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Author Topic: Behold! The Blargbells!  (Read 25006 times)

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Offline Blarg

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Behold! The Blargbells!
« on: September 14, 2007, 06:42:23 pm »
Yes, another newb, with another creature.

Here's the original thread, where it shows how my creatures were made, and who made them. -->
http://www.gamingsteve.com/blab/index.php?topic=10363.0


ANATOMY

This, as a general pic, is their anatomy (except their "mouth", more on that later.

 


Sight: Generally okay, but not by human standards. They have alright sight at close range, but it starts getting pretty blurry the farther they go away from something.

Smell: Absolutely none. This is probably why they don't care about digging big pits to fill rotting corpses with, or swimming in cess pools.

Taste: Poor. They have tastebuds at the tips of their tentacles, but they are about half as capable as those of a human's for picking up individual tastes. They are mainly just for telling if something is poisonous, or not.

Touch: Incredible, human beings would probably have a difficult time imagining it. Basically, they can "see" using vibrations in the air and ground. Their little hairs at the ends of their tentacles vibrate when they feel vibrations in the air and ground, giving them an extremely accurate picture of what something looks like. For this reason, they could actually "see" through walls, giving them the appearance of having x-ray vision.

Hearing: Some things to note are their tentacles. These appendages are not only their way to manipulate objects, but also their way of "hearing". Instead of ears, those little hairs on the end of their tentacles pick up vibrations in the air, and the ground. For this reason, when "crawling", the Blargbells (usually) have at least one of their tentacles on the ground to feel for where everything is. The other ones will be in the air, feeling vibrations in the air like an ear would. In other words, they do "hear", they just process sounds differently than we would. For them, it's more like they are "seeing" the vibrations than hearing them.

Feeling: See above.

An odd aspect of the Blargbells is their outlook on death and killing, which is completely okay in their opinions. This is because their bodies produce a type of explosive gas as a waste product, which is let through pores all over their bodies in a kind of continuous flatulence. This gas is released as long as their heart is beating. Interestingly, AFTER the heart ceases functioning, the gas continues to build up pressure, until eventually the Blargbell violently explodes (intensity of explosion varies greatly. The strongest recorded left a 10-foot deep crater, the smallest was about the power of an Earthan firecracker). This explosion sends spores, which have been inside the Blargbell this whole time, rushing out. When (and if) they land on dead, organic material (rotting log, dead animal, rotting corpse of the one who "birthed" them), they proceed to grow in a fashion similar to a fungus. When another spore, possibly from the same "parent" lands on it, it starts to grow into a very small version of a Blargbell, posessing only animal instinct to survive with. Every week, a group of volunteers goes to collect sporelings, and also the young. It's always easy to collect the ones that haven't transformed yet, but capturing the animalistic and deadly Blarglings (young) can sometimes be a problem, due to them attempting to melt you with their acid-spit. This is an example of one of the spores, at roughly 1000 times magnification.



As you may have noticed, the Blargbells are lacking in the mouth department. Their method of eating is a bit ... "different" for intelligent beings. Essentially, they are like big, top hat sized ticks. Here is a picture of their stomach/mouth.



You may notice the end of it. It is a pronged fork-like instrument, used for various things. The first one is their typical fluid sucking needle, used very much in the same way a mosquito uses its needle mouth to suck blood. The second one is used to spit up intestinal juices to melt anything which is to thick to be sucked up otherwise. This is used mainly for "eating" leaves, fruits, grasses, and carrion it finds.

