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Topics - Wahh

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Spore: General / WW Announces Cryogenic Sleep!
« on: March 27, 2006, 09:42:13 am »
WW Announces Cryogenic Sleep at GDC!

Associated Press, Wahh—Will Wright announced today at his GDC presentation that he will go into cryogenic stasis for the remainder of the production of Spore.  When asked for a reason for this unexpected move, he replied “I just couldn’t stand another conscious moment without Spore any longer.”

Wright also announced the new head producer for Spore, a green, three-legged creature known only as a “Willosaur.”  “Willy here has been with me from the very beginning, and now he will have a chance to take his ideas and incorporate them into Spore,” said WW upon the announcement.  “He is an excellent advisor, and he says he wants to create all sorts of new creatures.  In order to help him do this, I’ve put him in charge of all creature creation as well as giving him the final say on which creatures are selected for the game.”  The willosaur, when approached by the press, said “Sqwak! Reeargh, plomph! [no comment]”  It then proceeded to punch a reporter in the face and drag his body behind the PS3 booth, where it feasted upon his flesh.

In other news, the Willosaur has announced the creation of two new creatures and their respective empires: the Billosaurs and the Willyopterouses.  An interpreter for the Willosaur told the press, “[The Willosaur] is very pleased to announce the birth of two new races in his, umm… I mean Will Wright’s image.  We are continuing to work on improving the pool of creatures, which involves making new ones and getting rid of ones that do not conform to our, umm… standards.”

In an unrelated incident, a large Ford Explorer with multiple beak-like protrusions was taken behind the Maxis booth and shot.  Several Willosaurs were observed on the scene mumbling, “Pleaaough! [dinner].”

When the Mayor of Sim City was asked for comment, he replied, “This is a scrumptious situation.  Please don’t quote me on that.”

Oh, and if you all can't get that this is a joke, please leave this forum  ;D

Forum Games / WW vs Chuck Norris
« on: March 11, 2006, 05:30:45 am »
All right, now that Chuck Norris jokes are so popular and WW has joined the forums, it's time to compare the two.

For example:

1 Chuck Norris Kick (CNK) can power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.  However, 1 WW click (WWC) can destroy an entire planet.  ;D

God wanted to make the earth in 10 days, Chuck Norris gave him 6.  However, WW can make as many worlds as he wants, and all it takes is a bit of data and a few minutes.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that their head turned backward.  WW then entered the creature editor and turned everything else around to match.

Get the idea?  :D

Music / This guy is freaking awesome!
« on: January 16, 2006, 06:01:26 pm »
Check out Andrew Pant's songs at

He takes requests and turns them into hilarious songs.  I would suggest listening to The Touchtone Genius, Celtic Techno Burrito, and Mike Celestino, What Have You Done With Star Wars?

Spore: General / Your Space Fix
« on: January 15, 2006, 06:12:26 pm »
For all of you that want a good example of what the Spore endgame--the space stage--should be, you should check out this:

This guy makes the Flash Trek series, which lets you pilot a ship in the Trekkie universe.  His latest work, broken mirror, lets you pilot nearly 100 different ships under the flag of around 10 different space empires.  Each empire owns different planets, and ownership of planets and space stations can change over time, shifting the balance of power.  Even the player can conquer planets and build space stations.

If you conquer 46 planets for yourself or under the flag of another empire (earth, klingon, vulcan, tholian syndicate, cardassian order, dominion only--possibly borg) then you win the game and are given an uber ship that practically never dies and has unlimited power.

I'm not really a trekkie, but I still loved the game.  I would suggest downloading it to your computer to make playing easier.

Spore: General / Database filtering devices and ratings
« on: October 16, 2005, 07:13:52 pm »
We already know that our creatures will be uploaded to a database for download to every other player's computer.  How are we going to separate quality creatures and items from crap.

Here are a series of problems, followed by a solution:

1. Attack of the giant penises wielding dildo spears
We all do not want obscenity filling our computer from other players.  Not only is this inappropriate, but given the recent squiemishness of the ESRB, it could cause Spore to get a M or AO rating.

2. Paralysis by the 100 armed lag monster
Is the game going to select creatures that are able to be simulated on whatever computer power is available?  Players could make a complex creature that would slow down others' computers, causing the game to lag.

3. Advertisement and Poor Quality Artwork
I do not know how the skin editor will operate, but what if someone starts using a copywrighted or unwarranted advertisement skin?  And what will we do with all the poorly made blobs out there whose skin consists of flourescent pink and neon blue?

4. I Want to See My Friend's Creature
Will we be able to choose to have certain creatures in my environment?

5. This Creature Sucks/PWNS
Can we rate other creatures based on different qualities?  Can we see our creature's score and compare it to others?

My solution is to let each creature have a rating system.  Players can rate a creature they find on scales of uniqueness, beauty, consumption of system resources, and inappropriateness.  Players can also choose which creatures they would prefer being on their computer.  For example, maybe I have a slow computer, so I prefer creatures with a system resources rating of no higher than 5/10.  Or maybe I'm a perve and want to see creatures with an obscenity level of 7/10 or above.  Players should have stats on each of their creatures as well as how many ratings they've given.  Make giving ratings a thing of honor, perhaps by aknowleging the games most active raters.


Spore: General / Pack Behavior and Control
« on: October 11, 2005, 07:05:20 pm »
I'm just wondering, if there is packs and pack behavior in Spore, how will it work?  Will there be AI behind it to direct the herd's movements, or will you be able to control the herd, perhaps through calls?

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