Author Topic: Personal Problem Discussion Thread  (Read 235084 times)

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Offline eropS

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2250 on: March 19, 2017, 12:38:08 pm »
Coke doesn't kill you, that's crack, or if you're stupid and go too ham, which liquor will do too. It's not heroine....

It does make everything awesome.
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Offline Brandonazz

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2251 on: March 19, 2017, 01:18:39 pm »
Man I really want some Molly and blow now

Not that I'm an expert on this sort of thing, but coke is an unfun, overpriced, overhyped substance with dozens of superior stimulants.

MDMA, on the other hand, is literally The Best Thing.

Fun fact: if you do coke while on MDMA, you stop rolling as the cocaine dislodges the MDMA molecules from the serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine transporter proteins.

It has a higher binding affinity. That's like... they're both magnets that latch to those passageways, but coke is a stronger magnet.

I have this friend who has mocked people at least once for doing such a thing.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2017, 01:22:16 pm by Brandonazz »

Offline Slinky

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2252 on: March 19, 2017, 07:52:51 pm »
I guess just to toss my penny into the fountain here I'm quickly developing a smoking problem. Mostly because it's an alternative to pot which is hard to get for me. Which itself would probably become a problem if I had any.

Though I am not nearly as far in the deep end as any of you are, I can feel myself careening into it. I'm gaining weight like crazy, I have no in-person friends, I've sort of been checked out for the last two years since I've been in a pretty draining relationship. Now I find that I'm depressed with periods of mania and extroversion which are more often than not drug-triggered.

I'm still hanging in there though. I wish I could say that if any of you need to talk about your problems you can come to me but I'm not entirely sure I could handle that. I will say I hope all of you make it through the day to day grind and none of you do anything to hurt yourselves.

This sounds cheesy but I love all of you guys. I grew up with you guys and I really, sincerely don't want anything bad to happen to any of you.

I've been having the same video game related problem. I have no interest in games that aren't either relaxing or think-y so shooty stuff is right out. I could not give less of a **** about videogame culture and the collective of manchildren that gamers are. Videogames are cool but really, really not as cool as I always thought they were. I fill most of my time with social media now which is pointless.

I'm not sure if this is helpful for anyone but forcing yourself not to consume any form of entertainment might actually work to motivate you to do ****. Lately I've been trying to shy away from using social media (though I haven't done a good job of it) and sometimes it bores me into reading or going for a walk. Which sounds very stupid and milennial but really it works.

Offline Inkling

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2253 on: March 19, 2017, 09:11:58 pm »
To sum up a lot of our conversations lately,
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWaXbCsh0po" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWaXbCsh0po</a>

Ditch the cigarettes or whatever as fast as you can.  You're young enough to know how bad that stuff is for you.

Weed seems like about the same category as alcohol just less legal, whatever.  MDMA or whatever other stuff, I'm far too square to know anything useful about that.  But I know tobacco, I've seen how hard it is to quit and I've personally seen the end stages of what it'll do to a person.  Stay the hell away from that.
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Offline Slinky

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2254 on: March 19, 2017, 09:21:01 pm »
I guess I exaggerated - it's like 1 cig a week, 2 tops. Still bad for me though, yeah?

I've heard weed actually has more tar but I'm not sure how true that is.

Offline Rysworld

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2255 on: March 19, 2017, 09:40:00 pm »
I'll echo Slinky's generally beneficent sentiment. I've been here since I was twelve- nearly forty percent of my life. I'd hate to see anybody here harmed- by others, by themselves, or by life.


On topic:

For a while I thought I some sort of psychological marijuana addiction, or some problem in that vein. When I stop smoking pot I get pretty anxious- my chest hurts, the back of my throat hurts, I cannot stop thinking about the negative aspects of my life and the future that seems likely to spring from it.

Then, I realized that was just the normal sober reaction to how much I dislike most parts of my life.

I am the least productive and functional of all my RL friends, who are not exactly pictures of optimal mental health themselves- I love them to death, but it's true.

I do not have a job and am unlikely to get one in the incredibly near future, though there is this apartment managing job that I might be able to take over from my mother, whenever she moves on from it- which will be soonish if not soon, she wants to move to the UK at some point I believe. I might have talked about this before. The idea of going into a job interview leaves my knees knocking and breath short enough that I'm fairly sure I would be unable to conduct one, if I even had the wherewithal to have ever scheduled one. I want a job so bad it makes my teeth hurt. It would solve many of my problems.

