Gaming Steve Message Board

Random Encounters => Everything Else => Topic started by: Fink on July 21, 2006, 06:23:24 pm

Title: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Fink on July 21, 2006, 06:23:24 pm
Just some quotes that you may find humorous. Feel free to add your own, or comment


Question: If you could live forever, would you and Why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
Mariah Carey

   
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.



"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"     
--Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.



"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.


"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.



"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.


"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, Vice President


"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle


"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca



"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.


"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.


"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President


"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery



"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina



"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed, and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: TheNecromonicon on July 21, 2006, 06:35:55 pm
"Buuuuuuuuuudy."
- Paulie Shore

"Munchai Munchai!"
- also Paulie Shore
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: werechicken on July 21, 2006, 06:47:35 pm
I thought that if we don't suceed we run the ris of failure was a bushism?
Anyways...

One the great things about books is that sometimes there are some really good pictures
George W.Bush
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on July 21, 2006, 06:49:56 pm
You get my log off sound.

"I hear theres rumors on the.... internets!"
~George W. Bush


By the way, a big thanks to 762 for ruining the topic!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: 762 on July 21, 2006, 06:51:26 pm
http://rumorsontheinternets.ytmnd.com/
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on July 22, 2006, 01:25:57 am
"i think war is a dangerous place,"
                                            - George W.Bush


"What are you crouching down for? They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist"
                                                                                                              - General John Sedgwick

its pretty obvious why he didn't finish

"I think—tide turning—see, as I remember—I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of—it's easy to see a tide turn—did I say those words?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                 - George W.Bush

"Get Hezbollah to stop doing this ****,"
                                                    -George W.Bush
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SmileyMan on July 22, 2006, 10:02:34 am
"Internet is serious business"

George W. Bush
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: HanianKnight on July 22, 2006, 10:15:56 am
"Iraq is a threat to national security"

- George W Bush

sorry the angry liberal in me had to say it ;D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 19, 2008, 01:24:51 pm
Here's some great Rodney Dangerfield Quotes:


A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Blarg on January 19, 2008, 01:38:02 pm
Can't remember who this was from, some comedian on the Muppet Show.


"I've been ugly all my life. In fact, when I was born my father asked the doctor if I was a boy or a girl. The Doctor just said 'No.'"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Quantum Burrito on January 19, 2008, 03:48:39 pm
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." - V

"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - Unknown, often erroneously attributed to Benjamin Franklin

"A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." -Antoine de Saint-Exup'ery

"Do go away and read a book - they're fascinating, you'll love them." - Richard Dawkins

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious." - Oscar Wilde

A few of my favourites.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on January 19, 2008, 04:17:32 pm
-All Civilization IV Technology Quotes-

Glad I got those out of the way.

Believe those who are seeking the truth, doubt those that find it. -Andre Girde
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on January 19, 2008, 04:43:21 pm
I'm an angel and my name is satan! come with me children to a wonderful land full of gum drops and happiness!


this of course was from a banned childrens tv show...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 19, 2008, 05:14:36 pm
I'm an angel and my name is satan! come with me children to a wonderful land full of gum drops and happiness!


this of course was from a banned childrens tv show...


I remember seeing a video of that show. That was quite possibly the most disturbing thing I ever watched in my entire life. Anyone got a link to it?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on January 19, 2008, 05:16:05 pm
merry christmas


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqi5F5MqqTQ
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on January 19, 2008, 05:20:32 pm

Halo Combat Evolved:

Cortana: Sleep well?
Master Chief: No thanks to your driving, yes.
Cortana: So you did miss me.


Cortana: This thing [a Banshee] is falling apart!
Master Chief: It'll hold.
Cortana: We're not going to make it!
Master Chief: We'll make it.
Cortana: Pull up! Pull up!
[Banshee crashes into the wreck of Pillar of Autumn and The Master Chief comes out intact]
Cortana: You did that on purpose, didn't you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cortana: I leave home for a few days, and look what happens
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Veraal on January 19, 2008, 05:33:06 pm
merry christmas

*vid*

That's awesome and creepy at the same time, which is awesome.

A quote:

Messenger: This is madness!
Leonidas: Madness...? This.... is.....SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!
*boot*
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SmileyMan on January 19, 2008, 05:40:20 pm
Quote
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

I love theists.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: GameManic on January 19, 2008, 05:41:04 pm
"42nd Street: Women's breasts draped across every billboard, every display, littering the sidewalk. Was offered Swedish love and French love, but not American love. American love; like coke in green glass bottles, they don't make it anymore." -Watchmen
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Blarg on January 19, 2008, 06:21:29 pm
Quote
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

I love theists.

*facepalm*

THAT is why the world thinks everyone that is Christian is an idiot! I am so SICK of hearing quotes made by idiots who don't even bother to research how the world works!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Daxx on January 19, 2008, 06:45:55 pm
Quote
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

I love theists.

*facepalm*

THAT is why the world thinks everyone that is Christian is an idiot! I am so SICK of hearing quotes made by idiots who don't even bother to research how the world works!

Ignore him, he's just trying to provoke you. He well knows the difference between creationists and theists, but anything for the lulz, right Smileyman?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cobra on January 19, 2008, 07:05:51 pm
Here's some great Rodney Dangerfield Quotes to start us off:

etc...

I'm generally of the opinion all moves can be improved if Rodney Dangerfield were to be digitally added into various scenes.

*fart noise* Whoa did somebody step on a duck.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SmileyMan on January 19, 2008, 07:17:16 pm
Quote
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

I love theists.

*facepalm*

THAT is why the world thinks everyone that is Christian is an idiot! I am so SICK of hearing quotes made by idiots who don't even bother to research how the world works!

Ignore him, he's just trying to provoke you. He well knows the difference between creationists and theists, but anything for the lulz, right Smileyman?

Indeed.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Slartibartfast on January 19, 2008, 11:07:14 pm
Quote
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.
The Sun.

Where did you get this quote?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SmileyMan on January 20, 2008, 03:42:34 am
Quote
One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.
The Sun.

Where did you get this quote?


Here (http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:http%3A//www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx%3Farchive%3D1)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SBD on January 20, 2008, 03:52:33 am
SmileyMan, I believe you've stumbled across a gold mine:

Quote
Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

Quote
Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go f*** a [prostitute].
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men f***ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?

Quote
[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

Quote
Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic.

Quote
To say the Bible was written by men and may contain inaccuracies completely contradicts the word of the Bible.

And there's plenty more where that came from.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on January 20, 2008, 05:17:05 am
Ummm... obviously you realise that site is just a heavy-handed parody of creationist rhetoric.
If you actually believed that was true then you really need to start thinking objectively about things, even things which indirectly support your viewpoint.


Now, back on topic.

Quote from:  Sideshow Bob
MMmmmmhehehehehehehehehehehahahahahahahahaHAHAAAAA AAAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SmileyMan on January 20, 2008, 05:23:58 am
Ummm... obviously you realise that site is just a heavy-handed parody of creationist rhetoric.
If you actually believed that was true then you really need to start thinking objectively about things, even things which indirectly support your viewpoint.


The sources of the quotes are linked on the site.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on January 20, 2008, 05:28:58 am
Now, back on topic.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Celdur on January 20, 2008, 05:42:12 am
Hi! :D

Hi! :D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SBD on January 20, 2008, 05:43:20 am
First of all krakow, you were the one who went off topic in the first place; and secondly, don't even aknowledge you were wrong or anything...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on January 20, 2008, 06:37:49 am
Aha KS! Two caan play at that game!

Quote from: Siideshow Bob
*Fwack* Rwrwwrwrwrwrwrwrwrwwrwr
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Blarg on January 20, 2008, 07:11:52 am
Here (http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:http%3A//www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx%3Farchive%3D1)

Good Lord Almighty. There are no words in the English language that can possibly encompass the feelings that I have right now. Just READING a few of those makes me lose intelligence.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on January 20, 2008, 07:55:18 am
merry christmas

*vid*

That's awesome and creepy at the same time, which is awesome.

A quote:

Messenger: This is madness!
Leonidas: Madness...? This.... is.....SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!
*boot*

I am suprised I didn't say this first, nice one Veraal  :)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Blarg on January 20, 2008, 08:41:45 am
Oh yeah, here's one from my dad that he wants to make into bumper stickers.

"I'd die for my country. But I'd much rather kill for it."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 20, 2008, 10:27:26 am
What a coincidence. My dad once told me a similar one.

You don't go to war to die for your country. You go to make the other guy die for his.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Luminar on January 20, 2008, 10:29:52 am
I didn't know your dad was General Patton.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 20, 2008, 10:30:30 am
I didn't know your dad was General Patton.

What good is a quote if it isn't repeated?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on January 20, 2008, 02:52:14 pm
Oh yeah, here's one from my dad that he wants to make into bumper stickers.

"I'd die for my country. But I'd much rather kill for it."

Your dads awsome, man I never thought about it that way. Hey I'd rather kill for my country, I am too young to die anyway.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on January 20, 2008, 02:54:22 pm
I didn't know your dad was General Patton.

What good is a quote if it isn't repeated?

Patton said "Patriotism isn't dying for your country, it's making the other poor bastad die for his".
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 20, 2008, 02:55:44 pm
Yeah, that's probably where he got it from.

I never said he came up with the quote.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Blarg on January 20, 2008, 02:58:01 pm
Oh yeah, here's one from my dad that he wants to make into bumper stickers.

"I'd die for my country. But I'd much rather kill for it."
Your dads awsome.

I wholeheartedly agree. :)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Deep Lee on January 20, 2008, 05:10:42 pm
"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." -Guillaume Apollinaire - found that on a box of green tea.


"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for--in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it." –Ellen DeGeneres



props on starting the thread

let's try to keep it on topic.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Celdur on January 20, 2008, 05:11:59 pm
i wonder what patton would be like if he was born after the war
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SBD on January 20, 2008, 11:30:40 pm
He'd exactly the same, but he'd be making those godless commie sons of bitches die for their country, instead of those godless jerry sons of bitches.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on January 21, 2008, 02:51:33 am
Oh yeah, here's one from my dad that he wants to make into bumper stickers.

"I'd die for my country. But I'd much rather kill for it."
Your dads awsome.

I wholeheartedly agree. :)
:)

"I don't have any money cause I don't have a job. I don't have a job cause I didn't go to school. I didn't go to school cause I don't have any money." - A commercial about an educational savings company in Seattle.

I forgot from what company it came from. Once you say it in a loop, you'll get the idea. The Endless Spiral of Doom.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Deep Lee on January 21, 2008, 06:47:11 am
umm, what the hell? I can't say something negative about Christians without being censored? I don't recall using ANY profanity... I said something like "ignore the idiot moron Christians, they aren't worth arguing with", and it got removed... That's messed up. Let me clarify by saying there ARE really smart, really nice Christians (like my PARENTS), but they are a minority. It is NOT worth the time and effort to convince people who blatantly ignore reason. That is all. I have rights ya know. Just cuz you disagree with me doesn't mean you can edit my posts!!!!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Dr. Croccer on January 21, 2008, 08:17:32 am
''No amount of political freedom can or will satisfy the hungry masses.''

Guess who it is.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Veraal on January 21, 2008, 08:56:54 am
''No amount of political freedom can or will satisfy the hungry masses.''

Guess who it is.

Super Mario?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: GrapeFruit on January 21, 2008, 02:01:56 pm
''No amount of political freedom can or will satisfy the hungry masses.''

Guess who it is.

Super Mario?

lol, I'm still laughing
good one
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Deep Lee on January 21, 2008, 03:29:32 pm
If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.  ~Noam Chomsky


Take away the right to say "f***" and you take away the right to say "f*** the government."  ~Lenny Bruce
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Blarg on January 21, 2008, 03:32:52 pm
Quote
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on January 22, 2008, 06:38:29 am
Quote from: Demetri Martin, comedian
Saying "I apologise" is the same as saying "I'm sorry".

Unless you're at a funeral.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on January 22, 2008, 06:44:21 am
Quote from: Demetri Martin
Saying "I apologise" is the same as saying "I'm sorry".

Unless you're at a funeral.
That is so true.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Quantum Burrito on January 22, 2008, 09:33:31 am
Funny thing happened in my maths (mechanics) class. There's this really easily excitable girl in our class, who can't seem to concentrate, and the teach was obviously getting a bit frustrated with her; this happened while we were learning friction:

Teacher: A 3kg mass is resting on a rough surface...
Girl: What is the mass
Teacher: It's 3kg
Girl: No, I mean, like, what object is it?
Teacher: It's a dead dog
Girl: <distressed noise>
Teacher: Anyway, μ is 0.2. Which is quite low, this must be a pretty slippery dead dog. Probably oozing something...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Veraal on January 22, 2008, 12:53:47 pm
Funny thing happened in my maths (mechanics) class. There's this really easily excitable girl in our class, who can't seem to concentrate, and the teach was obviously getting a bit frustrated with her; this happened while we were learning friction:

Teacher: A 3kg mass is resting on a rough surface...
Girl: What is the mass
Teacher: It's 3kg
Girl: No, I mean, like, what object is it?
Teacher: It's a dead dog
Girl: <distressed noise>
Teacher: Anyway, μ is 0.2. Which is quite low, this must be a pretty slippery dead dog. Probably oozing something...

Thats brilliant, he/she deserves a win.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: huggkruka on January 22, 2008, 01:11:53 pm
My New Zealand maths teacher had tons of funny sayings and ramblings, but it was all about the delivery...ans the eecceent. And the fact that he wore an entire different wacky outfit every bad shirt friday.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cobra on January 23, 2008, 02:32:50 am
Quote from: Demetri Martin
Saying "I apologise" is the same as saying "I'm sorry".

Unless you're at a funeral.
That is so true.

From Australian TV show Newstopia.
Quote
I could say I'm sorry your hair is all grey and wiry but I'm not actually apologising for it because it's not actually my fault.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on February 15, 2008, 05:05:49 pm
We're not lost. We're locationally challenged.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on February 15, 2008, 05:25:36 pm
Lol, where'd you get that quote Met?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on February 15, 2008, 05:58:34 pm
John M. Ford

Forgot to put it in.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on February 23, 2008, 06:59:20 pm
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

  - John Benfield
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: The Time Traveller on February 23, 2008, 08:49:40 pm
"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet."
-Al Gore
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Fink on February 23, 2008, 10:12:38 pm
Oh, I made this thread. ha

"For every crooked pot is a crooked lid... and your a crooked pot"
Alice Cooper tonight on his show
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kcronos on February 24, 2008, 07:56:28 am
Wow!  That vid on the first page reminds me of something Sawyer wrote once...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: 762 on February 24, 2008, 04:11:06 pm
By the way, a big thanks to 762 for ruining the topic!

What the hell did I do?

Was Werechicken banned?

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
-Sir Winston Churchill
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on March 03, 2008, 07:36:35 pm
Quote
I think it was called "Coming to America" or something. Had Darth Vader in it, if I recall.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on March 03, 2008, 07:40:56 pm
By the way, a big thanks to 762 for ruining the topic!

What the hell did I do?

Was Werechicken banned?

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
-Sir Winston Churchill

You posted a YTMND link.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Josasa on March 03, 2008, 07:46:36 pm
"Intolerance is intolerable."

Don't know if anyone actually said that, but it just sounds cool.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on March 03, 2008, 07:47:26 pm
Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Darth Grievi on March 03, 2008, 07:59:15 pm
RPGs don't support my awesomeness

-- My gamer cousin :P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: The Time Traveller on March 03, 2008, 08:07:27 pm
"Lead!  Lead is poisonous!" was the last broadcasted message from the bomber as it exploded into biodegradable pieces, falling on several farms and killing various cows.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on March 03, 2008, 08:08:10 pm
Quote
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on March 04, 2008, 12:01:25 pm
Quote
Oh right..I have to kill you now
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Deep Lee on March 06, 2008, 03:43:45 pm
"That ideas should freely spread from one to another over the globe, for the moral and mutual instruction of man, and improvement of his condition, seems to have been peculiarly and benevolently designed by nature, when she made them, like fire, expansible over all space, without lessening their density in any point, and like the air in which we breathe, move, and have our physical being, incapable of confinement or exclusive appropriation. Inventions then cannot, in nature, be a subject of property."

-Thomas Jefferson
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Quantum Burrito on March 08, 2008, 10:27:35 am
I had another interesting MSN conversation (spelling errors, formatting, etc, cleaned up):

Friend: What you up to?
Me: I'm trying to implement AES in C++, at the moment I'm trying to figure out why the compiler is giving me a return type error.
Friend: Woah, you're putting AES in your coursework?
Me: No, this is something I'm doing in my spare time, I might put it in my coursework later though, good idea.
Friend: Can you send it to me so I can have a look?
Me: Sure, just a minute
<sending file:HelloWorld.cpp>
Friend: Why's it called "HelloWorld"
Me: Feature creep
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on March 08, 2008, 10:34:10 am
Quote
Help! I've fallen and I can't get up

-Slogan for "Life Alert".
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on March 08, 2008, 10:41:33 am
Really, at first I thought that saying came to be on Family Matters?
(http://www.mediabistro.com/unbeige/original/2005_0308_urkel.jpg)
Er...Copyright :-\?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Oviraptor on March 08, 2008, 01:33:04 pm
Urkel's catch phrase was, "Did I do that?"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on March 08, 2008, 01:58:33 pm
He also said "I've fallen and I can get up" catch phrase as well.
But I think you are right though Ovi, that was his official catch phrase :).
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Deep Lee on March 09, 2008, 06:28:09 am
don't forget, "Got any cheese?"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: blitzonator on March 09, 2008, 06:45:13 am
merry christmas


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqi5F5MqqTQ

If that's what I'm going through to get spore then bye.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on March 09, 2008, 10:42:56 am
If thats what I'm going to do in spore, sign me up!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: 7 who ate 9 on March 11, 2008, 12:56:23 pm
Mine: (names changed)

Quote from: Noone
Quote from:  otherguy
Quote from:  Fish
Quote from:  Someguy
Quote from: Backseatmodder
Quote from:  Someguy
hot
Please refrain to replying one word replies. This isn't the IG forum, we a  PSU don't know whats going on there but here. We post complete sentences.
Wot
LOL
huh?
nvrm

Quote
When I was little I went into an elevator with some other people, then the doors closed. I said "It's okay! The doors will open again!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on March 12, 2008, 07:29:29 am
The covers of this book are too far apart.
                                       -Ambrose Bierce
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on March 12, 2008, 11:24:09 pm
Nice one, Met! :)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on March 18, 2008, 07:11:35 pm
"Yes, we must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately."

It was said by Benjamin Franklin during the signing of the United States Declaration of Independence. Basically a play on words saying that they will stand united and succeed. Those that don't will be executed for treason.

Definitely one of my favorite moments in American History
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on March 28, 2008, 01:33:30 pm
"Never Trust a Computer you can't throw out a window"

And the famous Civ 4 line:

"Beep Beep Beep Beep"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on March 28, 2008, 02:22:47 pm
The covers of this book are too far apart.
                                       -Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce has an infinite amount of fantastic quotes.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on March 29, 2008, 07:38:25 am
You guys should test the myth that if you feed a dragorgon 50 smarties in a row it will randomly implode on itself -Askaninjaguy
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on March 29, 2008, 07:58:48 am
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they go by."
-Douglas Adams, my long lost brother
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on April 22, 2008, 01:25:02 pm
The exploration and use of outer space, including the moon and other celestial bodies, shall be carried out for the benefit and in the interest of all countries, irrespective of their degree of economic or scientific development, and shall be the province of mankind.

-Article 1, First and Second Paragraph of the Outer Space Treaty
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on April 22, 2008, 01:32:43 pm
I think for most people, their kind of general aesthetic with games is that the more I control this experience, the better the game is.
-Will Wright

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on April 22, 2008, 02:14:29 pm
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinion, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
                                                                                                              -Oscar Wilde

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cobra on April 23, 2008, 03:21:42 am
From the quote a day calender at work today.

"Computers are not mealy clunky old TVs with typewriters in front of them they are a connection to the universe and allow you to move bits of it around."
 - Douglas Adams

Also sometime back in February I had "Do or do not there is not try"  ;D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: /lurk on April 23, 2008, 05:21:58 am
"I, at any rate, am convinced that He (God) does not throw dice."
-Albert Einstein

"Einstein, don't tell God what to do."
-Neils Bohr
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: The Time Traveller on April 26, 2008, 07:33:04 am
Quote
The Orange Box has a simple story. In a warring military encampment where factions battle for control of strategic areas, an insane computer forces the scientist Gordon Freeman to solve a series of fiendish and deadly puzzles to steal a valuable cake from alien invaders.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on April 27, 2008, 02:39:19 am
The blue shell is the socialist undercurrent that grinds winners and losers together into a smooth paste.
-Jerry Holkins

"I, at any rate, am convinced that He (God) does not throw dice."
-Albert Einstein

I once used this quote in an argument that the entire universe has a set in stone course that cannot be changed. Everything that happens could not have possibly happen a different way because events leading up to it would have to be different. Those events can be different because the events that led to them. Continues all the way to the start of the universe and leads to the possibility of being able to predict the future.

I can't remember the name of this theory for the life of me, though...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Daxx on April 27, 2008, 02:45:17 am
I once used this quote in an argument that the entire universe has a set in stone course that cannot be changed. Everything that happens could not have possibly happen a different way because events leading up to it would have to be different. Those events can be different because the events that led to them. Continues all the way to the start of the universe and leads to the possibility of being able to predict the future.

I can't remember the name of this theory for the life of me, though...

¬_¬
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on April 27, 2008, 04:54:51 am
Here you go met: http://www.gamingsteve.com/blab/index.php?topic=12124.0  ;)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on May 01, 2008, 01:39:58 pm
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
-Sir Winston Churchill
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on May 01, 2008, 01:43:50 pm
Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!
-Shaun
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultimatum on May 01, 2008, 02:15:18 pm
"I know not what World War Three will bring,but I know World War Four will be fort with sticks and stones"
-Albert  Einstein
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on June 05, 2008, 05:28:47 pm
Truly brilliant line in X-Files. But it might need some explaining.

Mulder, main hero, is holding a gun up to the head of the ringleader of a shadow government of the US who they call Cigarette Smoking Man.

Mulder is yelling at him for information. The Cigarette Smoking Man is sitting there calmly and says:

"Don't try and threaten me, Mulder. I've watched presidents die."

He is, and probably forever will be on of the greatest villains ever on TV.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: The Time Traveller on June 05, 2008, 06:24:36 pm
"It's an unwise man who doesn't learn from his own mistakes.  But it's an absolute idiot who doesn't learn from other people's."
-Kelsey Grammer
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on June 05, 2008, 06:31:31 pm
"Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock."
 -John Barrymore
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on June 05, 2008, 06:38:37 pm
"Love is like a snowmobile racing through the tundra. Suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come."
-Matt Groening
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on June 05, 2008, 08:37:57 pm
Alrighty everyone, I just found something very nifty thanks to the Free Information Society.

Clips from many famous speeches of the twentieth century. (http://www.freeinfosociety.com/site.php?postnum=460)

I like the Chamberlain one because it's deliciously ironic.

You may also want to note that this is the actual audio, so unless you know Russian don't bother with the Stalin clips.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on June 16, 2008, 10:42:31 am
From here (http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/080614.html):
Quote from: Sheldom webcomic
Let us nail bent shafts of steel to my steed!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Tesla on June 16, 2008, 12:50:06 pm
"It's an unwise man who doesn't learn from his own mistakes.  But it's an absolute idiot who doesn't learn from other people's."
-Kelsey Grammer

I will not say anything, I will not say anything...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Clockwerk on June 16, 2008, 12:53:04 pm
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty, than those attending too small a degree of it.

-Thomas Jefferson
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Doctor Z on June 16, 2008, 04:44:20 pm
Quote from: Anonymous
Leviathan: Sounds like a new pharmaceutical hard-on pill, doesn't it?

"It'll make your dick as big as a whale!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on June 17, 2008, 09:19:39 am
"Those who give up liberty for security deserve neither liberty nor security." - Benjamin Franklin

Judge: But why?
Bob: Because you need me, Springfield.  Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That's why I did this: to protect you from yourselves.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: MetallicDragon on June 17, 2008, 04:56:37 pm
"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: The Time Traveller on June 19, 2008, 11:30:21 am
"There is a third option. It involves... murder."
-The movie version of the cat in the hat.

