Gaming Steve Message Board

Will Wright's Spore => Spore: Creation Corner => Topic started by: Crazen on April 02, 2007, 08:58:01 pm

Title: graid
Post by: Crazen on April 02, 2007, 08:58:01 pm
Graidient

graid:
population: 59 million
(http://i39.tinypic.com/2a4wfwo.png)

(Section 1 -- Biology)
Type: Terrestrial
Appearance: Insectoid Reptomammal
Gravity preferences: low
Temperature pref: warm
Atmosphere breathed: Nitrogen, sulfur (trace amounts)
Body cover: Thick skin, hard shelled
Body color: gray, brown, white, black, blue, yellow
Hair: varies
Hair color: black, grey, white, orange, yellow, dark green
Eyes: two, small
Eyes color: varies
Body characteristics: Antennae, Nippers (crab claws), Hooves
Diet : Omnivore
Sexual reproduction: asexual, extremely slow
Reproduction method: larvae-like fetuses expel from body periodicaly
Limbs pair n° 1: arms
Limbs pair n° 2: legs
Limbs pair n° 3: legs
Mass:  900- 3500 pounds
Size:   5-14 feet

(Section 2 -- Culture)
Attributes:
  Militancy: 2
  Determination: 16
  Racial tolerance: 19
  Progressiveness: 9
  Loyalty: 8
  Social cohesion: 11
  Art: 21
  Individualism: 20
  Body : 32
 Mind: ∞
  Speed: 18
  Lifespan: ∞
  Tech level: 7.5

(Section 3 -- Government and Religion)
Government type: anarchy (nuinngual, Iberaina, ahauluta) Aristocracy (Coessus, Recheviosk), Democracy (Terco) Theocracy (Uthumusad), Autocracy (Alatolm) Meritocracy (Pachete, Salom) Nomocracy (Ashad) monarchy (Grealtr)
Religions: Oclus, speakers of the earthsky(shamanism), many others
Devotion:

(Section 4 -- Extra things you should know)
Special abilities:

Bonus Skill: Musicianship
Acute Hearing
Ambidextrous
Eidetic memory
does not sleep
Microscopic Sense
No Sense of smell
Perfect balance
Poor Vision
Sound Sensitivity (extreme)
Toughness

planet sheet

(Section 1 -- System)
Star: ocuhlus
Star Type: white-yellow, moderately small
Planet #1: fuiesus (a smoggy terrestrial planet; a cold venus)
Planet #2: korris (a dead rock. minded for metal to avoid damaging Earthsky)
Planet #3: candechusta (a brown gas giant)
planet #5: Earthsky (homeworld)
planet 4-22: lots of other stuff

(Section 2 -- Terrain and Atmosphere)
Size: 0.8
Gravity: 0.6g
Average Temperature: 65F-65C
Liquid: underground sulfur-water lakes across much of the planet. Water on surface evaporates, but freezes at poles.
Land-Liquid Ratio: 53% Oceans, 92% Land
Average Terrain: craggy, rocky; highlands, plains, desert, savanna, mountains, rivers,
Continents: one
Density: thin
Composition: Nitrogen, Sulfur Dioxide, Carbon Dioxide, Water Vapor, Methane, chlorine  
Length of Day: 8.5 days (204 hours)
Length of Year: 263 days (2241 earth days; six years)

(Section 3 -- Life)
Main Species: graidient (native), , Achara, Haesain
Native Animals: multitude of simple underwater creatures, a relatively small selection of highly advanced and specialized land creatures
Plants: shrub vegetation on land. Larger plants must connect to water source underground


(Section 4 -- Development)
Structures: networks of tunnels and open rooms carved into mountains and underground. Orbital launch cannons
Urban: 4% of planet
Spaceports: none in specific
Imports: novelty,
Exports: Music, stock animals, luxury goods, massive amounts of data
Capital: twelve different ones.

timeline
first age:
-Death of oclus
second age:

third age:
-Ashad center of world

fourth age:
- first speaker of Earthsky

fifth age:
-the epic of Alevian
-Coessus center of world

sixth age:
-war of Coessus and Salom

seventh age: Terco center of world
-reconstruction
-horde of Grealtr


Nations and people

neutral

Ahauluta: a remote and unarmed highland unimportant small villages. It wasn't a primary target, and the war ended before it could be burnt down.
Notable individuals: Alevian, Ithkibikis
Grealtr: far northern, and virtualy unknown at the time. They waited until after the war was over and all the airships were gone to start raiding the countryside.
Notable individuals: Rathaljiorm, Boralantus (SOES), Krahan

Coessus

Coessus: a city and nation Founded by cheahilist on the twin rivers of Massa. Eventually morphed into an orderly industrious land. Started the conflict with unprovoked attacks on Salom and Petchete, under the purported goal of spreading it’s prosperity.
Notable individuals: Cheahilist, Keataus, Nauphuskeh,  Karodech
Alatolm: the only state to join Coessus or even be given the offer. Likely because they had a neigh unbreakable fortress built into a mountain, a hundred cannons, and a pair of NICBM. A nation Built out of muscle and rock, it is now an ocean.
Notable individuals: Rahaun, Caadusni

Joint Clans

Salom: a large and relatively developed nation, it was the natural choice as the leader of the union. The conflict officially became a war with the summit of Salom. They, Ashad, Pachete, and Terco formed the initial members, with the rest following soon after.
Notable individuals: Sesemet, Quehesus, Tremesche
Ashad: the classic crag lands of Earthsky. sometimes erroneously called the birthplace of their kind. though now in it's twilight years, it still maintains the oldest existing civilizations on the world.
Notable individuals: Reatustra, Omathos (SOES), Enoch, Eulipheis
Iberaina: the forbidden tundra. The people here where hardly known until half a coessan fleet was brought down over the dessert.
Notable individuals: kerecheo, Bragelith
Terco: a warm, semi-tropical and fertile land arguably the most militarily powerful clan; the majority of the union’s Airships were constructed in Terco’s
Notable individuals: Rcalde, Woetacour Theave/Ochicic
Pachete: a land of thick hostile jungle. its people have thrived into a powerful-if technologically primitive- nation lasting for many a millennia with no outside interference. Hit first and hardest in the war.
Notable individuals: Zycophustalus (SOES), Ishikik (achara)
Uthumusad: The holiest city of Oclus, seeing as it was founded around it’s carcass.
Notable individuals: Kondaera, Saphente (SOES)
Recheviosk: unusual in that it is named for a person (it’s founder.), it is in fact a very traditional land of agricultural areas intermittent with centers of commerce.
Notable individuals: Rechevioska, Echazla, Castur
Nuinngual:  southern country of cool cracked plains and deep canyon rivers.  Very low population for it’s size, even by graid standards. Society consists of small but modern pockets of development.
Notable individuals: Chardineal, Drehnaitus, Acathistus,



Rcalde
-
previous names: none notable
title: The guide
born: Terco
status: "alive"
-
alignment: neutral Good
instrument: Harmonica

Rcalde is has been Alevians' *ahem* partner for over seven million years. they had a few setbacks, such as  Rcalde's brief stint in politics, Alevian leaving on a quests to satisfy his chronic hero syndrome, and Rcalde's tendency to be in the blast radius when explosive weapons are detonated, but have always pulled through together and made amends (which may or may not be accompanied with an enthusiastic duet of Freddie's Friends Will Be Friends)

Yes, Rcalde is a tough lad. he's been, in no particular order, and in addition to various explosions, stabbed repeatedly with a shiv, had several of his internal organs frozen solid, been electrocuted by a Schizophrenic Skyspeaker (guess who), blasted with napalm, hit a landmine, and drowned under an improvised ocean. he's been knocked down more times than he can count. (which doesn't even make sense when you have perfect memory), and somehow made it through alive. not unscathed though: by now, he's a horribly scared invalid, has lost most of his skin, and is unable to move unaided

equipped with a weapon similar to a Kama (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kama_(weapon)) and an inexplicably Spanish accent, Rcalde is a friendly and outgoing fellow with an odd sense of humor and a strangely endearing love of puns. more prone to resolving his problems with violence than his more reserved companion.



Bragalith
-
previous names: Jothum
title: Left Hand of Sesemet
born: Iberaina
status: dead; comfirmed
-
alignment: chaotic evil
Instrument: Cornett

a polarizing figure to say the least. at some point the man known as Jothum came across Sesemet the dreamer. somewhere along, this sustenance hunter of the Iberainian wilds turned into Sesemet's most brutal follower.

he had many rumors around him. said to be 8 meters tall, covered in green and yellow paint, and a cannibal. some said he was propaganda of Coessus to paint their enemies as savages: Sesemet and Echazla's reputations did not match, and Zyco's existence was classified, so they invented him as a characterization.
however, he was real, and while not all the rumors about him where true, he was far from noble and refined.
his motivation to appose Coessus stemmed from his natural disposition to oppose the Imperialism of Keataus and Caadusni (Alatolm's De facto leader) and desire to be no part of it. he also had no intrest in the join clans, being only loyal to Sesemet himself.

Keataus claims to have killed him personally. this is a highly contested and unlikely claim, as Keataus was not anywhere near the location at the time of Bragalith's ending.

favoring a nail gun and an assortment of halberds, Bragalith's arsenal aims to smash the target with metal instead of explosions. fire is fluff.
Title: Re: New Creature: <name in development>
Post by: Kcronos on April 03, 2007, 07:48:48 am
Wow, this is the best creature I've seen in a long time  ;)
Title: Re: New Creature: <name in development>
Post by: Aquadorean on April 03, 2007, 08:24:02 am
i dont know how to get pictures either or on my profile for that matter
 :-[
Title: Re: New Creature: <name in development>
Post by: Kcronos on April 03, 2007, 08:29:11 am
Tpe in picture hosting on Google, click on Image shack, upload your file, and copy the direct link into the [img] thing...
Title: Re: New Creature: <name in development>
Post by: operaghost21 on April 03, 2007, 11:18:21 am
i'm not gonna lie...this was a waste of my time
Title: Re: New Creature: graid
Post by: The_Kev on April 04, 2007, 06:19:20 am
Ok then, I'll wait for the picture.
Title: Re: New Creature: graid
Post by: operaghost21 on April 04, 2007, 12:17:00 pm
alright, like the basics so far

taking what they need...they sound like a bunch of jerks  :P
Title: Re: New Creature: graid
Post by: jov on April 05, 2007, 07:30:12 am
mercury in the bloodstream? metallic shell?

most likely implausible if you know basic chemistry.
Title: Re: New Creature: graid (please dont yell at me)
Post by: jov on April 05, 2007, 08:56:15 pm
the land of deep ocean dwelling arthopods, where the temperatures can be quite cold, use hemocyanin instead of hemoglobin. as do the freakish horseshoe crabs. interesting.

metals can get stored in tissues, i do not doubt that. but elements such as mercury are poisonous to the body when they are stored within. those fish who do store mercury in their tissues, they usually die from it. in fact, it's pretty much how people die from it as well.

now, let's assume you have a harsh environment where mercury is abundant. maybe the oil fields that occured in the ancient past on your planet now are burning away due to some volcanic or solar malady. the species that survive on this environment will probably not be eukaryotes. not for a long while, at least. and at that point the toxic fumes might have spent their resources, thus recleaning up the air.

i would caution on incorporating heavy metals in with your species. there is this whole false science about silicate life forms, which only encourages the desire to incorporate metals in a species. sure, deposits might form, but unless the creature has a way of removing them, they will most likely die from them. think marine iguanas, who "spit" excess sea salt out of their eyes. if they didn't, the salt would dry up their bodies and they would die. you could easily have a creature that creates metal plates for their back. but one that biologically forces metals out of their system would probably be in extreme agony at all times. a metal shell is probably a better advanced technology than a naturally occuring one, while a carapace made from calcium is more likely. then again, that's assuming the planet works like earth. so take this all with a grain of salt (sorry, couldn't resist).



now, i do like your hive mind idea. social insects are an abberation, even amongst the family clade they belong to. termite, bee, wasp, and ant species that do use hive structures, pale in comparison to the number of species of wasps and ants that aren't social. so it's rare to think of that idea re-occuring. yet it has such an advantage to the, typically small, insects. working communally produces huge rewards. in fact, the hive mind species seem more prolific because they are working socially. this occurs in cnidarians, like jellyfish, where one being is probably made up of an army of single celled beings, and together they are more effective at finding food to all stay alive. even we humans work in a hive mind sort of way; there are doctors, janitors, truck drivers, steel workers, coal miners, policemen, and what all have you. supposedly they all work together for a common goal.

i totally dig that idea. i was just offering you thoughts as to why incorporating metals might not be such a good idea. but i tend to get rambly, which people consture as aggressive. sorry, if it comes across that way.
Title: Re: New Creature: graid (removed the rip-off. happy now?)
Post by: Ichthyostega on April 08, 2007, 07:42:49 pm
You upload your images to a site called www.imageshack.com. Once you've uploaded them you are given a code. Copy and paste this code into your post. It's easy.
Title: Re: New Creature: graid (removed the rip-off. happy now?)
Post by: Malt on April 08, 2007, 07:47:08 pm
NO DO NOT USE IMAGESHACK! Unless of course, your race is an orange tree frog.

