Topic: Wholesome-yet-passionate Debate Thread

[Plank of Wood]

A thread for arguing over things that aren't important but we can still get very angry about

Anything can be debated apart from 1) Politics, 2) Religion

First matter: What is appropriate ketchup etiquette? I for one believe ketchup should only ever be used for dipping, it should never be directly applied to food itself. Furthermore, the only appropriate foods to be dipped are fries, or food that can go with fried. Sandwiches are out of the question.

I hope hear your (completely wrong) opinions on the matter.

[PatMan33]

WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU  USING THE OLD DEBATE THREADS?

WE ALREADY HAVE FORUM INFRASTRUCTURE FOR THIS.

Plank is not only wasting precious and limited forum resources, he is doing so on redundant projects. Is Plank the worst user on our forum?

[Putspooza]

No, Plank is the best!
LETS ARGUE ABOUT THAT

[Plank of Wood]

You seem like a "smear ketchup all over his goddamned sandwiches, like an animal" kinda guy, Pat.

[PatMan33]

Admittedly I have major thoughts on condiment use and their ratios. I can talk about this for a while...

So, for finger foods like sides or chicken, but not self-contained entrees like burgers, condiments are almost always a dipper. For foods that require fork/knife or are otherwise self-contained (burger), you can plop the condiment right on it.

This is a secondary issue though. The real, pressing issue is the ratio of condiment to food. This is by far the most important, contentious issue facing us.

[PatMan33]

I wish I could say my response was in response to yours, Plank. But I'm just that much of a dork about condiment ratios that I was already writing it. My girlfriend and I can't have this discussion anymore, so you should probably decide if you want to or not. :U

[Plank of Wood]

For starters, I take umbridge that ketchup is an appropriate condiment for a burger for anyone above 12 years old, but we'll have to agree to disagree on that.

I think a reasonable ratio is a 2oz sauce cup of condiment for every 9 nuggets worth of food.

However, this isn't secondary. Applying condiment to food means you get an uneven layer of sauce over your food that doesn't equal out consistently with every bite. You're constantly getting uneven amounts of it - one bite is going to be completely dry and another will have too much sauce. I can't stand for that.

 

[Krakow Sam]

Why even argue about ketchup when the superior fry dip is mayo?

[PatMan33]

However, this isn't secondary. Applying condiment to food means you get an uneven layer of sauce over your food that doesn't equal out consistently with every bite. You're constantly getting uneven amounts of it - one bite is going to be completely dry and another will have too much sauce. I can't stand for that.

You must come to see me, there is much I can teach you.

The all-important ratio extends to more than just amounts. It also accounts for distribution for exactly the scenarios you've described. And once you've become proficient, you can spread properly and evenly in the same span of time with less mess. Applied to ratio is also the correct packaging to ensure proper-ratio-distribution. Not all bottles and caps are made equal.

You must let me teach you!

[Plank of Wood]

Why even argue about ketchup when the superior fry dip is mayo?

Yuk. This post alone made me change my mind stand on Brexit.

[Krakow Sam]

Pretty close to breaking your own rules for this thread there planky.

[Plank of Wood]

True, but I am the exception that proves the rule.

Also, from discussion with Pat:

plonk: Well I appreciate that
plonk: but the ratio does not concern me as much as the medium of condiment transfer
plonk: or innapropriate matching of condiment
plonk: for example: sour cream used innaproppriately
plonk: however that is a long form discussion

[PatMan33]

He fails to understand that my ratio, from here on out known as The Golden Ratio, takes into account all things. Container is covered, medium through which the condiment moves from container to food is covered, the amount and duration are covered, and even coverage is (you guessed it) covered.

The Golden Ratio is all you will need. Come to me if you'd like to know more.

[Plank of Wood]

PatMan33: perogies are tough
PatMan33: so when I worked at a greek place
PatMan33: let me tell you about perogies
PatMan33: you don't **** with a greek's perogies
PatMan33: they want that **** fried
PatMan33: not boiled
PatMan33: better be stuffed well and have adequate crimping
plonk: look I'm already clenching my fists at that statement



Pat take this seriously or not at all.

[Great Distance]

Yes, what an interesting topic.

I have read that ketchup contains lycopene, which, according to a study, reduces the risk of "prostate cancer up to 34 per cent" if consumed over twice a week as opposed to never.

Ketchup contains more lycopene than tomatoes themselves. Therefore we can conclude that all tomatoes should be replaced by ketchup, and if you want to live forever, most of your diet, should in fact, consist of ketchup. I would suggest about a 4:1 ratio of ketchup to other food.