Tells you about how faithful it is to the book.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on June 19, 2008, 01:16:00 pm
"As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence." - Benjamin Franklin

.... I love the Founding Fathers.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on June 19, 2008, 02:11:41 pm
"The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say."
                                                                             -Anais Nin

"Sous les pavés, la plage !"
                                - Graffiti in France, 1968.
'Beneath the paving stones - the beach!'

"You can’t buy happiness. Steal it."
                                 -Graffiti in France, 1968

"Veuillez laisser le Parti communiste aussi net en sortant que vous voudriez le trouver en y entrant."
                                 -Graffiti in France, 1968
'Please leave the Communist Party as clean on leaving as you would like to find it on entering.'

“Amnesty: An act in which the rulers pardon the injustices they have committed.”
                                   -Ambrose Bierce (King of awesome quotes)

"If I can't dance, it's not my revolution."
                               -Emma Goldman

"I'd rather have flowers on my table than diamonds around my neck."
                               -Emma Goldman





 



                                       
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on June 19, 2008, 02:26:13 pm
"The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live."

"Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision.'

Both from Ayn Rand
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Neoadept on June 19, 2008, 02:36:37 pm
"Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it."

-Richard Feynman
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Veraal on June 19, 2008, 03:10:26 pm
"As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence." - Benjamin Frankling

.... I love the Founding Fathers.

yet, you spelt his name wrong.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on June 19, 2008, 03:18:17 pm
Thanks to the power of the edit button, no I didn't!  ;)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Clockwerk on June 19, 2008, 07:33:11 pm
You people of the South don't know what you are doing. This country will be drenched in blood, and God only knows how it will end. It is all folly, madness, a crime against civilization! You people speak so lightly of war; you don't know what you're talking about. War is a terrible thing! ... You are rushing into war with one of the most powerful, ingeniously mechanical and determined people on earth — right at your doors!

-William Tecumseh Sherman
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on June 20, 2008, 05:36:15 am
"In a higher phase of communist society... only then can the narrow horizon of bourgeois right be fully left behind and society inscribe on its banners: from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs." - Karl Marx

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." - Groucho Marx
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Clockwerk on June 21, 2008, 07:44:01 pm
The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving on.

-Ulysses S. Grant
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on June 23, 2008, 08:58:28 am
"You're all going to die. Didn't mean to remind you of it, but it is on your schedule."

-George Carlin
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on June 23, 2008, 10:04:43 pm
Coincidental you post that three minutes after I posted it word for word on the George Carlin thread.


Couple quotes from his "Death is Imminent" routine on George Carlin Again.

"Nobody wants to die... If you think being sick is no fun... You're really not going to like death."

"Die big. No one wants to just... pass away..."

"Well, actually, being dead is great. Getting dead is the part that's no fun. No one cares about being dead. It's a blast. Just getting dead..."

"I believe you go where you want to go when you die... When Monte Hall dies he'll go behind door number 4. I believe when you die your soul goes to a garage in buffalo."

"You ever hear of this frisbeetarianism? Apparently, when you die your soul goes up to the roof and gets stuck."

"It's either me or you... just like on the freeway."


Then a couple of others for the hell of it.

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning."

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."

"As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything."

"It's never just a game when you're winning."

"When someone asks 'Do you know what time it is?', I simply respond 'yes.' and smile."

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on July 06, 2008, 02:29:27 pm
"Scout blood, it's what jetliners run on." - Dr. Dakken of the TF2 forums
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on July 14, 2008, 08:40:58 pm
The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
- Robert Graves

And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.
- George Carlin
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on July 15, 2008, 06:58:18 am
I never really liked George Carlin's stuff. There is a fine line between simplification for comedy and generalization.

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." - Random Proverb (Attributed to Czechs, Aesop, and others)

"A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves." - Edward R. Murrow

"No man has a natural right to commit aggression on the equal rights of another, and this is all from which the laws ought to restrain him." - Thomas Jefferson

I'd post funnier ones but... Eh...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on July 15, 2008, 08:40:49 am
"It made me think, maybe I'm not a nerd. Maybe I've just been dragging a mattress my whole life...

Nah, you're right. I am a nerd." ~Brian Posehn
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Wonderful Lizard of Oz on July 18, 2008, 04:47:27 pm
This topic is to say weird, insightful, or just generally interesting things that children (read:people 12 and under, teenagers don't count) say.


So, I was watching an old movie with my family, and my mother commented, "That lady is going to take him for all he's worth!"  She paused, and then said "That means she's a conwoman.".  My little brother said "Oh.  I thought you meant she was going to marry him."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on July 18, 2008, 04:48:41 pm
Dang, that kid is a comedian in the making.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on July 18, 2008, 04:48:49 pm
So why "babes"?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Wonderful Lizard of Oz on July 18, 2008, 04:49:57 pm
Old expression.  It used to mean "children", then became "babies", and then somehow became "women".  I have no idea how that last jump was made.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on July 18, 2008, 05:11:42 pm
lol wut
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mae on July 18, 2008, 05:17:12 pm
This was me:

"I love mom, and grandma, and grandpa, and my sister, ****** (consider it witness protection). I even love that rock! Oh, and dad."

I was six, and this was a genuine mistake. He was crushed.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SmileyMan on July 20, 2008, 07:06:09 pm
This was me:

"I love mom, and grandma, and grandpa, and my sister, ****** (consider it witness protection). I even love that rock! Oh, and dad."

I was six, and this was a genuine mistake. He was crushed.

I did the same with a drawing. I drew my mother, sister and I in a garden and my father under rain and thunder.  ??? I feel bad everytime I think about it.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Wonderful Lizard of Oz on July 20, 2008, 07:11:21 pm
Update on my brother:
Note: This quote is funniest if you imagine it in Yahtzee's voice, which was, funnily enough, the actual voice he used.
So, we were having  a discussion on books.  My brother was complaining about how books for young children are cranked out too forumlaicly.  "I have to give more credit to the A to Z mysteries author than the Magic Tree House one because it was obvious that he intended 26 books whereas the Magic Tree House just keeps on going into the 30s like some sort of demented Energizer bunny."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on July 23, 2008, 07:28:05 pm
My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
  - PJ Plauger
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on July 23, 2008, 11:54:22 pm
The most persistent sound which reverberates through man's history is the beating of war drums.
 - Arthur Koestler
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on July 24, 2008, 12:59:48 pm
Come on, it's just like making love. Y'know: Left, down, rotate 62 degrees, engage rotor.
  - Bender
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on July 27, 2008, 12:36:03 am
"Occurs multiple times in Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, first with Kamina having his Humongous Mecha punch Simon to induce this trope, then after the Time Skip Simon doing it to Rossiu after jumping through hyperspace proving that yes, even Kamina can be topped in Bad Ass delivery of the line.

    * Hey! He'd never jumped through hyperspace before then. Which, of course, means that he instantly learned to jump through hyperspace, and he did this specifically to punch someone in the face. I'm pretty sure I can hear physics weeping and I can't bring myself to care. "


  -tvtropes.org on GetAHoldOfYourselfMan


EDIT:

"I'm in despair! The Internet has left me in despair!"

  -Nozomu Itoshiki
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on July 30, 2008, 12:33:48 am
"I will storm the wasteland with an army of prostitutes. Fallout 3 is now complete." - Uberdetastic, of the Bethesda Fallout 3 forums
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: shadowlord18 on July 30, 2008, 04:36:51 am
I am a mushroom
(don't ask who)
I worry about my self some times it would seem my perpose on life is to be the guy that everyone makes fun of. then again i make fun of my self so it really doesn't matter
(something i said off the cuff one day)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on July 30, 2008, 02:01:13 pm
"George Orwell haunts Bill [O'Reily] every night before he goes to sleep" - Zombiesoiree, of Youtube
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on August 01, 2008, 08:04:26 pm
The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced.
  - Vic Gold

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
  - PJ O'Rourke
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on August 01, 2008, 08:18:43 pm
You guys think I'M crazy! Well, that's fine! Most of you don't know what's going on around here, but I'm damn well sure SOME of you do! You think that thing wanted to be an animal? No dogs make it a thousand miles through the cold! No, you don't understand! That thing wanted to be US! -

Doctor Blair from The Thing (1982 version).

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on August 01, 2008, 11:16:03 pm
The Draft. That's where the government says you MUST join the military or you go to jail. But don't worry, you're fighting to maintain the freedom we have in our country.
-Jimmy
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on August 02, 2008, 10:42:36 am
“If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.” -George S Patton

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." -George S Patton
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gunner on August 02, 2008, 11:07:46 am
WAR is PEACE
SLAVERY is FREEDOM
IGNORANCE is STRENGTH
 - 1984, George Orwell - INGSOC's principles.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on August 02, 2008, 01:27:13 pm
WAR is PEACE
FREEDOM is SLAVERY
IGNORANCE is STRENGTH
 - 1984, George Orwell - INGSOC's principles.

Actually.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on August 02, 2008, 07:39:35 pm
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." - Jack Handey
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on August 18, 2008, 03:21:03 pm
“ If I had a quarter for every time I said I had a nickel, I would have five times as much theoretical money. ”

Stephen Colbert
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on August 19, 2008, 10:27:08 am
"We must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!" -Kodos
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on August 19, 2008, 10:33:34 am
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." - Jon Stewart
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on August 27, 2008, 07:43:36 am
If you outlaw toilet seat only outlaws will have toilet seats. - Krakow Sam
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: OldSnakeWontDie on August 27, 2008, 03:29:44 pm
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."
-Frank Zappa
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kcronos on August 27, 2008, 07:36:16 pm
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dista-"

Actual last words from a British general...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on August 27, 2008, 11:03:39 pm
I don't care what it is, when it has an LCD screen, it makes it better.
 -Kevin Rose
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on August 27, 2008, 11:30:32 pm
"TANKS! BUILD MORE TANKS!"
--General Ta Hun Kwai
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on August 28, 2008, 04:53:26 pm
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.
George S. Patton
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: TEH on August 29, 2008, 12:02:49 am
"Its always up to you, if you want to be that, want to see that, want to see it that way..."
- Supertramp, School

"Bad words don't echo"
- Ma mama

(btw all yer quotes kick ass)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on August 29, 2008, 12:11:08 am
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dista-"

Actual last words from a British general...

Actually he was a general for the Union during the American Civil war.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Sedgwick

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on August 29, 2008, 12:05:04 pm
Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
  - Harry S Truman
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on August 29, 2008, 12:13:07 pm
Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
  - Harry S Truman

Despite most dictatorships, such as that of the Nazis, being criminally inefficient and mismanaged, never mind the fact the entire nation is subject to the whim of one lone mentalist.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SmileyMan on August 29, 2008, 12:15:46 pm
Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
  - Harry S Truman

Despite most dictatorships, such as that of the Nazis, being criminally inefficient and mismanaged, never mind the fact the entire nation is subject to the whim of one lone mentalist.

Mismanaged? The Nazis "saved" Germany.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Wizard on August 29, 2008, 12:38:27 pm
That is also completely missing the point of the quote. When a republic makes a decision, it is a long and arduous process, and in the end can be decided simply because it takes too long (like a filibuster). When a Dictator needs to make a decision, you just ask him, and you do what he says. That's the efficiency mentioned by the quote. Whether or not those decisions are in the best interests of the people is an entirely different matter, often times its the same conclusion anyway.

You know your democracy is dead if things start getting done faster than before.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: OldSnakeWontDie on August 29, 2008, 04:53:59 pm
''Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.''
—President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004



IDIOT
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on August 29, 2008, 07:27:41 pm
"I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go."
-Barack Obama --at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpGH02DtIws&feature=related

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."
-Barack Obama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh6Gx1KrvTw

"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed." --on a Kansas tornado that killed 12 people
-Barack Obama
(its in here... nice collection actually... at about 2:12 or so http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap2Cg_FDRy4&feature=related)

Political quotes are fun, but so easy to find it is like kicking puppies.
-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on August 30, 2008, 04:38:51 am


"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."
-Barack Obama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh6Gx1KrvTw


He means there are 'heroes' in the audience, not exclusively fallen 'heroes'.


Then again, who am I to stop the constant swamping of this thread in Political sniping?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on September 02, 2008, 08:59:14 am
" We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull while others bright, some have weird names, but they all have learned to live together in the same box. "

~Author Unknown
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Veraal on September 02, 2008, 02:23:10 pm
that one was the first quote here that i think is nice.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on September 02, 2008, 09:15:20 pm
Mistah Kurtz-he dead

A penny for the Old Guy

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without color,
Paralyzed force, gesture without motion:
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to deaths other Kingdom
Remember us-if at all-not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a swinging tree
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.
Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer-

Not the final meeting
In the twilight kingdom

This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.

Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.

The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

In this last of our meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reapper
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.


Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow

                                             For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existance
Between the essance
And the descent
Falls the Shadow

                                              For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.


-T.S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on September 02, 2008, 09:16:50 pm
"Go Die In a Forest Fire"
 -My Friend Brian
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on September 02, 2008, 09:31:54 pm
"Hemeroid-ectimy"

-My aunt on Christmas

Edit:

"God has a special providence for fools, drunks, and the United States of America."

-Otto von Bismarck
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on September 13, 2008, 06:43:30 pm
Bua-bump

"Which is better - to be born stupid into an intelligant society or intelligant into an insane one?" - Aldous Huxely, "Island"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on September 13, 2008, 06:44:08 pm
"It's not hip hop, it's Electro..."
-Ed
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Skyward on September 15, 2008, 05:07:57 pm
"Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am...and don't call me Shirley."
-Airplane, great movie
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on September 15, 2008, 08:23:26 pm
"I was involved in beating the sh*t out of this guy and then dumping him in the east river a few years ago. He was found barely alive and his family was shown on the news crying." - Anonymous Contributor, Group Hug Online Confessional.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on September 16, 2008, 02:35:52 pm
Some for renown, on scraps of learning dote, /And think they grow immortal as they quote.
  - Edward Young
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on September 17, 2008, 01:51:17 am
Nice find, Met. :)



"OH GAWD! Five animals have got a serious case of glowy mist. God knows we can't just send out some dudes with rifles, this job requires the immediate attention of the flagship of the Imperial Navy, and the most technologically advanced vessel ever created, with its city-destroying MEGA-LASER."
  - Krakow Sam
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on September 17, 2008, 07:35:30 am
That quote is win...

"At present, atomic power presents an exceptionally costly and inconvenient means of obtaining energy which can be extracted more economically from conventional fuels....The economics of atomic power are not attractive at present, nor are they likely to be for a long time in the future. This is expensive power, not cheap power as the public as been led to believe." -  C.G. Suits, Vice-President and Director of Research of General Electric, in a December 1950 speech.

Edit:

Quote from: Cobra
How did he ever manage to grasp the pickle matrix.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on October 03, 2008, 01:05:06 pm
The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation. Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction. Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring nations. Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation without representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization. Terrorism. Internet expansion. Reunification. Dissolution. World-Wide Web creation. Composition. Extrapolation?

Eric Schulman.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 04, 2008, 06:54:13 am
Government Pipe Specifications
1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole.

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

3. The I.D. (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (outside diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5. All pipe should be supplied without rust - this can be more readily applied at the job site. N.B. Some Vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipe. If available in your area, this product is recommended as it will save a lot of time on the job site.

6. All pipe over 500 ft (153m) in length should have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end, so the Contractor will know it is a long pipe.

7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must have the words "very long pipe" painted in the middle, so the Contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a very long pipe.

8. All pipe over 6" (152 mm) in diameter must have the words "large pipe" painted on it, so the Contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.

9. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for bolts quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

10. When ordering 90 degrees, 45 degrees or 30 degrees elbow, be sure to specify right hand or left hand; otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.

12. All couplings should have either right hand or left hand thread, but do not mix the threads - otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is unscrewed from the other.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on October 04, 2008, 02:22:54 pm
Which government, I fear to ask, Lego?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on October 04, 2008, 02:39:59 pm
No government. (http://www.jokes2go.com/lists/list60.html)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 04, 2008, 03:28:39 pm
Which government, I fear to ask, Lego?

Doh, I put this in the wrong thread. Eh, I'll leave it, it adds color.

That actually reads like a lot of US Government manuals. One of my favorite lines from a US Army manual was, "Pick up a porcupine only after you are sure it is dead."

-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 04, 2008, 05:57:36 pm
You don't hire ninjas for everyone you need to kill... that's what Italians are for!
 -Ask a Ninja
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on October 04, 2008, 06:18:44 pm
But Italian tanks only have one gear!


R!


Am I right?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on October 04, 2008, 06:19:27 pm
*rolls over Sam in a tank*

I guess so!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cobra on October 05, 2008, 05:02:31 pm
First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics and thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web wei've realized it's a brochure.

- Douglas Adams
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: shadowlord18 on October 05, 2008, 05:10:02 pm
the truth is a weapon and we all know you can't enter government buildings with a weapons
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on October 06, 2008, 10:25:40 am
Learn to go potty.

If one must live as a savage, one must at least try to be civilised about it.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 06, 2008, 03:08:30 pm
But Italian tanks only have one gear!


R!


Am I right?

Off-topic trivia, reverse is the most powerful gear in almost every tank ever built. It is a good thing to be able to get out of trouble faster than you got in to it.

-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Robertbobby91 on October 06, 2008, 04:10:12 pm
"I think therefore I am. I am, therefore I will never end."


I have no idea who said it. It may have been me.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: huggkruka on October 07, 2008, 01:27:47 am

Off-topic trivia, reverse is the most powerful gear in almost every tank ever built. It is a good thing to be able to get out of trouble faster than you got in to it.

-Lego


And you're still able to fire at the enemy.  ;D

"Whereas what we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary. " 

"You know, I myself dabbled in pacifism at one time. Not in 'nam, of course".
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 08, 2008, 07:38:14 am
"Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner!"
 - Some random web Machinima
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SBD on October 08, 2008, 08:54:31 am
"Real doctors have PhDs." My Animal Biology lecturer/tutor, during a discussion about doctors in families. (She has her PhD.)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on October 08, 2008, 05:17:20 pm
'So you think *I'm* the murderer? What do I have to do to convince you that I'm not, be the next victim?'/ 'Well, that would be a start.'
  - Peter Stone
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 08, 2008, 05:49:40 pm
"My mother and I own this motel that is getting kind of run down since the city added a highway away from us. Recently a very lovely woman came to our motel and I put her up in, well, my favorite room, but that I don’t really want to discuss right now. To make a long story short, my mother killed the woman while she was taking a shower. You see, mother gets jealous when other woman are around. Anyway, I found this poor woman where mother had left her dead on the bathroom floor. I don’t want my mother to go to prison so of course I got rid of the body and her car in a deep lake near our home. What was I supposed to do? She’s my mother. I hope no one hates my mother for this…really…she wouldn’t hurt a fly."

 - Anonymous Confession, Group Hug. com

>.>
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cobra on October 08, 2008, 06:30:17 pm
Well isn't he going to feel like an idiot when he finds out the car had a lot of money stashed inside... Assuming he doesn't already feel like an idiot for dressing up like his own mum.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 10, 2008, 10:20:11 pm
"I work at a university doing Functional Electric Stimulation. You’ve probably seen it on the news: paraplegic people made to walk with electrodes taped to their legs. Like everyone, I got into it thinking we were doing something good. A horrible incident happened today that caused me to have a serious breakdown. I realize we treat people like remote control toys and completely strip them of their dignity. If you could see us test the devices, you’d understand. For every 10 steps we make someone walk, there are two dozen instances where a wire is loose or in the wrong place and the person falls over and their legs convulse about uncontrollably like some kind of horrible Frankenstein. The justification is, of course, that these people are pioneers; others will enjoy walking because of the pain they went through. With kids, though, this is no excuse. Because of our alliance with a children’s hospital, 1/3 of our test subjects must be children.

My colleague incorrectly placed femoral electrodes on an 11-year-old girl and caused her to involuntarily urinate all over herself thereby short-circuiting the device and flopping over rigidly like a taser victim. Much worse, is the subjects are so dehumanized to us that I knew we were both thinking the same thing; how long until our circuit-breaking switch activates; the one thing we never had the chance to test. After staring at her on the floor for what felt like 30 seconds but was probably only 3, we knew that it wasn’t going to work and that the current had paralyzed her diaphram rendering her fully conscious, in pain, and unable to breathe or speak. As soon as we unplugged her I ran back to my office and fell to my knees. My ends will never again justify my means. Thank you for listening. Dr. J. P."

Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com 
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Robertbobby91 on October 12, 2008, 04:55:38 pm
Sad, hmmm
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on October 13, 2008, 06:23:21 pm
Quote from: Robertbobby91
I need not say anymore.

Guns don't kill people, physics kills people.  -3rd Rock from the Sun
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 14, 2008, 06:19:35 pm
"My bad coworker ordered a burrito on a spinach WRAP instead of on a chili wrap with spinach INSIDE like I had clearly written for him. This makes me think he doesn’t value the things I write on paper, which sometimes are burrito orders but sometimes are also phone numbers."

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com 
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 15, 2008, 05:51:11 pm
You learn far more from negative leadership than from positive leadership. Because you learn how not to do it. And, therefore, you learn how to do it.

Norman Schwarzkopf
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 15, 2008, 09:36:39 pm
"I had shmex with myself the other day. It wasn’t the best idea, as I am now having back spasms. My little soldier is also contorted so that I cannot get it up anymore."

Viva ******!"

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com, Edited for content.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on October 17, 2008, 10:07:01 am
"...colleges being nothing but grooming schools for the middle-class non-identity which usually finds its perfect expression on the outskirts of the campus in rows of well-to-do houses with lawns and television sets is each living room with everybody looking at the same thing and thinking the same thing at the same time while the Japhies of the world go prowling in the wilderness...” - Jack Kerouac.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on October 18, 2008, 04:34:15 pm
How many licks to the center of a marble?
 - Harry from 3rd Rock from the Sun
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 18, 2008, 09:59:36 pm
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Ronald Reagan

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Ronald Reagan

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
Ronald Reagan

It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.
Ronald Reagan

Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.
Ronald Reagan

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.
Ronald Reagan

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Ronald Reagan

-and my favorite-

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.
Ronald Reagan


-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: MetallicDragon on October 19, 2008, 12:14:31 am

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.
Ronald Reagan


I literally laughed out loud. Those were great, thanks for sharing them.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on October 19, 2008, 09:11:42 am
    Silence is more musical than any song.
        Christina Rossetti
        English poet (1830 - 1894)

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on October 19, 2008, 12:38:32 pm
May it not suffice for me to say . . . that, of course, like every other man of intelligence and education, I do believe in organic evolution. It surprises me that at this late date such questions should be raised.

—Woodrow Wilson (1922)

 :(
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 19, 2008, 02:57:27 pm
Many interviewers when they come to talk to me, think they're being progressive by not mentioning in their stories any longer that I'm black. I tell them, 'Don't stop now. If I shot somebody you'd mention it.'
Colin Powell

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on October 21, 2008, 07:17:56 pm
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
  - Galileo Galilei
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on October 21, 2008, 07:23:08 pm
Do not ask which creature screams in the night, Do not question who waits for you in the shadow. It is my cry that wakes you in the night, And my body that crouches in the shadow. I am Tzeench and you are the puppet that dances to my tune.


~Karanzantor the Vile
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 21, 2008, 08:31:53 pm
I drank what?
-Socrates
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 25, 2008, 04:42:17 pm
"When I flew back to Vietnam to visit family, there was a monk there who tried to pursue me. He stole a picture of me from my brother, who was becoming a monk. Monks aren’t supposed to touch girls, but he would try somehow to touch my hand. The last day I was there, he told me, in broken english, that he loved me. I just laughed it off and went away. A year later, a letter came from the head monk. he wrote of how my creepy monk was on the roof, and he fell off. He broke his leg and I was happy."


- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Xenomorph on October 25, 2008, 04:48:29 pm
''See the point of the game is that you are HIT-LER, and what you're trying to do is....''

''I'm sorry i was high. wait, WHAT!??!?!''


~Dave from Codemonkeys
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on October 25, 2008, 04:50:10 pm
I'll drink your...MILKSHAKE!!!!!

