Author Topic: Random Comedy Bonanza  (Read 1813 times)

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Offline Grangan

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Random Comedy Bonanza
« on: November 25, 2008, 09:21:05 pm »
Based off a random comment made in Composition:
I Have a Dream by Martian Luther King Jr.
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five K years ago, a great Terran, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Alien slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Alien still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Alien is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the forcefields of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Alien lives on a lonely comet of poverty in the midst of a vast space of material prosperity.  Five thousand years later, the Alien is still languishing in the corners of Terran society and finds himself an exile in his own planet. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

 
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every Terran was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, green men as well as pink men, would be guaranteed the unhumanable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that Earth has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens from Mars are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, Earth has given the Martian people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind Earth of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our planet from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Alien's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Fiftynine sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Alien needed to drop used batteries and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in Earth until the Alien is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Alien community must not lead us to a distrust of all pink people, for many of our pink brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot fly alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Alien is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the skyways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Alien's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "For Pinks Only". We cannot be satisfied as long as an Alien in Mississippi cannot vote and an Alien in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Terran dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men men and women beings are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Venus the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the planet of Uranus, a planet sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the antenna on their head but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down at Plut, with its vicious speciesists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Pluto, little green boys and green girls will be able to join hands with little pink boys and pink girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every black hole shall jave evaporated, every Asteroid Belt shall be made a planet, the gamma rays will be made cleaned, and the dust will be as well, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the Outer Planets with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening volcanoes of Mars!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Europa!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of Pluto!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stones in the belt!

Let freedom ring from Mount Everest of Earth!

Let freedom ring from every bump and every chunk of ice from Uranus. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, green men and pink men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Alien spiritual, "Glokpivu!  Glokpivu! flosh God Almighty, shnep glokpivu!"


Twas Brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the mome raths outgrabe.