Go get a free Photobucket.com account.
Title: Re: New Creature: graid
Post by: Kcronos on April 08, 2007, 08:08:38 pm
Go to someone or somewhere where there is a scanner.  Scan the image, save it to a memory stick, and transfer it to your computer.  Or just buy a scanner and get MPE if you have the money...
Title: Re: New Creature: graid
Post by: Kcronos on April 10, 2007, 08:01:00 pm
A scanner.  A library or something should have one.
Title: Re: New Creature: graid
Post by: GCool on April 12, 2007, 02:41:18 am
It's like a printer, in reverse.
Title: Re: New Creature: graid
Post by: Dr. Croccer on April 29, 2007, 10:16:40 am
important individuals: Subterranean: massive underground creature. the controller of the graid


apearance of the fully developed graid would look somewhat like a scorpion crossed with something in the mantis family (though unrelated)

.......and Im gonna RP with these guys. then I can get on with my life.

Also, this is very ironic, cause I was just complaining about too many bugs. I have, however, moved away from swarming, and dicided on individualy powerfull Chelicerata.

I have a scanner, so I will post my picture soon. not shure how to desighn the head (please give ideas).

Something Insect-like, with faceteyes and stuff.
Title: Re: New Creature: graid
Post by: microgta on May 21, 2007, 03:45:25 pm
Great creature. //I hear an alliance forming between you and me.//
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: nurizeko on November 28, 2007, 08:21:42 am
Mountains are kind of huge slabs of rock that have been buckled by plate tectonics and pushed upwards, and eroded over time to form the distinctive mountain appearance.

If your talking about small ridges you coulda just said small ridges.

A psuedo mountain is a hill.


Interesting creature.

Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Yuu on November 29, 2007, 06:13:29 am
Do you have a pic of it? :)

Interesting planet by the way. How did the planet gain these ridges? Is the planet's core still active?
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Somarinoa on November 29, 2007, 06:05:21 pm
Interesting species. You should do some more artwork for it...maybe a closeup of their faces, or an overview of their planet? Or even the general differences between the subspecies.
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Somarinoa on November 29, 2007, 06:38:50 pm
If the planet would appear to be a single color from space, I could quickly try to conjure you up one out of my GIMPing skills. Here's an example of one of my own planets, Hydroth.
http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/spore/images/4/42/Hydroth.JPG (http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/spore/images/4/42/Hydroth.JPG)
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Yuu on November 29, 2007, 06:44:01 pm
I like the different sexes. Such an ability would really increase a race's overall survivability.

And oh yeah, interactions between the subspecies would be great.

PS. Nice one Somarinoa! ;)
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Yuu on November 29, 2007, 07:29:31 pm
Poison jets? Just like Bulbasoar's but poisonous.

[edit]Sorry, I what I meant was Squirtle.[/edit]
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Yuu on November 29, 2007, 08:59:15 pm
Maybe large nail-like spikes that are launched by a spring mechanism. :)
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: emmet on November 30, 2007, 04:01:16 am
Cleavage?! Where?
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Crazen on November 30, 2007, 05:06:35 pm
Alwayswatching seems to have some unusual fetish for rocks
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: emmet on December 01, 2007, 01:51:04 am
>.> (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cleavage)
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: operaghost21 on December 01, 2007, 12:28:02 pm
*immature giggle*
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Neoskel on December 17, 2007, 02:45:33 am
Here, hows this for a picture?

(http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff19/Neoskel/Graid.jpg)

I hope i didn't get anything too wrong, i added in the antennae to the head cuz all your inspirations have antennae, so i figured it would fit.  :)

And yes, this is only based on your first post, i didn't actually read the rest first.  :P
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Neoskel on December 17, 2007, 11:36:56 am
How bout the jagged get sledgehammers inside their claws, kinda like a mantis shrimp?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantis_shrimp
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Crazen on December 17, 2007, 03:51:44 pm
Here, hows this for a picture?

{neoskel's image}


oi vey!
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Neoskel on December 17, 2007, 04:28:39 pm
Here, hows this for a picture?

{neoskel's image}


oi vey!

Thats a positive response right?
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Yuu on December 18, 2007, 04:56:14 am
That's one nice picture, Neoskel! :)
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Somarinoa on December 18, 2007, 05:14:54 am
That's one nice picture, Neoskel! :)
Agreed!
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: KingAcer on December 18, 2007, 10:31:20 am
Cool!  :D
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Draugr on January 04, 2008, 03:06:23 pm
Cool race! Reminds me off Dreughs from Elder Scrolls! :)
Title: Re: The Graid and their world. huge cleavage!
Post by: Crazen on January 05, 2008, 11:30:44 am
looked those up. I can see why one might notice them as being similar.
Title: Re: The Graid
Post by: KingAcer on February 02, 2008, 05:22:36 am
mantis!  :D
Title: Re: The Graid
Post by: Crazen on May 02, 2008, 10:16:12 pm
Quote
The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only the graid.
Olympic badminton rules say that the graid must have exactly fourteen feathers.
The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of the graid is blue!
The graid, from the movie of the same name, had green blood.
It takes a lobster approximately 7 years to grow to be the graid.
The graid were banned from Finland because of not wearing pants.
The deepest part of the graid is over 35,000 feet deep!
All shrimp are born as the graid, but gradually mature into females!
There are more than two hundred different kinds of graid!
It is impossible to fold the graid more than seven times.


wow... many of these match up.

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl?subject=the+graid&gender=p

It takes a lobster approximately 7 years to grow to be the graid.
All shrimp are born as the graid, but gradually mature into females!
Title: Re: The Graid
Post by: Neoskel on May 03, 2008, 02:15:57 am
Interesting how both shrimp and lobsters showed up, did you choose these in any way?
Title: Re: The Graid
Post by: smjjames on October 09, 2008, 10:20:27 pm
Just use 'c' to make a screenshot, upload it to some image hosting place (photobucket is the popular one around here, but use whatever you want) and link to it in your post.
Title: Re: The Graidient; (They arent bugs, so dont call them that!)
Post by: Crazen on March 19, 2009, 08:04:55 pm

a simple pic:

(http://i39.tinypic.com/2a4wfwo.png)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 02, 2009, 10:47:35 pm
Wanna come on down to the RP board, Crazen? :)

We could really use some more vets down there. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 02, 2009, 11:40:22 pm
they wont let me. not after the last time....
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 03, 2009, 01:38:54 am
Nah, everybody deserves a second chance.

Just be more careful this time. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: smjjames on April 03, 2009, 04:50:35 am
they wont let me. not after the last time....

What are you talking about?
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 03, 2009, 05:44:28 am
I can't remember exactly, but I think there was this one time that things got kinda iffy down there due to some RPers considering some of the Graid's actions as not that realistic.

It's pretty old history so I'm not sure if it's still in the first couple of pages.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: smjjames on April 03, 2009, 06:39:08 am
Well, a couple pages back is the NG and before that the OG. Since there are new and different players (some old ones are still around) this time around in the RG, so you're pretty much starting with a clean slate here.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 03, 2009, 09:10:24 pm
 ;D

I like it. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on May 22, 2009, 11:55:07 pm
wow. nobody called me out on biological imposiblilites this time.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on May 23, 2009, 12:15:14 am
Just curious, but how can the days be longer than the nights? ???

I've been thinking of how it could be done for a while now but I still can't figure out how. Am I missing something? :-\
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: madis on May 23, 2009, 01:47:03 am
Could be some large planet making it slower/faster at times when it passes?

Or perhaps a two star solar system? That could make for some weird day/night cycles.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on May 26, 2009, 09:47:47 pm
the same way it works here on earth. just with a larger shift.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on May 30, 2009, 07:57:38 pm
Hmm...

This "Cheahilist" person seems to be an interesting figure...
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: a14gt on May 30, 2009, 08:48:15 pm
I like the division within a species, are there anymore sub races?

@Yuu, having a day cycle with a short or extended period of night isn't very complicated, as stated it happens here on Earth due to the tilt in our axis. Normally the difference Isn't very noticeable but if you go to extreme poles you'll find night can last days or weeks during winter time as the pole will always be facing away from to sun. If you're unsure get a ball and pretend its Earth, find another object and make it the sun, tilt the ball and you'll seen that if you spin the ball on a tilted axis some parts will less exposed to"sunlight", some parts may not even face the "sun".  So it seems the Graid's planet has a tilted axis which may be more extreme then ours. Hope this helps.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on May 30, 2009, 09:03:10 pm
I see.

That helps a lot. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient (two new picks: the shallow; unshelled)
Post by: Yuu on May 30, 2009, 10:40:39 pm
They're surprisingly very cute! :3
Title: Re: The Graidient (two new picks: the shallow; unshelled)
Post by: Yuu on May 30, 2009, 11:06:02 pm
Long live the revolution!

Where's the shallow pic, though? o_O
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Spartan King 95 on June 08, 2009, 08:59:52 pm
I  liked the  previous stories, I can't wait for the story of keraeucheos.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Spartan King 95 on June 13, 2009, 10:15:54 am
Cool. He's my favorite.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on October 04, 2009, 12:44:29 am
Hmm, so I was right in my hunch...

Hope you do more of these guys, Crazen. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 07, 2009, 08:26:23 pm
more wildlife

khryloth:
(http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/6143/khryloth.png)
at around 2 meters tall, the Khryloth is a significan beast.
this creature need the small, sparse shrubs to supply nutrients unavalable to it naturaly. because it is unable to physicaly gather much of this, it has devised and interesting feeding method.
it decends into the subterainian realm. there, it gathers vast ammounts of cephlapod-like creatures. on the surface, it realeases the creatures onto the small shrubs. needing water and food, the creatures soon eat the plants. then the Khryloth eats them.


yes, all the animals so far (including the graid) are from the same class. hence the armor and the pair of tenticle-things they all have around their head. its a sensory organ, which allows them to detect organisms.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on October 07, 2009, 10:35:04 pm
Oh, I see, so that's why they all look similar.

I like these, especially the khryloth. :) It's interesting how they get their daily nutrient requirements by farming the cephlapod looking things. I guess they're pretty numerous for their size, seeing as they have a stable food supply, unlike others which have to hunt for their food.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 10, 2009, 12:02:41 am
here is an example of the subterrainial life:
braegchos
(http://img97.imageshack.us/img97/8215/crebregchos08f9cf38ful.png)
this creature is the master of exploiting the darkness of the depths. this beast strides tall across the murky underground. its huge abdomen is gorged full of decay. the braegchos will wander , while smaller creatures will nibble on its hanging abdomen, thinking it an easy meal. however, the abdomen is covered in a sticky, globulus substance. they will be stuck to the skin, and digested through it. this then adds to the stench of meat, attracting more creatures to their doom.

next i'll cover language and naming. but thats alot of work that will have little interest
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on October 10, 2009, 12:17:29 am
This guys really knows how to get food in the easiest ways possible.

I like their style! :D :)
Title: Re: The Graidient (the lobster poets)
Post by: Kitkat on November 09, 2009, 06:37:25 pm
eh?
Title: Re: The Graidient (the lobster poets)
Post by: Crazen on November 09, 2009, 07:24:50 pm
here:

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=tsingy
Title: Re: The Graidient (the lobster poets)
Post by: Kitkat on November 09, 2009, 07:40:21 pm
I thought you misspelled something.
Title: Re: The Graidient (the lobster poets)
Post by: Crazen on November 11, 2009, 03:46:21 pm
erasucus
(image removed, cause I replaced it)
cause I realized I needed a bad-guy

oh, and to match my current desighn, i'll go back and edit the stories to flow better and be relavent. for the two people who read them
Title: Re: The Graidient (the lobster poets)
Post by: Yuu on November 14, 2009, 12:20:00 am
I'll be watching how you introduce these villains.

I really hope some of them make their third arm into a projectile launcher. That would be awesome! 8)

Will be checkin' out the revised versions once they're done. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient (the lobster poets)
Post by: Crazen on November 14, 2009, 10:25:59 am
actualy, erasucus is an individual with the third limb, not a species.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 12, 2009, 12:18:32 am
a creature from the poles
Yrasslar
(http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/8650/creyrasslar094ce608ful.png)
the largest creature within the region (about the size of an apatosaurus) , the yrasslar has difficulty sustaining itself, especially in dark, cold areas of the planet where is lives. therefore, it relies on its weaker offspring to provide for it. the great beast itself mostly functions simply to make more underlings.

its brood:
(http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/5769/creysslarva094ce60aful.png)
for an offspring to grow into an adult, it would need to consume the mass of one, meaning new adults usually can only form when one dies.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 15, 2009, 05:07:08 pm
Nice. 8)

I like how the Acharah looks. It's like some convoluted offspring of a xenomorph.

I also like how you made the complete maturation of the Yrasslar juvenile to be possible only if an adult dies. It adds to the feeling of scarcity one finds in the dark side. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 15, 2009, 09:58:18 pm
back to underground creatures:

Bruach
(http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/9665/creheujach0951f29cful.png)
a small, unintelligent bottom-feeder of the underground.

(wow. second non-hunter in a row. I realized there was a rather large imbalance.)

Ezaluthm
(http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/4797/creezaluthm0951f29dful.png)\
a larger relative of the ezgul, that is known to travel even to the sunless side.

(by the way, genes operate at a much more on the physical outside form than the details and innards. thats why creatures can be related but have such radically different body shapes. they change quite greatly externally, but remain roughly the same animal)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 16, 2009, 09:37:29 pm
I see.