-There Will be Blood
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on October 26, 2008, 08:04:41 am
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

    Unknown
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 26, 2008, 10:35:54 am
"It is said that a wise man who stands firm is a statesman, and a foolish man who stands firm is a catastrophe."

- Admiral Hyman G. Rickover, so called father of the American Navy.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on October 27, 2008, 08:16:55 pm
"I am the tax collector.  I vant to suck your bank account."
"I do not need the food.  I do not need the drink.  I feast off the money of the people I tax."
"People say I have to pay taxes as well.  But I am the Tax Collector.  I have to pay nothing.  Wait, that's wrong.  I had to pay my soul when I joined.  But who needs a soul?  It just gets in the way of being a tax collector."
"Being a tax collector, I have contacts in hell and thus can tax half the dead.  I tried to tax the other half by throwing a rock at the sky and hoping they'd notice me but all I got was a lightening bolt to the head.  You know, he throws a lot of those at me.  I wonder if he's payed his electricity tax yet."
"I am not Pro-Life.  I am not Pro-Choice.  I am Pro-Force.  I believe in forced abortions for all."
"There is a Light tax for being in the light.  There is a Dark tax for being in the dark."
"We have a tax for being male, a tax for being female, and if you come up with anything else, there's a tax for being that too."
"If you have blue eyes, you will get a blue eye tax.  If you have green eyes, you will get a green eyes tax.  If you have brown eyes, you will get a brown eyes tax.  ... much later... If you gouged out your eyes as I was telling you this, you will get a Gouged out Eyes Tax.  If you were born with no eyes, you will get a No Eyes tax."
"That one kid called me gay.  That's an insulting the tax collector tax."
-Me, in my Tax Collector Costume during a Halloween Party
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on October 27, 2008, 08:42:50 pm
Forgot the taxing tax. ;) :)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on October 27, 2008, 08:44:18 pm
Ooh.  A tax for being taxed.
Wish I'd thought of it last night.
And one I forgot:
"Yes!  I have succeeded!  I am glorious!  Pay my glory tax, please."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on October 27, 2008, 08:52:39 pm
lol, that one is pretty nicely executed! :D

Just curious, but what were the other people's reactions? :)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on October 27, 2008, 08:56:58 pm
Even the Democrats laughed, except this one anarchist who just hit me with his plastic sword and didn't speak.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Slartibartfast on October 27, 2008, 11:03:50 pm
"Doubtless these means [of attaining power] are cruel and destructive of all civilized life, and neither Christian nor even human, and should be avoided by every one." -- Niccolo Machiavelli  Discourses on Livy
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 28, 2008, 06:36:46 am
"A house can have integrity, just like a person; and just as seldom."

- Howard Roark, The Fountainhead

Edit: It's how the rich will eliminate all the other classes. When bullets are too much of a bother, just use cash fired at high velocity! - Some random poster, Bethesda Fallout 3 forums.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on October 29, 2008, 06:19:32 pm
O o
/¯________________________
| BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
\_¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

best quote I ever found
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on October 29, 2008, 09:14:10 pm
"The story of scientist Yacob making white people makes alot of sense of why white people are so cold and do more evil things…"

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com

"I collect my farts in mason jars. I put little labels on the outsides, each containing the date and time of the gaseous expulsion trapped within.

Do people in the US do this at all, or is this tradition only upheld here in Quebec?"

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 31, 2008, 11:17:54 am
"To show you what a difference retirement makes. Last year when I gave an order, 541,000 men and women jumped," he explained. "Now I can't even get the plumber to come over." -Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." -Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr.

"I believe that forgiving them is God's function. Our job is to arrange the meeting." -Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 01, 2008, 12:57:50 pm
"Im a 31 year old male. When I was 23 I killed a man in a hit and run, I just couldn’t stop to see if he was ok. I was drunk and scared. There were no witnesses and I hid the car in my garage and did my own body work to cover it up. I remember watching it on the news and just feeling a total disconnect from reality. I really think of myself as a good person and I’m constantly trying to do good things to make up for it. But deep down I know I’m just a coward, and that If I would of stopped and taken responsibility that man may still be alive today. I wish I would have gotten caught, then at least I might be able to live with the guilt. I really am a **** person, no matter how hard I try to hide it. I should be dead."

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com

"Pedophiles are the scum of the earth.

Yep, right next to the ****ing French."

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com



"The funniest people in the world to me are liberals. Nothing funnier than a group of retards who have their heads so stuck in the ground that they’d support terrorists and terrorist supporting countries because they don’t like Bush.

Its amazing that these people talk about womens right and all that stuff but Bush has done more for womens rights worldwide than they have. Or did they miss that part where Islamofacists blame women for rape or kill them for showing a little skin.

It seems ironic to me but the true racists and sexists in this country are quickly becoming the egotistical, ignorant liberals who have no clue."


- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. com

Is this how all conservatives view Liberals?

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Inkling on November 01, 2008, 10:12:00 pm
Do you quote anything other than Group Hug?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 01, 2008, 11:20:49 pm
It's the only reliable source of Internet wisdom I have since my browser does a 180 every time I try to go to wikiquote.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on November 02, 2008, 08:28:47 am
That's how I view the liberal politicians.  I just view most liberals as being who the liberal politicians have managed to trick.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 02, 2008, 09:35:47 am
That's how I view the liberal politicians.  I just view most liberals as being who the liberal politicians have managed to trick.

Grangan, I have the exact same view with conservative politicians.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on November 02, 2008, 07:38:25 pm
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
Mel Brooks

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on November 03, 2008, 12:52:29 am
That's how I view the liberal politicians.  I just view most liberals as being who the liberal politicians have managed to trick.

Grangan, I have the exact same view with conservative politicians.

Well, aren't we bigoted?

http://www.cosmosmagazine.com/news/2202/study-calm-people-are-liberal-skittish-are-conservative
http://www.latimes.com/news/science/la-sci-politics10sep10,0,5982337.story?coll=la-home-center
http://www.latimes.com/news/science/la-sci-politics19-2008sep19,0,514047.story

Yes, all those stupid brainwashed Liberals, with their tolerance. Pathetic, isn't it?

Seeing the 'enemy' politicians as some kind of pantomime villain is a really stupid viewpoint to have. Amazingly, they are people who disagree with you, not the blind minions of the Dark Lord Barack. There, is an example of a 'Conservative Brain' Knee-jerk reaction. I don't understand these people, ergo they are brainwashed.

Brainwashed? What's the greatest country in the world? 'America!'  Who are the bad guys? 'Muslims!' Yes, we're the brainwashed ones. 

All those articles are American and thus pretend Socialism doesn't exist, so.....I don't know what supposedly makes me tick.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on November 03, 2008, 05:42:45 am
That's how I view the liberal politicians.  I just view most liberals as being who the liberal politicians have managed to trick.

i think that just shows a total lack of being able to see things from others (or maybe just liberals') points of view.
Decentre a bit more.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on November 03, 2008, 05:47:39 am
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: shadowlord18 on November 04, 2008, 09:08:58 pm
Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand< random chatter
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on November 05, 2008, 04:09:20 pm
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.
  - E. B. White
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on November 05, 2008, 04:29:50 pm
"Watching V [for Vendetta] for the 5th of November is like watching Independence Day for the 4th of July."

-Inkling
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on November 05, 2008, 05:14:01 pm
"So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on November 05, 2008, 05:58:47 pm
“We have always said that in our war with the Arabs we had a secret weapon – no alternative.”
- Prime Minister of Israel, Golda Meir, 3 October 1969
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on November 05, 2008, 06:45:09 pm
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
it."


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend
. . . if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 05, 2008, 07:30:04 pm
"Racism is simply an ugly form of collectivism, the mindset that views humans strictly as members of groups rather than individuals. Racists believe that all individuals who share superficial physical characteristics are alike: as collectivists, racists think only in terms of groups. By encouraging Americans to adopt a group mentality, the advocates of so-called "diversity" actually perpetuate racism. Their obsession with racial group identity is inherently racist. The true antidote to racism is liberty. Liberty means having a limited, constitutional government devoted to the protection of individual rights rather than group claims. Liberty means free-market capitalism, which rewards individual achievement and competence, not skin color, gender, or ethnicity."

- Ron Paul
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on November 06, 2008, 01:13:34 am
atleast now blacks in america might stop asking for reparations.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on November 06, 2008, 10:28:01 am
atleast now blacks in america might stop asking for reparations.
Yeah, there was a discussion at work yesterday about removing blacks from the Affirmitive Action list. I give it six months before it becomes a news issue.
-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Inkling on November 06, 2008, 11:12:49 am
Huh, I was thinking just the opposite, that there would be a new push for reparations.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Consideration on November 06, 2008, 11:42:55 am
"Racism is simply an ugly form of collectivism, the mindset that views humans strictly as members of groups rather than individuals. Racists believe that all individuals who share superficial physical characteristics are alike: as collectivists, racists think only in terms of groups. By encouraging Americans to adopt a group mentality, the advocates of so-called "diversity" actually perpetuate racism. Their obsession with racial group identity is inherently racist. The true antidote to racism is liberty. Liberty means having a limited, constitutional government devoted to the protection of individual rights rather than group claims. Liberty means free-market capitalism, which rewards individual achievement and competence, not skin color, gender, or ethnicity."

- Ron Paul

Ah yes, Racism is caused by Socialism! This makes perfect sense, according to the 'Everything I dislike goes in one category' Logic that dubbed Obama a Christian-Extremist-Islamic-Terrorist-Communist.

Some fun facts about free market Capitalism:

2,200,000,000 - number of children in the world.

1,000,000,000 - number of children in poverty.

1,300,000,000 - number of people with no access to clean water.

6,000 - number of children who die every day because they don’t have clean water.

$9,000,000,000 (US) - amount of money needed to make clean drinking water and sanitation available to everyone on earth.

$12,000,000,000 (US) - amount spent on perfumes per year in the United States and Europe.

3,000,000,000 - number of people who live on less than two US dollars a day.

31,000 - number of children who die each day due to poverty.

$1,540,000,000,000 (US) - amount of money controlled by the world’s 497 billionaires.

$146,000,000,000 (US) - combined incomes of 582,000,000 people living in the 43 least developed countries.

640,000,000 - number of children without adequate shelter.

200,000,000 - number of children who sleep in the streets each night.

0 - number of homeless children in socialist Cuba.

15,100 - number of people per doctor in Haiti.

470 - number of people per doctor in the United States.

290 - number of people per doctor in socialist Cuba.

93.35 - number of infants under 1-year-old who die per every thousand in Haiti.

7 - number of infants under 1-year-old who die per every thousand born in the United States

5.8 - number of infants under 1-year-old who die per every thousand born in socialist Cuba.

270,000,000 - number of children with no access to health care.

2,200,000 - number of children who die each year because they were not immunized.

100 - percent of children in socialist Cuba with access to absolutely free, quality healthcare.

86 - percent of the world’s goods consumed by 20% of the population of first world industrialized countries.

More than 800,000,000 - number of people who can’t read or sign their name.

121,000,000 - number of children without an education

$6,000,000,000 (US) - amount of money needed to provide a basic education to everyone on earth.

$11,000,000,000 (US) - amount of money spent on ice cream each year in Europe.

$329,000,000,000 (US) - amount of military spending by the United States each year.

250,000,000 - number of children under the age of 15 who have to work to survive.

Oh, and before 'Soshillist bias!', those are UN statistics.

"The State is the altar of political freedom and, like the religious altar, it is maintained for the purpose of human sacrifice. "
Emma Goldman

“Does it follow that I reject all authority? Perish the thought. In the matter of boots, I defer to the authority of the boot-maker."
Mikhail Bakunin

“If there be a human being who is freer than I, then I shall necessarily become his slave. If I am freer than any other, then he will become my slave. Therefore equality is an absolutely necessary condition of freedom.”
Mikhail Bakunin

"You can kill ten of my men for every one I kill of yours, but even at those odds, you will lose and I will win. "
Ho Chi Minh






Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on November 06, 2008, 04:00:31 pm
to me the largest concern i have for America is its healthcare. Honestly why don't you guys have free health care by now? i don't understand.

you've got a nation of people who vote for their values and not their interests. It is in everyones interests to be atleast a bit socialist and do things such as free education (as far as possible), free healthcare etc but America seems to think anything socialist is inherently evil. Being a lnit socialist is working pretty damn well for everyone else.

Heres a little snippet of the world healthcare rankings,

35        Dominica
36        Costa Rica
37        United States of America
38        Slovenia
39        Cuba
40        Brunei

look at the countries america's level is on. i don't understand that at all. America should be 3rd at least

i think Ron Paul is correct in saying that group thought leads to racism. but saying freedom fixes racism is just retarded. It doesn't

i hate when everyone thinks something is correct just because it is articulately presented.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on November 06, 2008, 05:19:11 pm
At the risk of going OT, I can answer that. There is a opinion held by a significant number here in America that the companies need that money, and that reducing the actual prices will harm drug research and development because that costs alot of money. This pro-business approach as well as the whole tax breaks for the rich and big companies (the money will trickle down to everyone else, or so they say) is adamantly defended by segments of the population. And the party that contains some of that segment recently lost the election big time, so we may see changes but not large ones, I think. That opinion is held by many so undertaking it may be political suicide.

Also, the term socialism in America is the "new" communism. You fling it at politics and policies you do not like to smear them. "Thats what communists socialist would do!"

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on November 06, 2008, 05:48:29 pm
Hear hear, Mr. C!

<stamps foot>
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on November 06, 2008, 06:05:51 pm
You do know, Mr. Consideration, that the UN is socialist, correct?   :P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on November 06, 2008, 06:08:37 pm
I fail to see how an international law-keeping and humanitarian organization could possibly be labeled socialist or capitalist.

Also, the words socialism, socialist, and liberal don't appear once on their wikipedia page.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 06, 2008, 09:11:19 pm
You do know, Mr. Consideration, that the UN is socialist, correct?   :P

Grangan, I believe the correct word here would be humanitarian.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Inkling on November 06, 2008, 10:31:34 pm
I think what Grangan is (poorly) trying to get at is that the countries that make up the UN are less than capitalist, or have views or goals different from the US.  Let's look at the security council, which has always included Russia and China, and currently includes Lybia.  Countries with not the best track records in the past, with either former or current Communist trends, and less than stellar human rights records.

However, this has nothing to do with the UN's ability to gather statistics.


We have other threads for political stuff, let's get back to the quotes.

J: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
k: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on November 07, 2008, 01:41:46 am
You do know, Mr. Consideration, that the UN is socialist, correct?   :P
Grangan, I believe the correct word here would be humanitarian.

No, the correct term is "****ing useless." 



anyway here's a random quote

Democracy is an abuse of statistics.
Jorge Luis Borges


Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on November 07, 2008, 10:17:15 am
My family takes "All you can eat" as a personal challenge.
  - Malcolm in the Middle
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on November 07, 2008, 01:34:30 pm
How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right expression.
    D. H. Lawrence
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 07, 2008, 08:10:28 pm
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with senses, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use"

- Galileo Galilei

"In questions of science the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual."

- Galileo Galilei
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on November 08, 2008, 11:27:58 am
"The reason I don't jog is because the Jogger always finds the dead body. You never find a dead body when you're just sitting in your living room, eating ice cream and watching porn." -Dave Atell

I thought this was hilarious. And, FYI, I do jog.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on November 08, 2008, 01:50:59 pm

Imagination is more important than knowledge...
    Albert Einstein
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on November 08, 2008, 02:00:24 pm
Our ratings system is powered by a complex network of ropes and pulleys hooked up to a series of punchcard machines that work away automatically tallying the scores. It’s so confusing we’re not even sure how it works.
-MaxisCactus

http://forum.spore.com/jforum/posts/list/11213.page

-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on November 08, 2008, 07:26:34 pm
Ye frail mortals who gaze upon this sight, forget not the fate of Met, once mighty, now surrendered to the inescapable grasp of destiny. Requiescat in pace.

-My tombstone in Runescape

(http://www.runeweb.net/images/content/388/stone_angel.gif)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 08, 2008, 08:54:30 pm
"If being a kid is about learning how to live, then being a grown-up is about learning how to die."

- Stephen King, Christine

"I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it’s a very poor scheme for survival."

- Kurt Vonnegut

"It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about?"

- Henry David Thoreau

"Creationists make it sound as though a "theory" is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night."

- Issac Asimov
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on November 08, 2008, 09:02:03 pm
I never got a tombstone! I just last log off around 2000 and then try to log on 3 years later and I was not there. Not surprising, its just a shame I took all those very rare items with me instead of passing them on. The party hats... oh well.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on November 09, 2008, 12:38:41 pm
On Uwe Boll:
One camp is convinced that he is "the only genius in the whole ****ing business" - a better filmmaker than Steven Spielberg, Fritz Lang, Akira Kurosawa, John Huston, Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola, Billy Wilder, Franco Zefferelli, Robert Wiene, Sergio Leone, F.W. Murnau, and Ingmar Bergman combined, and that Video Gamers Are Morons. This camp consists of Uwe Boll.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on November 09, 2008, 12:44:52 pm
Power consists in one's capacity to link his will with the purpose of others, to lead by reason and a gift of cooperation.
    Woodrow Wilson
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 09, 2008, 08:26:52 pm
Quote from: Patman33
"I will share my view.

The Republicans can not lose because the American people will not elect a woman or a black man in 2008, try again in 2012.



I'll check back in a year when the topic is pertinent to see if I am right.

*leaves*"

 ;D

Link: http://www.gamingsteve.com/blab/index.php?topic=9543.msg369545#msg369545
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on November 09, 2008, 09:09:12 pm
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on November 09, 2008, 09:10:48 pm

Proper quote with link please.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on November 11, 2008, 05:51:32 am
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."
-George Carlin on God
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 11, 2008, 09:20:29 pm
"They say if you really hate something it’s an indication of something you are. For instance, rabid gay bashers are usually repressed homosexuals. Well, I hate black people. Does that mean I’m really a black person?"

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug dot Com, edited for racial content.

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on November 12, 2008, 03:44:11 am
thats not really clever at all.

just reply with "No its makes you a total **** whos life and personality must be so bland the only thing you have to identify yourself by is the colour of your skin."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: MetallicDragon on November 12, 2008, 08:33:18 am
thats not really clever at all.

just reply with "No its makes you a total **** whos life and personality must be so bland the only thing you have to identify yourself by is the colour of your skin."

It's called a joke.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on November 15, 2008, 07:50:28 pm
"Sir, we are surrounded!" "Excellent, now we can attack in any direction."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on November 15, 2008, 07:56:01 pm
Hahahahahahaha.

Who said that, Kaizer?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: eropS on November 15, 2008, 07:56:58 pm
"Sir, we are surrounded!" "Excellent, now we can attack in any direction."

Awesome.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 15, 2008, 08:22:45 pm
"Sir, we are surrounded!" "Excellent, now we can attack in any direction."

A fail so epic it might just be a win.  ;D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on November 15, 2008, 08:48:59 pm
Hahahahahahaha.

Who said that, Kaizer?

Got it off the battleships forever forums
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Summoner on November 16, 2008, 09:29:56 am
i rember that from a movie but i forgot which movie.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 16, 2008, 10:05:18 am
"Commie bastards are putting earnings reports and medical charts all over the ****ing wastes in another of their bizarre schemes to undermine the American Way!"

- Random Forumite, No Mutants Allowed forums


"CAN I HAZ POSTCOUNT?! IT MAKE MY E-PENIS BIGGER!"

- Met
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on November 17, 2008, 03:44:16 am
Yeah, a lot of snowballing potential. But have you ever considdered that instead of continuing to hype for Spore, the Roleplaying will get too big for the game itself, and become it's own site / subculture of alien race inventing? Like, an entire new thing just dedicated to what we do here on the Creation Corner, only completely unrelated to Spore? Because that's where it's going, if it gets that huge. Eventually it's going to expand so much that it has to seperate from Spore. Eventually, there will be people making races who haven't ever even heard of Spore, and this whole thing will be just an open story galactic RP combined with a forum in which people create alien races.

Not that that's a bad thing.

All of this has given me a greeeaat idea for a new website...  ;D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on November 17, 2008, 12:33:50 pm
 
Evil brings men together.
    Aristotle
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 17, 2008, 05:51:51 pm
"Dimensionally finite... but the stupidity is infinite."

- MasterChiToes
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on November 17, 2008, 07:34:32 pm
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on November 17, 2008, 08:38:45 pm
That is one strange professor... >_>
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 17, 2008, 08:43:53 pm
I want him as my professor.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on November 17, 2008, 10:35:13 pm
Quote
A large number of religious holy books, like The Bible, the Qur'an or a FORTRAN programming guide
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on November 18, 2008, 06:25:11 am
Quote
In March 1925 Tennessee passed new legislation called the Butler Act. That bill made unlawful the teaching in public schools “that man descended from a lower order of animals.”1

Learning of this new law, the fledgling American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), which had yet to win a court victory,2 announced its desire to challenge the law.

Newspapers carried the ACLU’s press release: “We are looking for a Tennessee teacher who is willing to accept our services in testing this law in the courts.”3

In the struggling town of Dayton, mine manager George Rappleyea spotted the story in the Chattanooga Times. Chatting with the school board chairman, a local lawyer, and others, Rappleyea suggested a scheme “to get Dayton a little publicity.” They would persuade a teacher to say that he had taught evolution so that the ACLU would try their case in Dayton.4

The conspirators approached John Scopes. Would he go along with their plan? Although Scopes wasn’t even the biology teacher (he was only filling in for the ill biology teacher the last two weeks of the school year), he agreed to “confess” that he had taught evolution.5 After a brief trial, Scopes was found guilty and fined $100.

During the trial Scopes never took the stand and later admitted privately that he had not actually taught evolution.6 Not until 42 years later did Tennessee opt to retire the Butler Act.

The Scopes Trial:

 1. At issue during the trial was a law that had been passed by the Tennessee State Legislature, which prohibited the teaching of human evolution but not animal and plant evolution.

(True. The Butler Act forbade public school teachers in Tennessee to deny the literal biblical account of man’s origin and to teach in its place the evolution of man from lower animals. The law did not prohibit the teaching of evolution of any other species of plant or animal.)

2. John Scopes was the persecuted school teacher who was immediately jailed for teaching evolution when his classroom was invaded. He remained in jail throughout the trial.

(False. His classroom was never invaded as depicted in Inherit the Wind, and he was never jailed or in danger of imprisonment.)

3. Throughout the trial, the definition of the term evolution was so muddled by the defense and its witnesses that it seems unlikely that any of the jurors could have known exactly what evolution is and is not.

(True. Evolution was repeatedly confused with such ideas like embryology and aging.)

4. The students of John Scopes were coached by the defense team to perjure themselves by saying they were taught evolution in the classroom.

(True. Famous evolutionist attorney Clarence Darrow, who was supposed to defend his client from a law that forbade the teaching of evolution, coached the students to lie and claim that Scopes taught evolution, when in fact he didn’t.)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on November 18, 2008, 09:38:24 am
"Here's a bunch of ignorant ****.

School Uniforms.

Bad theory! The idea that if kids wear uniforms to school it helps keep order. Don't schools do enough damage by making kids think alike? Now they're making them look alike too?

And it's not a new idea. I saw it in news reals from the 1930's. But it was hard to understand because the narration was in german."

-George Carlin
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Retsek on November 18, 2008, 10:10:10 am
"One step closer to the end of the world. The one-two combo of corporate greed and organised religion apparently proved to be too much for reason, sanity and compassion." -
  --  Trent reznor
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 20, 2008, 07:39:41 am
"Abolish higher education!" yells the leader of the underground Neo-Socialist Workers Party at a rally in the center of the capitol. "We don't need stuffy intellectuals to tell us how to live. Equality for all!"

Remind you of anyone?  :P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on November 21, 2008, 10:58:06 pm
Moments that seem like they can change both me
And even the world are always right next to me...   

Gazing at the irritation I can't hide and myself as I stand stock still

Despite my hesitation, despite my worries, despite my regrets, I should decide
With one word you've given me, my bewilderment vanishes

Light shone in my once empty room

The sky I gazed up at is so blue and serene
I decided to open up a window that was shut
Moments that seem like they can change both me
And even the world are always right next to me...

Searching for answers that must be in the unfulfillable everyday

If I turn around towards the lonesome, gentle voice in the sunlight

You unexpectedly smile in the midst of brilliant sunlight
I'm about to open up a window that was shut

An existence that seems like it can change both me
And even the world is right in front of my eyes...
   