It's third and last prong, however has a special use. The Blargbells are essentially parasites, I've told you that. But this third prong is neurally attached to a Blargbell's brain, and if it is placed in an animal's spinal cord, it can actually control the movements that its host makes! This is frightening, but it has its limits. The main creature that it used this on before becoming intelligent, was a stupid scavenging animal, named the Zombeh. These were incredibly easy to control, because all they think about is the next meal. Literally, they don't even do anything else. All they do is eat, and occasionally stop every once is awhile to lay an egg, and that's it.
But anyway, like I said, the body-controlling ability is not always definite. It usually only works well on weak-willed animals, and only the ones that actually posess vertebrae. If there actually is intelligent life out there, it would be extremely unlikely that the Blargbells could take over their bodies, unless this intelligent life was doing it willingly, and not against its will. But theoretically, it would be POSSIBLE for a Blargbell to force an intelligent alien to become under its control, this would cause probably fatal mental stress on the Blargbells. Not that they'd care, but still.
The thing directly under the "mouth" is a stomach with cartilage-like skin over it, to protect it. The "mouth" can retract into this stomach (the mouth-tentacle is easily bruised, which is a major problem... unless you actually WANT to starve to death due to collapsing of the "throat"), which in turn can retract into the rest of the body, allowing the Blargbell free movement.


PLANET



This is their planet. Instead of green, like on earth, all the plants here are orange, while the atmosphere (and obviously, the water), is red. Some interesting features about the planet's surface is the Hole (that big, dark, spooky hole). The Hole is a gigantic group of catacombs that reaches underneath the planet's surface. It spans a large amount of the planet, and it is here where the Blargbells originate. I will draw up a map of the Hole and all of its glory later so you can see just HOW far the Hole goes. Later. Much. >_>

Animal life on Frrkrr (Home Planet) is varied, and often wierd. The main animal groups are Bells, Worms, (list to be continued when more are made...) Anyway, here's a link to the thread that is turning into a Compilation of the Animal Life of Frrkrr. http://www.gamingsteve.com/blab/index.php?board=18.0


THE UNWRITTEN RULES

The Unwritten Rules are called that... because they haven't been written down. Duh.

The Unwritten Rules are these.

1. Fight for your king, your country, and your family.
2. Never harm anyone in charge of you, under penalty of not being Awesome.
3. Always strive to be Awesome, never stop trying to be so.
4. If you do happen to stop being Awesome, don't become resentful to those who are. Just carry on your life, and try to please your Awesome master.
5. If two of your fellows are fighting, don't stand by the sidelines not knowing what to do. Join in!
6. If the decision is to run away unscathed, or to die a hero's death and becoming incredibly Awesome in the process, ALWAYS choose death.
7. Never judge your fellow Bell. Just find out yourself by poking him in the eye, then seeing what he does.
8. If you are celebrating, don't keep it to yourself. Celebrate with the whole community!
9. Never leave a young Bell by himself. If there is a hathling that needs a home, do not turn him away. Bring him into your home, just as you did your first hatchling.
10. FOLLOW THESE RULES TO YOUR DEATH, OR SUFFER A FATE WORSE THAN NOT BEING AWESOME!


THE AWESOME

The Awesome is money, The Awesome is politics, The Awesome is your job, The Awesome is LIFE. It is what allows them to live, and to die. The Awesome is everything.
I'll do this piece by piece. First off is...

LIFE- Yes, The Awesome is Life, and also Death. The Awesome is one of the Unwritten Rules, and definitely the most Awesome of all of Them. It was the very first in existence, and the Blargbells are not even entirely sure where or when they first discovered The Awesome. All they know is that The Awesome is Awesome. All their life, they strive to do Awesome things, like climb the highest mountain in the world with no hooks, attack a horde of Ninja with nothing but a rotten fish, to find the cure to that disease that has been destroying the Blargbell's very way of life. That is the Meaning of the Blargbells. Yes, the Meaning is Awesome. And with the help of The Awesome, the Blargbells can be Awesome too.

MONEY- Yes, The Awesome is money. The Awesome (points) are awarded to you when you do Awesome things. Everything is Awesome in one way or another, depending on how you look at it. Everyone may or may not have differentiating opinions on what Awesome is, and everyone will decide differently on how Awesome somebody is. That is the Way of The Awesome. Depending on how Awesome you've been, the Awesomer (whoever is in charge of you, who are obviously much more Awesome than you are) will award you with Awesome (points) which allow you to buy things. And that, undoubtedly, is Awesome.

