Author Topic: [NG] The Raessi  (Read 2753 times)

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Offline Andrew Ryan

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[NG] The Raessi
« on: April 11, 2008, 09:16:47 pm »
(Ok, this is my first ever Spore creation so please go easy on it. If you have any constructive criticism of my creature or writing style or anything, it would be appreciated. It's still a work in progress so I'll update it now and then.)

 
The Raessi


Name: Raessi

Biologic class: Reptile

Planet type: Water world, with high mountains and plateaus scattered around the planet.

Government: Feudalism

Technological level: Space age

Male/Female ratio: 3/1

Average lifespan: 100-140 years

Length of Year: 240 Earth days

Length of Day: 50 Earth hours

Description: The average Raessis physical body would probably be summed up by one word, “abomination”. Malformed limbs stick out of the main legs. Small lessons cover the leathery skin, festering and rotting. Several digits are often missing from the small, claw like hands. There bodies are often lope sided and asymmetrical. If you were to gaze upon such beasts, they would appear to be quite the monster. That is if you didn't know about their very sad history.

(More to come)


A Brief History:

   The Raessi as a species first appeared in the fossil record of the planet Ra approximately 4.7 million years ago, during a period of violent geologic activity. Vast fault lines buckled and strained just beneath the surface of the planet, creating high plateau's and jagged mountains as well as low rift valleys and deep undersea trenches. It is on the high cliffs of the R’huo plateau, jutting thousands of feet above the surface of the ocean, that the Raessi species first took root. Originally a species of cliff dwelling reptiles, the Raessi ancestors spent most of their time in herds of thirty or more, tightly gripping the cliff faces on which they lived. Their main prey was the stromatolites that grew out of the cliff rock, which they leisurely grazed with their specialized mouths. Over the course of millions of years, the Raessis ancestors changed little until one herd found a cave system in the cliff side. This herd found the cave to be large enough to live in, so eventually it migrated inside. Feeling ground for the first time, the herd had a hard time adapting to having something beneath them. Over time however, the herd learned to walk on the solid earth and quickly evolved into the Raessi known today. It is at this time, this cross road of evolution, that this herd of Raessi began to show some rudimentary signs of higher intelligence.

   So it was, approximately 30,000 years ago inside P’pol’dew’al’traca cave system on the R’huo plateau in the southern hemisphere, a herd of Raessi began making and using primitive tools. They were simple at first, a stone axe, a grinding stone, a flint knife, all very crude in their construction. However it was a huge step for the Raessi. They had proved to the world that they were no longer an animal, content to graze on stromatolites all day long. They had proven they were self aware. This group of Raessi was no longer a herd, but a tribe. Within the cross of 2,000 years, this tribe (now calling themselves the Y’uilro) grew in both size and wisdom, gaining such technological insights as how to make fire, how to mine copper from the earth, and how to create tools out of the copper they mined. Within 500 years of entering, the tribe had completely taken up the entire cave system from front to back. This proved a huge problem for the tribe as without more cave space, the tribe would quickly begin to overpopulate the caverns, weakening the tribe substantially. Several village elders debated this issue hotly. Some said they should simply carve out more rock and expand the cave, another said they should take a section of the population and find another cave. One radical elder even suggested they should kill a select portion of the population, freeing up room for the next generation (this elder, of course, was promptly expelled from the elders council and exiled from the cave). Eventually it was agreed upon by the elders that abut 600 Raessi of the 2000 Raessi population would pack up their valuables and leave the cave. So it was, the following day, a group of 600 Raessi reluctantly left the safety of P’pol’dew’al’traca and began their long trek for a new home. (To be continued...)

 


"Don't worry 'bout me. I wouldn't worry about me. Don't you worry about me. Don't you worry 'bout me!" - Talking Heads, Don't Worry About the Government

Offline blitzonator

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Re: [NG] The Raessi
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2008, 02:49:58 am »
Nice! It's not common to see an asymmetrical creature.

Offline Flisch

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Re: [NG] The Raessi
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2008, 05:08:40 am »
No zombie creatures; if they were exposed to radiation or a disease for a long time, then they would have surely developed an immunity by now, or they have been gone extinct.

Also this asymmetry doesn't make much sense. Creatures are often built symmetrical to treat both sides equally instead of preferring one side. Give an explanation of their asymmetry (fiddler crabs for example are asymmetric because of their mating behaviour) or make them symmetrical.
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Offline Kcronos

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Re: [NG] The Raessi
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2008, 05:26:54 am »
Hah hah hah!


Immunity to radiation?!  And how do you propose to do that?

Gamma rays attack the very atoms!  You'd have to grow huge lead plates, and maintain them too!
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Offline Flisch

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Re: [NG] The Raessi
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2008, 05:36:13 am »
There is, of course, a difference between having a laugh with someone, and having a laugh at their expense

Offline Kcronos

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Re: [NG] The Raessi
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2008, 05:37:59 am »
Well, I suppose a back-up rapid DNA replacing system would work just as well...


You sir, have source-pwned me.
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Offline Andrew Ryan

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Re: [NG] The Raessi
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2008, 01:38:25 pm »
Ok, due to the fact that my first creature sucks (yes, I'm admitting that), I'll be completely overhauling my creature from the ground up. New body, new planet, new everything except the name. I've already got something in the works that I guarantee will be better than the creature I got now.

Well, hopefully

Anyway, thanks alot for your criticism and I hope that my next creature will be more... presentable.
"Don't worry 'bout me. I wouldn't worry about me. Don't you worry about me. Don't you worry 'bout me!" - Talking Heads, Don't Worry About the Government

Offline Yuu

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Re: [NG] The Raessi
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2008, 03:54:18 am »
I'm all for it! Good luck, Andrew! :)