The sky I gazed up at is so blue and serene
I decided to open up a window that was shut
Right now, I sense here a moment that seems
Like it can change me and even the world...
Spread both your hands towards the light...


 8)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 22, 2008, 08:27:10 pm
"I’m German and I spent a year abroad, where I met a lot of Americans. I think most of them are freaking shallow, but I’m close to graduating from college and now I’m considering to move to the US to work on my PhD thesis because the average American girl looks so much better than chicks around here, and they are so much f***ing easier to get… Damn, American chicks are good in bed…"

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug dot Com.

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on November 23, 2008, 02:40:28 am
HAHAHAHAHA!

i wonder who said that.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on November 23, 2008, 02:43:56 am
By no large strain of imagination, Doctor Z I bet.  :P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on November 23, 2008, 03:12:20 am
yeah i got the feeling from him that he's a professer and a Playa  :P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on November 25, 2008, 08:08:09 pm
"Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!"

-Karl Marx, when asked by his housekeeper, on his deathbed, if he had any last words.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on November 29, 2008, 01:41:24 pm
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
    Albert Einstein
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on November 29, 2008, 10:52:23 pm
Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on December 01, 2008, 12:50:43 pm
Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades

Who said that?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on December 01, 2008, 01:09:00 pm
A good friend of mine during a game of call of duty 4
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 01, 2008, 07:24:02 pm
A good friend of mine during a game of call of duty 4

It's an old quote. He didn't come up with it.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kaizer on December 01, 2008, 07:35:56 pm
okay well thats where i heard it so ya...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 01, 2008, 07:42:22 pm
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."

 - T.S. Eliot
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on December 02, 2008, 09:32:13 am
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.
Maya Angelou
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 04, 2008, 01:46:36 pm
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
  - Bill Vaughan

Not every story has explosions and car chases. That's why they have nudity and espionage.
  - Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on December 09, 2008, 06:38:05 am
"kind of like how we party at the end of our annual cycle by paying a ridiculous cover charge to get into an otherwise cruddy bar where we’re given a thimble of cheap sparkling wine, which we drink and then make-out awkwardly with some guy we just met because god damn it it’s New Year’s and we’ll be damned if we’re going to spend it alone like last year, crying into a tub of ice cream and passing out in front of Dick Clark at 10:30pm. I mean, I guess some people might celebrate like that. In your time. Ahem." - some lady named Rebecca. I thought it was funny.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 09, 2008, 07:32:22 am
"If you're a real American that is, an American Indian you're lucky to be alive. For whether he really believed it or not, the white man has acted on the principle that "The only good Indian is a dead one". This was certainly one of the foundation stones upon which the white European invaders of North America and their descendants established and built the republic of the U.S.A."

-Stetson Kennedy
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on December 11, 2008, 07:28:25 am
 emuscles
7:03 AM on Wed Mar 28 2007

"think about this..

..gran turismo (comparable in many ways to armored core), while done well, think about what you're actually doing in the game.. yeah; you're steering a virtual car over terrain as best as you can. doesn't sound so fun when you think about what it truly is.

however for whichever psychological reason, we basically know why it's appealing.

this is how i view armored core, except of course it doesn't have that common 'connection' most would make.

--it's not like your dad would be thinking about how baller it would be piloting that NEXT he can't afford.

i've been enjoying this game, as bad as it may be."
--Kotaku Member

 :D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on December 11, 2008, 09:05:21 pm
Brawndo, the Thirst Mutilator!
It's like a MONSTER TRUCK you can POUR into your FACE!
-Idiocracy
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 11, 2008, 09:16:32 pm
"The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms - greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind, and greed - you mark my words - will not only save Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you."

- Gordon Gekko, Wall Street
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 12, 2008, 10:01:45 pm
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
  - Laurence J. Peter
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on December 13, 2008, 10:34:52 am
A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
George W. Bush
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 13, 2008, 11:22:28 am
A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
George W. Bush

Out of context, that sounds a lot worse.

July 21, 2001

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/32902_bush27.shtml
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brutus on December 13, 2008, 01:45:45 pm
A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
George W. Bush

While i would want to keep my country democratic i completely agree with that.

In a dictatorship you don't have to bother with all that election malarcy or a hierarchal government. Just one guy whose whim is demanded.

Definatly easier, but not neccesarily better. Easier in the same way it's easier to wash your car just by spraying a hose at it for a bit rather than actually giving it a good scrubbing.

the fact he said that only shows that he actually knows a few little bits of information.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 13, 2008, 11:31:52 pm
"Trucker's Choice Pep Pills.

Keeping you dangerously alert since 1951."

- generalissimofurioso, NMA
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on December 14, 2008, 04:34:52 pm
"Knights of Columbus, that hurt!"
-Ron Burgundy
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on December 16, 2008, 09:35:58 pm
 Maybe I can try to keep in "Good person mode" more.
-me
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 17, 2008, 03:03:07 pm
"Recession? Not for me!"
 - Jim Carrey
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on December 17, 2008, 03:27:58 pm
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
-Albert Einstein

"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
-Albert Einstein"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 17, 2008, 07:46:30 pm
"

I used to be a surgeon.

My former practice and colleges believe that I have moved to the east coast to follow an online love interest. I keep a P.O. box in New York to give the illusion that I am settled in with my new bride, “Patricia.” Unfortunately this reality exists only in the minds of a few of my former acquaintances and of my sister (who is my only remaining family member).

The truth of my whereabouts is considerably more deviant than settling down with a retirement fund and a casual fly-fishing hobby.

Once I left home, I immediately set in motion a project that has been a dream of mine since medical school. I began by abducting my subjects. I waited in dimly lit subway stations and outside of homeless shelters for transients. I needed them to be the type of people who would not be missed at work or in their social lives; people with a completely static citizenship.

Once I had amassed 8 drifters (4 males and 4 females) I sedated them and brought them to a plot of land I purchased several years ago in the southern rocky mountains. I was then faced with the challenge of keeping the lot sedated while I carried out their metamorphoses.

The transformation consisted of 3 steps.
1.) A very large frontal lobotomy, leaving the subject unable to even speak, write, tie a knot or refrain from drooling constantly.
2.) The Subject is then blinded. Although anesthetic is employed, I feel that the process need not be any more barbaric than necessary. A complete extraction of all ocular organs is my method of choice.
3.) The teeth are dramatically sharpened.

Now the procedures are long done and my subjects were nursed back to health. I simply let them roam as they will, feeding them daily, and observing their habbits. Although my original 8 shrunk to 5 after 15 months, the sole remaining female was impregnated by the largest of the subjects one spring morning.

By my count, the baby is due January 14th of 2009"

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug.com

This is by far the most disturbing confession I have ever read on this site.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on December 17, 2008, 07:49:44 pm
Oh my god!  Yes, I used the Lord's name in vain for emphasis!  This instances needs it!  Oh my goddamn ****ing goddamn god!
-me, in response to AR's last post
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on December 18, 2008, 02:23:29 pm
Andrew, you quote group hug too much.  Seriously.

Ever heard of lying?  How do we know this person is telling the truth?

That was kind of unnecessary, though, Grangan.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on December 18, 2008, 02:41:19 pm
Woah.  I think this guy doesn't look at how serious some of these confessions are :
i tell really bad jokes and enjoy it a little…i dont enjoy the jokes they’re horrendous i just enjoy telling them and wasting other peoples time by telling them…i wonder if theres such thing as bad joke tellers anonymous?

EDIT:
I kill kittens by throwing them out in front of cars. I enjoy it. and I dont think there is anything wrong with it. everyone else on here is more ****ed up than me.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 19, 2008, 06:55:34 pm
I don't know the devil, I've never met him and I didn't give him a brown paper bag filled with unmarked $50 notes.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 20, 2008, 11:45:52 am
"Necrophilia Lad! How could you?!"

- Random Quote.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on December 20, 2008, 11:49:14 am
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
    Unknown
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 20, 2008, 06:55:21 pm
"I was having a really bad day, so I faked some numbers and hacked CERN.
Now they think their model doesn’t work, and they’re spending billions on new experiments.
Also, I sabotaged the ****in’ LHC to explode and destroy CERN. I don’t hate scientists, I’m just an *******."

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug dot com.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Doomsday on December 20, 2008, 07:04:28 pm
Andrew, you really do quote that site to much. That idiot probably doesn't even realize that the LHC is down for repairs and non-operational, all the actual equipment is likely to be on a closed network (IE, not online), and that CERN's main headquarters aren't near the LHC. So I'm going to assume you're quoting people you know are idiots and/or liars for the sake of quoting someone.

"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow.""What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 20, 2008, 07:08:31 pm
Andrew, you really do quote that site to much. That idiot probably doesn't even realize that the LHC is down for repairs and non-operational, all the actual equipment is likely to be on a closed network (IE, not online), and that CERN's main headquarters aren't near the LHC. So I'm going to assume you're quoting people you know are idiots and/or liars for the sake of quoting someone.

"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow.""What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?"

Yep. That and the fact that the quotes on wiki quote are kinda limited.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kratok on December 20, 2008, 10:51:13 pm
Well, theres a lot of different places to quote other than wiki, and quotes generally are for using another persons words for your own meaning.

Though I would totally do that second-to-last one. Sounds damn fun. Maybe not actually blind them though. Heee. =D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on December 21, 2008, 12:36:58 am
"ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!"
- Almost every single person in Code Geass
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on December 21, 2008, 05:25:24 am
Andrew, you really do quote that site to much. That idiot probably doesn't even realize that the LHC is down for repairs and non-operational, all the actual equipment is likely to be on a closed network (IE, not online), and that CERN's main headquarters aren't near the LHC. So I'm going to assume you're quoting people you know are idiots and/or liars for the sake of quoting someone.

"Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow.""What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?"

Yep. That and the fact that the quotes on wiki quote are kinda limited.
Forum rule 18: You don't have to post.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: SBD on December 21, 2008, 06:12:40 am
"It's just an umbrella. I mean wheelbarrow."

"Wait, who's side was France on in the First World War?"

-Mum
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on December 21, 2008, 11:57:16 am
Don't use Wiki quotes then.

"Wikipedia is not very reliable.  Trust me".

-Lots of people.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 25, 2008, 10:12:26 pm
EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.



The CD booklet [Of Weird Al's Running with Scissors Album] contains the lyrics to all the songs on the album. However, due to the extended length of the closing song "Albuquerque", not all of the lyrics fit on the final panel of the booklet. Instead of continuing with the lyrics at the end of the booklet, there is an apology from Al stating that there was no way he could have fit the rest of the song's lyrics on it, and he "should have used a smaller font or a bigger piece of paper or something."



Don't use Wiki quotes then.

"Wikipedia is not very reliable.  Trust me".

-Lots of people.

And lots of people are wrong. Lots of people just don't know how to properly use Wikipedia.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: MetallicDragon on December 25, 2008, 11:53:51 pm

The CD booklet [Of Weird Al's Running with Scissors Album] contains the lyrics to all the songs on the album. However, due to the extended length of the closing song "Albuquerque", not all of the lyrics fit on the final panel of the booklet. Instead of continuing with the lyrics at the end of the booklet, there is an apology from Al stating that there was no way he could have fit the rest of the song's lyrics on it, and he "should have used a smaller font or a bigger piece of paper or something."


I can confirm this.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on December 26, 2008, 05:38:19 am
"Deer resident
I am come delivery you parcel most urgent.
But being afraid for police catch me, and you are the hostility,
I am of minded to go from here quick. If still wanted the parcel,
you are need go fetching for yourself it at the parcel station.

Most happy apology
Man Service of Delivers."


-Anonymous
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 26, 2008, 12:12:57 pm
Oh, those silly Nigerians...  :P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on December 26, 2008, 03:03:34 pm
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.  ~Charles Dickens
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 26, 2008, 07:24:25 pm
"Do you want to hire this Nutritionalist because she's hot?"

"She's 26... with the wisdom of a much younger woman."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on December 27, 2008, 12:34:21 am
It seems to happen when GOOD things happen.  Like maybe it's a sexual congratulation of some sort?  (Apparently spore creatures reproduce by GRINDING, no shoot.)
God no! Everyone knows that spore creatures reproduce by dancing nearby a mate! This causes the egg inside the creature to be instantly pollinated. In a few more seconds, the egg will very rapidly expand to several times it's previous size.
If the creature that layed the egg has presented unusual characteristics, such as running away from its group and attempting to genocide several species on the entire planet, then between when the egg is layed and when it is hatched, every member of that species will change very radically.

The more you know!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 28, 2008, 01:25:41 pm
"He swallowed a magnet." -The Kid's Father
"Hey, kid. How old are you?" - House
"Eight." -Kid
"...and he ate something stuck to the fridge. Darwin says to let him die." -House
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on December 28, 2008, 05:01:41 pm
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Inkling on December 28, 2008, 10:05:45 pm
"I just ate a thermometer for Science!"
  -Adam Savage
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on December 29, 2008, 03:53:47 am
Of those who say nothing, few are silent.

    Thomas Neill
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 31, 2008, 04:10:57 pm
Jeff Goldblum is the kind of Guy that could sell you beach front property in Utah and make you feel great about it.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on December 31, 2008, 04:22:54 pm
"This evil fortune, which generally attends extraordinary men in the management of great affairs, has been imputed to divers causes, that need not be here set down, when so obvious a one occurs, if what a certain writer observes be true, that when a great genius appears in the world the dunces are all in confederacy against him."

- Johnathan Swift
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on December 31, 2008, 04:35:50 pm
With time I become my enemy.  I see the lies, I hate the lies, I begin lying.  I see the threats, I hate the threats, I become threatening.  I see the whiny idiots, I hate the whiny idiots, and here I am now.  The world is a horrible place, and nothing is ever clear.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on January 01, 2009, 01:08:40 pm
The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul. G. K. Chesterton
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on January 01, 2009, 01:36:51 pm
Of course, the Internet, as it is now, has little to do with Borgs and cube-shaped space ships. It is as dead as a doornail. It doesn't 'want' anything. The Web is still just a bunch of bits and bytes, sitting passively on hard disks around the world.

But the self-learning software we mentioned before could change all that. Say, we’ll make a self-learning piece of software that has one assignment: "Find a cure for cancer". Actually, software like this already exists: it is software that automatically checks certain molecules to see if their shape is suitable for curing cancer.

Ok, now suppose this software gets smarter. It could find new, creative ways to do its task. Like: "Hey, let’s enslave all these silly little humans. Let’s force them to build a giant cube and go out in space to look for a cure for cancer!" Aw, that would be so dumb...
-Exitmundi
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on January 02, 2009, 07:39:17 am
     "In the 11th century, mankind faces an epic struggle for survival. The forces of nature have spun wildly out of control. Mighty castles have crumbled and the dinosaurs have returned to reclaim the Earth. In this savage land, one man stands alone - Sir Jack Tenrac, defending humanity in a world gone mad. A world where only the strong survive; a world of... Catapults and Dinosaurs!"

--Anonymous
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 04, 2009, 05:07:13 pm
"When you bathe somebody everyday for five years, you get to know more about them than you really need to."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Doomsday on January 06, 2009, 06:07:14 pm
[21:06] <DoctorZoviet> Just f**ck the damn squid.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on January 07, 2009, 04:13:38 pm
"Happy birthday pal! What in gods name is wronge with you?!"

A parent at my friends birthday,
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 07, 2009, 04:39:08 pm
What luck for rulers that men do not think.
 - Adolf Hitler
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on January 09, 2009, 08:32:28 pm
"If there's anything as orgasmic as a killing spree, I don't want to know about it."

- Anonymous
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 10, 2009, 12:43:29 am
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
  - John Cleese
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on January 10, 2009, 08:46:18 pm
What can a GM do? Whatever he wants. Player annoys you? Kill him. Or change his sex. Or turn him into a Canada goose. Go all the way and turn him into a dead sex-changed Canada goose. No one can stop you.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on January 11, 2009, 12:20:45 am
"I came into this world, not chiefly to make this a good place to live in, but to live in it, be it good or bad."

- Henry David Thoreau
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Mr. Wizard on January 12, 2009, 10:22:17 am


   
Quote
"We expect Nintendo's Revolution, based on its price and immense catalog of downloadable games, to be the market leader by 2010," Runte told GameSpot News. "Nintendo is going to be one heck of a competitor for the gaming pie, and from the looks of it, I think they are going to get a rather huge slice."

    Runte says it's not only that Nintendo has "superior strategy" and is "totally awesome"; it's Nintendo's rivals' weaknesses that give the Revolution the advantage. He dismisses the competition as a non-factor and had particularly harsh words for Sony.

    "Sony has yet to come out of the pit stop after the first lap. Folks, when this race started, naysayers said Nintendo would not have enough under the engine to compete with Microsoft and Sony. Trying to one-up Nintendo like they did with them wanting to make a Revolution-style controller after it was revealed and oohed and aahed over... Nintendo is back in a big way. I think Nintendo will own them all. I believe they are on the path to domination once again. I think they finally are giving people what they want and continuing to give them things they never thought of."

    -Gamespot, April Fool's Joke 2005 (http://www.gamespot.com/news/6146958.html?page=4)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultimatum on January 12, 2009, 10:43:32 am
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
-Carl Sagan
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: madis on January 12, 2009, 11:19:19 am
Nature is f***ing hardcore!

-a Cracked writer

Ive always thought that as awesome thing to say....after a video of some bugs ripping a hive full of bees into pieces.

That apple pie one is nice.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on January 12, 2009, 03:21:23 pm
On a wiki site:
Revision 19:"Quit sending s**t into space."
Revision 20:"S**T... IN... SPAAAAAACE!!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on January 12, 2009, 08:19:38 pm
?Second off the reason marines hunch is because we go on 25 mile humps. "

- Anonymous

Edit:

"One time when i was drunk i gave acid to my 3 year old sister its my fault my sister is dead."

- Anonymous Confessor, Group Hug. Com
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 22, 2009, 05:40:22 pm
"How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when it is quite clearly Planet Ocean."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on February 04, 2009, 09:19:13 pm
"Oh Christ it's the blind leading the stupid."

- Anonymous

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on February 09, 2009, 02:39:31 pm
"Why does a dog to the face hurt more than the bladed chakram she already uses?"
-Noah Antwiler
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on February 09, 2009, 02:50:04 pm
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'

Isaac Asimov
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on February 15, 2009, 08:51:55 am
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.

    Isaac Asimov
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on February 28, 2009, 01:47:47 am
"That's right. I am an ahole. An ahole with an uzi!"

- Some FBI agent, The Frighteners
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on March 05, 2009, 06:52:15 pm
Damnit!

Live topic, LIVE!!!

"I'll break your face!"

- a ganster, GTA4
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on March 06, 2009, 04:23:34 am
"Engineer is credit to team!"
- Heavy , TF2
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on March 06, 2009, 07:05:23 am
"Here's a schematic for ya... My ass!"

- Scout, TF2
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on March 06, 2009, 09:56:34 am
"Be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

- The Sniper, Meet the Sniper

Don't play TF2, just really like the quote. FPS aren't really my thing.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on March 06, 2009, 11:01:21 am
"Say no more, say no more, know what I mean? Nudge nudge!"

-Monty python
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on March 09, 2009, 04:07:46 pm
"I worry that, especially as the Millennium edges nearer, pseudo-science and superstition will seem year by year more tempting, the siren song of unreason more sonorous and attractive. Where have we heard it before? Whenever our ethnic or national prejudices are aroused, in times of scarcity, during challenges to national self-esteem or nerve, when we agonize about our diminished cosmic place and purpose, or when fanaticism is bubbling up around us-then, habits of thought familiar from ages past reach for the controls. The candle flame gutters. Its little pool of light trembles. Darkness gathers. The demons begin to stir."

- Carl Sagan
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Skyward on March 09, 2009, 04:12:17 pm
"How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same
When a wise man and a wise guy are very different?
To overlook something and to oversee something are very different,
But quite a lot and quite a few are the same.
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?
English is cuh-ray-zee!"

Pete Seeger
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Veraal on March 09, 2009, 05:26:46 pm
"I find you far too sarcastic for just a head."

- O'Malley, RvB
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on March 09, 2009, 05:32:38 pm
"How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same
When a wise man and a wise guy are very different?
To overlook something and to oversee something are very different,
But quite a lot and quite a few are the same.
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?
English is cuh-ray-zee!"

Pete Seeger

"Crazy, I was crazy once.
They locked me up in a cell with rats...
Rubber rats...
Rats drive me CRAAAAAAAAZY...

Crazy, I was crazy once..."

 - Member of my Schools water polo team.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on March 13, 2009, 02:00:07 pm
“Let’s talk about rape for a moment. Rape is not what George Lucas did to your childhood. Rape is not what happens when a sports team beats another sports team by a wide margin. Rape is not what happens when your electric bill is higher this month than it was last month. Rape is when a person violates another person in the most despicable, degrading way imaginable and among the myriad of terrible things humans can do to one another, rape is among the worst. I think the casual misappropriation of the concept of rape extending all the way to its widespread comical usage is disgusting even by Internet standards.” -Jeffrey Rowland
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on March 13, 2009, 02:05:39 pm
"Did you know that there are places in the world where people can't even speak english?!"

Guy in my science class.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yannick on March 13, 2009, 06:06:20 pm
That guy is made of win and awesome.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on March 13, 2009, 06:59:16 pm
No, he's made of sawdust and moron.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Skyward on March 16, 2009, 03:10:47 pm
"Yarr, I be having a southern accent. Yarr!"

Sarge(in caboose's mind)- Red vs. Blue
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on March 16, 2009, 03:17:42 pm
"Don't love anything that can't love you back."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Dwight on March 16, 2009, 04:49:41 pm
I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.
Herb Caen
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on March 18, 2009, 01:04:15 am
"I enjoy cocaine because... it's a fun thing to do."

"I enjoy the company of prostitutes for the following reasons: ...oh, because it's a fun thing to do. Much like cocaine. If you combine the two together, it's probably even more fun."

-Sen. Robert Wexler
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Dwight on March 18, 2009, 01:12:21 pm
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
Tom Robbins (1936 - )

I like this one.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on March 19, 2009, 05:22:26 am
"I have never fallen in love, but I have stepped in it a few times." - Rita Rudner
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on March 20, 2009, 10:57:53 pm
"I juST mAinLINED some hot fUdGe into My arm, man.  It Burns so good, I can sEe forever!!!1!"

- Anonymous Poster, from a topic about Chocolate (Hershey's in particular).
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kenobro on March 21, 2009, 02:00:24 pm
WTF?  Did you post that just to have a post?


Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Veraal on March 21, 2009, 02:09:28 pm
It is Andrew Ryan, it doesn't matter.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Ultramarine on March 21, 2009, 02:10:38 pm
^ Not like your post is any better Ken :v

"Every day humans come one step closer to self destruction. I'm not destroying the world, I'm saving it!" -- Albert Wesker (RE:5)

It is Andrew Ryan, it doesn't matter.

Also this.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Xenomorph on March 21, 2009, 03:44:53 pm
"Thats not an adventure thats a regular F***in day in Sunnyvale!"

~Dave from Code Monkeys
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on March 21, 2009, 10:20:25 pm
"completely unrealistic, but quite useful. I like it! Also, you can kick Persian emissaries down into the hole (THIS IS (sim)SPARTA!)"

Someone from simtropolis.com commenting on a building that disposes of garbage by dropping it into a hole reaching to the planet's mantle.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on March 24, 2009, 09:58:15 am
"I have become death, stealer of pie"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on March 24, 2009, 10:18:19 am
"Dawn is in trouble again? It must be Tuesday." -Xander
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on March 24, 2009, 10:28:24 am
"Dawn is in trouble again? It must be Tuesday." -Xander
I thought it was Buffy who said that
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on March 24, 2009, 12:50:42 pm
"Dawn is in trouble again? It must be Tuesday." -Xander
I thought it was Buffy who said that
I was sure it was Xander (the wife is a huge Buffy fan so I listened to it a lot), but the internet says Buffy. Hmmm.

-Lego (points to signature under avatar)

EDIT: Wife just told me I was wrong, she said I wasn't listening. LOL
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Organs Unite on March 24, 2009, 06:03:52 pm
From the movie Without A Paddle:

Person 1: Have you ever been in boyscouts?

