Author Topic: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!  (Read 15370 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Blarg

  • Krull Slayer
  • *****
  • Posts: 2362
  • HE'S BACK IN BLACK
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #15 on: November 16, 2007, 10:33:02 am »
Hey, great idea! It'd still work. Yeah, let's go with that one!  ;D


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline The Time Traveller

  • Cobra Commander
  • *****
  • Posts: 3919
  • Building a better yesterday tomorrow.
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #16 on: November 18, 2007, 12:51:35 pm »
"Your Sire?  Your Sire?  Could you please look up?  You are asleep?"

The thing had a shelly thing on it, and it had the spikiest of elbows.

"The Planty ones, the gunny ones... ah! here!  The Belly ones!  I am General Mouv of the Elbeastian Military, one of several ships sent out to find intelligent alien life.  Glad to meet you, I am here to make diplomacy with the Blargbells for the Elbeasts.  You will become citizens with full rights, and will be allowed to join the military.  How does that sound?"
Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Blarg

  • Krull Slayer
  • *****
  • Posts: 2362
  • HE'S BACK IN BLACK
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #17 on: November 18, 2007, 01:39:01 pm »
((Sorry, HW. I've already made arangements with Huck Lord of Buck to bring me guys to space. After that, however, RP with me as much as ya like. Sorry again.  :) ))


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline The Time Traveller

  • Cobra Commander
  • *****
  • Posts: 3919
  • Building a better yesterday tomorrow.
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #18 on: November 18, 2007, 01:40:10 pm »
"Excuse Me if I disturbed you.  Harrumph!"

*Leaves in a spaceship instantaneously*
Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Huckbuck

  • Balloon Fight Aerialist
  • *****
  • Posts: 4498
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2007, 07:02:59 am »
The president watched the flickering screen, its diods needed to be changed, aswell as the plasmafuel. "Hmmppff" He said to the Huckbuck standing next to him. "hmmppff indeed" the other Huckbuck, who had the characteristic Mark of Ghargarog, a huge abscess on the back of its head, said and nodded with difficulty. The screen showed what was supposed to be the leader of this strange race he had found, but why was the leader laying down for himself, waving thoose strange tentacles and making strange noises? It must be some sort of primitive ritual the president thought and scratched his nose. He looked at the priest standing next to him, with his front legs half jumping, half dancing in impatience. "Ohh what a bunch of uggly retards I am surounded with.. why must I rule over theese utterly idiotic asses?" He said for himself and continued to scratch his nose, now with the whole hand. "what?" asked the priest and looked up. "Oh.. wha? ooh nothing.."  said the absent-minded president. "Comand the Wanquoi robot to examine that... thing. Curse Hygyth, thats the most disgusting beeing I have ever had the misfortune to lay my beutifull eyes on." He said. "Well, except you then to be truly honest" he added. The Priest looked sligthly irritated and bowed. "It shall be done".

The Wanquoi reassembled the filmtransmitter and flapped with its remarkable small wings. It was a wonder that the wings could keep the ungainly robot flying, but they acctually did. Hovering in the air right over the strange creature it started to poke it with the filmtransmitter. The president watched the screen with disgust. Every poke made him see more then he wanted of that filthy creature.
@davidramnero

Offline Blarg

  • Krull Slayer
  • *****
  • Posts: 2362
  • HE'S BACK IN BLACK
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2007, 03:39:06 pm »
The lazy peasant, drunk on the outskirts of his twon, glanced up, seeing a great metal being (hazily).

His single eye shot open, looked like it might explode, when he began waving his tentacles madly in the air.

"Dnnt llnn kll llnn mmm llnn, dnnt llnn tkkk llnn mmm brrr!" Of coourse, this barrage of information was totally lost to the metal being, since it was unable to understand vibrations.


((Some background info, we are at the edge of a smallish village on the south-western side of the Hole, the Bell I am playing is a drunken vagrant on the run from the law, and we are in a smallish ditch in the ground. There are large bottles of alcohol everywhere, the containers made of metal. There is a speedwurm nearby, look at the original RP's posts to find its decription. :) ))
« Last Edit: November 20, 2007, 03:41:52 pm by Blarg »


