Author Topic: MrConsideration, Writing Man.  (Read 5389 times)

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Offline Mr. Consideration

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MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« on: October 03, 2008, 12:38:25 pm »
Hi! This is the thread in which I'll showcase my writing as much as I can, be it prose or poetry. You can all give me feedback and congratulate me on my brilliance, whatever floats your boat. Criticism would be amazing, because all I seem to get is sycophantic praise.

To start things off, and I'll make it clear as justification that I very seldom write poetry (I find it constrictive). However, the first thing I'll upload a poem, because I couldn't choose a written piece I liked enough to represent me. Dear god don't judge me by my poetry!

Well, without further 'don't-judge-me-if-it's-awful-and-I'm-honestly-not-pretentious', here is my first poem....

The Place I Go When I Think About Pelicans

Pity not the Writer Boy;
Soft hair and bright blue eyes, away,
That ink-stained, sink-drained affair,
Keeps him writing to the day.

Pity not the Worker Boy;
Sing the red and raise the black, away,
That round-and-round, underground affair,
Keeps him fighting for the day.

Pity not the Sailor Boy;
Red cheeks and broad shoulders, away,
That choking, soaking affair,
Keeps him grounded to the day.

Pity not the Soldier Boy,
Bound legs and broken dreams, away,
That furious, curious affair;
Keeps him tender to the day.

Pity not the Dancer Boy;
Light legs and cheeky smiles, away,
That prancing, entrancing affair,
Keeps him humble to the day.

Pity not the Cancer Boy,
Who you fled when you ran, away,
That living, giving affair;
Keeps him hoping for the day.

They pity not the Singing Girl;
Deep blue eyes, flowing blonde curls, away,
It’s not better to have loved and lost,
But you can live on the hope of just another day.








"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." - Oscar Wilde

Yes, I am aware of the irony.

Offline Brandonazz

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2008, 01:17:06 pm »
Sycophantic praise.

I'm afraid I don't see the association with the title.

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2008, 02:19:54 pm »
Pity not the Soldier Boy,
Bound legs and broken dreams, away,
That furious, curious affair;
Keeps him tender to the day.

Hey Soldier boy! <random yelling>


Sorry, its the first thing I thought of  :-X
Sam is basically right, he's just cranky.

Offline martyk

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2008, 11:01:30 pm »
Pity not the Soldier Boy,
Bound legs and broken dreams, away,
That furious, curious affair;
Keeps him tender to the day.

Hey Soldier boy! <random yelling>


Sorry, its the first thing I thought of  :-X

Same, here.  Great poem though.  I wish I could write in a delightfully lyrical fashion such as that, but alas, the ability to rhyme is beyond me.
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Offline Mr. Consideration

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2008, 01:19:52 pm »
..and now for something completely different. And really creepy. I have no idea where this idea came from. Don't read if you're of a delicate disposition. Just a short idea that entered my mind....so....um...enjoy...

Bombazine Pork

Mummy, there are troubles here….in this tunnel of the soul. How I rend my little limbs in here; in the rouge and the raging.  Purple on the ultra-sound, I’m your waif, your floating, dreaming, closed-eyes wraith. How I struggle here, and your time is almost near. My eyes tight shut against the drowning, your waters break like an angel prone to weeping, and out there, out there I am creeping. Where once he licked; you lacerate, I’ll tear you in twain for a chance to breathe, bitch. Mummy, there are torments here. In the dark, this sweating pulsating interior agony; swaddled in your screaming, drowning in your dreaming, this perfect little boy-child and he’ll do so well. **** it, I’m sold already.

Cradle me in your capillaries, my vice is in your ventricles; I’ll massage you inside, my potent little tentacles; tendrils of moulding flesh. Languorous, lithe little fingers, eyes closed, blood and blood and blood. This pulsating, pusillanimous prison; how it breathes, how is breathes, how it gives testament to my incarceration. And Daddy you are hu-ur-urting me, when you’re prone to pounding, a drone to silent sounding of that siren song.

Oh, and how your heart is beating, fingers grip the sheeting, bite back those regrets I’m running free and easy. Mummy, you are sc-ar-aring me, when you’re prone to screaming, without meaning, your breath is deep like daddy’s knocking at my threshold…I’ve lived a seedling, now how I’m needling, I am surging, live for the purging, of my body from yours. My odious odalisque, my tatty tart, my bourgeois bawd, my hag and my harlot. Ni Anglei si angeli. I’m coming down, struggle through the soul of the perverse, the inverse, the reverse, of all your little Mills and Boon fantasies. Darling; I am dy-y-ing here, limbs akimbo; lost in limbo; lost to sorrow; to wallow in this purgatory; this veneer of vaginal verisimilitude …

Cry ‘havoc!’ and let loose the dogs of war; the prison eviscerated, snipped and sliced and liberated. Your tiny little Caesar, and the soil of England is already within my grasp, as I fall and I fall and I fall, on your blood stained sheets. I’m drove to screaming. Your bombazine, bouncing brood; lost to despondency.