Person 2: No, but I hada brownie once
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on March 25, 2009, 01:57:56 am
((They happen to accidently be in the airlock, and the airlock accidently opens. Whoops.))
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Dwight on March 25, 2009, 06:44:52 pm
"For only ¥100!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on March 26, 2009, 02:35:48 pm
"I stopped following the Palastine conflict ages ago. One side is leaderless and must maintain military power at all times or they fall apart. The other insists on over-reacting to everything and plopping settlements on hostile soil because their magical-sky-fairy told them to."

I consider this to be one of the best political quotes I've ever seen.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on March 29, 2009, 05:35:05 pm
If this was a case of political expediency or the death of an "innocent man" is of little consequence to history, as we can testify today, terrorists are defined by the state, the press, public opinion and pressure on the system and people that rule. The rights and wrongs are defined by the "winners" of the age you live in, not by any truths recorded or spoken.

-  Gavin, London – commenter on a news story about Britain’s ‘Gunpowder Plot”
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on April 03, 2009, 10:39:05 pm
"But in Europe, there is an anti-Americanism that is at once casual but can also be insidious. Instead of recognizing the good that America so often does in the world, there have been times where Europeans choose to blame America for much of what's bad."
-Obama
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Tesla on April 04, 2009, 11:16:18 am
Yeah! Darn you Americans!

*Shakes fist*
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grangan on April 04, 2009, 02:22:10 pm
"I stopped following the Palastine conflict ages ago. One side is leaderless and must maintain military power at all times or they fall apart. The other insists on over-reacting to everything and plopping settlements on hostile soil because their magical-sky-fairy told them to."

I consider this to be one of the best political quotes I've ever seen.

And which is which?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on April 04, 2009, 02:40:49 pm
It's obvious to anyone that knows anything about the conflict.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: eropS on April 04, 2009, 07:15:18 pm
Yeah really Grangan read any news paper, wiki article, or online news article in regards to the conflict and the quote is obvious.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Null on April 06, 2009, 01:53:18 pm
"Do optimists live longer that pessimists? Optimists think so. So do pessimists. There’s consensus!"

- some internet guy in a blog comment. I laughed.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on April 06, 2009, 09:44:28 pm
Quote
Can I come live in your magic forest?

We can explore it together and be friends.

I laughed so hard when I saw this.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: eropS on April 08, 2009, 11:27:21 am
BritneySpears14:  I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja:  Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.


.... you really had to have read the whole thing...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on April 08, 2009, 02:49:49 pm
Give me a link to this...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: eropS on April 08, 2009, 03:20:59 pm
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja

There you go AR.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on April 09, 2009, 01:32:27 am
Quote from: http://www.wikihow.com/Eat-Properly
U.S. culture has distorted the innate act of eating sensibly by its overwhelming abundance of food. Sure, the presence of a culture that is sufficient and advanced enough to feed all of its citizens three times what they actually need is comforting, but along with that comes obesity and disease. Read on to learn the tips and secrets to eating a healthy body.

Cannibalism? ???
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Flamester_ on April 09, 2009, 05:17:04 am
Poland has experienced a tremendous amount of history due to the fact that it has no natural defensible borders, which makes it very easy to conquer. Many times the other nations didn't even mean to invade Poland; one night they'd simply forget to set the parking brakes on their tanks, and they'd wake up the next morning to discover that, whoosh, they had conquered Poland.
       -- Dave Barry
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on April 17, 2009, 05:21:27 pm
"Women are like Terran bases, Zerg rush 'em."

- Anonymous Poster, Starcraft 2 forums. 
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on April 17, 2009, 09:07:05 pm
"Any experienced Armored Core players know well enough to venture into an unknown mission not carrying equipments for all kinds of situations. These include radar equipped with bio-sensors so one can target biological threats, weapons that can track even the fastest of opponents such as machineguns or missiles, and weapons that gives a lot of damage to armored enemies. Some very professional players deliberately use overweighted A Cs loaded with every weapon for any situations in Arenas, and eject any unnecessary weapons when the fight begins, depending on the enemy."

-TVTropes


Talk about crazy prepared...



"Naruto has the the eight-tailed beast host. He goes by the name "Killer Bee", looks like someone straight out of the Wu-Tang Clan, raps in the middle of battle, uses seven swords at once (holding them in such places as his armpit and between his neck and shoulder) which he uses by spinning around like a buzzsaw, and transforms into a giant bull with octopus tentacles. Despite how weird that sounds, he was able to utterly rip Sasuke a new one. Then he later faked being captured by transforming into a severed tentacle and the actual tentacle into himself. This wasn't discovered until the Akatsuki were busy sealing what they thought was his tailed-beast ("...it's a tentacle"), making Sasuke and the entirety of Akatsuki looks like a bunch of idiots. Then we found out he also threw the fight against Sasuke in the first place as part of his plan to get away from his village and go on vacation."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on April 18, 2009, 12:46:29 am
"Do you guys think I'm a bad person for prayer to Will Smith rather then Jesus ?"

- Anonymous poster, FPS Banana. 
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on April 20, 2009, 05:23:47 am
Name: Rock T. Layncher
Age: 9001
Weapon of choice: Laser shooting sharks
Skills: Flight, Energy Weapons, Melee
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on April 27, 2009, 07:37:08 am
This post represents the official views of the voices in my head. Not Available in all areas. Batteries not included. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Side effects include: Enlarged head, wetting yourself, sneezing, coughing, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest stats. Use of this data is at your own risk. I am not liable for any use of this information. Actual results may vary. Contents may shift during shipping. For indoor or outdoor use only. Peanut products may contain nuts. If post catches on fire, step away. This post not accessible to the visually impaired. Do not combine post with explosives and place in your mouth or other body orifice. Do not read while sleeping. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Use only as directed. Reading this post does not give you the ability to fly. May be too intense for some viewers. All models are over 18 years of age. If problems persist, consult your physician. Freshest if read before expiration date. Please remain seated until post comes to a complete stop. Your banner can be used as a flotation device in the event of a water landing. For on or off road use only. Post will be hot after heating. Post will be cold after freezing. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself. May contain explicit words. Keep away from pets and small children. Avoid contact with skin. Replies may be monitored for quality assurance. Do not use this post with a petroleum based lubricant. Contains no CFC's. Contains MSG. Do not intentionally inhale vapors from this post. Viewing by pregnant woman may result in fetal injury, premature birth, and/or low birth weight. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. All rights reserved. Patent pending. For external use only. Do not puncture. Ribbed for her pleasure. Eat your vegetables. Terms are subject to change without notice. Action figures sold separately. This post made from 100% recycled electrons. The following area is intentionally left blank.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on May 07, 2009, 07:56:17 am
"Things are rarely just crazy enough to work, but they're frequently just crazy enough to fail hilariously." From this XKCD comic (http://xkcd.org/580/).
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on August 13, 2009, 12:07:24 am
When is abortion necessary, Mr. Nixon? (http://www.entertonement.com/clips/mdfkhzsyhn--1)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Andrew Ryan on August 13, 2009, 12:01:38 pm
Remind me why people voted for him again?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on August 13, 2009, 12:09:16 pm
Because

(http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii120/Brandonazz/shirtsquare-commies.jpg)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Saganmaineiac on August 13, 2009, 04:02:17 pm
Yeah. Vive le Stupidity Che!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on August 13, 2009, 04:04:09 pm
"Gentlemen"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on August 13, 2009, 07:00:06 pm
When is abortion necessary, Mr. Nixon? (http://www.entertonement.com/clips/mdfkhzsyhn--1)

... Dude... Just... Dude...

Also: "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this isn't it." - Groucho Marx
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on August 15, 2009, 10:41:01 am
"I think [women] should be armed but should not vote...women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it...it´s always more money on education, more money on child care, more money on day care."

-Ann Coulter
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on August 15, 2009, 10:45:22 am
"What was that? Man I'll kill you" - Ross Scott
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on August 15, 2009, 11:58:43 pm
"Ickbar have something in eye." "It's a tear, and it's nothing to be ashamed of." "Really?" "No, it's an appalling sign of weakness and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on October 15, 2009, 05:57:51 pm
Quote from: Jorm
This started as a response to someone's thread. I made a note instead because it's so damned long.

I have a lot of "Star Wars Prequel" nerd-angst. I am totally disappointed in them. Had I done them, they would have been AWESOME. This is how:

Episode I: The Phantom Menace (the title is still good). Plot has some of the main points (e.g., Qui-Gon gets killed by Maul; Obi-Wan kills Maul, etc.), but:

a) Anikan is from, like, Alderaan, and is an orphan, and shows too much aggresssion because he lived a ****ty life. Padme is nobility from Alderaan (explains her connection to Bail Organa, later).

b) We meet Anikan when he's already 15 or 16. Obi-Wan is an apprentice still (and we ditch that godawful "Padawan" term). Padme is the same age; they start to fall in love. By the end of the film, it's a sealed deal.

c) No Jar-Jar, R2-D2, or C3PO. WTF, man? This series is and has always been about Obi-Wan and Anikan.

d) The "phantom menace" is, indeed, the Sith returning, and they have this big plot. The "investigation" that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are involved in is effectively Obi-Wan's investigation from "Attack of the Clones": wtf is this clone army?

e) At the end, the Clone Wars start.

Episode II: The Clone Wars (better title). At this point, we're totally off the rails about the original plots, so erase everything you know.

a) Anakin is a full-blown, but troubled Jedi fighting in the clone wars. We're five or six years into them; he's about 22. He's got a lot of post-traumatic stress disorder. He's away for months and months at a time.

b) Padme is pregnant, but doesn't tell Anakin.

c) Sidious (awful name) corrupts Anakin.

d) Anakin turns to the Dark Side. I liked the opera scene from III, so let's do that. Intercut the conversation between Anakin and Sidious with Padme giving birth to the twins on Alderaan.

e) Sidious orders Vader to kill the Jedi. Roll credits.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (Keepin' dat; best title in the series, imho). This is a dark, dark film.

a) Anakin is pulled from the fire by Sidious and rebuilt. Sidious commands him to hunt down the Jedi. The clone "kill" order is given.

b) A bunch of Jedi get laser-sworded.

c) Padme thinks she can "save" Anakin, bring him back to the Light Side. She and Obi-Wan find and confront Vader. He force-chokes her, killing her. Obi-Wan goes berserk, totally ****s up Anakin, throws him in the fire. Intercut with Sidious ****ing up Yoda.

d) Sidious rescues Vader and rebuilds him.

e) Denoument: Obi-Wan and Yoda escape. Obi-Wan, originally from Tattooine, takes Luke to Tatooine and dumps him on the doorstep of Lars. Roll credits.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on November 01, 2009, 07:24:38 am
"[Regarding the differences between Video Games and books]  for instance, in a book if the main character dies you can't go back and re-read the last few pages over and over again for like two hours trying to get him to survive, before finally throwing the book away in disgust because that last page is friggin impossible"  - Dinosaur Comics (http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=709)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cyst on November 05, 2009, 01:56:18 pm
Quote
“I thought that was Iceland.”

    ~ George W. Bush on Canada
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Darth Grievi on November 05, 2009, 06:39:54 pm
Quote
WITH GREAT POWER COMES LULZY ABUSE OF SUCH POWER

At least in fanfics....
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on November 23, 2009, 06:30:26 pm
Dear Journal, don't you hate it when there's a big commotion so you slip into a nearby closet to fap to a porn poster you just grabbed from the wall, only to realise that you can't see very well in the dark and can't use your flashlight while moving your wrist quickly, and then some lardass slumps in front of the door and by the time you manage to smash your way out, which results in getting the poster torn up, everyone is dead for some reason?-Anonymous
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cow on November 28, 2009, 08:28:59 pm
Dear Journal, don't you hate it when there's a big commotion so you slip into a nearby closet to fap to a porn poster you just grabbed from the wall, only to realise that you can't see very well in the dark and can't use your flashlight while moving your wrist quickly, and then some lardass slumps in front of the door and by the time you manage to smash your way out, which results in getting the poster torn up, everyone is dead for some reason?-Anonymous

I didn't expect you to know what any of those things meant.

In the immortal words of The Simpsons; "The goggles! They do nothing!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on November 29, 2009, 05:36:31 am
It's "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" actually.


Gets misquoted a lot by silly people. :P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cow on November 29, 2009, 12:28:36 pm
It's "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!" actually.


Gets misquoted a lot by silly people. :P

Oh. I got it passed onto me wrong... Good to know.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Celdur on November 29, 2009, 12:33:38 pm
"now bear my arctic blast."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on November 29, 2009, 03:14:27 pm
You were almost a Jill Sandwich!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on November 29, 2009, 03:17:17 pm
"Science will f*** you!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on November 30, 2009, 07:12:31 am
Quote
Ages
1- Baby
2- Toddler
3- Toddler
4- Toddler
5- Child
6- Child
7- Child
8- Child
9- Child
10- Child
11- Child
12- Pre-Teen
13- Pre-Teen
14- Teenager
15- Teenager
16- Teenager
17- Teenager
18- ADULT
19- Teenager
20- Kid
21- Stupid Kid
22- Kid
23- Kid
24- Kid
25- Kid
26- Kid
27- Kid
28- Kid
29- Kid
30- Actual Adult
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on November 30, 2009, 10:15:57 am
Does that mean I don't actually have any responsibilities?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Xenomorph on November 30, 2009, 10:22:50 am
ADULT MOTHA******'S!!!

Please don't skirt around the forum censer like this.

-mod
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 27, 2009, 08:59:36 am
"As comedic hero Jay Leno said in a successful ad campaign for Doritos, "Don't worry, we'll make more." True words were never spoken, of snack chips nor human beings."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on December 27, 2009, 10:16:21 am
Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make more in my tummy!(From a pregnant woman in a comic[Order of the Stick] which I haven't read in a while, can't remember her name)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Snork on December 28, 2009, 02:37:13 pm
Stop rolling like pigs amongst the faeces and get out of the way of my sunlight, you stupid f***ers.
-The Orc Creation Myth.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on December 28, 2009, 06:03:33 pm
Quote
From CNN:

Quote:
Emperor Ferdinand Marcos of the Great Luzon Empire has announced that their nation, and it's fifty-seven terrestrial colonies, three lunar colonies, two solar colonies and five martian holdings, will be neutral regarding the war, citing the fact that both the US and the EU are clearly inferior to the Empire both in the art of war and the shoe-making industry.

Furthermore, the Great Luzon Empress, Imelda Marcos, has stated that none of the Empire's two hundred Galaxy Class interstellar assault carriers, twelve million Variable Space Armors, nor any other military assets for that matter, will be used to massacre the USA or EU, as long as they do not show any signs of aggression towards the Empire.

It should be noted that the Great Luzon Imperial Spacy was the one responsible for single-handedly protecting the world from the Xakorkitianus Invasions of 1957 and 1981.

Quote
I hope the two sides keep away from the East. Or else, we're screwed, or worse, glassed to oblivion.  :(
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on December 30, 2009, 03:45:51 pm
The Official Rules of Shotgun

1. The shotgunner must be in clear sight of the car, and shotgun can be called regardless of whether the driver is in sight of the car

2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey you are automatically given shotgun. You retain this position for the entire journey, unless you violate rules 12, 17, 23 or any other rules stipulating the loss of shotgun.

3. You cannot declare shotgun if someone has previously declared shotgun for that journey.

4. When simultaneous shotgun is called, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from all the people who called.

5. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless you are in a multi-storey or underground car park!)

6. Shotgun cannot be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey.

7. Once shotgun has been called the driver has the option of a reload. The driver yells “reload” and this means that all previous calls of shotgun are void and the first person to call shotgun again gets the seat. This is helpful if the driver really doesn’t like the person who first called shotgun. It is often used when there is a simultaneous call and the driver is unsure of the outcome. Note that a shotgun has only 2 barrels so a reload can only be called once.

8. Ja rob rule...if he’s in the car shotgun now means back left, so he cant punch you every time a yellow car goes past.

9. Once shotgun has been called for the front seat then back left and back right can be called. This effectively leaves the slowest person to travel in the middle (of the “b**ch” seat).

10. Because everyone is created equal, men have the same right to the front seat of the car as women (ie women don't own the front seat!).

11. If the regular driver of the vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given shotgun.

12. Once the journey has begun, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However if they feel the road requires their full attention, or they simply cannot be arsed any more, duty is passed to the shotgunner. However putting on crap tunes or allowing for silence when the iPod finishes a song or ANY instances of TAKE THAT will result in demotion to b**ch seat.

13. Anyone calling shotgun must have his or her shoes on. This is to stop people running outside and calling shotgun, then having to go back inside to put their shoes on and slowing the journey. This is known as the Shoe Rule.

14. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsies and other girly calls!

15. Despite the debate, shotgun CAN be used to shotgun things other than the front seat (eg back left, back right, women, not going to answer the door, etc).

16. When travelling with a couple, one of the couple MUST shotgun the front. No one wants to chauffer two of their mates whilst they are in the back all over each other.

17. If someone has successfully called shotgun, they have the right to the front seat. They do not have the right to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("take a left here you dickhead!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if I was driving"). If the passenger does this, then they forfeit their position as shotgun holder.

18. If someone says, "what’s shotgun?" after it has been called then they have to walk.

19. If the shotgunner attempts to open the door just as the driver is unlocking it and jams the lock half open so that the driver needs to lock it and unlock it again, the shotgunner forfeits their position. This is known as shotgun suicide.

20. The holder of shotgun assumes the responsibility for all gate opening, off license nipping into, takeaway ordering and question asking. He/she is in essence the copilot and therefore the enforcer of behavior in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/water spraying/bag throwing at the passengers in the back.

21. Automatic "couple's rights act 1997". This law states that, if the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, this person has the right to the seat of their choice.

22. If one of the potential occupants of the vehicle is dressed (convincingly) as a pirate then they are given automatic shotgun. In the event of more than one pirate being present, a sword fight shall determine the successful shotgunner. This is known as The Pirate Rule.

23. When driving past a woman walking a dog, everyone in the car must shout out the window, "who's walking who?” It is the shotgunner’s responsibility and failure to spot potential heckling, results in demotion to the b**ch seat!

24. When riding in a 2 or 3 door car, it is the responsibility of the shotgunner to allow rear passengers in and out of the back of the car, NOT THE DRIVERS!! Regardless of the weather conditions.

25. It is the successful shotgunners responsibility to be on the look out for any police and/or speed cameras. if the shotgunner doesn't spot a speed camera and this results in a speeding ticket it is immediately their fault and not the drivers.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on January 29, 2010, 08:59:26 am
Quote
This needs to become common knowledge for girls. Here are 55 rules every girl should know because it's about damn time

1. Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.
2. We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we're planning to dump you and jump them.
3. Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favorite sports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.
4. Helpless is not cute.
5. Get to the point.
6. Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk to us while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you "honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.
Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediate medical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.
7. You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.
8. If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are you going to do?
9. Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.
10. We would not wear high heels to impress you.
11. Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.
12. For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity to control a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.
13. If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the beauty shop today."
14. If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.
15. Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.
16. We need to vegetate.
17. We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.
18. We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.
19. We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.
20. When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud and happy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.
21. It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.
22. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
23. If it itches, it will be scratched.
24. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear.
25. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
26. Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topis such as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
27. Sundays equals sports. Period.
28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
29. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
30. You have enough clothes.
31. You have too many shoes.
32. Crying is blackmail.
33. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
34. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
35. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
36. We're not mind readers and we never will be. OUr lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
37. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?
38. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
40. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
41. Check your oil.
42. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
43. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.
44. It doesn't matter which quiz.
45. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
46. If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap opera guys.
47. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
48. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
49. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
50. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
51. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
52. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
53. Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
54. Ditto melon.
55. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.

My girlfriend of the past 8 months linked me this. I think I'm set for life.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on January 29, 2010, 10:31:42 am
From bash.org (http://www.bash.org/?414593)

Quote
DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on February 04, 2010, 02:21:48 pm
From the Lazer Collection 3:

Ooh, a magic lamp!
Dr. Octagonapus!-
Ooh, I've never seen a genie like this before!
*SLAP* DR. OCTAGONAPUS!-
No, no, no, I'm your master now, you have to do what I tell you.
... DOC-
For my fiiiiiiiiiiiiiirst wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish-
DR. OCTA-@$%^#@$%^&@#-GONAPUS!!! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on February 05, 2010, 07:19:20 am
"You're off the case!"
-"Yeah? Well you're off the face""
Quickly followed by a shotgun blast to the face
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on February 05, 2010, 04:08:44 pm
"It is written:

Only Ganon can
eat enough SWORDS
to defeat THE KING!"

...Yeah.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on February 07, 2010, 06:15:49 pm
Quote
Karen Pommeroy: This could be the death of an entire way of life, the end of an era...
Donnie: Why should we care?
Karen Pommeroy: Because the rabbits are us, Donnie.
Donnie: Why should I mourn for a rabbit like he was human?
Karen Pommeroy: Are you saying that the death of one species is less tragic than another?
Donnie: Of course. The rabbit's not like us. It has no... keen look at something in the mirror, it has no history books, no photographs, no knowledge of sorrow or regret... I mean, I'm sorry, Miss Pommeroy, don't get me wrong; y'know, I like rabbits and all. They're cute and they're horny. And if you're cute and you're horny, then you're probably happy, in that you don't know who you are and why you're even alive. And you just wanna' have sex, as many times as possible, before you die... I mean, I just don't see the point in crying over a dead rabbit! Y'know, who... who never even feared death to begin with.

-Donnie Darko
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on February 08, 2010, 10:13:08 am
Quote
... and we danced drunkenly to bed. Somewhere inside of me a single egg met with a single sperm, possibly the fastest and the cutest, and the millions of other sperm swam aside to leave the two in poetic symbosis.

Courtesy of Private Eye's Pseuds Corner. Sometimes there isn't enough vomit in the world.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on February 24, 2010, 02:10:51 am

Quote from: Blue Max
To change the nature of existence is to challenge the ideas of faith, which is to harm the collective good. It can't be allowed, and therefore stasis is the only direction.


Kudos to those who know this guy.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on February 24, 2010, 04:55:39 am
At first I assumed it was from some stupid anime but it looks like its a quote from a member of an alternate history forum.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on February 24, 2010, 05:07:44 am
Correct. (http://www.alternatehistory.com/Discussion/member.php?u=5414) :)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Spartan King 95 on February 24, 2010, 05:24:50 pm
Quote:

Right-Eye: There is such thing as over thinking you know.

Redcloak: And someday you'll get there little brother.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on February 24, 2010, 05:40:39 pm
"God is dead."
-Nietzsche

"Nietzsche is dead."
-God



Oh, burn!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on February 25, 2010, 01:30:57 am
Except God never actually said that, did he? You are telling naughty fibs.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on February 25, 2010, 07:53:17 am
Just got it from someone in AH. :P

Though, I gotta say it's pretty ironic when the two quotes are in tandem.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on February 26, 2010, 05:53:18 pm
"Very scary and confusing, destination of MY CHOOSING, magic labyrinth of I! M! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: gec05 on February 28, 2010, 05:16:51 pm
Quote
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
In Soviet Russia,
poem write you.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on March 01, 2010, 02:14:04 am
I like this one better:
Quote from: Rapp Scallion from "Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge"
Violets are blue,
roses are red.
We're coming aboard,
prepare to eat lead.
:)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on March 01, 2010, 03:24:47 am
Quote
Roses are red.
Violets are blue,
I have multiple personalities,
And so do I.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on March 01, 2010, 11:08:12 am
Quote
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your blood's indecisive
So I'll help it choose

MWAHAHAHAHAHA
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on March 02, 2010, 03:57:49 am
Quote
http://www.yorktownhistory.org/homepages/1900_predictions.htm

What is with the obsession with giant fruits?!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on March 02, 2010, 05:58:46 am
Quote
Roses are gray
Violets are gray
So yeah
Being color blind sucks

-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Veraal on March 05, 2010, 01:57:03 pm
I'll use that sometime.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on March 05, 2010, 04:00:39 pm
Legion is colorblind. I showed him the joke, he laughed for like a minute straight.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on March 05, 2010, 09:27:11 pm
Quote
tired? about to throw up? You might be suffering from lack of sleep. Ask your doctor if a good nights sleep is right for you. a good nights sleep is not for everyone, including people who are awake and not tired, or have work to do. Side effects of a good nights sleep include bedhead, drooling, and the occasional dream. stop taking a good nights sleep if you are dumb. A good nights sleep. what everyone should enjoy.

