of Oxford University's Zombie Defence Initiative (no kidding).
wtf?

I really wasn't kidding. There's a student group devoted to keeping the university safe from zombie attacks. Also, whilst there are no zombies we spend our time drinking. So far, we've done a lot of drinking and Oxford hasn't once been overrun with zombies.
UCLan shall also institute this emergency planning system (thank god for loose rules about society formation, we're also making a guerrilla hai-ku society)
You go to UCl eh? They turned me down... elitist bastards  :P
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Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #37 on: June 08, 2006, 12:05:07 pm »
What's that old joke about UCL? That it takes two of them to screw in a lightbulb - one to do it and the second to say in a loud voice that he did it just as well as an Oxbridge student.

That said, it takes the entirety of an Oxford college to screw in a lightbulb. Only the guy behind the bar is sober enough.

werechicken

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #38 on: June 08, 2006, 03:41:33 pm »
You guys are ripping on University of Central Lancashire right?
and we are just as good as any oxbridge student...

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #39 on: June 08, 2006, 03:47:19 pm »
Not University College London then?  :P
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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #40 on: June 08, 2006, 03:54:54 pm »
Not University College London then?  :P

No

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #41 on: June 08, 2006, 04:02:06 pm »
Ok. You dont go to an elitist bastardy Uni which turned me down.  ;D
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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #42 on: June 08, 2006, 04:04:48 pm »
Ok. You dont go to an elitist bastardy Uni which turned me down.  ;D
No I go to the fastest growing Uni in the country and everyone is really nice there

Offline Samog

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #43 on: June 08, 2006, 09:06:50 pm »
Oh you silly Brits and your perpetual drunken stupors.
"Fine. Don't believe me. I'm not lying. all your laziness which you mistake for something funney is driving me insane, quit fooling around!  dude this is just wrong, very wrong. reality does not consist of constrained language. go lock this thread malt. I love the payment."4MOD

Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #44 on: June 09, 2006, 02:35:16 am »
Oh, so you don't go to the UCL then. Never mind, I don't know if there is a lightbulb joke for you guys yet.

You should make one up, though.

werechicken

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #45 on: June 09, 2006, 02:42:03 am »
I'm sure they'd involve the fact that while we celebrated our 175th last year, we where only granted uni status something like 5 years ago.

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #46 on: June 09, 2006, 03:01:00 am »
How many MIT students does it take to replace a lightbulb?

One. While he's replacing the lightbulb, however, he's busy designing a replacement for it.
"Fine. Don't believe me. I'm not lying. all your laziness which you mistake for something funney is driving me insane, quit fooling around!  dude this is just wrong, very wrong. reality does not consist of constrained language. go lock this thread malt. I love the payment."4MOD

Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #47 on: June 09, 2006, 03:07:41 am »

werechicken

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #48 on: June 09, 2006, 03:36:46 am »
What!? theres no UCLAN one! However the Leeds one is bang on.

Offline Cobra

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #49 on: June 09, 2006, 03:47:46 am »
On all three accounts I'd go about collecting autographs from dead zombie celebs. Then probably rent shawn of the dead for hilarious survival tips.

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #50 on: June 09, 2006, 05:28:21 am »
http://www.jokefile.co.uk/odds/university.html
Hmmm. Aberystwyth's one is possibly a little dated. Although on of the halls is slowly sliding down a hill  :P
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Offline Djfinny

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #51 on: June 09, 2006, 05:55:36 am »
Quote
Sheesh, haven't you guys read The Zombie Survival Handbook?

He's not kidding.  Someone actually wrote a VERY detailed book on surviving a zombie invasion.  Look it up on Amazon.com, I think it's like $10 bucks.  A friend of mine bought me a copy for me as a gag gift as he knew I enjoyed zombie movies.  It covers the all do's and don't of what to do, wear, weapons, food, travel, combat strategies etc - you name it, this guys touches upon the subject.  A very interesting read.  Heck, I let me friend borrow it after I was done and he really enjoyed it as well.

DJ

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #52 on: June 09, 2006, 05:58:02 am »
Quote
Sheesh, haven't you guys read The Zombie Survival Handbook?

He's not kidding.  Someone actually wrote a VERY detailed book on surviving a zombie invasion.  Look it up on Amazon.com, I think it's like $10 bucks.  A friend of mine bought me a copy for me as a gag gift as he knew I enjoyed zombie movies.  It covers the all do's and don't of what to do, wear, weapons, food, travel, combat strategies etc - you name it, this guys touches upon the subject.  A very interesting read.  Heck, I let me friend borrow it after I was done and he really enjoyed it as well.

DJ
I have a robot uprising survival guide of that vein. Full of useful tidbits.
Sam is basically right, he's just cranky.

Offline Henry

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #53 on: June 10, 2006, 03:21:09 pm »
We actually have plans for this sort of thing, believe it or not. I'm part of Oxford University's Zombie Defence Initiative (no kidding).
wtf?

I really wasn't kidding. There's a student group devoted to keeping the university safe from zombie attacks. Also, whilst there are no zombies we spend our time drinking. So far, we've done a lot of drinking and Oxford hasn't once been overrun with zombies.

Woa woa woa, Oxford, PA? You must live right next to me.

Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #54 on: June 10, 2006, 03:45:30 pm »
What does PA mean?

Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #55 on: June 10, 2006, 04:41:19 pm »
Pennsylvania  :P

So close, but yet so far.

Far indeed. I go to the real Oxford, to the real Oxford University.

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #56 on: June 10, 2006, 05:43:20 pm »
Pennsylvania  :P

So close, but yet so far.

Far indeed. I go to the real Oxford, to the real Oxford University.

What!? You go to Oxford but you're using something that's been invented in the last 100 years... ridiculous!

Offline Yokto

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #57 on: June 10, 2006, 06:01:17 pm »
Pennsylvania  :P

So close, but yet so far.

Far indeed. I go to the real Oxford, to the real Oxford University.

What!? You go to Oxford but you're using something that's been invented in the last 100 years... ridiculous!

I'm sure he is using some old machine base on a blueprint from Charles Babbage that is connected to the Internet via a ancient telegraph.  ;)
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Offline Daxx

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #58 on: June 10, 2006, 06:02:47 pm »
What!? You go to Oxford but you're using something that's been invented in the last 100 years... ridiculous!

Actually, I pay a servant to send you these messages for me.

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: Zombie invasion
« Reply #59 on: June 11, 2006, 02:02:44 am »
What!? You go to Oxford but you're using something that's been invented in the last 100 years... ridiculous!

Actually, I pay a servant to send you these messages for me.
By which of course he means that Daddy pays the servant.
Sam is basically right, he's just cranky.