JOB- Yes, The Awesome is your job. Your job is chosen for you at birth, with the spin of a Wheel. Every village has at least one Wheel. The Wheel is a giant... well.. a giant gameshow wheel. It is as tall as about 10 feet, with possibly hundreds of jobs listed on it in equal amounts. These jobs include, but are not limited to Architect, Lumberjack, Fisherbell, Floater, Huntsbell, Awesomer, and Awesome Pursuer. Sometimes you may get more than one job, the world record being 27 jobs. The Blargbell in question died from overwork.
The two later mentioned jobs, The Awesomer and the Awesome Pursuer are special. The Awesomer takes on the life style of something in between a monk, a priest, a banker, and a Duke (or Duchess). If a Blargbell acquires this option, they are immediately taken to the nearest Temple to begin Life as an Awesomer. The Awesomers spend their life in seclusion form the outside world, except once a year when they have all the Blargbells under their rule come and receive their yearly Awesome (points), each Blargbell gaining more or less depending on how Awesome they've been. If they haven't done ten or more Awesome things during the year (recorded by the Less Awesome, basically a group of people who go around recording all the Awesome things that others have done. The Less Awesome are the "in-between" for the Awesomer and the common Blargbells), they are taken away to be Slaves, never to be Awesome again, no matter what they do (a common job for the Slave is to train to be a Nirate, whose entire purpose in life is to attack and hopefully kill any Awesome Pursuers possible. This job is ironically highly sought-after by the Slaves, and if they can prove their worthiness in battle, they are allowed to get this job with permission from their Masters). The Awesomers are regarded with respect, even though their methods of determining the Awesomeness of somebody is skewered and flawed. The Awesomers have no need for money, and anything that they want, they get.
The Awesome Pursuers are different from the rest of the rabble, because they are Awesome. They are like a combination of Robin Hood, Boba Fett, the Three Musketeers, and Batman. In other words, they are close a superbeing, but not quite. All their life, all they do is go around trying to find something Awesome to do. Unlike the typical Blargbell, who would spend most of their work day doing one thing in particular, the Awesome Pursuers will go around slaying dangerous beasts, rescuing damsels in distress, and attacking Nirates. The Nirate attacking part happens a lot, because not many average Blargbells can live up to the standard that the Awesomers think is needed. Like the Awesomers, if the Awesome Pursuers need anything (almost never, usually just an army to gallantly charge into battle with), then they will get it. In modern times, a camera crew, as well as someone to apply makeup ALWAYS goes with an Awesome Pursuer wherever he goes, so as to better record the Awesome things that he does.

POLITICS- Yes, the Awesome is politics. Even Politicians can be Awesome.
The way that politics goes about on the Blargbells' home, is a bit different. Whenever somebody is born, he (or she) is immediately recorded by the Less Awesome. Every ten years, every single Blarbell alive is taken to the polls, and the people will vote on whoever is the most Awesome. Obviously, people will have differntating opinions what is Awesome and what is not quite as Awesome, but that does not matter, because in one way or another, something as menial as eating a sammich can be Awesome.
But anyway, after a year of getting everyone on the planet (that is under rule with the Empire, anyway)  the Awesomest (The King or Queen of Cool, respectively) is finally chosen. This Awesomest is then set for life, never needing to lift a finger or do anything, because he is automatically considered the most Awesome person on the Planet, and can thus do whatever he deems fit. Oddly, the Awesomest Ones don't actually DO much, and only deal with the big problems, like if one of the Awesomers are attacked, and giving inspirational speeches at things like funerals/birth rituals of famous Blargbells, or if there is a war going on, the Awesomest will ALWAYS be in charge of the battles. Always (although, that does not nesasarily mean that he is at the FRONT of a battle)


