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Topics - Plank of Wood

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Everything Else / Wholesome-yet-passionate Debate Thread
« on: December 08, 2016, 10:43:35 am »
A thread for arguing over things that aren't important but we can still get very angry about

Anything can be debated apart from 1) Politics, 2) Religion

First matter: What is appropriate ketchup etiquette? I for one believe ketchup should only ever be used for dipping, it should never be directly applied to food itself. Furthermore, the only appropriate foods to be dipped are fries, or food that can go with fried. Sandwiches are out of the question.

I hope hear your (completely wrong) opinions on the matter.

TV / Twin Peaks
« on: November 29, 2014, 06:56:02 pm »
It's coming back.

!elyts ni kcab gnimoc si ekil uoy mug eht taht, swen doog evah I

« on: November 29, 2014, 06:27:30 pm »
when you fry eggs, if you fry both sides rather than just sunny side up it's actually very good

that is all

Movies / Les Miserables
« on: December 24, 2012, 01:59:33 am »

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All you need to know is Catwoman, William Wallace and Wolverine sing in this.

For people who haven't been dragged to a school performance of this musical, it's about a French rebellion (but not the important one in 1848 or the REALLY important one in 1789) and also poor people suffering.

So here's my idea: The Game is set in a Kingdom on the Verge of Civil War in the time period around about the French Revolution. Essentially, the King, mad in his old age, cannot rule the kingdom, and instead a Regent rules instead; whilst the new Regent is not the kindest nor the most competent of rulers, it presents an opportunity to the opposition: now that the King's court is divided and weak, Revolution!

You guys play several different powerful characters in the Kingdom, some of you are Monarchists, some are Radicals and some are Nationalists.

  • Monarchists are, well, monarchists. They want the eponymous Ancien Régime to survive these times.
  • Radicals are the revolutionaries - they want to see the old dictators of the past gone and a new republic of freedom to be established.
  • Nationalists represent an ethnic minority in the Kingdom that seek independence - however some may be Radicals and others may be Monarchists that simply want independence in favour of a Monarch that better represents their people's interests.

As well as the factional conflict, some players will have individual victory conditions, for example:

  • Some Monarchists will also be constitutionalists, and will lose if the monarchy doesn't concede some kind of political reform.
  • Some Radicals will want a united Republic, and so they cannot win if there are nationalists still alive.
  • One player may be assigned to kill another, and doesn't win unless that player is dead.
  • A Traitor may appear mid-game, who seeks to reverse the success of their own faction, or even overthrow the regime for themselves

The game itself is map-based, and each faction has two types of players: Military leaders and Political Leaders. Military Leaders control where your armies, attacks or armed rabble go, whilst political leaders rule the land and take care of production. Working together and communication is essential to survive, as political leaders need to use their abilities to keep their gains stable, whilst military leaders need to, y'know, make sure they don't die.

Political Leaders need to spend different attributes in lands under their faction's control to do actions, which can either be buffing their own lands or depleting the enemies. Military Leaders use Supplies to launch attacks or upgrade their forces, or add defences to a province. Combat will be number based, and probably based on the combat in Risk.

Random events will happen every few turns, which can range from anything from extra supplies for one nation to a new counter-revolution.

Finally, the game will end once a faction achieves a victory condition - For the Radicals it is to overthrow the Monarchy and establish a republic, for the Nationalists it's to control every region that is associated with their Nation and for the Monarchists it is to completely destroy the Radicals.

Post if you're interested/have a question/want to sign up/want to tell me how this idea could be better.

You were dragged out of bed by your fellow townsfolk, shouting that the Elves were coming to arrest those that spoke out against their occupation, and suppress you. You are startled, less so because of the shock of waking or the fact that butchers were coming to probably ransack your home town, but by the cold icy grip of the farmer's musket they press into your hand.

It's been a long time.


You shortly arrive on a cornfield outside the town, by the stream. The bridge had been smashed into shards, in the hope of delaying the hated Greenshirts. Organisation is poor and there is no real leadership amongst the armed rabble. However, someone eventually manages to shout over the anxious crowd that you are the only one here with real leadership experience. You are flattered, and with no-one else to turn to, the defenders turn to you.

You order the game hunters - the best shots in the town - to take our best rifled muskets and take refuge in the wooded hill, and have a vantage point over the elves.

