Topic: Sburbian Jungle Disc 2

[Flisch]

Act 1: The Beginning

Your name is ALICIA KREMLIN. There are a few remarkable things you notice about today. The birds are chirping and the sun is shining. What more does a fine lass like you want? Of course, you hate outdoors activities so you decide to turn on the computer. With a soft whirring it springs to life and soon you're browsing the web on your magnificent Fenrir browser. Man, whoever uses anything but Fenrir is a lame-o. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a small brown package. As swift as the wind you run over and your hands make quick work of the packaging. Out of the box you retrieve two DISCS. A SERVER DISC and a CLIENT DISC. You are excited as ever and decide to ask your bestest e-friend if he has received his SBURB DISCS as well. You sure hope so, he promised he'd play it with you. And hopefully you can add your other friends to the fun! You start pestering marineCopilot!


-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] began pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 02:28 --

TG: Hey!
MC: Hey.
TG: How are you man :DD
MC: I'm fine.
MC: Too windy outside.
MC: So I can't test out my new model. :T
TG: Hey so, did you check out your mail today?
TG: Aww, that sucks : ((
MC: Guess I'm stuck at home all day...
MC: Yeah.
MC: Haven't sifted through it though. >_>
TG: Aaaaaand?
TG: Oh
MC: My mother usually do that.
MC: does*
TG: I see.
TG: I'd go look through it
TG: I'll wait up :DD
MC: Mmh, ok.
MC: brb

-- marineCopilot [MC] ceased pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 02:31 --

You go downstairs as you wonder what could have arrived today. Maybe your best friend sent you a letter?

Nah, that's unlikely, why would she if she can send you an e-Mail or just pester you in realtime. There must be something else she wants you to see.

On the couch in the living room lies your mother. She got home from work some time ago and is exhausted. You decide to walk very quietly not to wake her. Finally you are in the main corridor. On a little table next to the door you spot the mail. It mostly consists of newspaper and bills and you sift through it, albeit slowly, so you don't make too much noise. You wouldn't want your mother to catch you snooping through the mail.

After just a few seconds you found it. Two envelopes with one disk each. They're part of a new game you signed up for. It's beta, but your friends talked you into getting it anyway, so you could all play even before it gets released.

You grab the two envelopses and put the rest of the mail back onto the table. Then you quickly sneak back to your room to tell Alicia the news.

You patiently wait for your friend to return.

-- marineCopilot [MC] began pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 03:14 --