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Huckbuck

  • Balloon Fight Aerialist
  • *****
  • Posts: 4498
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #21 on: November 21, 2007, 01:15:29 pm »
"look at that Ungraui! That pathetic creature! What is that supposed to be? It reminds me of thoose wierd dancers the Hygyth worshipers use.. oh I hate thoose.. that primitive beeing flailing thoose arms pisses me of!" The president said, going from wispering to almost roaring. "Your highness, that might be some sort of physical language used by this strange specie, what if it is calling for backup? We must get the Wanquoi back, there must be no proof of our visit when the backup gets there!" The priest said, trying to convince the stubborn president. "Oh well, go on then! while they are  still confused about what happened, we shall have the main plan ready" He said, taking his hand out of his nose. "Get me a hoverpod, I need to go to the conferance hall, we shall order a meeting."
@davidramnero

Offline Blarg

  • Krull Slayer
  • *****
  • Posts: 2362
  • HE'S BACK IN BLACK
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #22 on: November 21, 2007, 02:36:16 pm »
After calming down a little bit, Brrbrr the Village Idiot (official title, that's his job), examined the shiny thingy. It was definately shiny, as well as a thingy. It made funny noises and had lots of flashy lights. It also floated.

Brrbrr processed all this with his alcohol-addled brain, and decided that the only logical thing to do was to throw things at it.


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Huckbuck

  • Balloon Fight Aerialist
  • *****
  • Posts: 4498
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #23 on: November 22, 2007, 07:32:25 am »
The nervous Huckbuck ran and breathed nervously. Here was it, the Conference hall. He told the guard that he had an urgent message to the president. After a short fuss the grumpy guard opened the heavy door with a sign that said "Do not under any circumstances whatsoever enter this room when there's a meeting going on. Except if your matter is considered important by the president." As the young messenger walked into the crowded conference hall the screaming and arguing stopped and everybody looked up, and looked angry. "what is your matter? Speak up!" The president roared, very irritated to be interupted while being angry at his mouthpieces. "I have a message from the DSSR, the Division of Smart Stuff and Robotics.." he was interrupted by a huckbuck that by the looks, was a scientologist from the city of Gertareuij "Yea yea, offcourse we all know what that DSSR stand for.. well at least the smart ones of us" he said the last part to himself, barely not hearable, while looking at the president. "The.. uhm the DSSR reported that the Wanquoi has been attacked by the natives of this planet. It is not badly damaged though." The messenger explained and backed towards the wall, which was cluttered with lists of rules and regulations. "What type of weapon did they use? Was it biological? spiritual or physical? Or maybe even photonic?" the Scientologist asked while focusing his fierce eyes on the poor messenger. "Well... the.. the native.. it threw rocks and some sort of.. bottles sir.." He replied, looking down into the ground, as if he had done something bad, like killed and eaten the neighbor's Turgbui, without sharing it with his parents. The president stood up when he heard this, looking deranged. "What in the sacred name of the Holy Fire-extinguisher? Are they making fun of us? I don't know what to believe? Is this so called "sapient" race of imbeciles actually still fighting with sticks and stones!?" He roared, his voice resembling a testosterone addicted cow on heat. The scientologist that had been questioning the messenger turned around, gave the president a hating look and said, "You mean bottles and stones, sir." The look the president gave him was enough to give a bodybuilding Torpal heartfailure.
@davidramnero

Offline Blarg

  • Krull Slayer
  • *****
  • Posts: 2362
  • HE'S BACK IN BLACK
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #24 on: November 22, 2007, 08:18:41 am »
Seeing the shiney thingy do nothing but float there, making odd beep-ish sounds, Brrbrr thought. Or at least he thought that he was thinking. It was hard to tell when everything was all wavy like that. And why are there a bunch of wurms tap-dancing? Ah well.

He then attempted to crawl his way up the shiny thingy, hoping that the wavy-ness would stop if he sucked on the shiny's face-ish thingy.


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Huckbuck

  • Balloon Fight Aerialist
  • *****
  • Posts: 4498
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #25 on: November 22, 2007, 11:37:58 am »
"Should I do it?" The navigator asked his "friend". "What in the cursed name of Hygyth are you waiting for? Blast the damn thing back to the ethernal flames!" The "friend" roared at him. The navigator ingored his "friends" angry roaring, but pressed the big button in the middle of the keyboard. Yes, yes it WAS red.