I'm also beginning to consider that I might have had, like, Dysthymia or Cyclothymia or something throughout most of middle-and-highschool and it just ****ed all my **** up. I don't really want to specifically self-diagnose, but I'm pretty sure something was wrong with me. My mother suffers from Depression and Anxiety and my dad has Bipolar Disorder, so there's at least a suggestive genetic link to mood disorders I could draw. Ultimately, though, it's unsure.

School is school. It's always been school. College is like highschool, only now I get a little choice over the classes I inevitable fail because of my godawful study habits and endless supply of procrastination. I don't like school that much- it's incredibly grating on my self-esteem. It's a part of my deal with my mom that I can only live with her without working if I'm going to school, though, so that's that.

I don't ever do anything. I sit at my computer and read and watch the occasional video, with a rare break to write or draw as my inspiration waxes. Doing nothing, over a long period of time, is one of the most soul-crushing experiences I've ever had the misfortune of going through. There is little I would not do to end this state. Occasionally this is broken up by hanging out with my friends, which is nice.

I have given up not only on my dreams, but on having dreams at all. I have been stripped of all of my ambitions but securing enough of an income that I can do nothing until I die. This somehow seems like an unhealthy mindset for a twenty-year-old.

The idea of being in a romantic relationship seems strange and frightening. The realm of romance is an entirely different social magisterium and set of rules than that of normal interaction, which I already struggle with, and I find it more or less completely impenetrable. Sex without romance is far too much effort for how much pleasure it offers above the baseline. I've considered paying someone someday, if I give enough of a crap and have enough money, but that situation seems too awkward to me. Also, occasionally my sexuality decides to focus on a specific gender without my input, which seems like it could be awkward if it happened in the middle of a relationship.

Sometimes I just sit and think about my life too much and begin to get sad and mopey and listless. I don't generally cry about it- at least, I haven't in some years- but I'm a lot closer to it than usual. Reviewing my life is a horrifically unpleasant experience.

There have been periods of my life where I fantasized about running away and being homeless, so that my family didn't have to deal with me. It would be so incredibly nice to not be a mooch, to not depend on my mother for everything. I hate this situation so much it is legitimately difficult to find the correct collection of words in the English language to describe my emotions- I must use comparatives. Have you ever seen someone harm a family member of yours? Your brother, your niece, your mother maybe? If you have, that's about the level of sheer loathing that I'm talking about here. It tightens my eyes and my teeth, and it makes my gut churn.

There are very few parts of my life I like, save my family and my friends. Perhaps making things- mentally putting things together, like you do when you code, or draw, or write, is a pleasing distraction. I rarely have the motivation to do any of that, though.


...still better than when I was in highschool though.


This post was going to be shorter when I began writing it. I guess I'm not particularly looking for advice- waiting for my mother's job to pass to me is bearable and workable. Just venting about how screwed up I am in the head, which seemed to have worked- it was a Pretty Bad Night for me before I wrote this, and now I don't feel any tightness in my chest at all, even though I haven't smoked in a few hours. That makes it a Pretty Good Night for me.

The mental health picture painted here is pretty bleak, but I'd like to mention quickly that these are like ALL the bad parts of my life from the past six months to a year or so- those aforementioned family and friends are a great help to me. I'm powering through even all of this. Things just get to me sometimes.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2017, 09:41:42 pm by Rysworld »

Offline eropS

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2256 on: March 19, 2017, 10:31:58 pm »
God damn we ****ed up raising these kids


I believe in all of you, for the record. I also believe there are ways to navigate the system.

Y'all need trade skills, straight up. So young and directionless but you're all competent and able to think critically. Seriously ****ing do something about your lot and get an obtainable skill that translates into at minimum purpose since you'll know a skill. You can do it, don't settle, don't dwell. I've hit my fair share of low points and vented then on this forum too, at around y'alls age, too. The fact you're introspective enough to recognize your feelings and maybe even understand why you feel them to me shows you want more.

Doing something is better than sitting at home letting your lonely thoughts consume you, I've had plenty of time to do that through college as I went through it with few good friends who were available regularly.

Idk. I don't want to be the guy that sounds incondierste to your mental states, but I feel like you guys are in this cloud caused primarily by a lack of fulfillment and I truly believe finding a trade will help you. Look into them, they're interesting and they're always in demand, and you won't be a mooch anymore when suddenly everyone is hitting you up for home renovations cause suddenly your know important info most don't
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Offline PatMan33

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2257 on: March 19, 2017, 10:38:38 pm »
Meh... if I can get the government to give me money, I wouldn't mind that either. Whatever.