MC: Okay.
TG: Well?
MC: I think I found what you meant.
TG: Awesome!
MC: I've got two Sburb disks.
MC: Why two anyway?
TG: Alright!
TG: Well, there's a server disk and a client disk, if you look closely.
MC: Ah.
MC: Okay.
TG: Because you're being bored, let's cheer you up!
TG: You can be the client!
TG: :DD
MC: Umm, okay.
TG: So you basically just pop the client disk in, and I'll pop in the server disk.
MC: Alright.
TG: Tell me when you're done.
MC: Sure.
MC: It's installing right now.
TG: I'll do the same hold on.
MC: Odd, it doesn't have a setup. :|
TG: It's kind of cool isn't it?
TG: It's all high-techy and ****.
MC: Yeah.
MC: Finally some kind of convenient game.
MC: Without all the hassle other games have.
MC: There, I think it's done.
TG: Mine's nearly done...
MC: At least the flashy images and the weird music stopped.
TG: There we go!
TG: Alright so.
MC: Mmh.
MC: I can't see anything.
TG: I can see you on my screen.
MC: Maybe it crashed?
MC: Wait, what?
TG: Together with a HUD of some sort.
TG: Yeah it's kind of weird.
MC: What do you mean, you see me?
TG: Why are you wearing a hat and goggles? You're inside.
MC: I don't even have a camera on my monitor.
TG: I don't know man. It's pretty weird.
MC: This is creepy. How do you do this. >_>
TG: You're kind of cute :33
MC: Doesn't help.
TG: I know bro, just yanking your chain :DD
MC: >_>
MC: So you mean like... Can you see me waving my hand?
MC: Like this?
TG: Yeah! Hi there :DD
MC: :|
TG: Oh, hold on!
TG: It seems like I have a hand of some sort!
TG: Let me see what it does.
TG: Your bed should be levitating if this is real.
MC: What the!!!
MC: This is crazy.
TG: Hey, this is incredibly fun!
MC: Don't break anything.
MC: My mother will be mad!
MC: How am I going to explain this.
TG: Ok, stop crying like a little baby! I'll put it down!
MC: Well, thanks.
TG: Hey, this is awesome!
MC: Is this some sort of augmented reality thing?
MC: I mean, it looks so real.
TG: Looks like I can actually expand your room.
TG: Let's see...
TG: Just click and drag it says...
TG: Your room should be bigger now :DD
MC: ._.
TG: Hey, this cost grist or something!
MC: Grist?
TG: We don't have a lot of it, it seems.
TG: Yeah, it's like this icon that looks like a fruit gusher.
MC: I can't see any icon, remember.
TG: Well I just explained you how it looks like silly!
TG: Ahh, I see, ok you should have two new things.
MC: :T
TG: Called a captchalogue deck and a strife specibus
MC: So, what's the point of this game again?
MC: Just messing with other people's homes?
TG: Apparently.
TG: Let's just mess around with it to see what happens.
TG: It's probably not real anyway, right?
MC: I don't know.
MC: If it's not, I wouldn't know how to turn it off. D:
TG: Oh.
TG: Uhm.
TG: ****.
MC: What?
TG: Richard.
MC: What did you do?
TG: Don't uhm, freak out.
TG: But I just send your chest flying.
TG: Had it anything valuable in it?
MC: My...chest?
TG: Yeah, the one besides your bed.
MC: Well, for starters, I had all my fish food stored in it.
MC: D:
TG: Well, hold on!
TG: Apparently, according to this I need to put an alchimethingy and stuff in your house.
TG: Did you find your captchalogue deck and strife specibus yet?
MC: But how does that bring back my fish food?
MC: What should I feed my fish with?
TG: Stop crying you big baby :DD
TG: We'll figure it out.
MC: D:
MC: Oh gee.
TG: Wow, I kind of feel like a god now!
MC: Well gee, how am I supposed to know about a captchadeck and strifebus?
TG: Ok, so I checked the guide a bit, and it appears I need to open my Phernalia Registry and put crap in it.
TG: It looks like it's free too.
TG: Uhm, I don't know... Try picking something up or whatever?
MC: You mean like.
TG: Ok Richard, brace yourself, some heavy duty modding coming.
MC: All the stuff you scattered around in your fit of vandalism? :T
MC: D:
TG: For example.
MC: What kind of modding?
TG: And hey! I was just getting to know the controls.
TG: Well if I can't find room, I'll probably throw useless **** away.
MC: Well, I hope you know them by now.
TG: Or maybe make a room larger.
MC: Ok, what was that?
TG: You tell me :33
MC: I think you know what I mean.
MC: I hope for your own good it didn't wake my mother up.
TG: Well I needed room... So...
MC: So?
TG: I did the cheapest thing and removed your toilet, bath and sink.
MC: You...
TG: You might hear some more noise.
MC: I also hope for you that this is indeed some augmented reality stuff...
MC: And I guess that was...?
TG: It has to be right? It's all crazy virtual reality mumbo jumbo.
TG: That would be the 'cruxtruder' dropping in your bathroom.
MC: What's a cruxtruder anyway?
TG: Have I mentioned how large your bathroom is. It really is.
TG: I have no idea. But it's free so it has to be important and hey, it's free!
MC: Do I really want to check it out? :|
TG: You should go check it out.
TG: Check out the cruxtruder Richard.
MC: Well then...
MC: brb

-- marineCopilot [MC] ceased pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 03:34 --

Your reign of terror apparently didn't go over well. He should stop being such a crybaby anyway, it's just a game, no need to panic or anything. While your friend goes check out the cruxtruder and the totem lathe in his bathroom, you decide to expand the dimensions of his room to add the alchemizer and the pre-punched card. You sure as hell don't know what to do, but he's a smart guy, he'll figure it out. Hopefully. Seems like you're all out of grist though.

You go downstairs again to check out the bathroom. Due to the shakings a vase fell from its table and shattered. You pick up the shards which are immediately stored in your unsorted binary tree sylladex. Each shard you pick up immediately is placed as a leaf of another shard in your sylladex based on the alphabet. Since all shards are named the same, they're all placed in row.

You come to the living room, but you don't see your mother anywhere. You figure that this is another evidence that this game is indeed augmented reality as it would be too hard to simulate humans.

