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Messages - Great Distance

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 181
31
Everything Else / Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« on: August 10, 2017, 12:41:21 am »
Thanks Yokto :)

32
Everything Else / Re: Dreams
« on: August 07, 2017, 08:12:10 am »
I bet it would be sad if my mother died. My father was kind of a ****, so I didn't mourn him much. After he died I was on the train on my way back home. I closed my eyes and had a short dream that he woke up after all. Then I cried a little because I realised I wanted him to live. But I hardly cried after that. His lungs were destroyed, so even if he had survived, it wouldn't have been a good life. When he was in the hospital he could hardly breathe and he was terrified and in pain. No need to prolong his misery.

He was 62 and he had been retired due to health reasons for my entire life. For about ten years he was an alcoholic. After he sobered up, he always yelled at me.

There was really no purpose to his life anymore. The last time I saw him before he went into the hospital, he already had trouble breathing and there was hardly any life in his eyes. When he was in the hospital he was so scared he hardly looked like himself.

It was his time.

33
Everything Else / Re: Dreams
« on: August 06, 2017, 01:44:42 am »
Two years ago.

34
Everything Else / Re: Personal Problem Discussion Thread
« on: August 05, 2017, 10:10:16 am »
Huh, it's kinda interesting to read what kinda problems I had in March. I was all stressed out about getting a job.

Now I have one and I am just slowly dying inside. I mean, I keep obsessing over the scars on my face. Wahh wahh wahh, I am too ugly for anyone to love me or even me to love myself. Wahh wahh wahh.

35
Everything Else / Re: Dreams
« on: August 05, 2017, 10:06:48 am »
The first time I dreamt of my father after his death I said in the dream "And it's great that even father is here, although he is dead!" In the dream he was alive but I knew he was supposed to be dead. Nowadays when I dream of him I sometimes dream that he has just been hiding all this time. Or that he was in a hospital or in a coma or was even supposed to be dead, but suddenly doctors started seeing signs of life.

Dreaming is nice, though. It makes me forget my ****ty life.

36
Art / Re: Must Write Bad Poetry
« on: July 19, 2017, 06:56:50 am »
These scars
Never fade
The shame

I made a mistake
But I thought mistakes
Were meant to be made

A mark
Of shame

Conceal
Every day

Shame

Remind you
Every day

Shame

Marked with
Shame

Some things
You can forget

But some things stay
Every day

Shame

Shame

Conceal
Every day

The scars
The
Shame

37
Everything Else / Re: The off-topic Topic
« on: July 03, 2017, 11:56:29 am »
Found him, thank you!

Yay!

38
Everything Else / Re: The off-topic Topic
« on: July 03, 2017, 09:44:08 am »
How do I find him on Steam, though? There's a lot of Pat Mans there. But not a single PatMan33.

39
Everything Else / Re: The off-topic Topic
« on: July 03, 2017, 09:27:40 am »
In fact if anyone knows how to contact him, I'd like to say hi myself.

I had him as a Facebook friend, but I had my own freakout and deleted all my facebook friends last Christmas. We used to chat there sometimes.

So if anyone can drop him a message that I'd like to be in contact again, that would be great.

40
Art / Re: DeepArt - neural network-created art
« on: July 03, 2017, 09:18:06 am »
Oh that's cool.

Sorry I hadn't seen this. I was somewhere wallowing in my misery.

41
Everything Else / Re: The off-topic Topic
« on: July 03, 2017, 09:16:01 am »
So Pat decided to go crazy, huh.

Good for him. If you see him, tell him I said hi.

42
Portable Games / Re: A Comprehensive Pokémon Thread
« on: April 08, 2017, 10:28:08 pm »
To celebrate my new job I ordered Pokemon Omega Ruby. I couldn't get into playing the pirated version, anyway. I guess I have grown a conscience.

43
Everything Else / Re: Gripe Thread
« on: April 08, 2017, 03:03:49 am »
I also know one guy who makes Jewish jokes, and I have never understood what compels one to do it. A misguided attempt to appear tough, maybe.

Personally I find it to be in poor taste.

44
Everything Else / Re: The Personal Triumph Thread
« on: April 06, 2017, 10:26:18 am »
But yeah, at least now it feels like I'm living life instead of just hiding away at home. I mean, hiding away at home has its upsides, but it can also get quite dull. Whereas not hiding away can get quite stressful... it's forever a battle between being bored to death and being stressed to death. But yeah... I'd say things are looking better than at Christmas, when I was basically thinking of killing myself.

45
Everything Else / Re: The Personal Triumph Thread
« on: April 06, 2017, 10:18:11 am »
Ehh I'm sure some terrible **** is about to go down eventually. For example, with my new job, I have a huge lack of time to do my school work. I am looking forward to having absolutely no free time.

Honestly I'm really stressed, both about not having enough time study and the contents of the new job. The job entails using software I've never used before. They are aware of this at the job, but still it's stressful.

Also I dated that guy earlier, but decided it wasn't a match made in heaven. But I'm tired of being single, so let's give it another chance. Maybe he has learned better ways to act. I mean, at least he's kinda cute and successful in his life. Better than some other losers who have been into me.

Seriously I have no idea if these new good developments are going to end well at all. But hell, I was just about to run out of savings as the new job came along, so it happened at the perfect time. And I was JUST thinking about "okay, got a job, now needs boyfriend" when I randomly ran into this dude. So yeah. It SEEMS like everything is coming together perfectly, but I am very anxious nonetheless. Only time will tell.

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