Wow, man you're a lucky one kid!
You've got it pretty good, sonny.
Back in my day nobody ever drove me through the front lines of the Communicant-Torpal war so I could get to school when it was absolute zero.
We had to swim with our skins peeled off through the Atlantic while being chased by U-boats during WW2 in order to send large ten ton crates full of nuclear weapons to the guys at Europe.
We worked in the Tiberium fields twenty three and a half hours a day for a single drop of irradiated water.
I used to sell my internal organs, which constantly regenerated, just to pay Foreman 371 because we were paid -2K dollars a day. And I always did it without what you youngins call anesthesia.
I was all hungry, and broke and miserable, if I was lucky.
There were about a three hundred of us living in pile of shields, while the Persian Army were waiting outside to kill us all.
All I got for the holidays was a lousy bag of radioactive Uranium pellets.
When it was dinner we had a big chunk of crap for our main course.
If we were really good we'd dessert, which was composed of a large scoop of "blood-spit-phlegm" flavored dirt and a slab of meat taken from our thighs.
Back then, w didn't have any telephone, we didn't even know how to speak.
All we had was a couple of syringes and we used morse code on our skins.
We didn't have no swimming pools when I was a young lad
Our neighbor's drum filled with horses' placentas was the closest thing we had.
Didn't have no dental floss had to use katanas.
Didn't have toys, we just swam on a pond full of very hungry piranhas.
Didn't have no bed, had to sleep inside a moving grinder, inside a volcano, under the Pacific, with the local crabs ripping our skin apart.
Didn't have any running water, we used our eyes to find some in the scorching desert sand.
Overlord would impale us upon a rusty pole every time we blinked.
Then he'd show some mercy to us and he'd make us kill ourselves, kamikaze style.
Then we'd be chopped to pieces by the the Champions of Ra and the neighbors would play dodgeball with our souls.
And let me tell ya, sonny, we were flung towards and buried inside the sun for a thousand years every time we complained.
And all of that was if we were lucky...