You come across a water pistol that has falled from the top of a locker in the corridor. You pick it up but instead of being stored in your sylladex, instead it is moved to your strife specibus as PISTOLKIND.

You decide not to give it too much thought. Maybe Alicia knows about these things.

As you walk into the bathroom you notice it's a lot bigger while also rather empty. Almost all of the sanitary equipment was removed and instead there now are two big devices whose functions escape you.

You walk back to the computer to ask Alicia about those.

-- marineCopilot [MC] began pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 04:32 --

MC: So uh...
MC: What's this stuff in here.
TG: I added crap. I'll explain later.
MC: And what's the other thing in the bathroom, assuming one of them is the cruxtruder.
TG: Apparently, there's a timer.
TG: Yes. The cruxtruder. See, we need to open that bitch up.
MC: A timer counting towards what?
TG: I have no idea, but timers are never good.
MC: Open?
MC: You mean, with the wheel there?
TG: It just says it's mission critical to open the cruxtruder.
TG: I guess, it doesn't say how to open it...
MC: Is it counting down or up?
TG: Go try it out.
MC: Oh gee.
MC: Alright.
MC: brb
TG: I don't know man, just do it.
MC: So... it seems to be jammed or something.
MC: Can't open it.
TG: Hm... How about bruteforcing it?
MC: I have no crowbar with me if that's what you mean.
TG: And with that, I mean dropping **** on it until it opens.
MC: Has that plan ever worked? :I
MC: Well, I guess we have no real alternatives anyway.
TG: Exactly.
TG: Say
MC: Well gee.
TG: Does your mother have any particular attachment to your car?
MC: :|
TG: Or your bathroom for that matter.
MC: Well, considering she's not inside this game anyway I would say, go ahead?
MC: I mean, it can hardly go worse than this.
TG: Alright.
MC: I'll go down and spectate from there.
MC: Should be a blast...
MC: brb
TG: Car crashing in about a minute.

-- marineCopilot [MC] ceased pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 04:37 --

Your friend is no doubt panicking about his mom's car, but it was a clever ruse. The walk-through you're reading states that dropping a heavy basket on it suffices. But you just love watching his scared, little face. As you look around the house, you see nothing that will do however. A decision is quickly made. The car must be dropped. You'll try doing it somewhat gently though. You pick up his mother's car and ram it through the wall. The collision wrecked the car mostly and caused a crapload of bricks to shoot away at high velocity. Luckily, Richard was unharmed considering he jumped behind the door like a worried, little weasel. One of the bricks hit the cap on the cruxtruder, making it fly off, releasing some sort of glowing orb and activating a timer on it. It says 6:13 at first and it appears to be ticking down. You'll have to be quick to get the game objective done in 6 minutes and 10, 9, 8, 7 seconds. You see Richard hurry back up, no doubt screaming for instructions. You are ready for him.


MC: What the hell?!
MC: I thought you'd drop the car, not demolish my house.
TG: Hey man, do you see a place where a car can fit through?
MC: >_>
TG: Besides, it worked, the cap is off.
MC: But...
MC: Oh well.
TG: Ok this is what I need you to do.
TG: Take the card I put in your additional spacing.
TG: Also, you really need a portable computer or something.
MC: I guess.
TG: Ok, now, I need you to go to the cruxtruder and turn the wheel. I'll be waiting.
MC: Okay, got the card.
MC: Now to the cruxtruder.
MC: brb
MC: Back...
MC: So I've got this...
MC: Blue thing.
TG: Ok, do you have the cruxite dowel?
TG: That's a yes.
MC: Yeah, if you call it that. >_>
TG: Go to the totem lathe that I put in your bathroom, and enter the card in the slot.
MC: You mean, the other device?
TG: Then proceed to put the dowel on that thingymabob.
TG: Yes.
MC: Alright.
MC: brb... again
MC: So uh.
MC: It carved the dowel into...
MC: A carved dowel.
TG: A totem.
MC: Yay.
MC: Okay.
MC: Whatever.
TG: Try picking up on the vocabulary.
MC: >_>
TG: Alright, go to the alchimeter and put the totem on it.
MC: It's not my fault all the names are so weird and silly.
TG: I think that should activate something.
TG: Somehow.
MC: What's the alchimeter again?
TG: Please hurry you have 2 minutes left!!!
TG: The big platform thing.
TG: In your room.
TG: I'll go prototype your sprite with whatever you have here.
TG: This plane model will do.

