Topic: Ruler of the Universe

[Slinky]

You are The Ruler of the Universe. You have two children, but their names and genders are undetermined. Underneath you is a vast expanse of many, many things, all of which are nothing. You must create a planet in this emptiness, to brighten it up a bit.

The Rules

(detox was not involved at all)

• One of the siblings will be sent to live on the world and will not return until he or she is ruler of the entire planet.
• The other sibling will try to mess up his/her plans.
• The Ruler of the Universe (you people) is allowed to make a change to the world every three turns, which can be anything at all (much like IT). Basically, this means that on each turn you can make a suggestion to the siblings to do stuff, and after the third one you can change it yourself. If no one makes a suggestion after a while, I'm just gonna double post to get on to the next turn.
• The game restarts when the "ruler" child becomes ruler or the "anti-ruler" child defeats the "ruler".
• ABSOLUTELY NO GORRAMN PONIES!! (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, YUU!)

There is emptiness. What kind of planet will there be? What kind of children do you have?

[PatMan33]

Kind of makes me think of some parts of The Silmarillion.

So I think we all agree that we need a meat planet.

[Slinky]

Using your godly powers you create a gigantic ball out of the finest sirloin steak there is.

[Cyst]

Isn't this the game based of Detoxicated's?

[Raz]

[Slinky]

A) DETOX WAS NOT INVOLVED
and
B) WAY TO RUIN IT BADGER

[Gnoll]

Return after months of absence to find a new thread you're interested in and wonder what the heck happened once you read it.

...on a far more serious note, is it too late to second the meat planet idea?

[PatMan33]

[Krakow Sam]

Isn't this the game based of Detoxicated's?

Carry on Slinky.

[Cyst]

Meatplanet with Chili Seas and a moon made of congealed gravy.

[Slinky]

You carve out seas of delicious chili con carne on the sirloin sphere. You also bring a congealed gravy moon into existence.

[Krakow Sam]

Clouds made of fluffy pork scratchings, salami trees, geysers of hot lard, butter mountains, rolling hills of cocktail weenies, maple-glaze glaciers, deserts of crisp bacon, gammon mesas, deep fajita caverns exposing veins of precious tripe and nuggets of foie gras, spare rib canyons with rivers of smoky BBQ sauce, jagged formations of bone bursting with juicy marrow, hot broth springs, chittlin embankments overlooking lush meadows of pulled pork, sedimentary deposits of chipotle beef burrito filling, steaming swamps of gator gumbo, marshlands of glutinous Irish Stew bobbing with dumplings, sweet springs of chicken korma flowing over creekbeds of ground beef, rare highly radioactive pockets of General Tso's chicken, spam floodplains, barchans of bratwurst, archipelagos of veal, confit duck leg with flageolet ragoût and celeriac mash gulch, oxtail soup oxbow lakes, black pudding drumlins, choritzo knolls, chicken buttes, saucison escarpments and deep oceanic trenches filled with dark, dark, inky dark duck's blood soup. 

[Slinky]

You bring all these things into existence as well. You almost go into cardiac arrest just *thinking* about it.

It occurs to you that you'd better flesh out exactly what your children are once you're done mucking around with this world-creation stuff.

[Yuu]

Your children are a pair of white and dark blue winged giraffes which control the Sun and Moons, respectively. They each inherited a third of your powers, but cannot control them completely yet.

The Sun is a giant mass of glowing worms which sing an endless Latin chorus. The song details everything that you have done since the story began up to the present, before repeating.

The Moons, three of them, are actually giant eyeballs made of various precious gems. Each eyeball is filled with smaller, living eyes which themselves have smaller living eyes crawling over them. Each eye represents one sentient creature on the world below. When a creature is born, an eye is formed with the creature's "true name" (which you personally grant to each sentient being) is etched on its surface. When the creature dies, its eye on the moons closes, forever. Strangely, the moons don't appear to be losing any free space, regardless of how many people die or get born.

ABSOLUTELY NO GORRAMN PONIES!! (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, YUU!)

What about Zebras? 

[PatMan33]

And there was also another child. A troubled child. One that would bring many hardships to the people of the meat world.

His name was Tesla and he was the drawer of maps.

[Krakow Sam]

Your children are a pair of white and dark blue winged giraffes which control the Sun and Moons, respectively. They each inherited a third of your powers, but cannot control them completely yet.

The Sun is a giant mass of glowing worms which sing an endless Latin chorus. The song details everything that you have done since the story began up to the present, before repeating.

The Moons, three of them, are actually giant eyeballs made of various precious gems. Each eyeball is filled with smaller, living eyes which themselves have smaller living eyes crawling over them. Each eye represents one sentient creature on the world below. When a creature is born, an eye is formed with the creature's "true name" (which you personally grant to each sentient being) is etched on its surface. When the creature dies, its eye on the moons closes, forever. Strangely, the moons don't appear to be losing any free space, regardless of how many people die or get born.