Kinda like the more simple creatures in our planet's oceans. :)

I was also kinda wondering about that a bit. Thanks for clearing that up. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 19, 2009, 09:43:45 pm
alright. I'm going make an RP featuring these guys (in the future, when they have space travel); a short introduction one.

would any (thats directed at others, not reading this, cause only two people look at this thread) of you  actually bother with it? probably not. so ill leave once it fails. unless it doesn't
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 19, 2009, 10:03:31 pm
Cool.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: SimplyNecro on December 19, 2009, 10:06:06 pm
I would join it... with your approval of course
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 19, 2009, 11:10:45 pm
I would just love that.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 21, 2009, 08:19:09 pm
I like these ships.

They have a very "function over form" feel to them. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 22, 2009, 12:08:38 am
im actualy trying to go in the other direction. the graid have a very unusual idea of what represents beauty. their ship desighns are almost entirely built on style (at least the more important ships). the euphony even means, roughly, "poetic beauty" .

the ships only gray because their made of metal, and the graid lack a way to make them colorfull. the graid also have a limited vision of the color spectrum anyway.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 22, 2009, 02:30:35 am
I see.

Oh, any chance some Graid are interested in getting some VA technology once the fighting is over?



Fighters that can transform into giant robotic Rhinoceros-Beetle hybrids.

Priceless. 8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 24, 2009, 12:36:41 am
Sweet lemons in a pie! That is some awesome stuff ya got there, Crazen! ;D 8)

Especially the Cacophany! Epic naming system, to say the least. ;)


However, I'm gonna be a bit nitpicky about a certain ship, if that's okay with you... :-\

The "Monitor's" shells seems like it would arc towards the enemy instead of flying at it in a straight line. Is that intentional? ???


But aside from that, a pretty fine fleet. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 24, 2009, 12:43:02 am
I actually thought the same thing.

it's in space, so their is no right side up. the ship is tilted so the cannon is simply aimed straight at the target.



but yea, I kinda have a poetry and linquistics them going on.

next i'll add their (eventual*) governenment setup.



*I have two time-lines I have to keep track of!
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 24, 2009, 12:52:46 am
I have two time-lines I have to keep track of!

I can totally relate to that. :)

Take your time! :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 27, 2009, 01:20:58 am
a bit on biology, while im at it. i'll add a proper tree (with picture) once im able to make one.


phylum priscus-repere, ancient crawler
the oldest  living catagory. early forms predominantly lived in underground pools. they tended to be truly soft and fleshy masses, with only hardened teeth and weapons. nutrients are often 'diffused' by these creatures, though not literaly taken through the cells.

-class nox-noctis-repere, night crawler (I laughed when I realized this)
mostly polar creatures, now that they have been out-competed. though lacking in armor, they have thick skin to compensate, and tight 'muscle' fibers to allow existence out of water.
 
-class loricatus-repere, armored crawler
an alternative to improving the basic body, these creatures developed a shell to counteract the higher effect gravity has on creatures on land. the bruach is an example of this group.

phylum vacuus-loricatus, empty armor
these creatures are not simply covered by a shell; their entire body is one (metalic, as well as leathery) save their central organs. in they currently domminate the planet. the graid are amongst this group. instead of a cirrculatory system running through the body, the main organs (packed tightly deep within brings the nutrition to it, with a system of cilla-like internal limbs. the outer body functions on mostly a mechanical level. they have difficulty sustaining living in cold environments (its not that they feel cold, its just their limbs freeze in place. yes, like the tin man)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 27, 2009, 01:59:49 am
Interesting.

So, it's possible for the Gradients to be immobilized using pressurized gas dispensers ala ice beam or fire extinguisher?

Have the future Gradients developed a way to circumvent this? Powersuits, perhaps? ???
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 27, 2009, 10:33:35 pm
yes, thats the vulnerability of having a non-biological body, with no internal heat source for it.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 28, 2009, 01:56:48 am
Then it's decided!

The creation of post-contact Gradient-compatible exo-suits are in order! :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 29, 2009, 02:45:01 pm
The Graidient Senatorial

a diplomatic, balanced system:

5 high senators; 3 are allways from each of the main graid subraces, the other two are variable
16 greater senators
59 lesser senators

consulates representatives of the people
magistrates captains and lords who carry out objectives and assignments from the senators
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 29, 2009, 08:54:54 pm
It's nice to know some more info about their government. :)

Though, I have to wonder... How does the senate deal with the imbalance in the ratio of subspecies (2:2:1) in the high senate?
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 29, 2009, 10:11:23 pm
Oh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 30, 2009, 01:45:25 am
let me rephrase how genetics work:

the armored creatures on the planet have very similar internal structure. changes in their gene coding cause them to construct radically different bodies around them after birth, while the internal structure remain the same.  therefore, it would be nearly impossible to determine what creature a newborn was, before it grew it's body.

its comparable to wearing different clothes (of course, they cant change them or take them off)

the unarmored beast, however, are destinct biologicaly, meaning the graid and the spider-like brauch are closer related than two nearly identical worm like creatures.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 30, 2009, 07:51:47 pm
Ah, so it's like how embryos can't be visually tested to determine their genders? :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 30, 2009, 10:16:51 pm
yes; and their inner bodies basically are embryos that never need to grow up, do to the powerfull suite of armor that grows around it.

 I updated the species pics, especially the shallow, who I still can't seem to get exactly right.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on January 08, 2010, 07:14:54 pm
Are those included in the Combine War RP?

Cause they sure as heck should be! 8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on January 09, 2010, 11:28:11 pm
numbers:
(http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/5996/symb.png)
   1     2        3          4           8          12

the graid use a 4-based counting system. each crossing line represents one, and dots represent 4

planet sheet

(Section 1 -- System)
Star: ocuhlus (due to its resemblance to an eye)
Star Type: white-yellow, moderately small
Planet #1: fumidusus (a smoggy terrestrial planet; a cold venus)
Planet #2: korris (a dead rock)
Planet #3 candechusta (a brown gas giant)

(Section 2 -- Terrain and Atmosphere)
Size: 4.2
Gravity: 3g
Average Temperature: hot (very cold at poles)
Liquid: underground sulfur-water lakes across much of the planet. Water on surface evaporates, but freezes at poles.
Land-Liquid Ratio: 73% Oceans, 94% Land
Average Terrain: craggy, rocky
Continents: one
Density: thin
Composition: Nitrogen, Sulfur Dioxide, Carbon Dioxide, Water Vapor Methane,  
Length of Day: 204
Length of Year: (2241

(Section 3 -- Life)
Main Species: graidient (native)
Native Animals: multitude of simple underwater creatures, a relatively small selection of highly advanced and specialized land creatures
Plants: sparse, shrub vegetation on land. Larger plants must connect to water source underground


(Section 4 -- Development)
Structures: networks of tunnels and open rooms carved into mountains and underground.
% Urban: 4% of planet
Spaceports: none in specific
Imports: space craft technology
Exports: grafting-based weapons and armor, hardy stock animals
Capital: coessus (the meeting place for the senatorial)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on January 17, 2010, 11:19:17 pm
reorganised almost everything into the first post whew
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on January 18, 2010, 09:23:44 pm
I have decided to dramatically shift my design, and have make the graid humanoid:

(http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/7550/humanoidgraidient.png)



















bwahahaha! I hope you didn't fall for that. that would be incredibly stupid and boring.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on January 19, 2010, 01:33:13 am
That me laugh! :D :D
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: gec05 on January 23, 2010, 10:28:57 pm
I'm proud of you Crazen. You have stuck it out here, with little attention from anyone else.

I think people should check out your creatures more often.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on January 23, 2010, 10:50:26 pm
Indeed. These guys rock! 8)


Just like their creator! :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on February 12, 2010, 12:20:16 pm
numbers:
(http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/5996/symb.png)
   1     2       3          4           8          12

writing:
the writing of the graid, being invented by the blind Ker, was not desighned to be read outloud. it exists in writing only, and cannot be directly translated into a spoken language
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on February 21, 2010, 01:55:44 pm
diet

The graid are omnivourous, as they can feed on the plants of the world for nutrition (this became practical after cultivation methods where discovered). normaly, they eat mostly meat. their family group has the destinction of not having to slowly pry open prey to get to the edible parts inside. they can eat the armor whole, where it is slowly disintergrated inside them over the course of several days. It allows them to eat their food quickly without having to stay in one spot.
 
however, this has the side affect of causing the meat to rot. not a health concern for the graid, but the smell of rotting corpses is constantly radiating from their body cavity. fourtunatly, the graid and almost all species on their planet cannot smell.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on March 16, 2010, 09:33:10 pm
communication:

the main two methods of communication in graid (besides actualy just talking) are elegant duels, and poetry.

it is not as barbaric as it sounds to use fighting in everyday communication. in the fights, their are no rules exept that their can be no unatural weapons. these fights are never fatal. they dont hold back, it's just rather hard to kill a graid, due to the fact that their is no obvious vital point (the head is not required for life, as the nervous system is decentralized), and that their organs are protected by seven inches of armor. usualy after one graid is crippled and can no longer move, the fight is over, and the winner helps to fix the loser.

as for poetry, the graid poetry would be found quite bland to people. it uses an unusall style, is mostly mundane, and is very long (many can take days to recite). after they are given, the peom is never used again.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on March 17, 2010, 06:59:45 am
Man, this really reminds me of the good old days, dueling with your rivals and generally enjoying the spirit of the fight. :)

Also, more reasons why the *Luzonians would absolutely love the Graidient! A Gradient's everyday life would be a Luzonian's wet dream! ;D

Anyways, these little tidbits of information, though at first may seem pretty standard, are actually quite fascinating, allowing us to see the effects immortality has on culture and society.


*Sorry for the plug. Totally not my intention.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on March 17, 2010, 07:21:46 pm
Crazen, I think you misspelled tenets.

Anyways, I would really like to have a more comprehensive reading of these tenets. Both out of interest, and to get some additional opinions regarding the functioning of a society not bound by *deadlines.


*Pardon the pun.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 11, 2010, 10:43:08 pm
the companion of Alheivaeus, Ricalde, (full name Riacalde-ahilarcneantiuskaedneravilo)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 23, 2010, 04:15:39 pm
bone/muscle structure:

the graid (as with all life on their world) have no bones. some do have some teeth though.

 their joints and movements funtion with pully-like strings of muscles (if you know basic physics, you know a pully is more efficient than a direct movement) more effiecient . their jaw is weak both closing and opening, so they cant bite or chew very hard.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 24, 2010, 02:12:17 pm
oh, by the way.

cheah is Che.

(http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/6796/lobsterche.png)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 25, 2010, 07:12:48 am
Ha.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on April 25, 2010, 09:13:09 am
???
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 25, 2010, 11:01:06 am
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Che_Guevara


cheahilist is also a communist-esque revolutionair, and he's from a place that looks like Argentina. the name similarity is a coincidence.


I may as well say now that keraeucheos is pretty much Socrates
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on April 25, 2010, 12:16:05 pm
I know who Che Guvera is, I've seen enough of those horrif t-shirts on campus. I was asking about the strain of the conversation; its rather hard to follow on a celluar telephone.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Kitkat on April 25, 2010, 12:22:51 pm
I just noticed, do you not have a computer?
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on April 25, 2010, 12:43:08 pm
I do, but on the weekends my Blur is my primary Media Interpretation Device.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on August 17, 2010, 06:59:24 pm
prepairing for the end

the graid know that eventually (they have already calculated the date) their star will die and their planet will become inhospitable. some advocate defence against this, to preserve the fragile life on their world. on the other end, many suggest all graid return to their home planet and die with it, because that seems more proper and symbolic.

they came to the conclusion that they would opt for voluntary extinction, in the name of poetic justice.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on August 17, 2010, 07:01:12 pm
Mass Seppeku. Nice. 8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on August 18, 2010, 06:23:23 am
poetic justice.

Is there ever any other kind of justice?  8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on August 27, 2010, 12:00:46 am
(http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/3476/graidflagship.png)
tiney image of a graid flagship (I don't know why they dont let you take bigger pictures). meant for ship-to-ship combat. smashes frontal targets with enourmous cannons.


random tibit on communication.
when a graid is calm and rational, it's voice reflects as such: is clean and melodic, pleasing to the ear and could be considered beautifull (euphony). still, dont ask it to sing. they only play instruments.

when a graid is agitated, it sounds gutteral and stuttering (cacophony).
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on August 27, 2010, 03:55:22 pm


in warfare, a graidient fleet or army is expected to sustain no losses exept in unforseen circumstance. of course, any graid in a commanding position is expected to have spent the last ten years analysing every event that could possibly happen.

aging: though graid are biologicaly immortal, their minds will still become less functional overtime. millions of years of experience, coupled with photographic memory, tends to wear away a graid's mental proccesses. at around 11 million years, this would have a significant impact.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on August 27, 2010, 11:23:22 pm
Halfway til it's time to enter the shell!  8)


Kudos to those who got the reference.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on August 29, 2010, 02:14:55 pm
graid guns don't pull any punches:

an advanced graidient rifle (weighing 105 pounds) is attached to two nerve strings in a graid's pincer.
           despite poor eyesight (this can be remedied with technology) a trained marksman can shoot an accurate shot from the hip up to 150 yards away, and snipe a target from anywere within line of sight.

no tiny, clean bullets either. they have to much free time to be content with the mundane.
 a graid sniper shell weighs more than a pound, alone being able to make a 6 inch hole in most targets heads. then the bullet fragmentates into pieces, that then each explode in a firebomb upon hitting a secondary target, and a set of electric spines burst forth from that and embed themselves into targets and electrocute them until their insides are chared black.

graid don't believe in overkill.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: SimplyNecro on August 29, 2010, 02:16:15 pm
graid don't believe in overkill.