Coddle me, cuddle me in those arms, Mummy, it’s gonna be a bright new day.

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." - Oscar Wilde

Yes, I am aware of the irony.

Offline Brandonazz

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2008, 01:37:20 pm »
Unconventional.

My only problem is that it took me till the end of the first paragraph to understand the subject, though that is likely my own fault.

Offline Yuu

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2008, 03:21:21 am »
Nice. :)

Great work, Mr.C!

I don't understand the writing's relation with the title, though. What exactly is the title trying to say? ???

Offline Mr. Consideration

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2008, 12:45:34 pm »
Titles, making sense? Are you gentlemen quite mad?


Because, you know, I'm supposed to actually update this, have a really pretentious poem, inspired by me finding out 'American Dream Game' is a euphemism for Erotic Strangulation. It has, like, literary references and mocks art movements. Ergo, it is fantastic.


The American Dream Game


Sometimes I just sit,
Try and hate the wholesome,
They’ll break those little lost souls, some
Those lawyers and soldiers, come,
They’ll ride us little foals, home.

Loser’s life in languor,
Think ‘Look Back in Anger’,
Bathroom Sink Realism,
Vaseline hands and Nytol rhythm,
You know we’ll love again.

The lost make better lovers,
Nothing left but to commit,
Now, I was lost once,
This much, I’ll admit.

Now, in these dreams of Halcyon,
The butcher’s boy, the virgin son,
Lay down their father’s wants,
Hold hands for the waif revolution.

The new administration,
Sits in woodland glades, yeah,
Elegies upon their knees,
The new face of divination.

When it came to hard drinking,
They just lost their bottle.
When it came to hard thinking,
They made a mockery of Aristotle.
Those lords of being left behind;
Those sensitive beautiful little minds,
Long live the waif revolution!

But until then,
We’ll just sit here and play the American Dream Game,
Losing the blood from our minds,
Leaking soul out on our thighs,
The American Dream Game,
Because no-one will take the blame, feel the pain, brave the rain,
The American Dream Game.

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." - Oscar Wilde

Yes, I am aware of the irony.

Offline Brandonazz

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2008, 07:10:00 pm »
Erotic strangulation makes all the problems of society go away.  ;D

Offline Grangan

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2008, 08:13:28 pm »
Oh my god any true follower of moder avante garde art would worship you, you surreal psuedosatirist whimsical artiste.
Twas Brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the mome raths outgrabe.

Offline Mr. Consideration

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2008, 09:01:41 am »
Oh my god any true follower of moder avante garde art would worship you, you surreal psuedosatirist whimsical artiste.

I have a really pretentious poem, inspired by me finding out 'American Dream Game' is a euphemism for Erotic Strangulation. It has, like, literary references and mocks art movements. Ergo, it is fantastic.

You can't mock me after I've been self-deprecating. There must be a law or something.

Also, there is very little surrealism in this poem; and it's not exactly avant-garde. Most of the imagery is pretty obvious...



Something I wrote for an ex-girlfriend which should make you all go 'Awwww'...

Sounds never fade. They just bounce, back and forth, forever. If I were to whisper in your ear, the sound would never go away; it would just dance from cavity to cavity; no mere pawn of god nor gravity. Imagine, that little voice, living, breathing in your ear forever. When a million years have passed a million times... Our sons and daughters may delve into the dust of you and with the greatest microphone hear a million lifetimes away my subdued assertion dancing in you ear drum...

                                                        'You're beautiful and I love you.'


« Last Edit: December 17, 2008, 09:01:11 am by Mr. Consideration »
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." - Oscar Wilde

Yes, I am aware of the irony.

Offline /lurk

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2008, 06:07:51 pm »
I can see why she dumped you.



Awww, only joking.
Not a winner anymore.

Offline Brandonazz

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2008, 06:25:35 pm »
It was because he's a communist.

None of this wishy-washy socialist nonsense! Everyone knows you're either a capitalist, or fascist commie bastard.

That's how it works.

Offline Mr. Consideration

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #13 on: December 18, 2008, 12:26:41 am »
I can see why she dumped you.

It was because he's a communist.

Brandondazz was reasonably close, actually.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." - Oscar Wilde

Yes, I am aware of the irony.

Offline Krakow Sam

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Re: MrConsideration, Writing Man.
« Reply #14 on: December 18, 2008, 03:28:23 am »
Logistical beurocratic problems engendered by Mr C's communistical leanings caused a serious supply and labour problem leading to unsatisfactory performance.

I'm talking DOWNTOWN.
Sam is basically right, he's just cranky.