From some guy on my facebook page.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on March 12, 2010, 10:24:09 pm
Quote from: AH.com
The ASB forum - wrecking the world and killing billions since 2004.

“I was a happily married man – two kids, a wife, a mistress and an almost unnatural interest in strippers. Then, I got hooked on the internet. Now, I have no time or energy for infidelity, as all of my time is taken up planning family vacations and helping my kids learn about history using the enormous resources of the web.  It has certainly ruined my fun.”

- Marcel Crayon, Carcer City

“Before, when I would buy drugs, I would have no idea what to do with them, so they used to sit, untaken on my side board.  After years of buying drugs, but being unable to take them due to ignorance, I had pounds of crack, heroin and reefer stashed in my house.  Then, thanks to the internet, I learned how to take them, using a vacuum cleaner, a car battery and a small dog.  I am literally out of my mind all of the time and my life has turned to ****. Thanks a lot, internet! I say, ‘turn it off!’ ”

- Jeremy Fagin, Los Santos, San Andreas

“Growing up in a strict religious house hold, I did not know what a penis or a vagina was. Then I got hooked on the internet. Now, I am ashamed to admit I have both.”

- Name withheld

“I never believed the government lied to us, or wasted tax on frivolities like unnecessary wars or government perks.  Now, thanks to the horrors of the internet, I have discovered the truth.  I hate the web.  I preferred living in ignorance.”

- Name withheld

“I am a mentally unstable sociopath and pedophile who liked to prey on unsuspecting children.  Now, because of the internet, everyone is only too aware of the dangers posed by creepy men befriending young children.  It's quite simply ruined my life.”

- Derrick Hale, St. Paul’s High Security Mental Asylum.

“I’ve always had a healthy sexual appetite.  Around the time I hit puberty, I became sexually fixated with my grandmother.  I could not get her out of my mind.  People told me it was wrong, but I honestly believed that they were lying.  If it feels so right, how can it be wrong, right?  Wrong!  I heard about the interweb.  I went online expecting to discover a whole secret society of people JUST like me who loved much elder relatives, and hoped that for the first time since I gave up fantasizing about my sister, I could feel normal.  How wrong I was.  No one is obsessed with their grandma aside from me.  I am a complete freak, and completely alone.  The internet has ruined EVERYTHING.  The worst of it is I STILL LOVE HER!”

- Brain Baylor, Shady Pines
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Pixxel on March 26, 2010, 05:12:51 am
My daddy's smarter than Einstein, stronger than Hercules and he can light a fire with the snap of his fingers. Are you as good as my daddy, mister? Not if you don't visit the Gatherer's Garden, you aren't!  :D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on March 26, 2010, 08:21:24 am
Don't be a slowpoke Mr. B
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Pixxel on March 26, 2010, 08:30:00 am
Angles don't wait for slowpokes.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on March 27, 2010, 04:26:40 am
"It's a league game, Smokey"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on March 27, 2010, 06:17:18 am
Quote from: The Spoiler
hey shaking it violently for 5 minutes is just as much exercise as walking
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Doomsday on March 31, 2010, 05:15:00 pm
Taken from a mIRC channel that I idle in. I just happened to be around for this conversation.

[20:08] <raulduke> i want a blow job
[20:09] <DeMoPoRT> raulduke find a cougar
[20:09] <DeMoPoRT> friday is your best luck
[20:09] <raulduke> really
[20:09] <DeMoPoRT> what ever street you have in your town thats full of bars and night clubs
[20:09] <DeMoPoRT> go there and look for a cougar
[20:09] <raulduke> hummm.... but i hate bars
[20:10] <DeMoPoRT> i **** you not, i talked with a cougar couple of weekends ago, my opener was "those are some nice tits"
[20:10] <DeMoPoRT> and apparently she found it funny
[20:10] <raulduke> i do like blow jobs'
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on April 01, 2010, 10:18:05 pm
     "In a world where genetic engineering is an unquestioned part of life, cloning can be found everywhere.

     Specifically, cloned cavemen perform dirty and unpleasant work, such as manual labor, thought unfit for the modern humans who profit and live in luxury off caveman labor. The caste system is acceptable to most.

     But soon, the heads of various genetics companies, responsible for this new social order, are found dead one by one, shot by .357, .44, and .50 slugs. It soon becomes apparent that an escaped caveman clone is using heavy handguns to fight for social justice.

     He is called Cro-Magnum."



     -- A guy only me and Brandonazz probably know of
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grazony on April 01, 2010, 11:24:27 pm
My god. I want to meet that person.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on April 01, 2010, 11:46:38 pm
Ask, and ye shall receive... (http://www.alternatehistory.com/Discussion/showthread.php?t=152974)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Pixxel on April 04, 2010, 06:59:44 am
"She shelled seashells at the seashore"

Try saying that fast 5 times. :D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on April 04, 2010, 08:38:59 am
Pfff, you're making it easy on yourself.

You want

"She sell sea-shells by the sea-shore"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Pixxel on April 04, 2010, 08:53:43 am
I knew I got it wrong :X
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on April 04, 2010, 08:57:53 am
Well yeah, you kept saying it wrong. ;)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on April 04, 2010, 09:49:37 pm
"Max, you're overthinking this too much...

You've got three scenarios for two choices."

--forgothisname
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on April 06, 2010, 01:58:17 pm
Pfff, you're making it easy on yourself.

You want

"She sells seashells by the seashore"

third time's the charm, I guess.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on April 07, 2010, 07:05:05 am
"

          Q: What would history belike if there weren't any continetns just oceans? Would humans live underweater in unerwater cities or something?

          A: I think we'd live on the moon instead of under the water because there are no sharks on the moon.


"


   -- Anonymous
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on April 15, 2010, 06:51:42 am
"Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them under control. I trust you are not in too much distress?" - Captain Eric Moody, Flight 009, April 1982

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/04/15/volcanic.ash.aviation.explainer/index.html

-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on April 15, 2010, 07:12:48 am
I remember that story. That's probably the biggest understatement in history :P.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Tesla on April 18, 2010, 02:14:28 pm
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

- Mitch Hedberg
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on April 18, 2010, 05:56:40 pm
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

- Mitch Hedberg
:D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on April 23, 2010, 01:11:01 pm
"Despite the wonderful fit of the seat and his natural grip on the stick, he still didn't feel right."

Descent, Peter Telep
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on April 23, 2010, 01:19:40 pm
"No way, no way. Tried it once, doesn't work. You got four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You're Mr. Pink."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on April 26, 2010, 06:43:34 pm
"One does not simply walk into Mordor. There is evil there that does not sleep."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on April 27, 2010, 02:29:19 am
"You mind plugging it in?"
"A favor for you?"
"It's your life, too."
"And it's in your hands.  How lucky can a girl get?"
"I like sarcasm.  I think it's sexy."
"You would."  She squeezed between his seat and dropped to her knees.  Then, leaning forward to hook up the palmtop, she turned her head and caught him glancing.
"Don't look at my ass, you pig."
"Okay," he said, averting his gaze and adopting his best nervous-schoolboy expression.
She resumed her work.
He looked again.  Nice.

Also from Descent.  I friggin love this book.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on April 27, 2010, 08:45:28 am
"The plug thingy, it's unplugged!"

-G.I.R
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on May 13, 2010, 08:23:06 pm
Quote
The Brosnan era wrapped up with Die Another Day, a movie that celebrated the Bond film franchise’s 40th year by having James parasurf on an iceberg tsunami and swordfight with Madonna. The movie was painfully stupid, but thankfully it was rescued by an inspired performance by Halle Berry’s tits and made around 500 million dollars worldwide.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on May 15, 2010, 06:04:50 am
"5 Ton Crane for sale. Suitable for any construction company or elderly rock band."

"So, believing that listening to Roger's ramblings was punishments for misdeeds in his previous life, it had turned out Tom wrote "I must not **** sheep" all over his legal pad. While he was not certain that this is what he had done, it was a pretty fair stab at it."

Both from the Pink Floyd biography. Nick Mason is hilarious.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kishmond on May 18, 2010, 04:34:34 pm
Andrew Hussie:

Quote
How to be Funny on the Internet: Lesson 1

The Internet is nothing if not a boundless population of aspiring comedians. They utilize this uncensored medium as an incubator of sorts for their abilities as humorists before exploding onto the standup circuit. While this will is universal, being a natural humorist is far from it. Luckily, I have a roadmap that will guide you towards the appearance of being funny on the Internet, if strictly adhered to.

Mention Ninjas.

“A blur of black in a dim room. As the emperor ponders his koans, he cracks an eyelid. But it’s too late. Who else could make off with ancient scrolls and the lion’s share of a kind emperor’s spine before the shutter has yet swung closed from entry? If your answer was ‘not a ninja’, you’re ****ing retarded.”

Ninjas are evidently hilarious. Particularly if alluded to in a manner that might be construed as tongue-in-cheek. But not completely. You don’t want to come off like you’re making fun of ninjas, because it is common knowledge that they are awesome.

If you are unlearned in the vicissitudes of cyberspace, you may find this confusing. I will try to explain. The first thing to realize: ninjas are awesome. There is nothing not awesome about them. They are practically the archetypical embodiment of awesomeness. So what exactly is so funny about them? Actually (and this is what may be hard to understand), nothing at all. When a ninja is invoked in any context, the response promotes the illusion that something humorous was said. But what has actually occurred is a mutual celebration of ninjas’ all-around awesomeness, kind of like an “implied high five”.

But wait, there’s more. You don’t want to get too wrapped up in how awesome ninjas are. That would be comedic seppuku. This will breed an attitude of reverence, and you begin to take them too seriously. Taking things seriously is nerdish, and very unfunny, especially on the Internet. You will become the target of ridicule, rather than targeter. This is why you must take a step back, and strike that intuitive balance between reverence for, and an outright mockery of ninjas. The joke becomes the fact that they are awesome, and they become MORE awesome because they are the joke. Place them in curious juxtapositions, mix them with references to pop culture. You’ll get the hang of it.

And one final thought. Once you have digested all of this, and then mastered it, realize this profound scrap: the joke is actually the joke. Meditate on THAT.

Mention Pirates:

Pirates are also hilarious, and mentioning them will make you hilarious as well. This is for a similar set of reasons that make ninjas are funny. They are awesome. But awesome for different reasons. True, both classes share themes of danger, deadliness, and being generally badass. But while ninjas convey stealth, precision, and cunning, pirates evoke a sense of adventure, bravado, and foolhardy swagger. Their passion for buried riches is legendary, and they are not too proud to sing and dance either, provided a steady flow of rum. Mentioning pirates will conjure visions of all these things, and your friends will be enamored of your ruggedly adventurous sensibilities.

But as is the case with ninjas, your deployment of pirate references must also be tongue-in-cheek. You don’t want to come off as actually being into pirates seriously. That would be idiotic. Again, it’s like a verbal high five in celebration of pirates and what they represent. Consider a literal high five for a moment, between a couple of guys. It’s not about the momentary slapping of skin. It’s a symbolic gesture celebrating good times. If it were actually about the touching, the feeling of the other male’s skin on yours, and that’s what you liked about the high five, your mate would quickly become uncomfortable as you prolonged the gesture, caressing his palm. He would think you were gay. This brings us to the next point…

Call Things “Gay”.

Being associated with homosexuality on the Internet, particularly being called “gay”, is to be avoided. On the other hand, calling people and things “gay” yourself is a good way to help you in your quest to be funny. It lets people know the following:

1) You aren’t too politically correct to humorously equate homosexuality with something negative. This is not to say you dislike gays or the practice of being gay. You just know how to stay loose and have fun, you know?

2) You clearly have opinions on things, particularly dislikes. Hating things, or more importantly, appearing to hate things, is a really excellent way to create the illusion that you have interesting thoughts, and a complex set of criteria for evaluating things for quality. This will intrigue people, who may secretly fear that your outlook on which things are gay might be more sophisticated than their own. Who knows, you may get some converts to your (largely fictional) set of values.

Call Things “Retarded”.

If you don’t see why this word by itself is milk nostril-evacuatingly side-splitting, you’re ****ing retarded.

Conversation Exercises:

Actor A: “Hey man, that website you showed me the other day was so gay.”

Actor B: “You must be retarded. You’re so retarded, your grandmother was raped by ****ing pirates.”

Actor A: “Don’t say **** about my grandmother. She WAS a pirate. Trained by secret ninjas to do some totally un-gay moves on retarded gay people like you.”

Actor B: “I’d appreciate you not bringing my sexual orientation into this.”

Actor A: “Sorry.”

Actor B: “You know, I think you’re right. That website is pretty gay.”

Lesson Summary:

The themes in this lesson you have noticed, and indeed the key most Internet-driven humor, are:
- Mentioning things. By mentioning funny things, you seem funny.
- Use 2 hilarious words a lot.
- Communicate poorly developed opinions with those words.

With a little practice, these rudimentary skills will be yours. Try using Google to dig up a picture of a ninja for your e-journal. Use the word “gay” to describe the next movie you see, even if you like it. Oh man, I’m laughing already!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on May 18, 2010, 04:51:49 pm
Andrew Hussie is a gay pirate.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cobra on May 18, 2010, 06:48:55 pm
Better a Gay Pirate than a Retarded Ninja.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: eropS on May 18, 2010, 08:01:38 pm
You guys are both retarded. This is so gay.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on May 18, 2010, 11:00:30 pm
..Ninja.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on May 19, 2010, 12:05:37 pm
Yeah eropS, I bet you like those high fives, don't you.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: FROMAN on May 19, 2010, 04:04:43 pm
"Strange and bizarre things happen to you with alarming frequency. You are the one with whom demons will stop and chat. Magic items with disturbing properties will find their way to you. The only talking dog on 20th-century Earth will come to you with his problems. Dimensional gates sealed for centuries will crack open just so that you can be bathed in the energies released... or perhaps the entities on the other side will invite you to tea. Nothing lethal will happen to you, at least not immediately, and occasionally some weirdness will be beneficial. But most of the time it will be terribly, terribly inconvenient."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on May 19, 2010, 04:34:16 pm
What's that from?  Sounds interesting.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: FROMAN on May 19, 2010, 05:50:06 pm
No idea, i just found it while going through the internet one day although it might be from doctor who judging by the way its phrased.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on May 19, 2010, 05:57:34 pm
Naw, the blatant references to magic items rules out Doctor Who.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on May 19, 2010, 06:07:31 pm
Well, a quick google search says it's an effect description from GURPS.  There's even a trope for it.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeirdnessMagnet
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on May 20, 2010, 12:02:26 pm
"Canada is like an intelligent 35 year old woman. America, on the other hand, is a belligerent adolescent boy and Australia is Jack Nicholson."

-Douglas Adams
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on May 20, 2010, 03:18:55 pm
"Canada is like an intelligent 35 year old woman. America, on the other hand, is a belligerent and obese adolescent boy and Australia is Jack Nicholson."

-Douglas Adams
Fixed.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cobra on May 20, 2010, 11:38:31 pm
As an Australian is that a compliment?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on May 21, 2010, 06:42:15 am
I dunno, maybe?  You can never be sure with Jack Nicholson.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on May 21, 2010, 08:12:07 am
Rys, you can't just go around 'fixing' Douglas Adams quotes. It just doesn't work that way.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on May 21, 2010, 08:19:48 am
Rys lives on the edge.  He plays by his own rules, nobody else's, not even his own.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on May 21, 2010, 08:22:41 am
It's not a rule. It's a moral dilemma.

If people can go around changing Douglas Adams quotes willy nilly, whose to say that history as we know it is relevant?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Neoadept on May 21, 2010, 09:00:30 am
We've always been at war with Eastasia.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on May 21, 2010, 09:02:53 am
You mispelled Eurasia.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Neoadept on May 21, 2010, 09:25:38 am
You are mistaken, Eurasia has always been our loyal ally against the Eastasian menace.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on May 21, 2010, 10:09:27 am
Ah, my mistake. It was proposterous to suggest that Eurasia would ever have done anything to threaten the glory of Big Brother. Such a scenario could never exist.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on May 21, 2010, 04:57:13 pm
I'm not sure what this has to do with random quotes.

Anyway, in an attempt to stay on topic.

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father.Prepare to die."

And edited, it becomes:

"Hello. my name is Dr.Octagonapus. You killed Pharoah Man. Prepare to die."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on May 21, 2010, 04:59:32 pm
"Hello. my name is Dr.Octagonapus. You killed Pharoah Man. Prepare to be futilely attacked.."
Fixed. ::)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: FROMAN on May 21, 2010, 05:11:38 pm
"As I'm sitting there with a severed head in my hand, talking to it - or looking at it and I'm about to go crazy - literally I'm about to go fly away loose and just far apart I say, 'wow. This is insane.'...and I told myself, 'no it isn't. You're saying that and that makes it not insane.' "
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on May 21, 2010, 09:12:00 pm
"All I can say is that my life is pretty plain.  I like to watch the puddles gather rain.  All I can do is just pour some tea for two and speak my point of view but it's not sane."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: sgore on May 22, 2010, 05:43:33 am
"I think I'd better be alone for a while"
"I understand. I'll go with you.
-Broadcast News
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on May 22, 2010, 05:53:16 am
"So are we Nazis, OR ARE WE NAZIS!"
- Nostalgia Critic, Kickassia
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on May 23, 2010, 12:37:37 am
Quote from: noname
Their faces accidentally meet and their lips softly brushed against each other. They both flinched from the collision before finally realizing what had happened.

"Oh my God! Did I just kiss you?" they both said in unison while pointing their fingers at each other.

"It was an accident I swear!" still in unison. (Loving minds think excuses alike!)


Indeed.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on May 23, 2010, 01:09:28 am
"An ogre's butt." - Quest for Camelot
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on May 23, 2010, 10:50:38 am
"I'm METAL MAN. No, I'm not a dentist."
-Hyadain's "Metal Man, Made of Metal"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on May 23, 2010, 10:58:36 am
Yuu, for some reason, I do not want to know where that came from.

And for on-topicness:

Angry Joe: Sometimes the best way to deal with a madman is to send in another madman...
Linkara: That's a stupid plan!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on May 23, 2010, 11:42:09 am
Yuu, for some reason, I do not want to know where that came from.

And for on-topicness:

Angry Joe: Sometimes the best way to deal with a madman is to send in another madman...
Linkara: That's a stupid plan!

Nostalgia Critic: But surely electromagnetism is science too!
Dr. Insano: WELL I'M SCIENCIER!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Lush City on May 23, 2010, 12:09:45 pm
"We are not predestined in spite of our will, we are predestined because of our will."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on May 23, 2010, 12:16:48 pm
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
-Keyboard Crusher
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: FROMAN on May 23, 2010, 02:32:45 pm
"The internet was won."
-some random person on the net.

-edit-


...

...

...

......I....have no words left...
-another random person
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on May 23, 2010, 05:03:09 pm
"When an object is produced from hammerspace, this is sometimes known as 'hammertime'."

-Wikipedia

>.>
<.<
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on May 23, 2010, 11:47:11 pm
Linkara Starfleet Patton - Excellant shot, Mr. Joe. Except for the fact that you missed.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on May 31, 2010, 01:51:13 am
Dentist: "This [drill] won't hurt a bit!"
Patient: "I don't believe you!"
Dentist: "Don't believe in me! Believe in you, who believes in yourself!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on May 31, 2010, 03:05:38 am
Linkara Starfleet Patton - Excellant shot, Mr. Joe. Except for the fact that you missed.

LordKat - "We heard a gunshot!"
JewWario - "DID IT COME FROM A GUN?!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on May 31, 2010, 03:25:03 am
"You know what happens to motherf***ers who carry knifes? They get.. SHOT"

-Quentin Tarantino's Thunderbolt Death Proof
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: FROMAN on May 31, 2010, 09:23:34 am
more dentistry quotes
"Well, now, if we look here, we can see there's a problem with your brain and we'll have to remove it."
"R-remove my brain? Will it hurt?"
"How should I know? I'm a DENTIST!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on May 31, 2010, 10:26:32 am
"You know how sometimes people say You're okay in MY book! or In MY book that's no good! Well I...actually have....a book.. and everybody I meet goes in this book, and now that I've met you..YOU'RE GOING IN THE BOOK"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on May 31, 2010, 12:39:40 pm
Quote from: Bill Bailey (in the style of Chaucer)
Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe, And gleefullye their handes did rubbe, In expectatione of revelrie, For 'twas the houre known as happye. Greate botelles of wine did they quaffe, And hadde a reallye good laffe. 'Til drunkennesse held full dominione, For 'twas two for the price of one. Yet after wine and meade and sac, Man must have a massive snack, Great pasties from Cornwalle! Scottishe eggs round like a balle! Great hammes, quaile, ducke and geese! They suck'd the bones and drank the grease! (One fellowe stood all pale and wan, For he was vegetarianne) Yet man knoweth that gluttonie, Stoketh the fyre of lecherie, Upon three young wenches round and slye, The fellowes cast a wanton eye. One did approach, with drunkene winke: "'Ello darlin', you fancy a drink?", Soon they caught them on their knee, 'Twas like some grotesque puppettrie! Such was the lewdness and debaucherie - 'Twas like a sketch by Dick Emery! (Except that Dick Emery is not yet borne - So such comparisonne may not be drawn). But then the fellowes began to pale, For quail are not the friende of ale! And in their bellyes much confusione! From their throats vile extrusione! Stinking foule corruptionne! Came spewinge forth from droolinge lippes, The fetide stenche did fille the pubbe, 'Twas the very arse of Beelzebubbe! Thrown they were, from the Horne And Trumpette, In the street, no coyne, no strumpet. Homeward bounde, must quicklie go, To that ende - a donkey stole! Their handes all with vomit greased, The donkey was not pleased, And threw them into a ditche of ****e! They all agreed: "What a brillant night!"

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on June 03, 2010, 06:33:32 pm
Quote from: some guy you probably don't know
All men dissappear over the course of June 1944.

What it says on the tin. Oh, the men dissappear over the course of a month. (Fading effects.) They can only affect reality in proportion ot their visibility.

What happens?

Quote from: another guy you probably don't know
If this were to happen in the Hetalia-verse, and the Nation-tans aren't affected, then at first the series will follow the normal Hetalia timeline. Once the event hits, many, if not all, of the Nation-tans will complain about their bosses starting to disapear. Once the event ends, the Nation-tans find themselves surrounded only by women. Expect the male Nation-tans to try to reproduce with as many girls as possible. Axis Powers Hetalia would quickly shift from a political satire to a Lemon series.

The male Nation-tans, particullary the horny ones, might make their staff wear skimpy outfits. America would make them wear sleeveless vests unbuttoned from the top to the bottom of the chest, unbuttoned from just above the navel down, and buttoned in between. He would also make them wear skirts which form a v-shape above the crotch and extend 8/15 of the way from the crotch to the knees, and long socks which cover the whole lower leg and extend 1/3 of the way from the knees to the crotch. He would make them wear their hair down, and wouldn't let them wear undergarments. With a dress code like that, I wouldn't be suprised if he gets turned on enough to try to seduce at least one of the girls. France would allow more modesty to girls who wear perfumes which he finds smell nicely on them. He and Spain would likely try to flirt with the servants, the latter often getting as physically close to them as possible.

As the years go by, the male Nation-tans may find that more and more new children resemble themselves, turning them into literal Fatherlands. The smarter Nation-tans will realize what is up sooner, which could lead to them taking orphans under their wing. The stupid ones will think it's just a coincidence that more of their citizens look like them, which could lead to interesting situations. America would likely be confused as hell if he finds a kid that insists on calling him "daddy". He'd likely take the kid with him to show to his boss. Since it's not likely that paternity tests will be developed in this timeline, America would likely try to take the kid to his or her mom.

Over time, as more and more people become related to the Nation-tans, they would likely try to start one big family tree, with the male Nation-tans as Patriarchs to a certain branch. As children grow up and intermarry, these branches would connect in those spaces. If all the branches eventually merge into one, everyone would be related to everyone else, although exactly how won't always be clear.


Alien Space Bats.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on June 04, 2010, 10:42:45 am
If I understand correctly people are doing Alternate History of those mangas where the nations involved in WW2 are individual characters at a highschool or something?

