Author Topic: How would you kill the poster above you?  (Read 109016 times)

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Offline ARCosta

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #390 on: June 03, 2008, 02:29:40 am »
I would kill you softly with a pillow.
Green grin

Offline Neoskel

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #391 on: June 03, 2008, 02:41:50 am »
Kill you softly with 'his song'.  :P

Offline Sub

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #392 on: June 03, 2008, 01:51:40 pm »
I would systematically kill off everyone close to you, everyone you know and love.  They will die in the most horrifying and painful ways imaginable.  Eventually, the pain would become so great that you would commit suicide. 

This would of course occur in an alternate universe, as we've already established how I would kill you in this one.

Offline Veraal

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #393 on: June 03, 2008, 03:22:00 pm »
Sub, I will stalk you for months on end, memorizing every aspect of your schedule.  Upon finding the perfect moment to strike, I will abduct you swiftly.  You will be dragged to my basement where a horrible fate awaits.  You see, I will have prepared a giant vat of semen for you (Please do not inquire how I came to posses a giant vat of semen).  But I will not show you this vat right away, no.  First I would blindfold you and torture you in the worst ways imaginable.  You will long for the escape that will be your death.  Once I feel that you longed for death, I'd show you the giant vat of semen that I had prepared, explaining to you that this would be your tomb, that you are to drown in this vat.  I will then leave you to think of your fate for a few days, after which I would continue your torture for a few more weeks.  Once I feel that you've had enough, it will be then that I will drown you in the vat of semen.  And yes, you will love every second of your death.

Offline Yuu

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #394 on: June 03, 2008, 06:09:02 pm »
               Thrown into the Lake of Fire surrounding Diablo's Castle. You will suffer there for day and night, gnashing your teeth in pain and anguish for all eternity. I'll be standing right on the edge of the walkway, just out of your reach. I will be watching you, eating a gallon of ice cream as you watch in despair.

               You maybe alive, but deep inside, you will be dead and you will curse every second of it.

Offline Neoskel

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #395 on: June 04, 2008, 01:00:44 am »
Sub, I will stalk you for months on end, memorizing every aspect of your schedule.  Upon finding the perfect moment to strike, I will abduct you swiftly.  You will be dragged to my basement where a horrible fate awaits.  You see, I will have prepared a giant vat of semen for you (Please do not inquire how I came to posses a giant vat of semen).  But I will not show you this vat right away, no.  First I would blindfold you and torture you in the worst ways imaginable.  You will long for the escape that will be your death.  Once I feel that you longed for death, I'd show you the giant vat of semen that I had prepared, explaining to you that this would be your tomb, that you are to drown in this vat.  I will then leave you to think of your fate for a few days, after which I would continue your torture for a few more weeks.  Once I feel that you've had enough, it will be then that I will drown you in the vat of semen.  And yes, you will love every second of your death.


Death by excessive gratitude.  ;)

And for Yuu: death by Necromancer signature Too Many Skeletons skill.

Offline Yuu

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #396 on: June 04, 2008, 01:09:18 am »
Arrow'd

--->
---> --->
---> ---> --->
---> ---> ---> --->
---> ---> ---> ---> --->
---> ---> ---> --->
---> ---> --->
---> --->
--->

 :P

Offline Veraal

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #397 on: June 04, 2008, 09:17:22 am »
Penis'd

   ( ')
  /  /
 /  /
( ) )

":P"

Offline Skyward

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #398 on: June 04, 2008, 02:41:14 pm »
barney's dissaproval

straight*edit*
(. Y .)
boobed
« Last Edit: June 04, 2008, 05:26:07 pm by Skyward Descent »
Hell, Skyward Descent is pure win!
Quote from: Captain
I kill you in the name of DELICIOUS!

Offline Neoskel

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #399 on: June 05, 2008, 02:18:26 am »
Death by lack of text images.

Offline Yuu

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #400 on: June 05, 2008, 02:41:14 am »
Death by Barney.

Offline Sub

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #401 on: June 05, 2008, 11:18:24 pm »
It depends on what country you live in.  But in any case, I would prepare my entire life to run for the president of the United States.  I will sign up for a tour of duty in Iraq so that when I'm older I can state that I served my country in it's time of need.  After my tour of duty, I will attend an ivy league school, preferably Harvard or Yale.  Once my schooling is complete, it's off to the senate I go to become a successful senator.  Once I feel the time is right, I shall declare my candidacy for president of the United States of America.  I will run a campaign of lies and propaganda, saying whatever I can say to get myself elected.  In other words, I will follow the usual course. 

