Ahh, you breathe in the delightful air of nature. Your name is Eirik Vold, you grew up in the frozen northlands and moved to the south to live a warmer, more comfortable life. You're a stout, strong and capable man who could probably take on several wolves and live to tell of it.

You've come to a clearing. To the south is a way to unknown lands and to the east is a river, to the north there are many berry-bushes that are quite delicious.

^clearing^

^south^

^east^

Being a stallion of a man, you build yourself a shelter and construct a small farm in two days. You can now eat anytime you want, being so cool and tough.


Well, you could do whatever you want at this point. You could just give maximum care about making a nice little house and have a nice little farm and instead go wrestle bears or smash ladies violently in their throats. You have discovered that to the south lies a small town, you could perhaps hunt animals and sell them for monies, you could pretty much check out the town and see what it offers, mabby you could buy some slaves, some cool armor, guards, who knows.

wat do

This is your humble abode.

'Tis a dark midsummer night and for some reason,


You decide to wake from your "eternal" slumber.


You remember not who you are, or who your mother is, and you do not have a clue about the contents of your castle.


Firstly, you may wish to give yourself a snappy name, considering you do not have one.

WHAT BE THY NAME, OH LORD OF DARKNESS?

And what will you do? My advice is try to find a library to study your surroundings and understand what exists around your home.

Or you could just run through your castle gate completely naked and terrorize the closest village.

Also, LoL.

So, yeah. Armed Assault(Arma, go figure.) 1 was pretty sad game, now Arma 2 is out.

Arma 1 showed a lot of promise, and it did have a lot of potential, but it's not exactly a smooth game in the sense that it is playable, some of the missions require you to have the iq of all people combined, or an incredible amount of luck, like me. I made it through a lot of the missions that I now simply cannot do.

I wonder if Arma 2 is better, though it would be hard to do worse than Arma 1.

Anyone getting it?

I am.

Here's the official website.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNV8UbzA9UM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNV8UbzA9UM</a>

Looks like the shakycam could get you sick.

Well, I am optimistic about this game, because it's been quite some time since I've cared about a new game coming out.

You are a fly.

Your function in life is to spread pestilence and disease, in fact, you are currently the carrier of a ... deadly virus.

Your task is to spread this disease and kill or harm or affect as many two-legged people as possible. But of course, you may choose to do something else.


So, where will you fly?

..hurr.

I bring you, the Parc.

Here is an illustration of what a male and female Parc creature looks like.

Every Parc is born with wings, which they cannot use, because they do not have any usable muscles in the wings, they just are there. They also have an almost infinite supply of snot, as clearly shown at the tip of the Parc's nose standing in the middle of the picture. There are debates on how the Parc produce their snot, but some researchers have observed Parc communities and groups consume their own, and other's snot. It is perhaps stored in the stomach of the Parc, and then ejected through the nostril, rinse, repeat.
There are other theories, for example that they produce snot in the same way that other creatures sweat.
The snot is considered a male Parc's manhood, the more you snot, the more prestige you have as a male. The leader of the Parc is appointed through a snot competition, where the male Parc who manages to fill five pints of snot, and then consume it, wins.

A Parc lives out his/her life for 25 human years.
When a Parc has lived for around 20 to 25(or more, but that is very rare), the Parc has a seizure, and experiences violent spasms. After two days explosive diarrhea and throwing up, the Parc dies from asphyxia(there are some rare cases where the Parc manages to twitch around so much as to drown in his/her own feces, but this is very rare.


This is the Parc's homeworld, Parcea. Lacking any technology to traverse the universe, the Parc have been on their planet forever. The planet surface is very sticky (possibly due to the amount of snot produced.). there was pure water before the Parc evolved into what they are now, but over time as they existed, the water on Parcea turned into snot itself. Currency on Parcea is water, which is very rare to find.

This,

is the god of the Parc.
He is the divine entity, who the Parc worship nonstop. There is only one religion on Parcea, and that is this deity. His name is Parcsus. Legend has it that long ago, a Parc was born, this Parc was different from all the other Parc. He did not produce any snot. Since this was the only special thing about him, all the other Parc worshipped him with overzealousness, and wiped out all the other species on the planet who did not give up their own religion in service of Parcsus.
In fact, all the other species on Parcea were very intelligent, they were near reaching the space age. but the constant snotting by the Parc race ensured that they all perished.
The parc do not need to drink water to live, they get nutrition from their snot, and other bodily fluids.


Yeah.

so, i've been wondering if i can or cannot leave the ufo.

if i can't i'll be mighty piss'd.

pl0x clarify.

for those who have played it, i want to know if i've been screwed over for waiting four years or if i should be running to my local gameshop.