Author Topic: Your Life Is Screwed Up  (Read 8044 times)

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Offline Galactic-Warrior

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #15 on: February 16, 2011, 11:27:31 pm »
Alright, examine the stars positions and see if we're really on planet Earth and what the current date is.

Have the female body examine the cans to see if the cans' contents can be discerned without opening them.

Have the male body first put on the sunglasses, examine the house's perimeter.

Have the hive mind do a double check to make sure if it didn't miss anything and have it examine the two bodies and baby in detail. If they have completely black eyes, theres gotta be something they have.
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Offline Yuu

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2011, 02:39:33 am »
If you can find a knife, use that as a can opener instead.

Offline Tesla

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2011, 07:03:52 am »
Get dressed and visit the neighbours!
No way dude, you're trolling me.

Offline Person21

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2011, 08:13:23 am »
While visiting, keep a look out for single woman of breeding age, and begin attempting to seduce them.

If new bodies created by the breeding of the Entity with Individuals are not part of the Entity, it's bodies may suffer problems caused by the lack of genetic diversity as it grows.
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A wise Surface to Air Missile once said about marrying 9 year olds in Saudi Arabia "Its pretty hard to tell if a 9 year old is going to be hot when she grows up, kids change a lot, usually, seems like a bad system. That cute little nine year old you married could end being a fat, zitty teenager."

Offline Phoenix Down

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2011, 04:56:01 pm »
The eyes are not only black, but they are black in a way that is seemingly physically impossible.

Specifically, they seem to lead into an infinite black space.

You can still see out of them as though they were eyes, though.

Starmaps correlate with those on Earth on the Summer solstice perfectly.

You are on Earth.

It is the Summer solstice.

There is a cupboard below the faucet containing a knife and a post it note covered in lines and symbols you cannot decipher (and a few letters and numbers).

The cans are full of a white substance with a fluffy texture.

Properties are unknown.

Both of your adult bodies are now dressed.

Both of your adult bodies are now at the neighbor's house.

Your male body rings the doorbell.

Your female body turns around so that her eyes remain unseen.

A female individual answers the door.  "Hello?"
A Song I Admire:We'll have tomorrow, trust me it's true.  We'll have tomorrow, we'll get through...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2h8AXm9dqo

A Song I Composed:Soon it will be my time...  http://www.mediafire.com/?c6ahalmxbtu625x

Offline UFO King

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2011, 10:10:16 pm »
Wiggle your fingers and shout "boogie boogie boogie!" Then break into a synchronized song and dance with both bodies.
I came, I saw, I went back to bed.

Offline omegatripod

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2011, 10:33:57 pm »
No, have your male body do a singing telegram, while your female body hides in the bushes or does the finger wiggle boogie with her eyes closed.

Offline Watcher in the Puddle

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2011, 11:01:07 am »
Introduce yourself and hope she lets you in.
In a game like this you cannot win, only lose more slowly

Offline Galactic-Warrior

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2011, 12:02:35 pm »
Have the male body introduce the two to her as the "Peterson" family and that they have just moved into the neighborhood.
In space, no one can hear you scream unless your transmitting it on the right radio frequency.

Weird City: Add a inhabitant!, Add some industry!

Offline Person21

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2011, 12:56:38 pm »
Leave the female body there to socialise.

Assuming STD tests won't make appear unusual (I'll assume only the brain and eyes are any different from a normal human), have the male body pay a visit to the sperm bank.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 03:41:31 pm by Person21 »
Person21 - As enjoyed by Veraal.
A wise Surface to Air Missile once said about marrying 9 year olds in Saudi Arabia "Its pretty hard to tell if a 9 year old is going to be hot when she grows up, kids change a lot, usually, seems like a bad system. That cute little nine year old you married could end being a fat, zitty teenager."

Offline Phoenix Down

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2011, 03:09:36 pm »
All of your genes have a unique property called Superdominance.

This means that all of your children will be genetically indistinguishable from your original specimens (the only difference being which set of sex chromsomes are active, but even then you still have an XX and an XY in every cell), regardless of who the other parent is.

This is visible on human inspection, so no, the sperm bank would not accept your donation.

"Hello, we're the Peterson family.  We're new to the neighborhood."

"Oh!  Welcome!  I hope you find life is really nice here in Denton-are you married?"  She looks at your male body as though with a deeply hormonal hope that you are not.
A Song I Admire:We'll have tomorrow, trust me it's true.  We'll have tomorrow, we'll get through...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2h8AXm9dqo

A Song I Composed:Soon it will be my time...  http://www.mediafire.com/?c6ahalmxbtu625x

Offline Person21

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2011, 03:47:35 pm »
Tell her that you are married. It will appear less strange when the female shows signs of pregnancy that way.

Leave the female body there to socialise.

Have the male body pay a visit to the sperm bank.

Then do that.
Person21 - As enjoyed by Veraal.
A wise Surface to Air Missile once said about marrying 9 year olds in Saudi Arabia "Its pretty hard to tell if a 9 year old is going to be hot when she grows up, kids change a lot, usually, seems like a bad system. That cute little nine year old you married could end being a fat, zitty teenager."

Offline Phoenix Down

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2011, 03:53:07 pm »
so no, the sperm bank would not accept your donation.

Furthermore, "shows signs of pregnancy"?  The baby was just concieved today!  If not for your hivemind nature, the mother would not even be able to tell that she was pregnant!
A Song I Admire:We'll have tomorrow, trust me it's true.  We'll have tomorrow, we'll get through...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2h8AXm9dqo

A Song I Composed:Soon it will be my time...  http://www.mediafire.com/?c6ahalmxbtu625x

Offline Galactic-Warrior

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2011, 03:58:04 pm »
Does the hive mind have the power to control this woman?
In space, no one can hear you scream unless your transmitting it on the right radio frequency.

Weird City: Add a inhabitant!, Add some industry!

Offline Phoenix Down

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Re: Your Life Is Screwed Up
« Reply #29 on: February 18, 2011, 04:09:53 pm »
By "this woman", are you referring to your female body, or to the neighbor?

If the former, then yes.

If the latter, then no.

Why is this even a question?
A Song I Admire:We'll have tomorrow, trust me it's true.  We'll have tomorrow, we'll get through...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2h8AXm9dqo

A Song I Composed:Soon it will be my time...  http://www.mediafire.com/?c6ahalmxbtu625x