Upon becoming president, I will use my immense power and personal connections to dispatch special forces to assassinate you.  If I am feeling particularly bold, I will forego the special forces and simply full on invade your country.  An elaborate lie will be made up citing the reason why we need to invade your country, but this is a minor detail which will be filled in later.  In any case, it will be a spectacular genocide in which you are sure to die.

If you happen to live in the United States, I'll simply declare war against China or Russia (again, an elaborate lie will be made up citing the reason why we need to invade China / Russia).  You will be drafted into the army.  The casualties will be so immense that you are sure to die fighting the other side.  Oh, and I will be sure Neoskel gets drafted and dies fighting, too.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2008, 11:20:22 pm by Sub »

Offline Gorman Conall

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #402 on: June 06, 2008, 12:16:05 am »
Death by fat chick.

Offline Yuu

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #403 on: June 06, 2008, 12:36:43 am »
               I'll join the Secret Service and formulate an elaborate plan in order to frame you with counterfeit money. After I have succeeded sending you to jail, I will run for president of the newly formed New World Order. I will then use all of my connections to secretly research and develop the most amusing way to make you suffer for the longest amount of time. I will then implement it as the main form of punishment for people who are convicted with counterfeiting. I will then send you to an underground bunker located in the North Pole's crust. I will assign you to a small padded cell with a genetically engineered owl who is designed to say "O Rly?" every five seconds and a llama that licks you in the head every ten seconds and spits at you every thirty seconds. You will only be fed with liquidized duck fetus through a long straw located at the center of the room. Drugs and nano-machines are added to the feed in order to prevent you from snapping, therefore allowing you to feel every second of your suffering. I will also change the room's temperature from hot to cold and vice versa every two days. This is to make you sick, but not sick enough to kill you. I have greater plans for you, friend...

               After over two decades of being stuck inside the room, I will personally enter the padded room, but not before a robot servant of mine injects a paralyzing agent into your blood stream. I will then proceed to kiss your eye and caress your entire body using sandpaper. Think of it as an act of mercy, friend. :) I will then hire someone who will sneak into the facility and "rescue" you. He will bring you back to your family and/or loved ones, which are now relocated by the NWO to a small melon farm in Spain. I will suddenly show up behind you and grab a watermelon. I then take out a baseball bat and smash it to pieces, explaining to you that "a certain group of people" will also share "the same fate". Your family and/or loved ones will then approach you and tell the truth, that they are now brainwashed and will do anything for the NWO, much to my amusement. :) They then proceed to pull out chainsaws and rev them up. They then rush towards you, but just before they hit you, they turn onto themselves and hack each other to pieces while laughing maniacally at you, I then proceed to kill them all with a flamethrower while they are dancing the dance of death, laughing at each other while they're at it. Remember, you are still paralyzed and wheelchair-bound while they are doing this. :) Oh, and you cannot close your eyes because I replaced your eyes with remote-controlled cameras before you were "rescued" by the guy I hired.

               I will then escort you to the highest tower on Earth. You see, I prepared a very special "parting gift" for you, friend. When the results of my research program came out, they said that the most amusing way to kill you was to use a variant of the regular vat method. Of course I want the best for my bff, right? ;) So yes, a regular vat method would be too simple a death for you.

               Ok, so where was I? Oh yeah, I then inject you with a formula that lets you breath inside the vat. I then proceed to throw you in it. Oh, did I mention that the formula also extends your life by about a thousand years? :) Ok, heres the fun part. The vat isn't filled with semen, thats too simple. Instead, its filled with an enticing mixture of placentas, turds, rafflesia extract, umbilical cords and yes, aborted fetuses of all kinds of creatures. I even added a swollen dog fetus so you could have a little friend to talk to while your inside the vat, friend. I will then seal the vat and let you swim in there for a thousand years. Afterwards, I will drain the vat and use advanced nano-machine technology to cut you in half while keeping you sane and alive alive. I will then proceed to eat the part of your body that was cut off, raw. Yes, that is how much I love you. :-*

               Ah, finally, we reach the end of the road, my friend. ;D By now, you are probably squirming in pain and anguish and are filled to the brim with the desire to tear me apart limb from limb, or receive a quick death, whichever you like the most, friend. :-* Anyways, I will pull out a giant hammer and maul you until you are barely alive. I will then place the Mona Lisa in front of you, and from behind it, I will break through the painting and impale you with a harpoon through the mouth, thus ending your suffering. I hope you don't forget about me, friend. :)


                                                                                                              Sincerely, your bff

-NWO Pres. Yuu


PLEASE DON'T KILL ME... >.<

Offline Veraal

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Re: How would you kill the poster above you?
« Reply #404 on: June 06, 2008, 05:40:00 am »
anvil to the head.

also, ever notice some people spend too much time on this thread?