Theres no better type of kill...
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on August 31, 2010, 07:18:18 pm
-awesomeness-


DEAR GAW-


Just goes to show you what an infinite amount of free time can do to weapons technology.  8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on August 31, 2010, 07:48:24 pm
A battalion on a hill could do more damage than a death camp in minutes.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on August 31, 2010, 11:54:50 pm
the explosion can also be delayed. a malicious user of their weapons could would a soldier then detonate when allies (or worse, medical teams) approached to help.

 so its lucky that the graid don't believe in killing rational beings.



each graid can carry up to four weapons (dual wielding is for nancy-boys) on its person, two in each hand, attached to each of the four nerve strings. certain weapons (such as the aformentioned rifle) take up two slots due to their operation, such as reloading and adjusting. most graid use a combination of weapons in combat, though some use just one kind (i.e. four shotguns)

they are still working on a way to enhance their nerve strings to accomidate more weapons (their hoping for 6 slots in each hand)



some on subspecies:

the graid subspecies are not really separate breads. the kind of graid is determined by the diet of the growing fetus and the pressure from the ground around it. so a graid burried deep down under heavy stone will be much larger than graid born in light topsoil, or water. pure examples displaying all the traits of one breed are rare.

Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 01, 2010, 11:49:54 pm
When your guys' nervous systems are analogous to mechs, weapon slots and all, you know you're on the right track!  8)


the kind of graid is determined by the diet of the growing fetus and the pressure from the ground around it.

Kinda like that royal jelly thing with some hive insects, which is a pretty fascinating system, by the way.

It's even the basis of some intra-colony wars, IIRC.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 02, 2010, 02:12:24 pm
there has only ever been one war in known graid history.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on September 02, 2010, 02:53:53 pm
I smell update. :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 03, 2010, 10:29:56 pm
Tibit on vehicles:

graid would have little use for wheels or ground vehicles, seeing as they would have to pass through a rocky terrain or mountains regularly. their first vehicles were dirigibles, which still see use in the modern era.

more later, when I get the time.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 04, 2010, 07:22:55 pm
there are currently 609 graid who have killed another graid. 604 have been apprehended (graid don't use prisons. they just detach your hands from the rest of your body.) five are unaccounted for.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on September 04, 2010, 07:24:16 pm
Wouldn't they just slowly starve to death.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 04, 2010, 08:59:05 pm
Why?

They can just eat using their mouths, after all.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on September 04, 2010, 09:55:45 pm
Not much of a punishment then.

"No prisons, we just cut suckers arms off."
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 05, 2010, 12:15:34 am
Ever tried living for practically an eternity, as a limbless stump?
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on September 05, 2010, 08:53:51 am
Not to mention being armless would be a huge "I'm a convicted murdurer" T-shirt. Damn. No wonder they only have less than 700 felons alive.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 05, 2010, 11:04:53 pm
its not a punishment. just prevention of future murders.
and they usually just sever the nerves to the arm. actualy worse than removing them, because now you have 100 pounds of dead weight. only in a few cases have the arms or hands actually been removed.



the graid have two moons.

one is euphony. the graid decided they didn't want to completely go extinct (see a couple pages ago) and lose all the knowledge they had, so they terraformed one moon (the closer one) into a environmental duplicate of their own world, complete with flora and fauna.

the other is cacophony. it is an iron fortress, supporting 85% of their factories and deffences
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 06, 2010, 03:11:08 am
A schism is brewing, I gather?  8)


Between the pro- and anti-suicides, I mean.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 06, 2010, 08:19:47 am
no
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 06, 2010, 03:49:35 pm
tibit: language

their written language was first transribed by keraeucheo, and has had few changes to the basic system. because Ker did not yet know how to speak at the time (many graid go years without meeting other graid. in Ker's case, his sensitivity  made it painfull to be near others.)it cannot be read outloud.
it can only communicates feelings and ideas.

it is also maliable. new symbols are frequently invented and conbined in different ways to form new meanings
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 07, 2010, 05:33:38 am
Leave it to these guys to make even something as mundane as glyphs a very distinct genre of art!  8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 10, 2010, 11:29:50 pm
the graid have constructed not one, but two super-capital class ships:
most fastidious of orators, and   lesser known consonance of silence



Achara

(http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/9773/achara.png)
it has evolved to be a more active hunter, losing its slower, catterpillar desighn, its hands became legs. extremly succesfull.

can be tamed with effort: Graid's best friend. it will still bite on occasion.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 11, 2010, 08:57:31 am
the graid have constructed not one, but two super-capital class ships:
most fastidious of orators, and  lesser known consonance of silence


Awesome names are awesome.  8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 14, 2010, 11:13:29 pm
here, I will explain, in detail, graid body-language

showing...
agreement: a slight nod
appreciation: a slight nod
joyfullness: a slight nod
laughter: a slight nod
content: a slight nod
respect: a slight nod
annoyment: bashing the source of annoyment repeatedly on the head.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 18, 2010, 02:34:17 am
the graid might seem overpowered, though really, they arent. they are as strong as they need to be for their world and their world is tough. they arent based on the scale of foreighn creatures, because those arent what shaped them.
but here is a list of their weaknesses to counter their many advantages.
- no sense of smell/taste
- sensitivity to cold
- inability to jump
- limited diet
- red/green colorblind
- high likelyhood of eventual madness
- low population, extremely low birthrate (0.001 per year, roughly)
- needs low gravity
- slow healing


well, now that thats done, here is another strength:
graid intelligence increases expotentialy. they start out with only animalistic inteligence that will grow with age and experience. the highest IQ reached (Keraechous) was over 9000. the smartest animal in their world is the Achara, with an estimated IQ of 105.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 20, 2010, 11:57:59 pm
Awesomeness.

Gives a whole new meaning to the wisdom of the elders...



Oh, and...

showing...
agreement: a slight nod
appreciation: a slight nod
joyfullness: a slight nod
laughter: a slight nod
content: a slight nod
respect: a slight nod
annoyment: bashing the source of annoyment repeatedly on the head.

I Imagine ambassadors would have some pretty awkward times communicating with the more, let's say "fleshy" creatures in the galaxy, and vice versa.  ;D
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 22, 2010, 09:30:31 pm
yup.  being hit by a graid is like having a 200 pound block of concrete slam  into your head. enough to knock down a graid with his guard down.

 for less physicaly inclinded races (and really their are only a couple here in the same league of strength as a graid*.) this might shatter their skull (graid dont have bones, so no issue for them). the graid in question would take no responsibilty. it was an accident of ignorance

(http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/5488/rockyx.png)

you should have told him how much force he could exert on your spine without snapping  it. better yet. just listen to him. he is probably your senior by a few dozen thousand years, so he probably knows what he's saying.

*because they weigh up to a ton, are covered in most places by 6-9 inches of armor, have claws big enough to be clubs, and can be as tall as a horse with a rider and twice as wide. they can gallop half as fast as a horse, much faster than most bipeds. also, most have spent more time fighting than you have been alive. so you cant win a fight with one.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 22, 2010, 11:07:35 pm
Man, I cracked up when I scrolled down to see that pic of Ivan!   ;D :D




Good thing everyone's wearing a suit of armor during international conferences, right?


Right?  ;)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Gnoll on September 23, 2010, 02:54:53 pm
Ah... I'm sensing something here. It takes 700 PSI to snap a Pentekonterus' spine at its weakest point. I imagine if the Graidient can pull off some suspiciously specific denial of being arthropods, they and the Peks could be vitrolic best buds.
"And then I said, 'not if I eat your legs first!' Oh, man, those were the days."
"Yeah, but I could still crush you."
"You wanna bet, longlegs?"
"Try me, scalekind!"
"..."
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Just like old times, eh chap?"
"Yeah..."
"-urk!"
"What's wrong? Oh. You died. Oh, well. Don't worry, I'll speak well of you to your daughter."

And so went that conversation between an aging Pentekonterus and an elder Graidient.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on September 23, 2010, 03:15:42 pm
Guy love! Love between guys!


We could SO do a sitcom RP in this universe.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on September 23, 2010, 10:49:26 pm
ah, I remember those non-cannon rps. they where fun. too bad only about two of them actually when anywere.
anyway, here is a simple bitmap of their world (because I hate using fancy art to show precise thing):
the grey area is polar (north is larger than south)
the rectanges are moutains
pink(it stands out best) are gathering spots and population centers. the large one is the senatorial capital
the bluish areas are water. it is a modern postwar map, so it includes the sea*
(http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/1432/shale.png)

devision of labor:
population: 59 million
agriculture: 21%
livestock: 3%
manufacturing: 5%
scientific development: 7%
manual labor: 15%
full-time artist: 8%
mining: 4%
security: 2%
government: 1%
scribe: 2%
unemployed: 23%
wild: 7%


*The war literaly tore the planet a new one.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on September 24, 2010, 04:21:39 am
*The war literaly tore the planet a new one.


HECK YEAH!!!  8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Lush City on September 24, 2010, 07:01:01 am
Can't be worse than what happened to Kamandi.
Title: Re: The Graidient: more neutral than switzerland
Post by: Gnoll on September 26, 2010, 07:34:25 am
So, can I have some info on their relations with specific species? Please include species that they've never met.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 01, 2010, 06:39:38 am
the Graidient have a domocratic Socialist Anarchy
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 02, 2010, 11:38:53 pm
writting about the war. should have it up soon.

I really should work on Erasucus and Alheivaeus' story though, seeing as Alheiv is my protagonist, and it wont make as much sense without the context. its a sequel, essentialy.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 03, 2010, 12:24:49 am
damn, now I have three timelines
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on October 04, 2010, 04:34:39 am
Nah, that's okay.

Some have even more than that.  ;)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 09, 2010, 01:32:32 am
current issue questionair with a graidient

feelings on homosexuality:  "we are asexual, yet somehow, still quite gay"
feelings on abortion: "we dont have that either, so nothing. though sometimes we will kill them, if they are too aggresive. we dont raise their zoea anyhow."
global warming: "we built a several sheilds of various properties around our planet to protect it from harm, but you have a natural one and destroy it? quite perverse"
feeling on free public health care: "well, by your definitions we are basicaly socialists. but then again, we have very few doctors. but all of this is moot, because we do not use money"
feelings on political corruption: "why would you garner support from people to then ruin that support by taking symbolic goods from them for property that is symbolicaly yours? I would just take them back"
feelings on immigration: um, i'm a nomad. so what do you think?"
feelings on tourture: "we cut off peoples arms and skin them alive all the time. nothing new"
feelings on creationism: "we actualy have something like that here. they are called Oclus"

Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Gnoll on October 09, 2010, 04:57:49 am
Pentekonterus: Well, to be fair, humans don't have the technology to achieve your shield-building feats, or even the technology to reverse the current damage. Not only that, the amount of money that renewable energy costs them is absurd! They need someone to do for renewables what Bessemer did for their steel.

(Serious post is serious)

...
*Pentekonterus is chopped at weak point in spine and dies*
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 11, 2010, 10:36:44 pm
for the record, the plural and singular form of Graidient is Graidient, not graidients.


Blatant rip of of a blatent rip off Inter-Civilizational Questionnaire With A Graidient Average Terran-Ixian Pentekonterus graidient again

Feelings on the Graidient: a generaly peacefull, simple folk. content to be good at everything we try. I have known them all my existence, and their is not one I havent liked. with exeption to Bragaelith, that bastard.

feelings on the Iavolg: we have no qualms about killing non sentient beings.

Feelings on the Knights of Vengeance: what is with this this metaphisical nonsence? sorry you are the metaphisical nonsense ones, correct?

Feelings on the Luzonians: "they did save a couple hundred of us a just a bit ago, so we view them favorably.

Feelings on the Pentekonterus: very hardy. we can apreciate that. still, not exactly charming.

Feelings on the Perrachi [Socialist Phase]: " by your classification, we are socialist. and they are purple. one of the colors  I can see, so thats a plus."

Feelings on the Perrachi [Communist Phase]: "...but by choice, not this nonsence, and it seems like they were killing eachother at this time. madness.

Feelings on the Photos: "I.

Feelings on the Skrall: insane, irrational. violent. no, we wont kill them. just detatch their limbs. and maybe their heads.

Feelings on the Terran-Ixian: strange. I'll study them for a couple decades and get back to you.

Feelings on the Nauceans: damn, I was around eight hundred years old when they left. shame we werent flying back then. we dont see too many water beasts on our world.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 13, 2010, 06:22:32 pm
next up: I'll finaly get around to talking about my historical figures in depth.

i'll start with raetustra, the first acendant
then i'll move on to Omathos and the sand talkers
which leads into Erasucus
and concludes with Alheivaeus and Ricalde, (also involved are Drehnaitus, keraeucheos, and cheahilist)
and then i'll skip ahead to the war; sesemetus, echazla, Bragaelith, Acathistus, and Keataus*



*their current day general, you might remember from somewere
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Kitkat on October 14, 2010, 12:12:01 am
I think it's kind of cool how each creature, especially nowadays, seems to have their language rooted in a language from Earth.

