Author Topic: "The "Elbeasts On.." Quadrology  (Read 41826 times)

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Offline The Time Traveller

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"The "Elbeasts On.." Quadrology
« on: September 28, 2007, 02:53:35 pm »
Introduction
It all started when the Elbeasts developed space travel.  Nearly every race was worried about their aggressiveness.  So all races, enemy and friend, sent down diplomats to their first base outside of their solar system, the one on a moon of Flatulen called Fecesia...
« Last Edit: March 04, 2008, 05:47:26 am by The Time Traveller »


Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Plank of Wood

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2007, 02:59:47 pm »
//This is Mon-Krai High Command.

Yeah, those threats of destroying our life as we know it and killing our children and executing our leaders, they're jamming up our Com HQ radio//
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Offline The Time Traveller

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2007, 03:08:09 pm »
The Elbeast Mayor up in the sky and said "Imma gonna fir3y d3str0y ya!", which meant, "Look at those blue avian creatures in the sky, I think we will attempt to shoot them down!"
Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Plank of Wood

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2007, 03:09:25 pm »
//Don't worry, WESA FIRING OUR LAZORZ!//

"CHARGE DA LAZORZ!"
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Offline The Time Traveller

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2007, 03:12:04 pm »
\\No, no, don't talk in leet, your creatures sound sophisticated, my creatures talk in leet because they are stupid and aggressive.\\

The Elbeast mayor said "Stup1d chargelasor!"  and proceeded to shoot the ship, making a hole and knocking some Mon-Krai onto the citie's ground.
Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Plank of Wood

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2007, 03:16:43 pm »
((The Mon-Krai rarely fight themselves, and when they are they are engeneers, the Mon-Krai use droids))


Droids started dropping into the Elbeat city. They outnumbered the Elbeats, out teched them.

//Let us talk in terms of agreement, or we will obliterate your race, understand? Fight make and we kill brutally, our droids do not have mercy or guilt//
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Offline The Time Traveller

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2007, 03:18:21 pm »
The mayor, with a short attention span and memory, had forgotten what he had just done, and said, "Whaddya wunt?".
Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Plank of Wood

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2007, 03:20:27 pm »
"Uh, damn primatives" said an Engeneer, armed with a bazooka. "Just capture thier mayor, then diplomacy may continue"
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Offline The Time Traveller

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2007, 03:22:19 pm »
The guards came out, ready, with their Puree-guns to their mouths.  They were talking through the corners of their mouths, and said "1d3ntify 70urs3lf!"
Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Little

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2007, 04:06:42 pm »
........ ???
The best person ever.  She should have won the Peace Prize.

What? No full control over children? You do realize that some of us have particular plans for those children.

Offline The Time Traveller

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2007, 10:48:28 am »
Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Dr. Croccer

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2007, 11:23:50 am »
........ ???
What?  What's wrong?
...Please tell me that you know whats wrong and that you are just kidding.

//This is the Barroc Confederacy and we hope to shake claws and phalangeopods with you. We hope that you are not xenophobic little savages because we're busy with a war right now. Attacking us would be very silly indeed as we have plenty of experience with dealing with barbarians and lesser species//

Offline Plank of Wood

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2007, 11:36:50 am »
"Oh nothing, we're just your mom. WERE ****ING ATTACKING YOU FOR ALL THOSE DEATH THREATS!"
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Offline Dr. Croccer

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2007, 11:40:47 am »
//Mon-Krai, calm down. We Barroc want a few slaves, gladiators, meals and freakshow attractions left once you are done to collect. Don't obliterate them all.//

The Barroc landed a few billion men to deal with the Elbeasts.

Offline Plank of Wood

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Re: First Contact with the Elbeast
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2007, 11:42:08 am »
//They just blew a hole in my new ship, and with such primative technology that it left a stain, what do you expect?//
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