This game is really intense.

As your friend is busy playing around with the blinking sprite thing, you take the totem and place it on the alchemiter. Suddenly, a blue terminal appears on top of the platform. It consists of a screen with a keyboard. The word enter is written above the screen.

Just as you want to step up to inspect it more closely an earthquake puts you off balance, sending you to the ground. As you get up you see red light coming through your window. You quickly run there and see several comets entering the atmosphere and hitting the earth on several locations around your house. You panic and hear a weird noise. As if a vase shattered on the floor, but not quite. You turn around just in time to see the fish bowl with your pet koi in it fall to the ground. The bowl shatters, leaving the fish on the ground flopping helplessly around.

You run over to your pet but there seems to be nothing you can do for him. The sprite, now having a plane model hovering inside its circle comes closer, but you don't give it a thought, but then the fish slips through your hands and right into the sprite. A bright flash of light temporarily blinds you, but when you open your eyes again, you see your koi inside the sprite, with a body of the model plane.



You are shaken awake as another earthquake catches your attention. You want to run to the computer to ask Alicia how many minutes are left, but the sprite blinks faster than usual and seems to point at the terminal. You run over there and see the same timer on the screen as well. 13 seconds. You don't know what happens when the timer runs out, but you can feel how the air is getting hotter due to the comets hitting the ground. From the corner of your eyes you can see a very large one heading right towards your house, but you concentrate on the terminal. It must be the solution. Everything points towards the terminal. Why would you even alchemize it if it didn't have any significance.

You look at the word again. "Enter"
But enter what?

9 seconds.

You enter your name. Nothing.

You enter your last name. Also nothing.

You enter all sorts of combinations of your name, your hometown, the game.

4 seconds.

You start to think.

2 seconds.

You enter enter.

1 second.

You press enter...

... and enter.

[Flisch]

Considering Richard seemed to be pretty safe, you assume you can go pester your other friends now to get their asses in this game too. It's. SO. INTENSE. You decide to get your bestest friend ever, Donna, in the game first
-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] began pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 08:24 --

TG: Sis.
TG: Sis? You there?
TG: Curses, apparently not...

Your name is Donna Juan. As your older brother is currently out doing whatever OLDER BROTHER SCIENTIST EXPLORER EXTRAORDINARES do, you are for the moment confined inside of your white, oddly futuristic DOMICILE, forbidden to journey outside into the Amazonian Rainforest, due to the dangers of the forest and your tendency to tamper with the fierce archeological work being done by your brother on the remnants of what appear to be an ancient FERTILITY CULT based around a pantheon of amphibious gods.

You are completely fine with this, of course. All the best members of the forest are concentrated in your luxurious greenhouse directly adjacent to your RESPITE BLOCK. The idea that a greenhouse is not needed in an area without winter is SIMPLY RIDICULOUS in your opinion. Especially because your sweet, caring CARNIVOROUS SWEETIES love the heat and moisture. Having just finished feeding your favorite five-foot tall pitcher plant his daily ration of ASSORTED MEAT PRODUCTS, you proceed to your laptop, lovingly sculpted into the shape of Denise Crosby. Denise Crosby is something of a role model to you, for reasons that will never be discussed ever. Looks like one of your many CLOSE CORRESPONDENTS is online.

-- voraciousFoliage [VF] began pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 03:15 --

VF: Hei!
VF: Hov's it going?
MC: Installing this game Alicia talked me into :P
VF: Vhat game?
MC: Uh.
MC: Sburb was the name.
VF: Sbvrb?
VF: So iov, lice, have it?
VF: On iovr desc?
MC: Um, yeah
VF: That's veird
VF: Vait a second
MC: :|

-- voraciousFoliage [VF] ceased pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 03:17--

You vaguely remember seeing some of your brother's discs laying around with "Sburb" Alpha written on them in black sharpie. You assumed that it was one of your brother's silly codenames he gives to his pet projects, but you guess he must have downloaded some early version of the game your friends are installing. Whatever it is, it's definitely worth checking out. Not like you've got anything else to do.

You proceed down the many flights of steps leading from your room at the highest point of the building to your brother's workspace near the bottom. It sure would be convenient if there were some sort of teleportation device which would allow you to get there faster! It's a shame that the very idea of a teleporation device is ridiculous. An elevator sure would be nice, though.