For example, it seems to me that the Gradient Have very Ancient Greek sounding names. One of the most well-known trends, to me at least, are the Orealyianis and other GPA species, who generally have Very Japanese-rooted language and names. The Bino, whether intentional or not, seem to have very Russian sounding names, and the Nameless, most recently, seem to have German-based names. (From Gurukenheimer.) We all have different "patron" languages! I think it's cool.  :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on October 14, 2010, 02:32:22 am
Indeed, indeed!  :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 14, 2010, 08:19:03 am
yea, you got it. many names are variant of greek and latin (but not Ricalde). i've been meaning to mention their language. seeing as you pointed out that part.

the graid have several tiers of language they use:

teir 1: animalistic communication
teir 2: sentient communication that is not a language
teir 3: standard communication. used less than you would think.
teir 4: sofisticated and gracefull. used for advanced conversation, poems and formalities
teir 5: a step beyond. perfect, in their eyes. few are able to using it.


Cheahilist also created a working tier language, used for utilitarian pourposes. efficient and short.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 16, 2010, 12:04:09 am
for the record. the Graidient, while only recently 'discovered' have been space-faring for over a million years. as such, their world (including many of the 22 planets in their home system) are terraformed and developed, and their spacecrafts are highly advanced. they are only lacking in weapons and deffence, and have only recently utilized warp teck.

they should catch up soon, because you can make a lot of learning when you dont have to sleep and have perfect memory. I plan for them to be an emerging power in the future.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on October 16, 2010, 06:05:44 am
More power to the Graidient! Wish them all the luck!  :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 17, 2010, 01:49:08 am
alright, writting Omatho's story right now. it ties in to most of the others stories. I decided not to start with Raetustra, because his story isnt as fleshed out and has less to do with the other ones.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 24, 2010, 05:26:09 pm
you will not likely find an employee as good as a graid.
 he is always on time, can work all day and night with no breaks (just feeding time twice a week), never forgets your orders, and works for free.


the graidient have a different moral code than most: they have no reservations about killing the non-sentient (in their case, that means you cant write a lymeric).
     A graid would see nothing wrong with, say, barging into your house and devouring your infant daughter
He wouldnt actualy do it, but only because A) he knows you wouldnt apreciate it and b) it could potentialy become inteligent, and, for around 60 years, provide some knowledge or interest.

so there is no law against ending a younger graid still going through its feral, animalistic phase, but it is considered taboo because of the potential you have ruined.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on October 25, 2010, 08:19:38 pm
their planet has 2 season: cold season and dry season.

the graid are a post-scarcity species: their only true need is food (dying of thirst as a graid would be ridiculous. their is a 1/3 chance that their is an underground lake beneath anywere you are standing), and they are apex predators through mental and physical superiority.

they have no difficult needs to fulfill, therefore, there is little pushing their advancement beside curiosity. thats why it took them a million years living in an advanced society to finally get around to making spaceships



alright, I have nothing more to add. I'll still add the stories, but otherwise the Graidient are finished.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on October 31, 2010, 08:11:05 pm
Awesomesauce...






... all thirteen pages of it.



So yeah!  8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on November 10, 2010, 12:12:43 am
life zones (simplified terms):

lower atmosphere: (sky): their are few truly flying creatures on the homeworld. most are too dense (the Graid are less than 20% liquid, for example)

peaks: nothing stays here long. Ysslarr sometimes travel to mountaintops to die and reproduce (in that order)
mountains: a few armored creatures are here, including the Ezalathum. graid can exist.

north: massive fleshy beast dominate here; its the only place they still rule on the surface

foothills: the true lifezones of the planet. Graid and many other major species flourish in these areas. main area of vegetation

plains/desert: unlivable seeing as water is almost nonexistant. because they get liquid from alternative sources, Kryloth herds can do well here, but so can their predators. graid here are generally nomadic.

subterranean: damp and dark.smaller fleshy beasts are unchallenged underground. the Acharah is probably the most successful animal, and has spread upward.

pools: the underground oceans have significant life skimming the surface and at the bottom only; seeing how almost no light reaches it either way, geothermal provides most energy.


Oil: the planet as an incredibly thick and largely untapped layer of fossil fuels, due to its dry nature and smaller amount of destructive decomposer. creatures have even evolved to live partially or exclusively in the oil. Oil is considered a renewable resource to the graid: it is produced faster than it is consumed.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on November 19, 2010, 10:02:58 pm
Acathistus is a graidient who is invisible. he uses no advanced cloaking device or light reflection; those have ways to be countered. he is physically unseeable.

bit by bit, for years on end, he has slowly turned every single cell and piece of his body transparent. combined with the low heat signature of a graid, he is virtually undetectable. at least by those who's primary sense is sight. the graid use hearing, almost exclusively
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on November 20, 2010, 02:04:13 am
Hollow Man Graid!  8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on November 20, 2010, 09:17:00 pm
graid Scribes do not write from the left to right or right to left or up and down,
 symbols are layered on top of eachother in their writing system.

also, my question at the top of the page is irrelevant: graid carve their writing with a blade.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on November 21, 2010, 12:11:02 am
The Penblade.  8)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 03, 2010, 07:50:41 pm
In an effort to reinforce the graid as masters of sound and word (and because its easier than the alternative) I will now primarily use Poems (and occasionaly actualy poets) to describe my characters*

poems by other people, of course. better people.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 04, 2010, 11:40:31 pm
also, this is probably the gayest race on these forums.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 05, 2010, 06:21:31 am
"Gay" as in "Jovial", I guess, in a way.  :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 05, 2010, 06:23:16 pm
no, I wouldnt say they are a particularly cheerfully people.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 06, 2010, 02:02:49 pm
The "artsy" part of Jovial, I meant.

Though, yeah, the G's are more of a "warrior poet" kinda civ.  :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 07, 2010, 11:53:27 pm
while the population of artists amongst graid is relativly high, this stems from the lack of need for labor and the uncapped existence of a graid, allowing for greater personal development: when you live forever, you will eventualy pick up sophistication and taste.

in a phrase, utilitarianism is just completely unessesary.



when graid feel sorrow (and they do when people die, despite knowing it serves no end to mourn), they scream. for hours. loudly.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 08, 2010, 01:05:07 am
That actually makes a lot of sense, considering that you'll basically have to live for the rest of your excruciatingly long life without ever getting the chance of meeting them again. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhoWantsToLiveForever)

Then again, I'm pretty sure they're much more capable of adapting to that fact.

But still...






MY EARS! THEY BLEED!



Never turn up the volume while connecting to a Gradient comms network in the middle of a battle.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 11, 2010, 03:31:05 am
they wouldn't mourn in a fight. they are pragmatic fighters.


damn, now I'm just adding random tibits. but I'm a person of details. this next one is actually fairly major though.

the Graidient rely almost entirely on hearing: no sense of smell or taste.
And their eyes have limited colors, (no green or red) and almost no motion detection or depth perception.


but their hearing makes up for this. its powerfull and precise. they can hear air hit object (their planet has high winds, so thats very valuable). not only do they hear your movements, they can hear your shape, hear what you look like. they can hear your bones move (they have no bones). this is the main reason graid do not persue stealth.

the read through hearing too. exhaling (actually rather complicated for a species that breaths through its back*) on the carved symbol (again, letter are stacked on top of eachother) allows them to hear it's sound.


*of note, this makes graid very vulnerable to airborn diseases and toxins. a graid will drop dead in less than two minutes if exposed to something poisons. they are mostly immune to circulating poisons though, because they lack a direct equivalent to a circulatory system (graid are heartless). not to mention they are only 18% liquid
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 11, 2010, 05:59:38 am
That actually makes quite a lot of sense considering their world.

How do their new ships work, though? They're mostly a mishmash of various reverse-engineered technologies, if I recall correctly. Are their interfaces mostly verbal?


a species that breaths through its back

Man, I totally forgot about that!  :o

Thanks for reminding me about that part of Graid anatomy.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 11, 2010, 12:17:56 pm
their weapons are taken from other technologies.

their actual ships on the otherhand have been perfected over a half million year period with no external disturbances. neural interface. they plug in through their hands.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 11, 2010, 01:06:34 pm
Oh, okay.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 14, 2010, 10:00:07 pm
Should finaly get around to finishing Omathos' story next week.

a tale of wonderous cleverness, great misunderestimations, and deceptive disciple.

and sand storms. I allways have to have something with sand powers or what have you.
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 15, 2010, 01:35:49 am
Sandpowers, ergo nanomachines, are always awesome.   :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 20, 2010, 11:05:33 pm
Query: Ithkibikis

Underway
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on December 20, 2010, 11:26:14 pm
Query?
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on December 20, 2010, 11:57:07 pm
oh, that was a cryptic message about something I'm not saying anything about yet.
Title: Re: The Graidient: tales of woe
Post by: Crazen on January 01, 2011, 05:50:47 pm
I'll be posting the story in full later abrahamic parables intact, but here is a sample:


(removed)
Title: Re: The Graidient: sorry about that
Post by: Yuu on January 01, 2011, 08:31:38 pm
Nice.

I always love me some scenery porn.

Will be waiting for more.  :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on January 02, 2011, 12:19:45 am
oh, and after thinking about it for a while I finaly got around to searching and I found the term for the graid technological style: clock punk
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on January 02, 2011, 12:26:05 am
Sweet!


Kinda like my character back in the Steampunk RP.  :)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on February 12, 2011, 07:47:42 pm
graid aircrafts names are an odd assortment of references to people and events. each crew must build their own ship, including mining and refining the raw materials, after all, so they want something special.

the coldest martyr of the craglands


Predictably Under appreciated hymns yet unwritten


Shattered Remnants of the Treasured and Cursed Transparent Peak


The Taker of Names (infamous)


Reasons to avoid traveling underneath the plains, as opposed to on them, most of which involve tremendously terrible and dangerous beasts with potent methods of ending, while a fair few of which are in relation to drowning


The Thousandth Insult I suffered by that fourtunate fool, upon which I could bear no more and disposed of him in an elaborate fashion in the catacombs.


Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Kitkat on February 12, 2011, 07:53:22 pm
The Thousandth Insult I suffered by that fourtunate fool, upon which I could bear no more and disposed of him in an elaborate fashion in the catacombs.
Ha ha! I get it!  ;)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on February 13, 2011, 02:56:47 am
He won't be sampling any spirit where he's going.  ;)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on February 27, 2011, 10:48:48 pm
the graidient, having examined human civilization, have declared our greatest achievement to be... the Harmonica
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on February 28, 2011, 05:14:24 am
Perfect for duels!  :)


By the way, any chance you might wanna do something about Thuli some time soon?
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on March 02, 2011, 08:42:00 am
probably not. its hard to have an ignamic and not entirely extant character (and it's 66% gas).

Though I will be killing of one of my minor races, the Machy (they are this: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ModernMayincatecEmpire)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on March 07, 2011, 05:24:24 pm
the graid noticed a flaw in many races fighting tactics: they fight.

after a few experimental battles in which they lost several of their ships, the graid realized that when you have FTL capabilities*, engaging enemies any closer than a forty light years away is stupid. lik, really, REALY stupid. I mean, come on!


relatedly, invasion of the graidient's home system is difficult. the location is never, ever revealed (and a perk of perfect memory is never needing to write things down). but more importantly they open fire before you even enter the cluster. fighting the graid, you will never see them, and they will never see you.

*(taken from other races.)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Crazen on March 10, 2011, 10:32:40 pm
man, these guys have changed over the years.

At first It was all like
(http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/4881/nietzsche.png)

But then It was all like
(http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/7893/wilde.png)
Title: Re: The Graidient
Post by: Yuu on March 11, 2011, 07:36:59 am
man, these guys have changed over the years.

At first It was all like
http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/4881/nietzsche.png

But then It was all like
http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/7893/wilde.png


The Gradient are now officially the best race ever.




after a few experimental battles in which they lost several of their ships, the graid realized that when you have FTL capabilities*, engaging enemies any closer than a forty light years away is stupid. lik, really, REALY stupid. I mean, come on!

So true.  ;D
Title: Ride the Lightning
Post by: Crazen on March 30, 2011, 08:02:03 pm


here:

The Evening Hawk
 by Robert Penn Warren

From plane of light to plane, wings dipping through
Geometries and orchids that the sunset builds,
Out of the peak's black angularity of shadow, riding
The last tumultuous avalanche of
Light above pines and the guttural gorge,
The hawk comes.
His wing
Scythes down another day, his motion
Is that of the honed steel-edge, we hear
The crashless fall of stalks of Time.

The head of each stalk is heavy with the gold of our Error.

Look!  Look!  he is climbing the last light
Who knows neither Time nor Error, and under
Whose eye, unforgiving, the world, unforgiven, swings
Into shadow.

Long now,
The last thrush is still, the last bat
Now cruises in his sharp hieroglyphics.  His wisdom
Is ancient, too, and immense.  The star
Is steady, like Plato, over the mountain.

If there were no wind we might, we think, hear
The earth grind on its axis, or history
Drip in darkness like a leaking pipe in the cellar.