The robot went silent for about 2 miliseconds, then a smal canon right under the videotransmitter blasted a ultraheat shot, that lit up the surroundings and left next to nothing of the poor Blargbell. Well, that would have been what would have happened if the Huckbuneese technology had worked they way it was supposed to, but instead everything that apeard was a thin lightray, shining into the eye of the Blargbell. Ten seconds later the whole Wanquoi exploded with a loud "broooaaaunnn".
@davidramnero

Offline Blarg

  • Krull Slayer
  • *****
  • Posts: 2362
  • HE'S BACK IN BLACK
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #26 on: November 22, 2007, 11:46:58 am »
Brrbrr buzzed in pain as the bright light shone in his large, light-sensitive eye, and then in terror as the shiney exploded violently.

The dazed Bell righted itself mometnarily, and looked about even more dazed than before. It looked at the place where the thinga-muhjig had been, and then got it into his odd, addled mind that he had vanquished this foe. He did a little victory dance to celebrate, then thought that and even better celebration was to get more alcohol!

He did this, latching onto his speedwurm and started to scuttle off towards the sleepy village, whose occupants were about to be awakened rather rudely...

((That's your cue to "beam down." Get to it, Scotty!  ;)))


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Huckbuck

  • Balloon Fight Aerialist
  • *****
  • Posts: 4498
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #27 on: November 22, 2007, 12:06:08 pm »
The president was mad. He was more mad, more furious and angrier then he had been for many many years. He was even angrier then he had been that time he had been longing for a Truumic cake all day, but when he had gotten back to his manor the chef told him that they were out of Trumics. That time he had fired 98% of his staff, written 12 new rules and spontaneous started to bomb the scientologists city of Gertareuij. It had taken 3 earth months for him to calm down.  "WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN, THE WANQUOI EXPLODED?" He didn't roar this. A roar would sound as a mouse fart compared to the sound the president produced with his soared throat. The messenger, half laying on the ground slowly replied; "Uhm.. exploded sir. It.. it was an old robot.. uhm and this new climate, the technicians think it had to do with the.. uhm the moisture or something.." as he finished the sentence he pulled his head to the ground, prepared for a new 300 decibel sound bombardment.  But it didn't come, instead the president said, with a strange tone; "Send a message to the General. We are going in. We're going in with full power."

5 minutes later

The huge ship slowly floated through the air. " Do you think this is a good place for the beam down sir?" the flat land looked quite fitting. "No.. no look. Over there there's a village. I think we should give the ignorant natives a show they wont forget.. well, they wont forget it until they're dead. But that wont take long, considering the president wont be miraculously healed from his exaggerated aggressive behavior. It. wont. Happen."
@davidramnero

Offline Blarg

  • Krull Slayer
  • *****
  • Posts: 2362
  • HE'S BACK IN BLACK
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #28 on: November 22, 2007, 01:02:00 pm »
Brrbrr was swaying drunkenly about town, his drunkeness causing his normal control over the speedwurm to be a bit odd. He looked up, trying to find a particular sign where a friend of his lived... ah, there it is. Or at least, I THINK that's it.

He tried the door. Bolted shut. He decided just to break in, instead. So he took a rock, and tossed it into the window, breaking it. Scuttling in, he was completely oblivious to the massive, floating behemoth looming above him, and the deafening noise of engine thrusters, and the smell of burning ozone. (The last one was simply from lack of nose.)

((BTW, let's try to keep this RP with the drunken Bell, mmkay? I have... plans for him. Oh, and try not to hurt him TOO much.  ;)))


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Huckbuck

  • Balloon Fight Aerialist
  • *****
  • Posts: 4498
    • View Profile
Re: The Blargbell's Introduction to the Galaxy- Hold onto your hats!
« Reply #29 on: November 22, 2007, 01:16:36 pm »
((OK, I was about to kill him with the robot, but realized that you probably would like to play him for more than just 3 posts :P))

The red button stayed pressed in, even after the huckbuck had removed his finger from it. A sound, like the one a car makes when it's got trouble starting since its to cold outside, suddenly appeared and a huge gate opened. "Well then soldiers, time to enter the beam down elevator." The technician said, looking at the huge amount of soldiers, armed to the nose. "Oh, shut up!" One of the Huckbuneese commander said and started to walk into the huge room which would take them down to the surface. "Y'all ready lads?" The same technicians asked. "Didn't I tell you to SHUT UP?!" the commander roared. Instead of roaring back the technician said "OK, this may hurt a bit," and pressed the red button again, mashing it deep down into the keyboard.  The huge gate shut and together with noise and light the soldiers half hovered half fell towards the ground. The impact made most of them fall, laying one their sides. "Get up you lazy Turgbuis!" the commander screamed, looking at the mass of "fallen" soldiers.
@davidramnero