And also apparently trail off into a paragraph of descriptions about skimpy outfits.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on June 07, 2010, 04:53:40 am
Spot on! :)

And that's just the start of it.




On a somewhat related note...

Quote from: some guy you probably don't know
Knowing is half the battle.

Quote from: another guy you probably don't know
What's the other half?

Quote from: yet another guy you probably don't know
Gratuitous violence.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: munchkin5 on June 07, 2010, 08:01:18 am
No, the other half is rockets;

http://www.cracked.com/funny-205-g.i.-joe/ (http://www.cracked.com/funny-205-g.i.-joe/)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Tesla on June 08, 2010, 02:36:41 pm
"Good technology is intuitive, better technology is transparent, best technology is invisible. Almost all cell phones are poor to fair."

Martin Cooper, inventor of the cell phone. :D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Lush City on June 08, 2010, 11:31:50 pm
It's Latin (ptooh!) hour!

Iacio in nomen of deus , vos es non crimen.







  Jupiter de gallo !
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on June 10, 2010, 02:35:09 am
John 8:7 a.k.a. Big O's booting procedure?



EDIT:


Quote from: Guy 1
Challege: Achieve 100% recycling by no later than 2050

Bonus points if excess CO2 from the atmosphere can be reused as well.

Quote from: Guy 2
Such an outcome would be neither practical or desirable. Indeed, in my opinion, recycling has gone too far already, or rather, too far in the wrong directions.

Right now you're probably thinking 'woah, climate-denialist nutjob, *ignore*', but allow me to explain.

Paper is a really good example of where recycling is counter-productive on both economic cost and ecological sustainability criteria. At the moment there are two methods of producing paper:

1) From trees. These trees are not just plucked from the wild, they are grown on specialised tree farms. These tree farms are interested in sustaining their business, so they don't overfarm their crops, rather they make sure for every tree they fell, they plant more to take their place, (you may hear about trees coming from 'sustainable tree farms', but a 'sustainable farm' is a tautology, as any farm that was unsustainable would swiftly go out of business). Tree farms usually either share a site with, or are very close to, paper mills, so the transportation costs, (in money and in carbon), are very low. As an added bonus, tree farming is one of the only industries in the world to have a negative carbon footprint. All those trees are absorbing more CO2 than it takes to maintain and fell them.

2) From recycled paper. Recycled paper requires a massive infrastructure. From the point where you throw your paper away, it first must sit in a specialised recycling bin, before being collected by a truck and then delivered to a sorting station many, many miles away from its point of use, there, heavy machinery sorts out what is, and what is not able to be sold on for repulping, (that paper that isn't is sent off to landfill). The select paper is again trucked off to another facility, however many miles away, where it can be processed and repulped. The repulping process involves first removing any impurities from the paper, (i.e. ink and bleach), these impurities cannot be reused, they are now just chemical waste, (indeed, recycling as a whole produces tonnes upon tonnes of chemical waste). Only at this point is the repulped pulp at the same position as the fresh tree pulp, ready to be made into new paper. Let's compare the carbon footprints from the two methods, the recycled paper has been driven around for tens of miles, and fed through several pieces of heavy machinery, whereas the fresh wood paper has been absorbing CO2 for the past few years, and has only had to travel a couple of miles from source to mill.

And companies realise this. Next time you buy paper, check where it comes from, more often than not these days, it is mixed recycled-farmed. This is because they realise farmed paper is more economical and ecological, but they can not abandon their commitment to supporting recycling, for fear of PR fall-out.

So next time you throw away a piece of paper, just stick it in the normal bin. It'll be driven off to landfill, where it peacefully rot away, and rejoin the natural carbon cycle. Yes, that landfill will now contain the inks and bleaches, but they will be in trace amounts, not concentrated like they are after being recycled.

-

And this isn't just true of paper, the early conditions for what should have and what should not have been recycled, (1. Is it more economical to recycle than produce from raw resources, and 2. Is there a scarcity of raw resources, that needs rationing), have long been abandoned, and the goal seems now, (as the OP says), to recycling everything.

To understand why this shift has taken place, we must first understand the business of recycling. Which, firstly, means understanding that it is a business - too many people assume that due to process' ethical image, that the people carrying it out are charities, or some sort of profit-shirking hippie collectivists. The reality is that it is a business, a big, dirty, capitalist business. The business model, however, cannot survive on its own, it needs government support. The recycling business, above all else, needs subsidising, the few materials it can recycle and resell for profit are not enough to pay for the non-profitable recycling processes; metals, principly, are the profitable materials for recycling, aluminium and copper and so on - its also worth noting that these materials have been being recycled for as long as they have been produced, that is because there has always been an economic saving to be made from reusing old metal. In the bronze age, rather than producing new bronze, people were much more likely to resmelt existing bronze items... I guess that makes those guys the first recyclers.

So the refuse industry convinced the world it needed to recycle its paper and glass and plastics, (plastics is a broad group, some are worth recycling, others aren't - it's worth looking into), and the world convinced their governments. We're now, in the developed world, in a state where our governments hand over millions to industry to produce economically uncompetitive materials at a cost to the environment that is far worse than the production from raw resources.

I'll repeat that in bold, because it's really the point of this long, tl;dr-y rant, and it may be the only bit skimmers read: We're now, in the developed world, in a state where our governments hand over millions to industry to produce economically uncompetitive materials at a cost to the environment that is far worse than the production from raw resources.

And what's worse, is that we are all forced to pay for it. And what's worse still, is that we are compelled to labour for this industry for no pay. In much of the UK, if you do not properly sort your rubbish into the appropriate recycling bins, you are liable to a fine. Sorting rubbish is genuine labour, and although it may only account to an hour or so a week, it is still unpaid labour. The UK forces its citizens through state power to labour for the material betterment of a second party. There is a word for that ladies and gentlemen, and it is called slavery.

But many people agree to this because they believe they are helping the Earth. And this is where the actions of the refuse industry go from being irritating to certifiably evil. The people rummaging through their rubbish are not helping the environment, creating a better world for their children, they are being forced to participate in its continued destruction.

-

So what do I suggest we do with our many megatonnes of waste? As I said, there are some materials where recycling does make economic and ecological sense, (as a quick rule of thumb, it's generally okay to recycle anything that was already being commercially recycled prior to 1990). But I believe the future for the majority of our waste is landfill. Currently, the restrictions of where landfills can be placed are mostly artificial, (massive over-caution over groundwater pollution and nimbyism, are the two main constraining factors), in my view, these restrictions should be lifted, so more landfills can be opened, (also, smaller landfills, landfills that can be opened and filled within years, and left to be reclaimed by nature as quickly as possible). Another area I'm quite passionate about, (vertical farming), could also help free up land for these landfills.

Biotechnology could also be very helpful in this regard. The threat of accumulated toxins in landfills is real enough, but if these landfills were filled with bio-engineered microbes, designed to multiply and safely decompose such toxins, or other microbes designed to simply speed up the process of decomposition - then we could rapidly increase the turn-over from rubbish tip to natural land, (and back again, if needs be).

So that would be my ideal waste disposal regime by 2050: less recycling and more technologically advanced landfilling. Using our mastery over nature to insure our products rejoin the wider global material cycle, rather than wasting resources on ideologically motivated production methods.

(Thanks for reading this far).




EDIT2:


Quote from: Person A
Most dystopian post 1900 presidents possible

Okay, i just want to get people's thoughts about the alternate post 1900 presidencies that would be filled with Nightmare Fuel. Okay, got the ball rolling.

Quote from: Person B
Barack Obama. He does nothing about the Gulf oil spill for over fifty days.

Quote from: Person C
they see me trollin'

Quote from: Person D
*facepalm*

how is that dystopian?

Quote from: Person E
Person B is actually a hyper-intelligent tern living in the Mississippi River Delta.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: munchkin5 on June 10, 2010, 07:30:11 am
Quote
recycling stuff

Source?



Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on June 10, 2010, 03:24:57 pm
A board that discusses what would happen if sharks could fly or the Nazis successfully crossed the English Channel.


EDIT: Also...


"One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city [of Marlboro]."

>_>
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Lush City on June 10, 2010, 04:32:08 pm
A wise man once said, Γιατί όχι;
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grazony on June 11, 2010, 02:40:20 pm
Quote from: Dr. Pyro
And if that don't work use more gun.
Quote from: Getinthekitchen
And if that don't work get a bigger gun.
Quote from: MasterBlaster
And if that don't work nuke it from space just to be sure.

Source:
TF2 server where the Engineer update was being discussed. It slowly melted down to insults a little bit after that though.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on June 13, 2010, 05:52:20 am
I think the blue one was the hottest of the four...
The mentally ill ones usually are.

Well, that explains quite a lot regarding a certain literary archetype. >_>
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Lush City on June 13, 2010, 08:49:40 am
They're called Tropes gosh darn it! I love fangirling!!!!!W00t!


That was weird.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on June 13, 2010, 08:59:16 am
No, Literary Archtype.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on June 15, 2010, 05:39:53 am
"Why the hell is the word "j*panese" censored?!"

"Cos j*p was an offensive anti-j*panese slur during WWII. So, of course, j*pan and j*panese are both extremely offensive words."

"Because j*pan has become SO weird and screwed up that their very name is considered a swear word now!"

--anonymouses
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on June 23, 2010, 02:39:56 pm
"Time may be relative, but I think jackassery is fairly linear."

-Someone on the MSPA Forums
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: FROMAN on June 24, 2010, 09:43:23 pm
Quote from: XXX Holic
"Promises, pinky swears, contracts; made one day broken the next. There's only one path for truth, there are so many avenues for dishonesty. unconscious lies and hidden truths, hidden truths and unconscious lies, how do we know where the cycle ends? How do we escape the burden of depict when we finally begin to fell it weighing us down."

-Yuko Ichihara-
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on June 28, 2010, 04:42:56 pm
"I just kick a baby in the face, that felt good."

-Someone on Youtube by the name of "hateworkboy".
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on June 29, 2010, 06:33:05 am
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he'll eat for weeks!"
  - Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on June 29, 2010, 04:45:09 pm
Ḯ̿̀ ̌̓ͩ̈́͝w̏̿͗ͮ̀͏͞i̎ͩ̓͛͛ͯ̇͏͘lͧ͆̔̀͜lͯͬ̈́͋͂ͯ ̅̓͑̐̂͞cͥͬ̏̓̀͠ơͬ̀̄n̡̛͑͒̔ͣ͒̏s̵̆̅͢ư̂̍̓ͤ̋͋͝m̾ͭ͏e̓͑͂ͧ͐̀͜ ̇̎̿ͤ̈ͧͥ̅̚͟ý̵͗͆͑̿͘o̧ͮ̇ͨ̏ű̏̉ͧ̂͠.̶̨̓̿̄ͨ͜

"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he'll eat for weeks!"
  - Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata

Animal Crossing!

I'm ecstatic for a new handheld Animal Crossing being released.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on July 03, 2010, 10:29:43 am
"In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints"
— Graham Norton
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Lush City on July 03, 2010, 11:40:24 am
"Múrþrian þa peuk Romans!"


-Sackers of Rome (attested)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on July 03, 2010, 11:59:56 am
Lush, that's very deep and profound! Thank you for that.

*claps*
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on July 05, 2010, 04:22:40 am
Richard Dawkins snuck over the border into Imperial territory. He was alone, for he had a mission. He was there to assassinate the Pope and take control of the Papal Empire.

The border patrol droids didn't give him much trouble. Nor did the taxi employee.

A few hours later, he had arrived in Rome.

There were stormtrooper patrols and Swiss Guard around the Sistine Chapel. Dawkins managed to disable them by knocking them out with his new power. Within minutes, he was inside. As he wandered by the ceiling painted by Michaelangelo, his first thought was, all that talent wasted on myths. But he shrugged that aside. It could be removed later.

He found the doorway to the Pope's bedroom. He prepared himself, and drew his weapon from his pocket.

It was time.

***

Pope Benedict XVI had just gotten up from his evening prayers. As he performed the Sign of the Cross, he heard the door open behind him. He could tell who had come, but was surprised none the less.

Without turning, he said, "Richard Dawkins. Strange to find someone like you in a Chapel. Have you come to convert, or does your arrogance still blind you?"

Dawkins ignited his blade. Crimson light filled the room. "Your oppression and your lies will not rule this world! Your God cannot help you now."

Now, the Pope turned around. He smiled at Dawkins and, in a calm manner, said, "I find your lack of faith...disturbing."

He lifted his right hand, and fired lightning at Dawkins.

***

Dawkins was stunned at the lightning, but managed to block at the last second. He shut his eyes briefly, and when he opened them, the Pope had drawn his blade and was charging at Dawkins.

The atheist blocked, and blocked again He realized that this room was too confined for him to fight. He managed to retreat, slowly, out of the Papal bedroom. The Sistine Chapel's celing was flooded in light from the lightsabers clashing. Swiss guardsmen attempted to run to the Pope's aid, but he waved them off. "I'll deal with this godless scum myself."

Dawkins tried charging ahead. His comparative youth should have given him an edge, but the Pope had mastered the new power to a greater extent than he had.

Suddenly, Benedict leaped 20 feet over Dawkins' head and attempted to slash his from behind. Dawkins blocked that, too--barely. The fight continued. Soon, the two men fought their way onto the roofs.

***

Grand Moff Piett heard a loud beeping. He activated the holocron. A stormptrooper's face greeted him. "Whatever it is, it had better be worth waking me up", groaned Piett.

The helmet betrayed no emotion. The words did. "Sir, the Pope-Emperor is fighting some atheist with lightsabers!"

Piett woke up entirely then.

The stormtrooper continued. "What should we do?"

Piett thought briefly, and made a decision. "Nothing. We give our services to whoever wins."

***

The Pope slashed at Dawkins with his weapon. The Dome of St. Peter's Basilica was illuminated brightly in the background. The flashes of clashing red blades lit up the rooftops. Dawkins retreated, then leaped across St. Peter's piazza. He leaped several rooftops more. The Pope followed.

Dawkins kept blocking on the banks of the Tiber. Then, he summoned his new powers and threw a bus at the Pope, who blocked almost effortlessly. Dawkins retreated further, and threw a car with more force. The Pope simply ducked, and the car smashed the apartment blocks behind him. He could see police cars, lights flashing, rushing toward the scene.

Dawkins, attempting to cover this retreat, threw not one, but 3 Police vans.

Benedict XVI lost sight of Dawkins, but got back on the chase after a few seconds.

He could see the glow of a lightsaber, up by the cement dome of the Pantheon. He followed.

***

Richard Dawkins took prepared to defend himself on the roof of the Pantheon. He could see the Pope sprint, each bound 10 feet, toward the ancient marvel. Dawkins struck first. He leaped, with his lightsaber forward, at the Pope.

Benedict blocked the strike, and kept on attacking. He lifted his right arm, and Dawkins felt his windpipe close. With his last breath, he struck at the Pope. He managed to distract Benedict, who released his force grip on Dawkins.

As their lightsabers clashed, the blades slashed at the stone and concrete of the fountain before the Pantheon. Bystanders looked on, in shock. Some took out cameras and recorded.

This alarmed Benedict. He didn't want innocent bystanders killed.

He knew he had to move the fight elsewhere.

***

Benedict leaped onto the Pantheon's dome. Dawkins attempted to kill him in mid jump, but missed. He followed the Bishop of Rome.

As they clashed in the streets and on the roofs, buildings and cars were thrown. The Pope launched two Fiats at Dawkins, intending to crush him between them. Dawkins lived, only by smashing the cars just enough to fit him. Dawkins ripped columns from Trajan's forum, and launched them like missiles at the Pope. Buses were launched by both sides, while police helicopters flew overhead, watching helplessly as the two most powerful men on earth fought to the death. The glow of red lightsabers illuminated statues of the Emperors of Rome.

Dawkins ripped the pavement from the streets, attempting to stop the Pope with a wall. The Pope answered by ripping more pavement up and attempting to entomb Dawkins in it. Dawkins cut himself out, and rushed away. He flung trees and columns and lampposts, all in an effort to kill Benedict.

Cars and scooters swerved out of the way. This time, bystanders took cover in houses, in awe of the battle going on before them.

As the Pope leaped through an archway in the Colosseum's exterior walls, Dawkins realized his best chance was to ambush Benedict. He hid in the shadows within the ancient stadium.

Benedict kept his guard up. He walked slowly, carefully. He attempted to probe Dawkins' mind.

You can't win, Dawkins. God gives me strength. God is on my side.

That infuriated Dawkins. He slashed at the Pope, and imagine he was forcing the Bishop of Rome back. He realized they were in the main arena, and saw at least a dozen helicopters flying above, their spotlights illuminating the Colosseum in the night.

Dawkins was growing tired, weary. He focused his energy and tore a helicopter from the sky. As the pilot bailed out and the steel mass fell on the Pope, Dawkins thought he had won.

Nope.

The Pope cut his way out of the steel wreckage. He lunged at Dawkins, lightsaber pulsing. Dawkins tried to block, but he was too slow. His last feeling was that of pain, as the Pope's blade cut through Dawkins' heart.

***

Pope-Emperor Benedict XVI exited the Colosseum. Helicopters still swarmed through the skies. Swiss guardsmen and Imperial troops swarmed the streets, as did police officers. The Popemobile was waiting.

Grand Moff Piett walked over to the Pope. "Congratulations, your Holiness. I trust you have dispatched the assassin."

The Pope smiled. "Yes. Dawkins is dead. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go into the Chapel and thank God."

***

Intelligence Officer Calorum scanned over the rather significant findings on American, Swiss, and Russian neutrino detection units. According to the sensors, an unexplained burst of the minor particles had occured exactly one hour prior to the Anomaly that brought the Executor to this world.

He immediately forwarded his report to the Admiralty, the Moffs, the Grand Moff, and the Pope-Emperor. If another such event should occur, they'd be ready.

***

Nicolas Sarkozy activated the hologram telephone line to the Pope's office. He was greeted by Benedict XVI. "Good morning, Monsieur Sarkozy. What do you need to discuss today?"

Sarkozy took a deep breath. "First, I'd like to congratulate you on your defeat of Richard Dawkins. Next, I'd like to offer to you France's surrender to the Papal Empire. We don't dare try a war, defensive or otherwise, against you."

The Pope smiled. "I thank you for your surrender, but I sense you have a request?"

"I wish to be an administrator, a Moff as your military would call it."

The Pope knew that was coming. "Very well. You shall be Moff of Western Europe, in charge of everything from Gibraltar and the Atlantic to the German border."




 8)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on July 05, 2010, 06:25:41 am
I call popewank.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on July 05, 2010, 07:05:11 am
And I call TL;Snore.
:P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on July 05, 2010, 01:36:57 pm
I call politics.
 :-\
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on July 05, 2010, 01:48:12 pm
I call OMGYESS!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on July 05, 2010, 03:43:39 pm
I call popewank.

His Holiness' Super Star Destroyer, to be exact. (http://www.alternatehistory.com/Discussion/showthread.php?t=131232&highlight=Dawkins)  ;)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on July 05, 2010, 04:54:33 pm
Only I'm allowed to go on that forum.  >:(
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on July 05, 2010, 06:31:15 pm
And only I'm allowed to baselessly and hypocritically make fun of you for it. >:(
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on July 06, 2010, 12:46:05 am
Fine Brandon, I'll stay in Future History, where we have jetpacks.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on July 06, 2010, 01:58:00 am
ASB still has the highest body count, though...

Then again, that's probably not something one should be particularly proud of, huh?  >_>
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Lush City on July 06, 2010, 03:13:19 pm
Lush, that's very deep and profound! Thank you for that.

*claps*

Trans-lingual sarcasm, the best kind.  :)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on July 06, 2010, 04:13:00 pm
ASB still has the highest body count, though...

Then again, that's probably not something one should be particularly proud of, huh?  >_>

Honestly, I've usually been in PC and NPC lately. Otherwise I'm looking at maps and flags.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on July 26, 2010, 01:46:07 am
More from Alternate History!  :)


Quote from: Noravea
Barrack Obama woke up in a free fall. He was scared to death as he struggled to find out what was going on. He was thousands of feet in the air falling towards a large jungle. As he examined the pack on his back, he found what appeared to be a red button. He pressed it, and quickly, a parachute deployed.

He was wearing a back pack with a parachute, and other supplies in side, but other than that, was wearing dress clothing as he usually did. He was tired, he thought it was a dream.

As he crashed into the ground, he hit dozens of branches, which broke his fall more than the parachute did. As he landed, he quickly took off his back pack.

He quickly began to look through his back pack, thinking that maybe it would have a clue as to where he was. Instead, he found a Sub-Machine gun.

Quickly, he turned around upon hearing rustling behind a nearby tree. He then heard rustling behind another tree nearby.

Obama quickly pulled out a pistol that was in the bag and pointed it at one of the trees.

"Who are you!" he yelled as he pointed his gun to the other tree.

Quickly, Queen Elizabeth II, carrying a pistol walked out from the tree. She was wearing a dress, as well as a bullet proof vest. Her hair was messed up, and she quickly nodded towards the other tree.

Kim Jong-Il quickly walked from the other tree, with a heavy machine gun slung around his back.

"What the hell is going on here?" Obama asked as he looked towards Kim Jong-Il.

"President Obama," the Queen began. Kim Jong-Il and myself have been here for nearly an hour, we have no idea what happened."

"I do not know either." Kim said as he looked in the sky, hearing a loud scream.

A body slammed into the ground, face first. Whoever it was, he was dead from the fall. Obama quickly turned the body over.

It was Joe Biden.

"He didn't activate his parachute." Kim said as he pointed to the body.

"Who else is here?" Obama asked. "Is it just us?"

"No, we found Angela Merkel as well, she is several meters away." the Queen said as she helped Obama up. "This way, we have to find out what is going on."

Quote from: catboy637
*cuts to Putin eating a Predator*

"Oh hey, you guys woke up."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on July 28, 2010, 07:37:58 am
    One egg's lower half transformed
    And became the earth below,
    And its upper half transmuted
    And became the sky above;
    From the yolk the sun was made,
    Light of day to shine upon us;
    From the white the moon was formed,
    Light of night to gleam above us;
    All the colored brighter bits
    Rose to be the stars of heaven
    And the darker crumbs changed into
    Clouds and cloudlets in the sky.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on July 28, 2010, 08:52:37 am
Sounds like a reasonable explanation!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on July 28, 2010, 09:02:00 am
This should be officially taught in class as an alternative to the Big Bang theory.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on July 28, 2010, 11:18:15 am
Teach the controversy!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Lush City on July 28, 2010, 12:31:33 pm
In Brightest Day/In Blackest Night/No evil shall escape my sight./Let all who worship evil's might/ beware my power Green Lantern's Light!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Neoadept on July 28, 2010, 01:20:45 pm
In loudest din or hush profound
My ears catch evil's slightest sound
Let those who toll out evil's knell
Beware my power, the F-Sharp Bell!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Putspooza on July 29, 2010, 03:19:57 am
No one knows my pain
No one knows my hell
My unbreakable frame
is just a prison cell

[...]
I can heal any body part
Except this broken heart
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on July 30, 2010, 03:39:14 pm
Quote
Companies such as Sit 'N Sleep Mattress Superstore warn that mattresses double in weight every eight to 10 years because of that accumulation of dust mites, bodily fluids and other wear and tear.

So if a mattress weighs 100 pounds... in ten years it would weigh 200 pounds. Ten years later it would be 400. Another ten years and it'll be 800.

One hundred years from now, your mattress will weigh 51,200 pounds.

One thousand years from now, your mattress will weigh 3.17 x 10^31 pounds. That's 31,700,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds. By this point, I think it should have collapsed into a black hole... a black hole made up entirely of dust mites, bodily fluids and other wear and tear...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on July 31, 2010, 09:41:22 am
That would explain why the escape velocity of most mattresses is so high.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: munchkin5 on July 31, 2010, 09:45:35 am
I actually think 'Sit 'n Sleep Matress Superstore' is orchestrating a worldwide conspiracy to sell potential black hole time bombs to the public and thus bring about the end of the world by exploiting peoples ignorace of the risk associated with exponential funtions.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Didero on July 31, 2010, 10:11:40 am
Either that or they want to make mattresses seem gross to sell more of them.

Though your theory sounds more plausible.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Lush City on July 31, 2010, 11:15:27 am
That would explain why the escape velocity of most mattresses is so high.