<In a quiet, isolated hovel an unnamed and vigilant highland Two figures face each other, relaxed in the smoky, dimly lit room. The older of the two has thin, wispy hair. He speaks>  
Omathos? That is quite an unusual name; though I have known many unusual names;  All in association with him, actually.  Curious. Yes, of course I knew him; I was there. But you know that, otherwise you wouldn’t have come to me. Not many others have even heard of it. In the time since (forty thousand years, next month), no one who was part of it- that is, the seven of us- is left, except for me and one or two other,  depending on what rumors you find agreeable… < He briefly stares off into space> well, that’s off on a tangent. Anyway, that still begs the Question, how do you even know about this in the first place?
Well, I’ll tell you it all; at least as well as I can. I wasn’t there in the beginning, and I certainly didn’t linger at the end. But I know every detail of what I did see, and it was probably the most outstanding part of my entire existence. I suppose I am the allegorical “[equivilent to Ishmael]” I’m going to speak and you… what was your name? (It was something dreadfully bland, wasn’t it?). You will save any remarks you have until the end. Though from what I can tell, you are quiet company.
It may be good to give you some context to the days of my youth. I was a traveler, like many at the time. It was a popular idea at the time, to return to our nomadic lifestyle, and learn some forgotten meanings and lessons of the natural order;  All nonsense, of course. It was on my ‘journey of enlightenment’, in the foothills of the western mountain ranges, that I, by chance, met a man of most peculiar talents.
 He was tall, a full foot above me. Averages build; Yellow eyes; light but tough complexion. We gave pleasantries, and began to share stories. It quickly became clear to me he was not like me or the others I had met. He was true nomad, like the olden days. He told me he had traveled far, more than the world I had considered. His accent was strange but beautiful, with not a misplaced sound.
“So, Omathos” I asked him. “What does such a well versed (quite literally) individual such as yourself do to be afforded the luxury of journeying so far?”
He told me he was a glass shaper.  His equipment was in a worn sack on his pack animal. He carried almost nothing else, I might add. He showed me a few examples of his wares; I can’t give their quality justice. His small sculptures were made seamlessly, and looked almost as if they had been woven together. In retrospect, they probably were.
I began to praise the exquisite and colorful designs, when he told me that, no; this is not what he prided himself in. I asked him, if such fine creations where not worthy of his own esteem, what then, was.
“It’s not the glass that captivates me, but what it is made of”
“Sand, you mean.”
He showed me what he meant.

   I went with him to his camp. He had two companions at the time from his travels, Woetacour and Kondaera. You may have noticed a theme at this point. I’m still not sure where these people came from, even in this age of exposure. In any case, I didn’t understand every fifth word they said to each other.
 Woetacour was a likeable everyman in a fine hat, hailing from close to my homelands. Therefore I will spend little time discussing him. I had nothing against him, just likeable everymen do not make intrigue: he wasn’t even the humorous kind.  He was a mason in early retirement who had run into Omathos in traveling and had decided to join him for company.
   Kondaera, of the lowlands, on the other hand, was an odd fellow. He was a shepherd of sorts, so he told me in passing. The bite marks around his wrists made me wonder exactly what it was he herded. He followed Omathos in the belief he was of ‘cosmic importance’ (paraphrased). Omathos disagreed, saying anything remarkable he did could be attributed to “My unbearably mundane and spectacular cleverness”.
   So I came to travel with them. It didn’t take much convincing (In fact, Kondaera’s attempts where rather detrimental). And it was not a hard journey, despite the rugged terrain. Omathos walked at the pace usually reserved for leisurely midday strolls through ones grandiose garden on their marvelous middle aged estate, filled with bashful flowering plants of singing blue (green prefers the subtler haiku, while red is a talentless hack), a dancing and teasing stream and the occasional stinging, deadly pest.
Perhaps you should use the former half of that imagery (I’m quite proud of it) to decorate the environs of my self indulgent narrative, instead of the repugnant and quite passé barren, rolling hills that it actually took place in. quite trope.
Some others joined much how I had, ostensibly.  First was Quehesus, a very small, smarmy individual and a terrible mathematician. Eventually I arrived at the conclusion that he was in debt to some organization or another and had fled the establishment to be free of them
At this point you probably think that this will be the basis of some point of conflict in this story. It won’t, however, if you make the same conclusion about my next anecdote, you would be completely accurate.
Then we ran into Erasucus, of the Balkans, he said. Or more, he came to us. He was Sturdy but not stocky. Actually, I never seemed to get quite a good look at him. He always seemed to be out of focus; as If I could only see his shape, but not the details. The old tattered cloak he wore didn’t help. A mask in the shape of a beak hung on a string around his waist, though he never wore it. He had a friendly demeanor though.  
Finally I met Chardineal, who from “a land down under” I believe he was a disgraced noble of some sort. He was talented in marksmanship, free running, and avant garde paintings. Chardineal, with his straw hair, raucous theatrics and overall insufferable clamoring for attention. I cherished every instant.
   I must apologize for my uninspiring portrayals. It has been years since I last spoke. Maybe I could explain better in script, but I never learnt to write. I have always meant to, but the City is far.
So we meandered at the pace of lethargic and catatonic rocks, across treacherous stretches of clichéd nothingness, all with a crew of blandness, zealotry, absurdity, and in all likelihoods a fair degree of psychosis.
Oh, you can bet we had many a ‘wacky’ escapade, though most of them resulted less from plucky and spirited sense of adventurous curiosity, and more from less fluffy sentiments, such as gratuitous self importance, inanity, and belligerence.  I have predictably censored my flaws, so and I will instead present myself as the sole arbiter of reason and altruism.  On the contrary, that was Omathos’ position.
Moving on. In any case, I will only tell of the more relevant events.
First, a conversation, more or less. The seven of us had settled down by a river for the night; they were getting colder this time of year. Chardineal was, as per usually, the center of attention. He was doing impressions of all of us. You probably won’t get them, seeing as it’s hard to understand a caricature of someone without first knowing the person.
 He put on a proper gentlemanly accent and spoke in imitating Woetacour. He spoke with enormous gravity and unnecessarily elongated terminology (you see what I did there?) for Kondaera. Emulating Quehesus, he shrugged down to a tiny height, and started casting blatantly offensive accusations. Quehesus was not entertained.  
   His imitation of me was hilarious.
Then he mimicked Erasucus. He wrapped himself tightly up in his coat. After which he began to recite old limericks. uncomfortable. He must have realized this because he quickly switched to Omathos.
He slowly, slowly, strolled over to the bank and picked up a clump of dirt.
“It’s glistening with colors? Can you see them?!”
   He stood up and pirouetted. Naturally, he (accidentally) struck Quehesus upon the head. Losing no momentum he held his palm out to Omathos, as one would offer a gift, and blew it in his face. A beat passed. Then there was laughter or sputtering, depending on who you were.
“I’m flattered, Chardineal” said Omathos, pleasantly.
Another beat passed.
Erasucus spoke.
    “Entertaining. And that brings me to mention something. How exactly is it that you can do what you do, Omthos?”
“well.”
He had our complete attention.
“I consider myself an illusionist. There is nothing I do that has supernatural origins (a universal glance at Kondaera). That being said, I could teach you how to entertain the earths and skies. I haven’t decided if I should. Perhaps if you can figure out a part of it for yourself first, I will.”
   “very well” replied Erasucus, very slowly.
“ so what are the limits what you can do?” I asked “You have only shown me more whimsical and artistic things.”
“Yes. Are there more… practical uses?”
Omathos looked amused
“I have not considered it. Strange. I should try moving the mountains some time.”
<A long pause. The speaker adjusts his position>
Let us move on
   By now I believe we had been traveling over a year.
   These lands were wilder, more overgrown. We came across an infinitesimal pastoral village, untouched by outsiders. It still is today, except for the Globalists that tariff 88% of their non-sustenance production in an effort to relocate them. This place at least had remembered the 3rd dimension, having lovely valleys and rivers. It had forgotten the 4th one, though, so the denizens still lived in an antiquated hamlet. Although that could probably be inferred, when I referred to it as a ‘pastoral village, untouched by outsiders’.
   We took a rest their homestead for the evening. (Omathos parted with his Crafts in exchange) The Water was stale, pests crawled everywhere, and the roof collapsed when two tons of earth and mud fell from the cliff face. While the dry season was approaching, the last five months of rain had diluted the integrity of the precipice. And this is why I hate mud. I didn’t mention it before… well, I detest mud. And now you know why.
   A cacophony of noise ensued. Kondaera and I were in the adjacent room when it hit. It was more than just a ‘slide’ really; an avalanche. Chardineal and Omathos, I knew, where on the Verandah. That left Quehesus, Woetacour, and Erasucus unaccounted.
   “What The bother is riling up the Peasantry…oh dear”
Chardineal had arrived, along with Omathos and Erasucus.
“Is anyone… under that?” gesturing to the immense pile of dirt, timber, and shards of the cliff face.
We Acted. Chardineal and I attempted to dig. We were unsuccessful. Although that could probably be inferred, seeing how most people do not say they attempted to do something if they succeeded, then they would usually say something along the lines of, adjusting for context of course, ‘we succeeded’.
Kondaera on the other hand, tried a different approach. “Omathos can absolve (not used correctly, but I think he thought it sounded more glorious) this calamity”
Omathos gave a baffled stare. “I’m…”
Of course, at this monument Chardineal gave an exclamation. He had found Quehesus’s arm, out from under the pile. We dug around it until we found another arm. And another. No, that turned out to be a leg we mistook for an arm. He really was a tiny person. After an hour we finally got his head unburied.
“Woetacour is still in there!”, Quehesus stuttered between mouthfuls of filth. He was in a poor state. He had clearly injured something important.
“You need help” said Omathos. And Omathos lifted him up in his arms (he really was a tiny person). “I’m going to get him out of here. I’ll be right back” he hurried away
Then, of course, a support beam collapsed out from under the roof. It figuratively decided to not figuratively bludgeon Chardineal across the head.
So now Kondaera and I were left with two incapacitated, one missing, and another occupied. And holding up the remaining, lurching support beam, less the structure cave in on us (more than it already had). Erasucus stood still.
“Erasucus!” I called. He glanced up. “Help me!”
Still he stood still. I don’t know what his eyes were reflecting; confusion or detachment. By this I mean he did not seem to be entirely there; Lost in his mind.
Stranger things have happened.
I can not speculate what would have happened next, had Omathos not returned. He took my position. I tried dragging Chardineal across the floor. I could not. Then I felt the weight lessen. Erasucus had come out of his daze. We carried Chardineal outside, where a crowd had gathered. Some were wailing and some were doing their best to stem the destruction. I ran back inside the dilapidated structure. A heated debate between Kondaera and Omathos was raging. Both insisted the other leave first. I interjected and suggested an alternative. We bolted from the room.
We found the others, tending to Quehesus and Chardineal.
We found Woetacour nine days later. Just thought I would mention it. The locals held their version of a funeral.
<A long pause>
It took a time, but eventually we resumed our traveling. We headed back west now.Another year passed.
I hate the desert; let me tell you that now. Omathos loved it of course. This one was dry, but cloudy. Erasucus was speaking.
“Omathos. That time you said if I learnt one your secrets, you would tell me others?”
“Of course”
A slight rain had started.
“Well, I spent a long time trying to discover your methods. I made many observations of both you and on my own. ”
“And?”
“I succeeded”
As if on cue, the downpour started before he could continue. We walked in silence.
Of course I tried to figure it out as well. I guess the kind of imagination to amuse the terrain only comes with a demeanor of mystic mysteriousness.
   Later on I did manage to discuss it with him. We had reached the foothills of the mountains of the sand lands. In fact, we camped directly below a well known mountain. You know the name?
“So I owe you a sort of congratulations then, Erasucus you’re the only one who knows how to-”
“yes, I suppose I am. The only one. No one else knows how, except Omathos. No one else. maybe…well, yes.” His expression broke.
“what?”
“yes”
He regained his composure, something had changed in his expression.
“yes, I think I shall remain the only one”
This is the point where the story takes a unforeseen swerve that could not have been predicted beforehand, and, in all accounts, makes little sense to anyone. Don’t worry though, If I have time I will explain it.  For now, may I just bring up my earlier comments about a crew of ‘blandness (now deceased), zealotry, absurdity, and in all likelihoods a fair degree of psychosis.’
Erasucus struck me on the side of the head. When I recovered, he had ran off.
I met up with the others.
“Erasucus just attacked me”
I received some quizzical looks.
“He started muttering some peculiars to himself and then hit me across my face.”
 I told them the details.
“Well, he was always a mad fellow” said Chardineal.
“Chardineal, I think our friend may be troubled by something. This is appropriate.” Said Omathos “we should find him”
“perfect place for searching for a violent mad man.”. Through the rocky labyrinth of sand and stone, we searched for him
I was partnered with Quehesus.
“I’m sure he is suffering one of his attacks. I’ve seen them before. I think he may have some illness”
“Whatever it may be.”
We found him, eventually. Or rather, as always, he found us. He was atop an outcropping, looking down on us.
“So, I’ve decided I will be the only one who can ‘talk to the air’. That means-” he paused. Not for dramatic effect or any such nonsense. His expression went blank again. Then he recovered.
“that means Omathos can’t anymore. And you can’t try.
This is the part where is attacked us. Quehesus crumpled after one kick. I fell after two. He sauntered over to me. Then he stopped. Fear appeared in his demeanor.
“what am I doing this for? It is yes. Nothing. I am first. There is a place.” Apparently he was having an argument with himself I think he won. I recovered.
 I was furious at this point, my arms bared for a fight.
 “I’m…sorry. I do not know.” Now he turned to me “I need help. I don’t know. Please”
I lowered my guard.
He broke down, told me his story. It was filled with neglect, sorrows and anger. Because people are not born into mistrust and violence. They are shaped by their surroundings.
That’s not what happened though. He stabbed me. With a knife (this explains the terrible scar above my left eye)
Then he let out a guttural sound. This was probably because of the moderately sized bolt which was stuck in his shoulder. Chardineal was an excellent marksman.  
Now we tried to disable him. This lasted about seven seconds before the mist showed everything; his work, no doubt.  He raised his mask to his face; he was as a beast. He disappeared into the fog. This a minute of silence passed. We quickly became separated.
I heard a shriek. Kondaera collapsed behind me.  I turned to engage. Erasucus was standing upon his back.  He disappeared again before I could even take a step. I wandered with this apparition for an hour before he eventually came for me and. I could say we fought, but that’s not what really happened. A fight implies some sort of competition. There was none. Lying on the ground, I could just make out him ending Chardinal.
I tried to control the injuries as I ran. By some miracle I found Omathos first.
“Erasucus has turned. He is coming for you.”
His eyes widened. Not in surprise though.
“Now I understand. Wait until he sees me. Then get away. Get the others, if you can. ”
Not the most legendary last words, but very practical.
Omathos started to climb upward. He climbed the mountain. The heavy footsteps were approaching fast, as was a-his- storm. And then I heard the thunder. This is what broke my suspension of disbelief. Lighting. I still think that’s wasn’t fair. I turned and ran. The wind was picking up. Omathos would, as they say ‘bring it’.  Sandstorms are quite a sight to behold. The noise was deafening.
 When I had breached the height of a ridge, I stopped to see. The top the mountain was obscured by the tides of soil. I caught sight of a figure climbing quickly. I kept moving.
I found the others; Quehesus got the least of it. He got away well enough. (I heard he became a successful looter).  Kondaera was left with a, but survived (I believe he returned to his flock of ambiguous beasts).
   The two storms continued to curse and snarl atop the mountain. One passed, then the other. I returned to the mountain. I climbed the summit. I found no sign of either of them. But the mountain had turned to glass.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 02, 2011, 04:29:33 pm
and to think, that crap took me over a month to write.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 02, 2011, 07:57:07 pm
Looks interesting.