WEAPONRY


This is a Liquilazer 300! Made from the best of Vrrsmm, Httrrdrr, and Flkktrr woods, plus various metals and minerals, this fine piece of mechanical genius can be yours today with just a few minutes walk to your nearest armory! Yes, as apposed to the old models, and the off brands, this new Liquilazer 300 has brand new multifunctional capabilities, and only has a SLIGHT chance of melting in your tentacles, and burning holes into anything it touches!
Yessir, with the skin of only the toughest Transparent Woblies, the oils from our Vrrsmm and Httrrdrr trees almost never explode, releasing its poisonous gasses around its owner! With just a pull of the trigger, the two oils are sucked into two separate tubes, hitting each other right before being shot out, creating a giant, blazing ball of fire, which when it hits something, just keeps on burning! No sir, no more will you EVER have to worry about your enemy just shaking the burning goo off of his smoldering flesh, now it just sticks, stays, and BURNS!

Buy now for 200,000 Awesome Points, and if you buy ten, we'll throw in a magnificent sniper barrel, interchangeable with the Fireball barrel. Worried about getting so close you get hit yourself? No worries! Now you can kill 'em from over one hundred yards away!


ENTERTAINMENT

The main form of Blargbellian entertainment is the Arena. This is a place of death... but also a place of life. (if you want to know why I keep calling death and life the same thing, vote for biology! Then you'll know! *hint hint*)



Understanding this picture will be difficult without me explaining it. So, here we go. The arenas are not bell-made. They are actually plants, hollowed out for their grisly purposes.
All the golden dots are Blargbells. Did I forget to metion that they can stick to flat surfaces? Ah well. Anyway, they are doing just that, all over the arena, wherever there is room. The opening are four holes bored into the side of it, which is used for light, air, and also the entrance.
That giant "face" is actually a bunch of Blargbells, whose job is to douse themselves in paint, moving into the symbol of whoever the champion gladiator is. Coincidentally, the symbol for Grrshnkk (the champion) is a giant, square clown face. Who knew?
The lower walls are set up with weapons of all sorts, allowing the warriors to fight better. As you may have noticed, some of the weapons are currently in use. (Hint: Grrshnkk, the champion, is the one that is incredibly large.)
The tunnel underneath is the only other way into and out of the Arena, except for those big holes at the top. This tunnel leads to a hatch (not shown) which goes into a set of very small, dark tunnels, which leads into each of the holding cells. As you can see, each holding cell has Ironwood bars laid into the dirt, as a semi-useful way to try to keep the prisoners from burrowing out. As you can also see, this method was obviously not working for one of the cells, and if they want to keep their lives, then they had better dig fast.
The prisoners are all criminals. Any crime at all, even minor ones, results in being thrown into the arena, unless otherwise specified by somebody with sufficient authority. (Awesomers, Awesome Pursuers, Awesomests, Less Awesomes, etc.) Although they are frequently killed, if a prisoner lasts long enough in the arena, defeating many a foe without being killed, they will eventually be let out, with the new title of Anti-Awesome. Despite this name, this does not mean they are not Awesome. On the contrary, they are VERY Awesome. But this one, special job is just that: to be against the Awesomers, Awesome Pursuers, etc. They spend the rest of their (potentially short) lives amassing evil hordes of Blargbells, attempting to take over the world, etc. It is possible that they will stop being Anti-Awesomes, and begin being Awesome Pursuers, but unlikely because after a life of being forced to destroy, it's difficult to go back to being good. Plus, black capes are awesome.

Another common game is Bludgeonball, a more tame version of the Arena, for children. They take large mallets and a ball, and try to keep the ball from the other team as long as possible, no matter what the cost. It is actually still entirely possible that you could be bludgeoned to death in this "kid" game, but that doesn't stop it from being fun!

« Last Edit: November 09, 2007, 04:10:46 pm by Blarg »




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Offline The Time Traveller

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2007, 06:45:16 pm »
Awesome!  Nothing about the drunken aliens who made them?
Warning: Hot.  Choking Hazard for children under 3.  Please do not exit until the vehicle comes to a complete stop.  EULA removes all human rights.  Special features are not rated.  Side effects include  cardiac arrest and spontaneous falling off of body parts.  May contain nuts.  Acts are being performed by trained proffesionals.  Results not typical.  Thank you for flying with United Airlines.