You are suddenly contacted by your totally awesome theoretical sibling in words only. You wish she had contacted you earlier though.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] ceased pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 03:36 --

VF: Hey!
VF: Sorry I missed yov
TG: It's nothing sis, we're cool :DD
VF: I vas jvst grabbing the discs for this Sbvrb game yov gvys are playing
TG: Ohh, who told you about it?
VF: Riccy did
VF: So, hov does this thing vorc?
TG: That silly goose!
TG: Well, for starters you enter the disc of course :DD
VF: Ocay, I fovnd tvo discs
VF: One labeled "server", and one "client"
TG: Well... Nobody else is online...
TG: I am already Richy's server...
VF: I'm assvming they're tvo different programs
VF: So yov, lice, manage his game?
TG: Yeah, they are.
TG: Sort of.
TG: So I'm guessing, I install the client and you install the server.
TG: And I hook up to you.
VF: Oh, ocay
VF: Let me slide it in...
TG: It's that way that it worked for us anyway.
VF: Yeah, it says it's loading
TG: Ooh, right, I should probably install it too.
VF: Hah, I lice the loading screen :D
VF: Mesmerizing :3
TG: Yeah, I like the music too.
VF: It says it's connecting
VF: Do I need to give yov my IP?
TG: We didn't really need one last time. I guess it sort of autoconnects.
TG: This is really high-tech shenanigans.
VF: Hvh
VF: Oh hey, someone's room is on the screen
VF: Is that...
TG: I have noticed it's best not to wonder about stuff and just roll with it.
VF: Is that yov? D:
VF: Hah, that's avesome
TG: That would be me normally.
TG: Yes, it is pretty goddamn awesome.
VF: So
VF: I gvess I place these machines
VF: Right?
TG: Nah.
TG: I'd get in touch with the controls first before you slip and crush me with a 5 ton object.
VF: :D
VF: Let's see
TG: Nobody likes getting crushed by a 5 ton object.
VF: So, I can jvst clicc on stvff and move them?
VF: Oh ****
VF: Shiiiitttt
VF: Sorry abovt the vall D:
TG: There's like an arrow or something.
TG: It's alright. I did worse stuff to Richard.
TG: Just, try not breaking too much.
VF: Right
VF: Smaller objects for nov >.>
TG: Nor spending too much grist. I almost spend all of Richy's grist.
VF: Grist?
TG: I had 35 grist, I assume you should have the same amount more or less
VF: This diamond stvff?
VF: I have more, for some reason
TG: It's somewhere on screen
TG: How much more?
VF: Vmm
VF: 350 D:
VF: I gvess it mvst increase vith each person
VF: Right
TG: That's...
TG: So...
TG: Unfair DD:
VF: :]
VF: Vell, as the covch is gone
TG: Well, fix my wall then. You can spare it.
TG: What couch?
VF: I'll pvt this "crvxtrvder" vhere it vas
VF: Vmm
TG: Please don't tell me the one in the living room.
VF: Vell
VF: It's not in yovr living room anymore :D
VF: There
VF: Nov the other tvo?
TG: Sonuva, what did you do to it? It was one made out of real leather my dad's going to be so so angry.
VF: I'll pvt it bacc later
TG: You better ;DD
VF: After ve've finished vp the game :D
VF: Let me deploy the other tvo...
TG: Well, it seems you need to put the cruxtruder, alchemiter and totem lathe.
VF: Yeah
VF: I'll pvt them all in the living room
TG: There's also a free pre punched card.
VF: There's plenty of space
VF: Oh, yeah
TG: How did you put everything in my living room?
VF: Shovld I jvst drop it anyvhere?
TG: Oh man you removed the statue didn't you.
VF: Yeah
VF: It's made of rocc D:
VF: It didn't breac
VF: Nov yov'
TG: Thank god this is game.
TG: Anyway, put the card near me.
TG: I'll pick it up.
VF: There
VF: Get it?
TG: I'll be going afk afterwards.
TG: Running around the house and checking the wreckage mostly.
TG: I'll be back in a jiffy.
VF: Right
VF: Seeya then

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] ceased pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 03:51 --

You slowly creep downstairs, nearly forgetting to pick up the pre-punched card. Your scurry back to your room and pick it up, making your sylladex activate itself. It turns into GRAMMAR MODUS. You have to transmute your object in a noun, adjective and a verb to be able to use it. This is going to be so much FUN to use. You try it out.

