Plank, if I may give some non-"get a job" advice, please remember that you do matter very much to many many people.
The very fact that you want to be there for the people you care about is indicative of the kind, decent and compassionate person you are. Regardless of what anyone else may tell you, sincerely wanting to help does count for something. Don't hate yourself for circumstances beyond your control. Regardless of your self-image, you are loved both here and elsewhere, as you very much deserve to be.