Offline Blarg

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2007, 06:47:56 pm »
Shh! Don't tell everyone! It's going into a poll!

Ah well. Just don't day anything else.  :P


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Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Snake

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2007, 07:36:36 pm »
I request that the Blargbell reports of UFOs be Mialin spacecraft.  :P Cowbells ftw! Goooo Cowbell.
Please look at the Miala and their Wiki on the page.

Quote from: Gungnir
Blarg chicka blarg-blarg

Offline Blarg

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2007, 08:10:34 pm »
Sweet. The Awesome is winning.

And sure, Snake, I'll have reports for the Milian spacecraft. I'll stick it in ancient history.  :P

They can't have any knowledge of UFOs until whoever wins the poll in the Spore Games section comes and sends them to space. Until then, they won't even know thatthere IS a space... or a sun... or anything else for that matter. Which I'll explain later.


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Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Snake

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #5 on: September 14, 2007, 08:18:25 pm »
I atleast want to have some influence on them ,even if I lose the poll.
Please look at the Miala and their Wiki on the page.

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Blarg chicka blarg-blarg

Offline Kratok

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2007, 08:52:56 pm »
Wow. The Kratok and Blargbells would have ended up getting together somewhat good. There both quadrupedal, orange, blind bastards(Bells are physically bastards. You mind leeches you).

Offline Blarg

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2007, 04:38:38 am »
They have eyesight, it's just extremely poor. They do, however lack ears, and a nose. Although they do have tastebuds, their tastebuds are just at the ends of their tentacls, and they aren't super-duper or anything. But they make up for it with the fact that they can "see" you through walls.


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Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

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Offline Undistinguished

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2007, 03:49:41 pm »
Blargbells.. looks suspicously like a Cowbell
Hmm....

Offline Brandonazz

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2007, 04:04:48 pm »

Offline Blarg

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2007, 06:17:52 pm »
Can't see your pic Brandonazz.


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Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

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Offline PikMini

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #11 on: September 15, 2007, 06:58:19 pm »
Let me translate:

What this thread NEEDS is More COWBELL!

Offline Blarg

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2007, 07:23:03 pm »
THE AWESOME

The Awesome is money, The Awesome is politics, The Awesome is your job, The Awesome is LIFE. It is what allows them to live, and to die. The Awesome is everything.
I'll do this piece by piece. First off is...

LIFE- Yes, The Awesome is Life, and also Death. THe Awesome is one of the Unwritten Rules, and definately the most Awesome of all of Them. It was the very first in existance, and the Blargbells are not even entirely sure where or when they first discovered The Awesome. All they know is that The Awesome is Awesome. All their life, they strive to do Awesome things, like climb the highest mountain in the world with no hooks, attack a horde of Ninja with nothing but a rotten fish, to find the cure to that disease that has been destroying the Blargbess's very way of life. That is the Meaning of the Blargbells. Yes, the Meaning is Awesome. And with the help of The Awesome, the Blargbells can be Awesome too.

MONEY- Yes, The Awesome is money. The Awesome (points) are awarded to you when you do Awesome things. Everything is Awesome in one way or another, depending on how you look at it. Everyone may or may not have differentating opinons on what Awesome is, and everyone will decide differnetly on how Awesome somebody is. That is the Way of The Awesome. Depending on how Awesome you've been, the Awesomer (whoever is in charge of you, who are obviously much more Awesome than you are) will award you with Awesome (points) which allow you to buy things. And that, undoubtedly, is Awesome.