Hey-O!
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on August 02, 2010, 07:05:12 pm
Quote
I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina.

-Lady Gaga in Vanity Fair
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on August 02, 2010, 07:21:05 pm
I am maintaining my idea that she is actually a sane and canny woman who knows how to catch the public's eye. Yes, a perfectly sane, shrewd businesswoman.

 :-\
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Cobra on August 02, 2010, 07:37:51 pm
But if she sleeps with people an even number of times she will steal it right back.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Axelgear on August 02, 2010, 08:56:49 pm
I am maintaining my idea that she is actually a sane and canny woman who knows how to catch the public's eye. Yes, a perfectly sane, shrewd businesswoman.

 :-\

I feel the same way about Paris Hilton, honestly. She's proved herself uncannily self-aware on some occasions.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on August 08, 2010, 12:31:32 pm
I am maintaining my idea that she is actually a sane and canny woman who knows how to catch the public's eye. Yes, a perfectly sane, shrewd businesswoman.

 :-\

No, she's probably secretly taking the piss out of the pop music industry. Compare:

(http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/5488/aspitapxr1.jpg) (http://img511.imageshack.us/i/aspitapxr1.jpg/)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kishmond on August 09, 2010, 04:57:24 pm
Quote from: James E. Talmage
The human frailty of running to extremes in thought and actions finds few more glaring examples than are presented in man's dealings with his fellows on religious matters.

As true as it was 100 years ago.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on August 21, 2010, 04:19:39 am
Quote
ASB's restore all old people to their youth and no one grows old and wrinkly again what hapens?

Quote
Terrorism gets legalized, murdering someone is encouraged, we start collecting skulls of the humans we have killed. Eventually, we sort of die out, but small bands survive. Before that, evolution makes it so we get a thicker skin (to stop bullets / knifes penetrating us, and yes, I do know that evolution doesn't work that way (because everyone is getting killed, you are adapting without being killed, it's kind of hard to explain but well)), and we paint ourselves green for camouflation. Eventually, our skin becomes green. We evolve and evolve, still relying on our murderous ways to survive (we are small bands scattered all over the world and still murdering each other (and animals)). Thus, our brains decrease and decrease, but we do breed more and more (we need someone to kill after all). Eventually, upon dying, we automatically lose spores that develop into new humans. We suddenly grow very, very large in numbers, take over the world again, and become the Orks. We then wage gigantic WAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!'s and live very short but very happily ever after.

Quote
okay that's vey unlikely

Quote
Ah, but not impossible. For as you watch our evolution just beginning to unfold, I have already seen the final act. Come, my brother, It's time you see the face of the future. It's time you see the future, while you still have human eyes. This is the next step in our evolution as a species. He who controls the past commands the future, he who commands the future conquers the past. And no, I'm not god, but I'm a close second.


 8)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Grazony on August 22, 2010, 10:49:32 am
Haha that is awesome.  :D
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Leonard_Church on August 22, 2010, 09:12:34 pm
Nancy Astor: “If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee."
Winston Churchill: "If I were married to you, I’d drink it."
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Plank of Wood on August 23, 2010, 03:17:17 am
Churchill is a badass.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on August 23, 2010, 03:48:46 am
Haha that is awesome.  :D


Every time Yuu posts something from that so called Alt History forum they drop another level in my esteem. Currently they are idiots, but they are wavering on the border to Imbeciles.

Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on August 23, 2010, 04:51:47 am
ASB is the 4Chan of alternate history, it's pretty much a given!  :P
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on August 23, 2010, 05:20:53 am
Hey, not all ASB threads are idiotic.

A lot of them, maybe, but not all.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on August 23, 2010, 06:29:56 am
Of course I'd never say all of them were idiotic.  ;)

Just like 4C, there are aslo some pretty marvelous gems in ASB, you just have to dig through mountains upon mountains of Tepes to find them. >_>


Its all Thande's fault.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on August 23, 2010, 07:44:38 am
Like Little Green Men or Swiftly Tilting Galaxy.

Anyway, quote:

Quote from: Carl Sagan
Look again at that dot. That's here, that's home, that's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.
Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.
It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.'
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kishmond on August 23, 2010, 11:29:02 am
About people popping in to threads about Harry Potter, but applies to just about anything:
Quote
Anything that's gone on for as long as the Potter franchise with as much success will engender its own group of haters. It's a contrarian reflex to the relative anonymity of the internet where small-minded people can troll and pick e-fights.

Certainly there are those who probably loved the books and are disappointed by the films, but honest criticism is often overshadowed by low, witless insult. Best to ignore them, much as those people are ignored in life.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Met on September 03, 2010, 12:58:16 am
Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck.
 - George Sanders
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on September 10, 2010, 10:37:20 am
Quote
Sales Tax
Hotel Tax
School Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Excise Taxes
Property Tax
Cigarette Tax
Medicare Tax
Inventory Tax
Car Rental Tax
Real Estate Tax
Well Permit Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Inheritance Tax
Road Usage Tax
CDL license Tax
Dog License Tax
State Income Tax
Food License Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Gross Receipts Tax
Social Security Tax
Service Charge Tax
Fishing License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Building Permit Tax
IRS Interest Charges
Hunting License Tax
Marriage License Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Personal Property Tax
Accounts Receivable Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service FeeTax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax


Tax tower.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on September 11, 2010, 03:07:19 pm
Quote
I am currently being held aloft by no fewer than four giant air duct rats.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on September 13, 2010, 12:39:06 pm
"I am not a complete idiot, some parts are still missing."

(from a flightsim ATC chat window)

-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Clayface on September 14, 2010, 05:02:14 pm
Quote from: Mahatma Gandhi
Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Kishmond on September 14, 2010, 07:48:22 pm
Quote
64. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God" (http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html)
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on September 14, 2010, 07:54:03 pm
Quote from: Vaarsuvius
As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Rysworld on September 14, 2010, 08:37:24 pm
Oh, you read that too?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on October 12, 2010, 03:49:53 am
"I AM IRON MAN, LIKE A SUPERHERO IN A GARBAGE CAN!"

-- Chester A Bum


EDIT:


"When people make things smaller and smaller, it's considered a wonder of modern technology. When nature does it, it's primitive."

-- Anonymous


Bacteria, protozoa and virii should totally get their own version of Animal Planet [Microbe Planet, or something like that]. Heck, I find them even more awesome than most macroorganisms.  :(
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Flisch on October 12, 2010, 03:54:16 am
What? Size is not an indicator of how primitive an organism is. It just happens that most tiny organisms are primitive.

Anonymous should check their facts before spouting out such nonsense.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on October 12, 2010, 04:08:51 am
Exactly his point.  :P

Most laymen tend to think that microbes are made up of just a dozen or so parts, just like in cartoons. >_>

If only more people knew how head-scratchingly complex, and not to mention fascinating, those bugger are. They really do deserve the extra publicity, seeing as they are just that awesome.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: munchkin5 on October 12, 2010, 08:27:50 am
macro organisms are infinitely more complex however as each cell usually has a similar level of complexity as a single micro organism.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Flisch on October 12, 2010, 08:33:40 am
Exactly his point.  :P

Most laymen tend to think that microbes are made up of just a dozen or so parts, just like in cartoons. >_>

If only more people knew how head-scratchingly complex, and not to mention fascinating, those bugger are. They really do deserve the extra publicity, seeing as they are just that awesome.
Compared to multicellular life they're still awkwardly primitive. >____>
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on October 13, 2010, 04:07:54 am
Compared to multicellular life they're still awkwardly primitive. >____>

You guys are missing the point.

The problem is that laypeople usually think that microbes are primitive compared to almost anything that's larger than them.

Some even think supercomputers are more advanced than Staphylococci. I mean, come on...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on October 13, 2010, 01:18:01 pm
Um. They would be right.

I don't see a staphylococcus computing Pi any time soon :I
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Neoadept on October 13, 2010, 06:27:23 pm
Well, computing Pi is actually a pretty simple task.  It's an endless one, but a punch card machine can do it just as well (though a lot slower) given adequate memory.  And that's a pretty terrible measure of advancement.

Which isn't to say you aren't right.  A modern supercomputer could probably simulate a staphylococcus down to the molecular level if you fed it the right program, which could possibly qualify as it being more advanced.  But then, most modern supercomputers are just loads of processing power strapped together.  They are simple structures, but can be used to simulate arbitrarily complex systems.

In conclusion, this argument is stupid because no one defined their terms so it's become a semantics battle.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on October 13, 2010, 06:47:08 pm
The best kind of battle!

In the arena of wits, I fight unarmed.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on October 13, 2010, 07:18:20 pm
Hmm, yes. Hollow and semantic.
Yes, we're doing this joke again...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on October 14, 2010, 03:27:43 am
No we aren't.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Flisch on October 14, 2010, 06:05:35 am
Compared to multicellular life they're still awkwardly primitive. >____>

You guys are missing the point.

The problem is that laypeople usually think that microbes are primitive compared to almost anything that's larger than them.
Yes, exactly...

Saying larger organisms are less complex than a microbe is like saying a clockwork engine is less complex than a single cog wheel...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on October 14, 2010, 08:51:07 am
In case you were listening Flisch, you would have probably realized that I was not talking merely about organisms, but everything in general.

By "almost anything that's larger than them", it is exactly what it says. Basically, some people measure complexity using sheer size alone.

To give you an example, saying that microbes are more primitive compared to computers is like saying that an Analytical Engine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analytical_engine) is more advanced than a PS3.

Now do you understand what I am getting at, Flisch?



Microbes are so advanced they can replicate themselves, specifically every single one of the many millions of parts they have, almost flawlessly. It's virtually a miniature city down there.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: munchkin5 on October 14, 2010, 09:13:15 am
i honestly don't know anyone who actually thinks like that.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on October 14, 2010, 05:02:49 pm
Well, you're lucky, I guess.


Either that or most people around me like to favor electronics over biology, or simply don't care much about the latter.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 14, 2010, 06:00:08 pm
"Memo: 4 pounds of C-4 may be a bit... excessive." - Burt Gummer
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 27, 2010, 06:25:51 pm
"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"


I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?

I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels.

Uh... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career ... ooh, it's all too much for me.

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.

Sure, Brain, but how are we going to find chaps our size?

Uh, I think so, Brain, but we'll never get a monkey to use dental floss.

Uh, I think so Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu.

I think so, Brain, but culottes have a tendency to ride up so.

I think so, Brain, but if they called them "Sad Meals", kids wouldn't buy them!

I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking -- I mean, what would the children look like?

I think so, Brain, but this time *you* put the trousers on the chimp.

Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.

I think so, Brain, but there's still a bug stuck in here from last time.

Uh, I think so, Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent.

I think so, Brain, but I don't think Kay Ballard's in the union.

Yes, I am!

I think so, Brain, but, the Rockettes? I mean, it's mostly girls, isn't it?

I think so, Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby.

Well, I think so -POIT- but *where* do you stick the feather and call it macaroni?

Well, I think so, Brain, but pantyhose are so uncomfortable in the summertime.

Well, I think so, Brain, but it's a miracle that this one grew back.

Well, I think so, Brain, but first you'd have to take that whole bridge apart, wouldn't you?

Well, I think so, Brain, but "apply North Pole" to what?

I think so, Brain, but "Snowball for Windows"?

Well, I think so, Brain, but *snort* no, no, it's too stupid!

Umm, I think so, Don Cerebro, but, umm, why would Sophia Loren do a musical?

Umm, I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?

I think so, Brain, but isn't that why they invented tube socks?

Well, I think so Brain, but what if we stick to the seat covers?

I think so Brain, but if you replace the "P" with an "O", my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?

Oooh, I think so Brain, but I think I'd rather eat the Macarana.

Well, I think so *hiccup*, but Kevin Costner with an English accent?

I think so, Brain, but don't you need a swimming pool to play Marco Polo?

Well, I think so, Brain, but do I really need two tongues?

I think so, Brain, but we're already naked.

We eat the box?

Well, I think so, Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?

I think so, Brain *NARF*, but don't camels spit a lot?

I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants?

I think so, Brain, but Pete Rose? I mean, can we trust him?

I think so, Brain, but why would Peter Bogdanovich?

I think so, Brain, but isn't a cucumber that small called a gherkin?

I think so, Brain, but if we get Sam Spade, we'll never have any puppies.

I think so, Larry, and um, Brain, but how can we get seven dwarves to shave their legs?

I think so, Brain, but calling it pu-pu platter? Huh, what were they thinking?

I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?

I think so, Brain, but if we give peas a chance, won't the lima beans feel left out?

I think so, Brain, but if we had a snowmobile, wouldn't it melt before summer?

I think so, Brain, but what kind of rides do they have in Fabioland?

I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?

I think so, Brain, but three round meals a day wouldn't be as hard to swallow.

I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice?

Umm, I think so, Brain, but three men in a tub? Ooh, that's unsanitary!

Yes, but why does the chicken cross the road, huh, if not for love?  (sigh)  I do not know.

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but I prefer Space Jelly.

Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but how will we get three pink flamingos into one pair of Capri pants?

Oh Brain, I certainly hope so.

I think so, Brain, but Tuesday Weld isn't a complete sentence.

I think so, Brain, but why would anyone want to see Snow White and the Seven Samurai?

I think so, Brain, but then my name would be Thumby.

I think so, Brain, but I find scratching just makes it worse.

I think so, Brain, but shouldn't the bat boy be wearing a cape?

I think so, Brain, but why would anyone want a depressed tongue?

Um, I think so, Brainie, but why would anyone want to Pierce Brosnan?

Methinks so, Brain, verily, but dost thou think Pete Rose by any other name would still smell as sweaty?

I think so, Brain, but wouldn't his movies be more suitable for children if he was named Jean-Claude van Darn?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but will they let the Cranberry Dutchess stay in the Lincoln Bedroom?

I think so, Brain, but why does a forklift have to be so big if all it does is lift forks?

I think so, Brain, but if it was only supposed to be a three hour tour, why did the Howells bring all their money?

I think so, Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel.

I think so, Brain, but if we have nothing to fear but fear itself, why does Elanore Roosevelt wear that spooky mask?

I think so, Brain, but what if the hippopotamus won't wear the beach thong?

(Pinky)  Whoof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim Brain.
(Brain)  True.
(Pinky)  I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?
(Brain)  To my knowledge, never.
(Pinky)  Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?
(Brain)  Next to nil.
(Pinky)  Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
(Brain)  Therefore, you *are* pondering what I'm pondering.
(Pinky)  Poit, I guess I am!


---------------------------
-Lego


Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on January 31, 2011, 05:43:50 am
"Macross Daedalus Attack: Because nothing says "Screw You!" like punching them in the face with an aircraft carrier."
~ Anonymous


"They will know pain, they will know suffering, and then, and only then, they will die."
~ Anonymous


EDIT:


"Perhaps as a culture we've realized we've peaked.
There will never be any interstellar spaceships, colonized planets, or a god damned flying car for that matter.
Our civilization is nearing its end and our greatest technological achievement will be the ipad...
And that Japanese robot that falls down all the time."

 ;D



EDIT:


Guy1: What is a man?

Guy2: Okay, first, get a mirror. Second, look inside of it. That is a man. It can't be a woman because There Are No Girls On The Internet.

Guy1: But Drac's asking it and he doesn't appear in a mirror.

Guy3: He's no man! He's a... space station! ...Vampire, you dolt.


EDIT:


Heisenberg is driving along the autobahn and gets pulled over by a cop.
The cop walks up and asks "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg says "No, but at least I know where I am."


Heheh...
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on February 14, 2011, 04:19:05 pm
Quote
The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, "What is the tortoise standing on?" "You're very clever, young man, very clever", said the old lady. "But it's turtles all the way down!"
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on March 12, 2011, 11:13:08 am
7 Habits of Highly Effective Pirates:
By Howard Tayler of Schlock Mercenary

Rule 1: Pillage then burn.
Rule 2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on
Rule 3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.
Rule 4: Close air support coverth a multitude of sins
Rule 6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
Rule 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.
Rule 9: Never turn your back on an enemy.
Rule 10. Sometimes the only way out is through
Rule 11. Everything is air-droppable at least once.
Rule 12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
Rule 16: Your ship's name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.
Rule 21: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.
Rule 27: Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
Rule 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy, no more, no less.
Rule 30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Rule 31: Only cheaters prosper.
Rule 34: If you're leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
Rule 35: That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
Rule 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.
Rule 37: There is no “overkill”. There is only “open fire” and “I need to reload”.
Rule 38: Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.
Priority number one: get paid.
Priority number two: Live long enough to spend your money.
Do what I do. Learn to feel good about yourself when you get paid.


This was from a corp bio in Eve Online
-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Haseri on March 12, 2011, 02:02:24 pm
Actually it's the The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries, due to copyright dispute.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on June 28, 2011, 11:40:38 am
From the Eve Online Forums:

"Also, in space, loud noises like explosions and turret fire are EXTRA LOUD because there is no air to get in the way of the sound."-Najian


-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Clayface on June 29, 2011, 12:20:48 am
when i was young (like 10 or so) i thought that way, because if you don't understand how sound waves work it sounds plausible that sound would travel farther in space because there is nothing to get in the way, but in reality, it's the exact opposite,
sound needs a physical medium in which to travel, and space being a vacuum has nothing in which sound can travel on,
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on June 30, 2011, 06:18:01 am
"You have to recognize the huge difference between "arguing" by strongly stating your side, and simply trying to bludgeon the other person into silence with brutal slaps from your word-dick.
-Cracked.com (http://"http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-anger-management-tips-internet-could-really-use/")
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on July 08, 2011, 10:19:40 am
Quote from: Avalon1
In this thread, name fictional guards that you feel are the worst at their jobs.

I'd have to name the Toads in Mario for countless reasons.

Quote from: Shadow Archon
Oh please, it is obvious that Princess Peach wants to be captured by Bowser and saved by the Mario Bros. for thrills. Lets see, Bowser and Peach play in multiple sport events with no problems, including their soldiers, and they have no problem with it. These worst enemies get along together just fine playing board game like activities, baseball, soccer, and whatnot.

Remember Super Mario Bros., Where toad would say, “The Princess is in another castle!”? The exit is right past him! He wasn’t being held against his will. He was there voluntarily obviously. He could have walked right out, but nope, he didn’t. More recent events have become more elaborate to fool Mario into a sense of being a hero. Remember, Bowser has technically not killed any of the Mushroom Kingdom’s inhabitants; he only kidnaps them or transforms them via magic.

Also, Bowser has kids, and there is no miss Bowser around. Either Peach has been doing something in her captivity, or Bowser actually already has a wife hidden from Mario. Since they don’t look genetically different from their father except for some quirks and that Koopas have crazy durability and the magic to come back from the dead, either fully or in a skeletal state, its obvious that she is somewhere and not dead.

Bowser is close friends with Peach, as we can see.  When the actually world or universe is threatened by an external force, he joins Mario to protect Peach. He only keeps up this tough guy visage to trick Mario into a lifetime of playing cops and robbers, just with the money replaced with people.  The Mushroom Kingdom already has gold magically appearing from nowhere, so they should have military force that is equal to the Koopa Kingdom, or even more so.

Remember, those power-ups we see Mario using?  Those are created by the Mushroom Kingdom! If they wanted to, they could arm their Toads with them! We know they are not cowards from the multiple times we see them play sports with the very same things they run from in the normal adventures, constantly! In fact, we even know that in the Super Mario RPG, that outlying Toads normally carry Bazookas as a defense against invaders. What do we see instead, the Koopa Kingdom using them.  Fire Bros. using fireflowers, Koopas using MegaStars, MicroGoombas using microshrooms, and even MegaGoombas using supershrooms. That’s right, the Mushroom Kingdom is smuggling weapons to Bowser’s armies in order to keep Princess Peach in her repeated adrenaline junkie state of being captured and saved over and over again. We already know she is magical enough to beat Bowser on her own, when she doesn’t feel like playing as we see in Super Princess Peach or Super Mario Bros. 2.

So really, Peach has trapped both Mario and Luigi into a state of perpetual hero. Eventually Mario must know that she has him like a fly trapped on a spider’s web. Constantly saving her, only having her kidnapped shortly again afterwards with no stop in sight. He even has to put up with Bowser playing with him in sponsored Mushroom Kingdom events. The very ruler that threatens him over and over again plays go-karts and golf with him every other Thursday.

This must mean one thing for this thread. Toads are not incompetent. They are doing exactly as they are ordered.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: dndfreak on July 08, 2011, 12:08:54 pm
wow, that's one helluva word-dick.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Yuu on July 09, 2011, 07:40:02 am
Indeed.



Not every person is going to like every game DnD, It may not be your kind of game.

Its like minecraft and castlevania had a baby.


That... actually makes a terrifying amount of sense.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on July 09, 2011, 10:48:20 am
Quote
Trying to seduce your computer won't make you a better programmer. Believe me, I've tried.
~Martyk
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: gec05 on July 14, 2011, 08:02:51 pm
Quote
Whenever I hear the word "orientation" I imagine a fat white guy shuddering & morphing into a tiny Asian woman.

Quote
holy **** I'm filled with blood!

Quote
There are some things you can't unsmell.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on July 19, 2011, 07:16:22 pm
After one argument on AH.com...

Quote
And this is why I am not on the debate team.

Quote
What are you talking about? You'd be perfect.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on September 05, 2011, 02:38:58 pm
"Now we live in an amazing, amazing world. And it's wasted on the crappiest generation of spoiled idiots that don't care." -Louis C.K.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on September 05, 2011, 03:49:04 pm
That was a great video! He rocks.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on September 26, 2011, 12:58:47 pm
"Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no!" - Captain Wild Bill Kelso

-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: PatMan33 on September 26, 2011, 01:07:07 pm
*glares at Flisch*

*mouths "this isn't over"*
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Legodragonxp on October 10, 2011, 08:10:46 am
In summation, if you’re in a survival situation, the only thing you need to know about a spotted owl is that it tastes like chicken - M4040

http://www.m4040.com/Survival/Mother%20Nature.htm

-Lego
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on October 10, 2011, 01:59:24 pm
Thats basically what bugged me about Avatar.

Its a crappy parable to be aiming at us because unlike Pandora, out planet is innately hostile to us. Thanks to their amazing circle of life nature magic, the Navi never seem to suffer from ill health or food shortages. With their total lack of scientific knowledge they should constantly be dying of things like rotten teeth or asthma.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Hydromancerx on October 11, 2011, 03:41:23 am
Thats basically what bugged me about Avatar.

Its a crappy parable to be aiming at us because unlike Pandora, out planet is innately hostile to us. Thanks to their amazing circle of life nature magic, the Navi never seem to suffer from ill health or food shortages. With their total lack of scientific knowledge they should constantly be dying of things like rotten teeth or asthma.

True, however in some places in the world where animals never have seen people they are tame/dumb. Sadly those animal seem to go extinct first.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Brandonazz on October 11, 2011, 06:39:01 am
"WOLOLO"
-St Thomas Aquinas
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Gnoll on October 21, 2011, 10:50:13 am
I see what you did there.

Also, here's a pun for you:

(http://img67.imageshack.us/img67/2061/cscv00oe1.png)

It's the Random QUOTE Bonanza, right?
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Slinky on October 21, 2011, 01:02:46 pm
Durhaha! Durp.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: martyk on February 21, 2013, 06:12:38 pm
“In our more modern times, when women are distracted by such things as education, emancipation, and shirtless garden boys, it takes fully nine months for a child to grow in the womb. But back then, a woman could — if she concentrated — conceive and give birth to a child in ten days flat.
Pippa and Harry now had twenty-three children; all of them were boys. They had named the children after the great British virtues: As well as Capability and Sobriety, there was Bravery; Nobility; Punctuality; Good Spelling; Charm; Civility; Manners; Fudginess; Likes Tea; Hates French; Loves Latin; Prays Hard; Doesn’t Spit In The Street; Complains Not; Tasty; Yummy; Delicious; Happy; Sleepy; Grumpy; and their youngest son, Exploit The Colonies.”

—    Sir Philip Bin, Bleak Expectations Series 2 Episode 1
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Krakow Sam on February 22, 2013, 12:30:44 am
Bleak Expectations kicks ass.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Slinky on February 22, 2013, 12:14:20 pm
Agreed.
Title: Re: The Random QUOTE Bonanza!
Post by: Hydromancerx on May 19, 2017, 03:41:42 pm
Also Bonanza, but not image.