The elves arrive shortly afterwards.

The armed rabble fire first, with little order.

Defender Turn

Rabble 1 (30) fires at Elf Militia 1 (40)
Roll 1: 19
Roll 2: 13
Hits for 13 FP Damage!

Rabble 2 (30) fires at Elf Militia 2 (40)
Roll 1: 14
Roll 2: 7
Hits for 7 FP Damage!

Irregular Sharpshooters (30) fire at Elf Militia 1 (27)
Roll: 8
Hits for 8 FP Damage!

Attacker Turn

Attacker Turn

Elf Militia 1 (19) fires at Rabble 1 (30)
Roll 1: 8
Roll 2: 5
Hits for 5 FP Damage!

Elf Militia 2 (33) fires at Rabble 2 (30)
Roll 1: 26
Roll 2: 2
Hits for 2!

Your men shot well, theirs did not. On the face of it, we appear to have the upper hand.

Round 2

Rabble 1 (25) fires at Elven Militia 1(19)
Roll 1: 18
Roll 2: 11
Hits for 11!

Rabble 2 (28) fires at Elven Militia 2 (33)
Roll 1: 5
Roll 2: 5
Hits for 5!

Irregular Sharpshooters (30) fire at Elven Militia 1 (8.)
Roll 1: 3
Hits for 3!

Attacker Turn

Elven Militia 1 (5) fires at Rabble 1 (25)
Roll 1: 5
Roll 2: 0

Elven Militia 2 (28) fires at Rabble 2 (28)
Roll 1: 28
Roll 2: 4
Hits for 4!

Your God! It appears that one of the Elven units is wavering! Your men are fire as if possessed!

Round 3

Defender Turn

Rabble 1 (25) fires at Elven Militia 1(5)
Roll 1: 1
Roll 2: 0
Miss! (RNG is a bastard D:)

Rabble 2 (24) fires at Elven Militia 2 (28)
Roll 1: 24
Roll 2: 14
Hits for 14!

Irregular Sharpshooters (30) fire at Elven Militia 2(10)
Roll 1: 11
Hits for 11!
Elven Militia 2 is Broken!

In a volley that will go down in the history books, you manage to rout a unit, the other isn't far off either!

The other unit is stubborn, however, and doesn't follow it's comrade's example. You are the De Facto leader, though it may not seem like it, and you could give the order to drive them off.

Do you:

A) Stay in your place, breaking them easily in the next volley.
B) Launch a charge across the stream to drive them off.

After all, you'd need to have the leadership and descision making skills that would be natural to a former:

1) Cavalry Commander, famed for daring flanking attacks.
2) Captain of a Regiment of Infantry-of-the-Line, known for inspiring the men to fight on against torrents of fire.
3) Leader of a Group of Light Infantry, commended for behind-enemy-lines activities.

Get posting!

Everything Else / Krakow Sam, you have been charged with murder
« on: August 17, 2011, 01:44:02 pm »
Krakow Sam, you are hereby ordered to court to be judged by your internet-peers for the murder of Tesla.

Good luck.

Storytelling and Roleplaying / Dwarf Fortress Adventure Mode
« on: August 06, 2011, 01:38:44 pm »
Pop! You have just come into existence! Sweet!

You must ask yourselves a few Questions about your current situation:

What is your Name?
What race are you?
What is your Quest?
What weapon do you prefer to use?

And the question to be answered by everyone you will ever meet:

How quickly will you die?

Everything Else / Gaming steve in 30,000BC
« on: July 06, 2011, 10:34:46 am »
Stick of Tree has invented a burney thing!

Stick of Tree also thinks that forum should build fence to protect meat pile from wolves.