JOB- Yes, The Awesome is your job. Your job is chosen for you at birth, with the spin of a Wheel. Every village has at least one Wheel. The Wheel is a giant... well.. a giant gameshow wheel. It is as tall as about 10 feet, with possibly hundreds of jobs listed on it in equal ammounts. These jobs include, but are not limited to Architect, Lumberjack, Fisherbell, Floater, Huntsbell, Awesomer, and Awesome Pursuer. Sometimes you may get more than one job, the world record being 27 jobs. The Blargbell in question died from overwork.
The two later mentioned jobs, The Awesomer and the Awesome Pursuer are special. The Awesomer takes on the life style of something in between a monk, a priest, a banker, and a Duke (or Duchess). If a Blargbell aquires this option, they are immediatly taken to the nearest Temple to begin Life as an Awesomer. The Awesomers spend their life in seclusion form the outside world, except once a year when they have all the Blargbells under their rule come and recieve their yearly Awesome (points), each Blargbell gaining more or less depending on how Awesome they've been. If they haven't done ten or more Awesome things during the year (recorded by the Less Awesome, basically a group of people who go around recording all the Awesome things that others have done. The Less Awesome are the "in-between" for the Awesomer and the common Blargbells), they are taken away to be Slaves, never to be Awesome again, no matter what they do (a common job for the Slave is to train to be a Nirate, whose entire purpose in life is to attack and hopefully kill any Awesome Pursuers possible. This job is ironically highly sought-after by the Slaves, and if they can prove their worthiness in battle, they are allowed to get this job with permission from their Masters). The Awesomers are regarded with respect, even though their methods of determining the Awesomeness of somebody is skewered and flawed. The Awesomers have no need for money, and anything that they want, they get.
The Awesome Pursuers are different from the rest of the rabble, because they are Awesome. They are like a comonation of Robin Hood, Boba Fett, the Three Musketeers, and Batman. In other words, they are close a superbeing, but not quite. All their life, all they do is go around trying to find something Awesome to do. Unlike the typical Blargbell, who would spend most of their work day doing one thing in particular, the Awesome Pursuers will go around slaying dangerous beasts, rescuing damsels in distress, and attacking Nirates. The Nirate attacking part happens alot, because not many average Blargbells can live up to the standard that the Awesomers think is needed. Like the Awesomers, if the Awesome Pursuers need anything (almost never, usually just an army to gallantly charge into battle with), then they will get it. In modern times, a camera crew, as well as someone to apply make-up ALWAYS goes with an Awesome Pursuer wherever he goes, so as to better record the Awesome things that he does.

POLITICS- Yes, the Awesome is politics. Even Politicians can be Awesome.
The way that politics goes about on the Blargbells' home, is a bit different. Whenever somebody is born, he (or she) is immediately recorded by the Less Awesome. Every ten years, every single Blarbell alive is taken to the polls, and the people will vote on whoever is the most Awesome. Obviously, people will have differntating opinions what is Awesome and what is not quite as Awesome, but that does not matter, because in one way or another, something as menial as eating a sammich can be Awesome.
But anyway, after a year of getting everyone on the planet (that is under rule with the Empire, anyway)  the Awesomest (The King or Queen of Cool, respectively) is finally chosen. This Awesomest is then set for life, never needing to lift a finger or do anything, because he is automatically considered the most Awesome person on the Planet, and can thus do whatever he deems fit. Oddly, the Awesomest Ones don't actually DO much, and only deal with the big problems, like if one of the Awesomers are attacked, and giving inspirational speeches at things like funerals/birth rituals of famous Blargbells, or if there is a war going on, the Awesomest will ALWAYS be in charge of the battles. Always (although, that does not neccisarly mean that he is at the FRONT of a battle)


Quote
Better to live like there was a God, then die and find out there isn't than to live like there wasn't a God then die and find out there is.

Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

Offline Darth Grievi

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2007, 07:34:57 pm »
Awesome ;)

No, serriously, it's original and I like!

Offline Snake

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Re: Behold! The Blargbells!
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2007, 08:35:51 pm »
AHahaha. The Awesome! Salute!
Please look at the Miala and their Wiki on the page.

Quote from: Gungnir
Blarg chicka blarg-blarg