"Pre-punched card, card-like, to play cards."

Your sylladex struggles, but eventually gives in and hands you the pre-punched card.

Sweet. You try picking up some more random crap. After some collecting, you managed to fill up 5 out of 6 captcha cards. A flower pot, a pair of shoes, some cologne, this silly superhero statuette and a piece of paper. Wanting to make a mini-diary of some sort, you decide to pick up the four-colour pen that is located in your dad's desk. However, you seemed to have done something wrong, because it put your pen in a penkind slot in your strife specibus. This upsets you a bit. How the hell are you supposed to strife with a pen.


You guess you'll have to figure something out.


After doing your shenanigans, you descend even further to the living room and see a collection of futuristic looking machinery.


 

You are RON COOPER. You have spent the whole day inside your APARTMENT, playing various VIDEO GAMES and watching TELEVISION even though you are not very fond of watching TELEVISION.
You have been channel surfing aimlessly, hoping to catch a show pertaining to your interests, specifically TERRIFYING DEMONIC HELLBEASTS and SIGNS OF AN IMPENDING FIERY APOCALYPSE. Just before all hope was lost you stumble upon an emergency news cast regarding an "Astronomical Catastrophe", the news exclaims that a shower of meteors has all but completely destroyed Iceland. You pause for a moment at the sound of that. You're not sure but you think you remember one of your INTERNET CHUMS mentioning he is from Iceland, you rush to the computer to check up on him.

-- purgatorialMuffin [PM] began pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 10:31 --

PM: wow
PM: ****
PM: bro
MC: Hey.
PM: Don't you live in iceland?
MC: What?
MC: Yeah.
MC: So? :|
PM: Well are you on holiday or something?
MC: Nope.
MC: I'm at home right now.
MC: Playing this stupid game.
PM: game?
MC: Yeah.
MC: Sburb.
MC: Weren't you going to get it too?
PM: I signed up after Alicia bugged me for weeks, anyways thats not the point man
PM: I just watched the news
MC: Uh huh.
MC: Well, I haven't. >_>
PM: There's this big ****ing meteor shower going on, they said iceland was completely blasted to hell
MC: Wait.
MC: Meteors?
MC: o_o
PM: Yeah man like big flaming rocks from space
PM: meteors
MC: But...
PM: look outside the window
MC: What...
PM: do you see any meteors?
MC: I
MC: did see meteors
MC: But now they're gone.
MC: After I...
PM: What
MC: Entered...
MC: Oh god.
MC: What the
PM: entered what?
MC: Dunno.There was this weird computer and
MC: I had to enter a word
MC: And then the meteors were gone
MC: Now...there's just...
MC: Some thick fog outside.
MC: I can't even see what's outside, but the meteors are gone.
PM: this better not be one of your messed up jokes man. Imagining you sitting in the only house left in iceland pulling stupid pranks on me is just too much to imagine
MC: Where the hell am I?
MC: No man.
MC: I was playing Sburb with Alicia.
MC: And oh god.
MC: She could see me.
MC: And...
MC: Do stuff with my house.
MC: I thought it was just some
MC: What
PM: ?
MC: Well.
MC: There was this device and
MC: When we opened it
MC: a countdown appeared
MC: And...
MC: Right before it went to 0 I saw a large meteor heading towards my house.
PM: That's so ****ed up man. This is so very messed up. I better ask Alicia where the hell did she find this game
MC: This doesn't make the least bit sense.
MC: Now where am I, if Iceland is gone?
MC: Clearly this is not iceland.
PM: Did you try leaving your house?
MC: It's too warm and humid.
MC: Naw.
MC: The fog is sort of unsettling.
MC: It reminds me of the mist.
PM: Do you have something like, portable, with pesterchum on it?
MC: I think I have a laptop somewhere.
MC: I'd have to find it first though.
MC: It's sort of old, but I think Pesterchum is still on it.
PM: Well I suggest you go look for that. I'm gonna go ask Alicia what the hell is going on.
MC: Sure thing.
MC: Catch ya later.
PM: Later.
-- purgatorialMuffin [PM] began pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 10:41 --