I'll dive into it later.




Ps. Didn't you already post that poem at the start?
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 03, 2011, 08:06:47 am
HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AWESOME!


Best piece of prose I've read here in quite a while!

The scenery porn and the way he narrates was just boss!

I mean, when he described the events of the landslide, it was simultaneously comedic [scattered body parts, anyone?], foreboding and, at least in the end, tragic.

Though yeah, my money is on Erasucus causing that bloody thing in the first place.



But most importantly, now I know how Erasucus turned into a massive jerkass.




Ps. Weaving sculptures? As in, actually weaving them?

Awesome profession for a sand manipulator, if I do say so myself.



Pps. Minor nitpick: The spacing and spelling could do some work, though.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 07, 2011, 09:49:37 pm
Well thank you.

 :)


just if it wasn't noticed before, the graidient technically live in an anarchy. oddly enough, they have a senate and are under constant martial law.
this may seem to be a contradictory. of course, a human would say that, not a graid. it. The graid more or less do whatever they want. if they want to help the senatorial, they will, and will benefit from it. the only time the government interferes directly is for issues of murder and security.

this is exposition that will help make sense of my next project. Because the last time they tried making a central government with directive and comand, it didn't go so well...



(tiny excerpt from my new work. just started, so I only have four pages so far)

Quote
When IKONKAR, the unity, was first commissioned, it was envisioned as a symbol of progress, bringing security and peace of mind to the populous, possibly cooling the inflammation between the senatorial and those who had been relocated. It looks far less charismatic covered in dull gray metal and with a row of twelve ATGM silos mounted on its deck. The picture is still not complete unless the observer knows that each contains four kilotons of destructive force.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 08, 2011, 05:12:19 am
Kudos, crazen!

I can't wait for the whole thing to get up!   8)
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 08, 2011, 09:19:24 pm
Quote
Zycophustalus is a very difficult name to earn. It is the kind of name one can only achieve in a couple of ways, and it has only been earned once.

“The man comes to take me away…”

Therefore, most people, when dealing with a Zycophustalus, a certain degree of caution would normally be warranted.

“The man takes away everything away.”

Most members of the Senatorial show a fair amount of safety protocols.

“The man takes away my friends”

   Magistrate Preasaal is not most members of the Senatorial.

“The man takes away my home”


    Therefore Magistrate Preasaal does not exhibit the behavior most individuals would when dealing with someone named Zycophustalus

“The man will not take me away!”

   In conclusion, Magistrate Preasaal was the only one surprised when, upon launching a military grade RPG at Zycophustalus, he was swept up in a tornado, briefly launched into the inner atmosphere, and slammed into a mountain, before finally coming to rest three thousand feet below.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 08, 2011, 09:46:36 pm
IT. IS. OOOOOOOOOOOOOooo...


*splat*












 :D




Seriously, he really shouldn't have carelessly fought a guy that can potentially chuck a mountain at him.   ;) 8)
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 10, 2011, 12:06:19 am
well, Zyco doesn't "chuck mountains". he throws hurricanes.


The scenery porn and the way he narrates was just boss!
his name is Rahaun, though I never said so.

scattered body parts, anyone?
that was just them digging Quehesus up. he was fine. Woetacour was the one who died, and he just suffocated.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 10, 2011, 02:32:20 am
well, Zyco doesn't "chuck mountains". he throws hurricanes.

Which is actually still absolutely terrifying, considering the thermal and kinetic energy locked up in a normal tornado, let alone an induced one.  ;D


his name is Rahaun, though I never said so.

I see.

Now I know who to invite into speeches and formal occasions.   :)


that was just them digging Quehesus up. he was fine. Woetacour was the one who died, and he just suffocated.

I meant digging Quehesus up reminded me of those scenes in shows where the character is dismembered and is only slightly inconvenienced by it, which is hilarious.   ;D


Woetacour was the one who died, and he just suffocated.

Yeah, that was... pretty... dark.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 18, 2011, 09:27:39 pm
Magistrate and military general Keataus is the third greatest mass murderer in the graidient's 40 million year history, and sacked and burned and deployed nuclear weapons on his own capital during his campaign and. and yet he is still in a respected and high position as of now.

 why? because he happened to personally kill the greatest mass murder in graidient history.


in total, over half of the population was killed (the population had been 96 million), and Earthsky* was so ruined it took almost a thousand years to recover entirely


*I finally named the planet. They call it Earthsky.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 20, 2011, 02:39:31 am
Earthsky...

Veguely reminds me of something...

Something familiar...



Earthsea?   ???




Also, yeah, in a way, I guess it kinda makes sense.

Same thing's happened in Earth history quite a number of times.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 21, 2011, 11:54:30 pm
Quote
This is the journal of minor magistrate echazla, agent of Sesemetus the dreamer, written in the working script


I doubt my new title will have any impact. Yes, the magistrates of the Senatorial are dangerous people, but I doubt that our circumstances will allow it to have much in the way of practical effect.  Not to mention I am currently the lowest class of magistrate
If the system has been abandoned or changes since this time, here are our standard ranks:

Lesser regular
Greater regular
-
Minor Magistrate
Lesser magistrate
Greater magistrate
High magistrate
Grand Magistrate (Breagalith)
-


 No, this just means I will be addressed more formally and the others will have to consider my orders slightly more often. So maybe they will obey them once in a time.

   A new man has entered the camps. Normally this would be a nonevent, except something is different about him. His name is quite long. I heard him called Zyco, though, so I shall refer to him as this here. Despite only being here for a few hours, he was immediately granted audience with Sesemetus himself, a privilege I had to wait a year for, and we only conversed briefly. I have heard a few negligable rumors of his identity, though nothing definitive. in any case he must be important in some way or another

   No eports of Ikonkar. That means it has'nt made a strike recently, or it has not left anyone to report them
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 24, 2011, 12:33:11 am
I hope I haven't made the impression that the graid wear a single hat. they have a disproportionately large number of artists, particularly musicians, but that doesn't mean they all cultured poets or something.

they have murderers and pacifists, sociopaths, introverts and extroverts, bleeding hearts and stone hearts, con artists, hams, comedians, givers and takers, wildmen and gentry.

The only absolutely universal personality trait is the lack of any need to hurry.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 24, 2011, 02:50:06 am
Which probably contributes to their greater attention to detail, ergo art.

Well, maybe not art art, just a greater regard for finesse in the average individual.


Also, no worries.   :)

In the story above alone there's already a big ham, a cool bro shaman-ish guy, a determined yet talentless performer and a frighteningly serious sociopathic powerfreak, among others.

And then there's the other ones, including the big guy on the first contact RP.   :)

They don't seem too archetypal, just higher in articulateness on average, which really isn't a bad thing. Beneficial, actually, since it follows naturally with the creature's biology.



EDIT:

Also, sucks to be the one to accidentally cross paths with that walking death machine.

Oh, and love the magistrate's sarcasm when it comes to matters of seniority.  ^_^
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 25, 2011, 12:05:25 am
i'm not sure which death machine your refering to.


yea, the speakers of the Earthsky do follow a system of shamanism,  more or less.

many have tried, but the exact number who have actualy achieved the ability to talk with Earthsky is small. there have been more than seven, but no more than a dozen. most are still alive. some are missing (including Omathos and Erasucus of course), though none are confirmed dead.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 25, 2011, 08:13:44 am
Indeed.


i'm not sure which death machine your refering to.

Umm, yeah, forget about that...

Just something that slipped into my thought for some reason.  :S
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 27, 2011, 06:08:49 pm
well, there are a couple death machines, but they don't walk. they fly.




graid don't  bullets, and they don't use "elegant" weapons like lasers or plasma or any other other unnecessarily fancy or precise devices.

just lots and lots of explosives, bombs, missiles, shrapnel, mines, rockets, grenades
the closest to conventional arms they have is a rocket propelled grenade launcher. because when a graid decides to kill you, it doesn't want to kill you.

it wants you blown the **** up I don't need no antimater **** that **** just blast it until it's slag!
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 28, 2011, 07:55:38 am
Indeed.

Graid infantry warfare is truly more akin to tank warfare, considering the combatants involved.


Then there's also the bonus of being able to solve any problem through liberal use of explosives.   ;)
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on April 30, 2011, 01:52:11 am
its a story of mental trauma, great violence, morality, philosophy, the uncontrollability of life and death, the transient nature of culture, and the soul of art and sound.



but it's also a love story.
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on April 30, 2011, 07:21:54 am
Well said.   :)
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Crazen on July 18, 2011, 09:21:14 pm
In the war, roughly 80% of the planet's surface and it's life was irreparably destroyed because Grand Magistrate Keatus decided to set it (the planet, not the life) on fire. this was accomplished throught the use of airships and a liberal amout of napalm pouring down from them.


on a related note, Graid would taste like salmon
Title: Re: The graidient
Post by: Yuu on July 19, 2011, 01:07:34 am
on a related note, Graid would taste like salmon

Considering the topic of the previous paragraph, it's not unrelated at all.   :P
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Crazen on September 07, 2011, 07:39:47 pm
unlike many other species, the Graid are not close to sapient at birth, and have the brain capacity of a particuraly savy trout. it is not till almost five thousand years before they reach intelegence comparable to apes. each graid must essentialy gain it's own sentience over time.  

bonus tibit: the Graid's nervous system is also it's muscular system.



they are not a single government people. there are twelve major powers on Earthsky (the industrius moon is controlled by the senatorial of Coessus. the sancuary moon is technicaly under their juristiction, but they care little of it)
8 are in a semi-united state. of the other four, one cares little for the alliance, another has yet to fulfill the proper requirments for membership, and two are activly hostile toward the others.


Rathaljiorm of North is the name that matters. his people are a little different.
they come from the land of the ice and snow...
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: UFO King on September 07, 2011, 08:33:52 pm
they come from the land of the ice and snow...
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Yuu on September 08, 2011, 12:45:41 am
Rathaljiorm of North is the name that matters. his people are a little different.
they come from the land of the ice and snow...

From the planet's dark zone?

The place that happens to be perpetually freezing, receives zero sunlight, has massive snowstorms and is crawling with monsters so big they'd probably just tank mid to low caliber rounds?


Whoever these guys are, they're pretty metal.

Heh, metal... (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IncrediblyLamePun)
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Crazen on September 09, 2011, 08:24:02 pm
well, in complete seriousness, that's the point. before adding any new concept into canon, I've taken to asking myself "how would this look on a metal album?"


preferably NOT this one: http://www.kissfaq.com/albumcovers/cover_destroyer_large.jpg
cause they suck. they really, really suck



EDIT: also, you should hear their creation myth. brutal as F***
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: UFO King on September 09, 2011, 11:53:08 pm
Guh, I just read through this whole thread in search of info for my star charts. I am truly, deeply apologetic to you, Crazen, for underestimating the quality of your creation. This is truly one of the diamonds in the rough, no matter how repellent the below-average punctuation may be to Grammar Nazis. I salute you and greatly look forward to more information on these guys.