*am about 50/50 on trying or not trying

Also Slinky stop smoking now while it is easy. One or two sticks a week is nothing. Quit now before it is one or two an hour.


But yeah, trade school was my plan. But the powers that be said: "you have to go to college so you can get a real job." (real quote, word for word) I wasn't allowed to go to trade school. You know, because I'm smart or whatever. I want to go now, but my money is gone and I have no earning power and banks don't really want to give me loans.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2017, 10:47:32 pm by PatMan33 »

Offline Great Distance

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2258 on: March 20, 2017, 01:54:17 am »
Yeah, smoking's bad... My dad died of lung failure and I'm pretty sure he would still be with us if it weren't for smoking. There were other contributing factors but still. It was at least half of the problem.

And yes, there is a lot of pressure from all sides. Most of the time it feels like we aren't making these decisions for ourselves. But because of parents, societal pressures, the government... Doesn't really feel like a world of freedom.

Offline PatMan33

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2259 on: March 20, 2017, 05:15:12 am »
Every day I've woken up the last six days, my neck has hurt more and more. Today I can barely move. And the goddam retard kid was screaming at the bus stop again (first warm enough day).

Offline Slinky

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2260 on: March 20, 2017, 06:13:38 am »
I hope your neck feels better Pat. I'm not sure how you feel about alternative medicine but my mom used to take some anti-inflammatory root supplement that really helped her with that kind of thing. I can ask her what it was if you want.

I'm in a technical college currently which I guess is similar to a trade school? I'd certainly recommend it, it's very career-oriented and skill focused. But I'm going for graphic design so who knows how useful that **** will be and while I can still pull solid Bs I'm not sure how much I'm really learning cause I suck at putting a lot of effort into things. Which is my own fault so I'm not bitching.

Ry I know what you mean about sex without romance. Sleeping around really just does not interest me that much - my self esteem is too low and stress is too high for me to probably be all that great in bed anyway and the only really good sex memories I've had were with those that I had actual feelings for. So basically I could probably just go **** someone if I actually put in the time and effort to do that but it seems uninteresting. I'd rather date someone in a nice, normal way - I think society puts too much importance on sex as being equal to intimacy and I guess it's sort of a rude awakening when you get a little older and you're like "oh yeah that's dumb". I'd love to find a romantic relationship but I don't really know anyone I'm genuinely interested in and it hasn't been that long since my last one anyway. It would be nice to find someone that I can relate to though. I'm not a pessimist or super anti-social so I think most people are pretty cool and good people but that doesn't mean I have things to talk about with them and it doesn't mean they're going to think the same about me!

So basically I don't want to have sex, I don't want to play videogames, the only thing that interests me in barely trying to do well in school - I'm like the worst teenage boy ever.

Offline PatMan33

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2261 on: March 20, 2017, 06:45:25 am »
I hit up my dealer to see if he has anything good for severe pain. This **** was getting better after a whole week of pain and now today it is worse than it was a week ago. I can't even burp without registering a 7 or 8 on the pain scale. All I did was sleep goddammit.

Hope I don't get addicted to prescription painkillers! LOL

Offline Gungnir

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2262 on: March 20, 2017, 06:55:00 am »
But I know tobacco, I've seen how hard it is to quit and I've personally seen the end stages of what it'll do to a person.  Stay the hell away from that.

Can confirm. I spent two summers working in an office that did clinical trials on treatments for COPD in smokers. It is not pretty. Even if it's not cancer, the shortness of breath itself can be debilitating. The only people who benefit from cigarettes are tobacco companies and drug companies. And pulmonologists, I suppose.

Offline PatMan33

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2263 on: March 20, 2017, 07:03:33 am »
I don't smoke, but I've been around second-hand smoke nearly every day of my entire life.

It'll be me that gets something bad, not the actual smokers. :P

Offline Oviraptor

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Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« Reply #2264 on: March 20, 2017, 08:04:00 am »
Really, man, stay away from opioids, they're bad news. My grandmother was addicted to them and she basically destroyed her relationship with her family. And depending on what type of pain it is, marijuana can actually be an effective pain-killer: http://discovermagazine.com/2015/oct/15-the-woman-with-knives