Yuu if you're not going to take this seriously I suggest you just sit it out. 

[Cyst]

And we have another kid, which is Meatwad.

[Krakow Sam]

Yes the good child is a little meat man and the bad child is made of vegetables.

[Tesla]

And there was also another child. A troubled child. One that would bring many hardships to the people of the meat world.

His name was Tesla and he was the drawer of maps.

Sigh.

[Brandonazz]

Tesla we're getting gay married now.

EDIT: But you forgot to label Mt Sustenance.

[PatMan33]

Dibs on Chorizo. I love that stuff!

[Tesla]

Oh man, me too. One time I just sat down and ate a whole thing of it. Damn, good stuff.

[PatMan33]

You can have Spanish Chorizo and I'll take Mexican Chorizo.

Together we'll rule the world!

[Krakow Sam]

I had some chicken and chorizo pate from the supermarket earlier in the week. It was great on toast.

[Yuu]

-snip-

Yuu if you're not going to take this seriously I suggest you just sit it out. 

We have a planet made entirely of meat.

Adding an eldritch sun and three metaphysical eyeball moons isn't gonna detract from it much.

[Krakow Sam]

No your thing was weird.

Meat planets have a venerable history, you were just saying weird things for the sake of it.

[Slinky]

I don't even...
Make up your mind, guys.
What are your children?

[Krakow Sam]

Little meat guy is the good child, vegetable man is the bad child.

[Yuu]

No your thing was weird.

Meat planets have a venerable history, you were just saying weird things for the sake of it.

Meh, in the end the OP's the one with the final say.

[PatMan33]

So we've agreed.

Our children will be Marcus the flying tomato, Allison the flank steak, and Tesla the drawer of maps.

[Cyst]

And Meatwad.

[PatMan33]

Oh yeah. Meatwad too.

[Slinky]

Okay, I don't know if you guys read the rules, but it's *two* kids. So I made up your minds for you.

The Good Child
Marcus. Looks like a giraffe, but without skin. Can hover. Has a large vocabulary and a posh English accent.

The Evil Child
Allison. Looks like a giraffe, but a plant life form. Uses the process of photosynthesis to stay alive. Can control the cycles of the sun and moon.


The Sun is a giant mass of glowing worms which sing an endless Latin chorus. The song details everything that you have done since the story began up to the present, before repeating. The dim, bluish light of the Wormsun shines down upon the slowly revolving sphere of sirloin steak, which is called Meatwad.

You create an assistant Demigod named Tesla the Cartographer. He is mischievous and is always trying to do things like make a continent shaped like a dick, etc.

[Tesla, you are now the Cartographer. I grant you the power to mold the shape of the continents and seas to be whatever you wish, but only when I say it's okay, which will be fairly often.]

Because you are a fickle god you throw the congealed gravy moon into the Seas of Chili, thus raising the sea level and creating a new, perfectly round, brown wasteland of a continent.

[Cartographer Tesla, make changes accordingly. You may name the continent whatever you want.]
[Please. There, I'm asking nicely.]

The Moons, three of them, are actually giant eyeballs made of various precious gems. Each eyeball is filled with smaller, living eyes which themselves have smaller living eyes crawling over them. Each eye represents one sentient creature on the world below. When a creature is born, an eye is formed with the creature's "true name" (which you personally grant to each sentient being) is etched on its surface. When the creature dies, its eye on the moons closes, forever. Strangely, the moons don't appear to be losing any free space, regardless of how many people die or get born.

[Guys who aren't Tesla, you can name the Moons.]

The world of Meatwad below is lifeless for now. Where do you plan to put your children, and what kind of beings (and environment) will there be to conquer?

[Krakow Sam]

Mission 1: Destroy the sun.

[Tesla]

[PatMan33]

Yeah if Tesla isn't a child of god then why is he still able to make maps?

I think you need to go back and check your rules, Slinky. Because Tesla is making maps.

[Cyst]

Throw the good child into the sun, and then destroy the two of them.

[Slinky]

Sorry Tesla, you didn't agree to this. You are no longer cartographer. My bad

Pat, good point. Tesla, you are no longer cartographer. My bad

You throw Marcus into the sun, thus destroying Marcus and the Sun. Worms go everywhere.

By default, Allison wins. Congratulations, the game is over. You now smite Allison and demote Tesla to "not the cartographer".

GAYME OHVER

[good game everyone! let's do it again!]

[Quick suggestion: How about we jump back in time to before the children were created and start from there? Because all this power sort of went to my head and it went boom]

[Cyst]