On another note, I'm assuming that the Graid's interstellar possessions are comparatively low in number. I read just one reference to "the colonies," and most info was just about Earthsky. One moon was classified as a defensive fortress and these guys are well-equipped for defensive fighting. That and their very homeworld-centric culture implies to me that their exoplanetary dominions are insignificant in size. So am I correct in assuming that they don't have much beyond Earthsky?
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Crazen on September 10, 2011, 10:38:10 pm
I'm flattered. Thank you.

And your spot on. It's hard to build an empire when you don't exactly have a government. Also, tiny population.
Though they are rather far flung in the worlds they inhabit, seeing as some have been traveling for millions of years, enough time to reach almost anywhere in the galaxy (again, they don't use FTL).
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Crazen on September 11, 2011, 07:11:01 pm
I don't like your description "Impersonal Beam Spam." For one thing, since when is any kind of battle personal? (Except those involving Spaniards and six-fingered men.) For another, I happen to like cool flashy lasers.


As it is, I actually do have a battle between a Spaniard and a man with an extra appendage. So, there you go.

This is partially because my story is really just an enormous slash fic of the Princess Bride, this gave me the perfect opportunity to explain it.
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Crazen on September 13, 2011, 08:04:27 pm
No. Actualy it's satire on vietnam.
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: UFO King on September 13, 2011, 11:29:50 pm
This is partially because my story is really just an enormous slash fic of the Princess Bride.
You have lost 26% of my respect.
No. Actually it's satire on Vietnam.
You have gained 31% of my respect.
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Gnoll on September 15, 2011, 01:16:07 pm
This is partially because my story is really just an enormous slash fic of the Princess Bride.
You have lost 26% of my respect.
No. Actually it's satire on Vietnam.
You have gained 31% of my respect.

Congrats, Crazen, that's a net gain of 5% respect!

Well, what do you want from me, a soliloquy?
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Crazen on September 16, 2011, 11:07:17 pm
Now I know who to invite into speeches and formal occasions.   :)

forgot to mention, that can't happen, sorry. Rahaun left his hovel one morning to find everything burning and streams of liquid fire falling from the sky.
Then the Starboard crew of Unerring Rightness II (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment) proceeded to launch two RPG's into his chest cavity. Then he blew up.


here is this nifty little chart I made:

(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/1051/beligerentsesmw.png)
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Yuu on September 17, 2011, 05:18:40 am
Then he blew up.

D :



http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/1051/beligerentsesmw.png

Wow.

Someone's gonna have a pretty lousy day.
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Crazen on September 17, 2011, 05:09:31 pm
yup, but both sides had a special weapon of sorts. Look carefully and you'll notice it's about an even fight.



and for the record, no, that is not just a list of names, and yes, I do have the outlines of their cultures and characters.
Chardineal, for example, was from Nuinngual, and the earlier mention Rathaljiorm rules from Graeltr.

the achara largely stayed out of the war, but as the chart shows one major pack sided with Coessus, for reasons unclear. they proved instrumental in the campaigns of Patchete, where the jungles are thick.
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Yuu on September 18, 2011, 04:26:43 am
Regardless, I'd hate to be on the frontlines of that war, whichever side I may be on.  ;D

Any info on those that didn't join the conflict, their opinions?
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: UFO King on September 18, 2011, 01:07:16 pm
What exactly does "Al Akshir Esh Oclus" mean again? It sounds like Arabic.
Title: Re: Thulithotle
Post by: Crazen on September 18, 2011, 08:13:13 pm
I didn't say.
it means, roughly "In ending I return to Oclus"

It's an Ending oath to Oclus the shaper, who "granted death to the stone."

it is found in Uthumasad, a city built around it's gleaming 'corpse'.  followers of Oclus believe it the holiest sight on Earthsky.

modern science yields little. the entity shows nothing under magnification, and cannot be moved. one thing they did find: massive amounts of radio waves emit constantly from the carcass, so much as to disrupt communication to Uthumasad. all in all though, it seems to be an inert, anomalous mass.

just don't get too close: there are...rumors.
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: UFO King on September 18, 2011, 09:53:59 pm
...Why did the name of the topic suddenly change to Thulithotle in your post?
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Yuu on September 19, 2011, 02:56:27 am
I smell CROSSOVER!   ;D
Title: Re: graid: Al Akshir Esh Oclus!
Post by: Crazen on September 25, 2011, 06:29:03 pm
it actually has many names. Uthumasan graid call it Oclus.

the name Thulithotle comes from strange sightings by star watchers of the Machy. (if you didn't get the "their totally Aztecs" thing)
it's full name being Thulithotle-Yalerotopec


Quote
It seems morning stars aren't the only massive balls hanging down from a Graidient's exoskeleton.
huh, I think maybe Theave (a rather undeveloped character right now. he's keataus' mute bodyguard. he has a skin condition) is the only graid who uses something like a morningstar. They explode on impact.
Title: Re: Graid: Ver ech Eras agus Yrasslrmoch
Post by: Crazen on October 30, 2011, 04:58:13 pm

first (very) rough draft of the prologue of the follow up (though really its the original story)






End of the fourth age of Earthsky, far North.


You are lost



“I will find the way through"

What did you come here for?

The being known as Erasucus trudged through the snow. It was right. He was lost. The only sight was miles of untouched ice and rock in all directions. This was the land even the ancients had never seen.
   But he knew he must come here. The whispers of the earth demanded it. Though the mountains where impassable and the sleet and storms never ceased to scream, they did not faze him.  His body pained, but his mind felt nothing.

   The ridge narrowed. He could see the faded outline of a summit through the haze. He turned toward it, and the storm seemed to yield. No question this was where he must go.  As he marched, Era did not mean to consider the past. He did not think of what had happened to him. He did not think of what he had done.
   
What of them? Why do you still search for them?

The seventh was gone.  He was the sixth. The fifth was meaningless. The fourth disappeared. The third was gone. The second was finally gone as well. The first was something else now, beyond him. And after all, the murmur had never said...

"Yes, they are meaningless now, save the first. I will move on"
 
The storm had entirely died out around him, leaving silence. Through the clouds the faint signs of light could be discerned. The murmur directed his movements

Good, now we can go back, come what will


Era ignored it. The path ended abruptly into a sheer cliff face, but the outcropping that formed the peak was just forty feet above him. He withdrew his hook and scanned for a hold. It wasn't hard; the ice had been packed solid for centuries.  He sunk it into the face, and it held firm. He planted his foot firmly against the wall. And the world exploded.
The storm writhed with the whole weight of the sky. Era’s feet where swept out from under him. He managed to dig his shiv into the ice, stopping just moments from being swept from the precipice.  Struggling into a low crouch, and reached out and stabbed the wall, and began to climb.
With every step, the Earth grew angrier, this contempt of its limits. But Era was, in this moment, even more tenacious than the iron will of nature, and as he reached the cusp of the summit, the storm exerted its last howl before fading.
Era examined the horizon; crown of the world. 

“Here it is”

So why are you here?

“To wake a death”
Era raised his hand. The lighting came down. A screech and a rumble echoed through the peaks.

Something did wake, from somewhere deep. and it was colossal. the ice crumbled. The creature rose effortlessly through the peaks. Its snakelike head, gleaming with countless pale eyes, lined with Era’s steely gaze.

“Nyvrslng, eternal rime, Beast spirit of north! I am your fate!”
Title: Re: graid: Ver ech Eras agus Yrasslrmoch
Post by: UFO King on October 30, 2011, 06:46:40 pm
Vivid imagery. I like it a lot. Looking forward to more!
Title: Re: graid: Ver ech Eras agus Yrasslrmoch
Post by: Yuu on October 30, 2011, 08:03:20 pm
Sweet, sweet prose, ya got there, Crazen! The pacing was great and the emotions, spot on. :)

Also...



Epic Mount FTW!   8)
Title: Re: graid: Ver ech Eras agus Yrasslrmoch
Post by: Crazen on November 05, 2011, 03:46:37 am
started making a timeline. I will not use actual dates, because given the scale involved, that would be really, really hard. mostly it's just so I can precede each little anecdote with a rough chronological place.

ooh, this is the first little work I've posted that's used Rcalde or Keataus. some of my favorites amongst my characters, as it is.





sixth age

Rcalde staggered to his feet, and took another step.

“Why do you stand.” Spoke Keataus blandly, unloading another round into his chest, forcing him back down again.

Rcalde lurched forward. The pain was almost gone now as he struggled toward his assailant.
He choked out a reply, “I still h-have….”  But no words actually came. His speech was gone, throat seared by the fire.

“You can’t hope to kill me and you can't hope to live, so why do you rise?”

Closer...

He raised his eyes to meet K’s.
Keataus fired again, this time a blast. Rclade shattered. writhed.  K stood still. Rcalde tried to rise again. He found he could not stand straight. Pieces strewn on the ground; he mutedly noticed how much of him was dead.

Closer…

Keataus lifted his heel and connected it with Rcalde’s face. A short gasp escaped the tortured body. K raised his rifle and aimed it concisely for the kill.

Rcalde wheezed. His breath was leaving, His sight was a blur. Almost nothing remained. He raised his arm to the gun, and gently pushed the barrel to aim at the ground.

Now he was content to die.

***


K marched back down the valley. His thoughts where uncomfortable. Sesemet was dead.  The dissent was broken. The unexpected obstacle had been removed. Coessus would be rebuilt. Only… something wasn’t right. Something hadn’t been…proper. Cloudy. Troubling. He tried to make sense of it.
He was interrupted.

“Keataus, Coessan General of air forces! I report as high magistrate Echazla, limb of Sesemet the Dreamer. Now, with his death by your actions, I am commandant of the Joint clans of Salom. We have unanimously dissolved the sovereign rights of Coessus. You are now master of none. I outrank you, and demand you lay down your arms.”

He counted the targets. Six, seven, no, a dozen perched among the outcroppings. He spotted the speaker atop the crest of the ravine. This commandant was a rather thin specimen, holding a weapon designed for much further distances than the forty odd paces between its scope and its target.

   “ Is the dreamer giving orders from his place in the stone now? Strange. I didn’t hear a word from him after I cut him in half.”
    Before he had even spoken the last word, a shot wiped by k’s face.”
“Tremesche! Ceasefire”

“Oh, you mean to end me now, do you? After all the effort of catching him, I still took the time to let Sesemet face a fair and impartial trial.”

“Keataus, we demand a response. Lay down your arms or we shall take them from you!”

“I had to drag him for miles.  He stopped struggling eventually. I don’t think he ever-“

“Keataus!”

“Oh yes, your ultimatum”
Keataus grinned, and raised his rifle for the last time.
 “No”


Title: Re: graid: Ver ech Eras agus Yrasslrmoch
Post by: Yuu on November 05, 2011, 05:15:42 am
OHH YEAH!    8)

I agree that it's excruciatingly hard to make dates for such long-lived beings. Plus, it's easier to consolidate this way after you've finished the TL.   :)
Title: Re: graid: seriously though, space vikings.
Post by: Gnoll on November 05, 2011, 09:09:58 am
Please. I knew they were space vikings the whole time.

Also, back on topic, I have enough of a hard time coming up with dates for my stuff, so for something practically immortal? I can see why you'd omit them.
Title: Re: graid
Post by: Crazen on November 06, 2011, 05:07:37 am
I made this nifty map. all the places that influence them, large or small, in one way or another.

-moved-
Title: Re: graid
Post by: UFO King on November 06, 2011, 05:12:10 am
Um, what? Earth?
Title: Re: graid
Post by: Crazen on November 06, 2011, 05:27:15 am
yea, well there aren't a lot of other planets out there to draw inspiration from.

what? oh you thought I meant...oh aheh


no no no, its an influence map, silly head. those are all the places that Earthsky is loosely inspired by

I made this nifty map. all the places that influence them, large or small, in one way or another.

I might divide it more later, but for now
red: coessus
blue: Joint clans
green: other
yellow: achara


(http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/8612/influencemap.png)
Title: Re: graid
Post by: UFO King on November 06, 2011, 06:09:45 am
Oh, I see! Space Patagonians. I'd prefer more Africa, but Cameroon is nicknamed "Africa in miniature", so I suppose that adds up.
Title: Re: graid
Post by: Crazen on November 06, 2011, 10:45:38 am
well, overall they just aren't really based much on any african region. the Middle east, Patagonia, and Scandinavia are the bulk of it.

Title: Re: graid
Post by: Crazen on November 07, 2011, 06:12:52 pm
sixth age

first journal entry:

Quote
This is the Journal of Greater Regular Echazla,  of thesoldier joint clans against the unity, written in the working script
I have decided, now that I have a proper place in Sesemet’ force, I shall keep a journal.

Troubling day. We heard the news that the great holy city has fallen to Caadusni's fleet. The strange part is, there were no survivors, either of Uthumasad or Alatolm. Our witness (from a far distance) says the battle began conventionally, but something happened when the bombing reached the chamber of the stone shaper’s carcass. He says everything was encompassed in” blinding dark flash” and a “torrent of insanity” surrounded him. After his “black light” passed, the city was empty and the airships fell from the sky. no bodies were found.

I fear for my beloved Recheviosk, and those I have left behind there.

last journa entry:



Quote
   This is the journal of Grand magistrate Echazla, commandant of joint clans of Earthsky, written the written in the working script

Killed Keataus. lost seven of us before we decapitated him. Only lost two more after. Shot him in the back.

 Fighting over. Journal done.