Spore: Creation Corner / Kosmosis - The Fluurp
« on: June 21, 2011, 06:28:38 pm »

The Fluurp

In Brief:

Having evolved on a low gravity world, the Fluurp have a jellyfish-like appearance; using long, strong arms they navigate the asteroid fields on their home planet's mid-atmosphere, and use their helium filled gas-bladder to keep themselves suspended in midair. After Forming huge colonies on the larger of these rocks, the Fluurp began to industrialise, and started to create a hierarchy - a class system - on these colonies. This system endured for several thousands of years, becoming stronger and more oppressive over time.
And then everything changed.
Suddenly, intellectual Fluurps began a wave of new ideals - "Equal Rights", "Power to the Workers" and "No More Classes!" After a brief, yet bloody, revolution the Fluurps united the planet under one ideal: "Equality".  
As the Fluurps took to space, they began to spread their ideas to the other races they met - and responded almost with disgust to the ideas of "Religion", "Monarchy" or even "Presidents". The Fluurps grew more and more isolationist towards other races, only negotiating with those that shared their ideals. They tried to make a fortress for themselves, where they could be free from oppression from other races, using other client races to protect their borders and give them security. Whilst not a naturally xenophobic race, the Fluurps began to resent the capitalists, the monarchs, the oppressors, and to this day continue to remain a fortress of Socialist idealism and an ironically oppressive crackdown on those that challenged the Communist Regime.

(Section 1 -- Biology)
Type                 : Aerial (Terrestrial if in higher gravity)
Appearance           : Otherworld
Gravity preferences  : Very Low/Low
Temperature pref.    : 10-15°C
Atmosphere breathed  : Oxygen
Body cover           : Epidermis
Body color           : Pale blue, with red features
Hair                 : None
Hair color           : N/A
Eyes                 : Stalked/4 eyes
Eyes color           : Black
Body characteristics : A jellyfish like creature with a large gas bladder, four long forearms for grasping and many smaller appendages for sensory input.
Diet                 : Carnivore
Sexual reproduction  : Asexual
Reproduction method  : Eggs/Egg Clusters in the air, working on a spore basis.
Limbs pair n° 1 : Four Long arms with graspers on the end, used for navigating the floating rocks of their home planet, as well as fending off predators. Usually around 10-12ft long
Limbs pair n° 2 : Many (Up to 30!) smaller sensory limbs under it’s body for more dexterous actions. Some of the limbs have eyes on them..
Mass :  100kg
Size :  Arms can reach up to 10-12ft long, and can stand upright to this height on higher gravity worlds.

(Section 2 -- Culture)
  Militancy       : 17
  Determination   : 13
  Racial tolerance: 15
  Progressivness  : 11
  Loyalty         : 16
  Social cohesion : 14
  Art          : 5
  Individualism   : 7
  Body            : 8
  Mind            : 10
  Speed           : 7
  Lifespan        : 60-70 years
  Tech level      : 8

(Section 3 -- Government and Religion)
Government type   : Communist Imperialist Dictatorship
Religion          : Rational Atheism
Devotion          : None

(Section 4 -- Extra things you should know)
Special abilities:
-   360 Vision
-   Ambidextrous
-   Cold Blooded Biology
-   Disease Tolerance
-   EM Imaging
-   Field Sense
-   High Fecundity
-   Independent Eyes
-   Light Sleeper
-   Manual Dexterity
-   Wall Climbing

Would add more but it's 2 in the morning and holy god I need to sleep. More detail soon, guys.

Everything Else / It's time to Deal with this Menace
« on: May 28, 2011, 01:44:15 pm »
I think it's time that we, as a forum, deal with the menace known as "Sam".

I myself shall hunt him from the shadows, waiting for him to make a mistake. And when he does, I will bring him to justice - and may god have mercy on his tortured soul when he is brought to account for his crimes.

And just call me... The Plank.

Everything Else / Ratko Mladic is CAPTURED!!!!
« on: May 26, 2011, 07:31:44 am »
Read Topic Title.

*EDIT: Link.

Good Chums! What is the current opinion within the gentlemen present of our engagement of warfare with the savage Siamese? Surely they cannot respect the power of our good King and Country without use of force!

As well as this, I would like to commend the gentleman here who won his wager to acquire a teapot from every European nation in under a month! Good show!

Everything Else / Super Secret Treehouse! (No Girls Allowed)
« on: May 04, 2011, 11:37:04 am »
Guys I brought my Gameboy Advance, but I can't be here too long because my mom says my bedtime is 9pm now.

Also I heard that Lady M has cooties.

Everything Else / I Now Have Control of the Forum
« on: April 10, 2011, 02:16:45 pm »
The oppression of the Moderators has been destroyed!

I hereby declare Everything Else the People's Republic of Plank; Death to the Mod oppressors!

First matter of Business - invading the PC Games forum.

Lets get moving everyone, we have a job to do!

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