You see the cruxtruder and you fruitlessly try to get the cap off. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to budge at all and you feel obligated to ask Donna for help.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] began pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 04:35 --
TG: Hey.
TG: So, uhm...
TG: I tried opening the cruxtruder by myself, but I'm not strong enough.
VF: Open it?
VF: So tace the cap off?
TG: Yeah, that's what Richy had to do anyway.
TG: I don't see why it would be different for me.
VF: There
VF: Vhat's the red thing
TG: Wait, you just took the cap off?
TG: You can do that?
TG: Man, I feel bad about smashing Richard's wall now.
VF: :D
TG: Ok, so hold on I'm going to head down.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] ceased pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 04:38 --


You head back down to your living room and take a cruxite dowel. You feel the need to talk to your friend, but first you desperately need a method of mobile communication.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] began pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 04:38 --

TG: Ok, this is getting annoying, running back and forth. I'm going to steal my dad's iPhone.
VF: Cool
TG: Hold on, going to switch.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] ceased pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 04:39 --


You hurry to your Dad's room and softly open the door. It doesn't seem like he's around though. You quickly snatch the iPhone and start downloading the pesterchum app. After several minutes it's fully downloaded and installed and you start your on the go shenanigans.


-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] began pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 04:58 --

TG: Ok.
TG: Got the iPhone.
VF: Cool
VF: So
VF: Vhat do ve do nov?
TG: Well.
TG: I think.
TG: I'm supposed to go take the cruxite.
TG: Hold on let me walk back there.
VF: Vmm
VF: Remember the red thing?
TG: Hey, what did the timer say?
VF: 01:01:30
TG: Alright, so with the shenanigans so far we lost, what, 15 minutes?
TG: I got plenty of time.
VF: So
TG: I'll just get the red thing.
TG: It's called cruxite by the way.
VF: It's cind of bvzzing arovnd
VF: No, the energy ball thing
TG: OH ****.
TG: THAT
TG: SCARED ME
TG: Where the **** did that come from.
TG: So.
TG: This little ball of light just jumped me.
TG: I am guessing I got to prototype it.
VF: Prototype it?
TG: Can you look around my house for possible objects?
TG: You basically throw crap in and it changes.
VF: :D
VF: I can do that
TG: Just look around.
TG: I'll decide myself.

You stroll back downstairs and enter the pre-punched card into the totem lathe. You watch intensely as the totem lathe carves the dowel into a totem. Then you mimic what Richard did and put the totem on the platform thing. You watch how a crimson red paper appears on the bigger platform.


You are quite flabbergasted.

You find the discs right where you remembered them being, resting on top of a stack of your brother's files. You captchalogue the disc with your handy DICHOTOMOUS MODUS, which allows you to access your items via dichotomous key. Proceeding back upstairs, you discover that your other friend Alicia has been pestering you. Alicia's the one who's playing with Richard, right? You pester her, having the conversations we've seen previously. Looks like she's back.

-- voraciousFoliage [VF] began pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 06:10 --

VF: Hey
TG: Hey.
VF: So
VF: There's a doll here
VF: The svperheroe statve
VF: The covch :D
VF: Some leftovers on the covnter
TG: I like the superhero.
TG: Anything else?
TG: Sorry for being kind of away, I got to write this 300 word diary on our adventure so far on a little piece of paper.
VF: :D
VF: Vmm
TG: Couch seems dumb, and I already got a dude in there.
VF: Holy ****
VF: Vhat the hell
VF: Is that....
VF: Is that a stvffed racoon?
VF: D:
TG: Oh.
TG: You saw that right.
TG: Hey, actually, chuck that baby in the ball.
TG: Throw in the raccoon and the superhero :DD
VF: Vmm
VF: Vhy...
VF: Nevermind
TG: I'll brb, gotta finish this damn thing.
VF: I'm not going to asc
VF: I'll pvt the racoon in first
VF: Dammit
VF: The ball's avoiding it..
VF: There ve go
TG: Alright. Hang on, I'm almost ready.

While you wait for your friend to finish, you notice something out of the corner of your eye. You move out to your window and gaze out at the lush green forest.

The heat of the perpetual summer is even more overwhelming than usual. You suspect this has something to do with the forest fire encroaching on your home from all directions.

[Flisch]

As your companion continues prototyping your kernelthingymabob, you continue writing your essay as concentrated as you can, with flawless grammar of course. You get kind of nervous as you see a faint red glow outside your window, a glow that appears to be getting stronger. The sprite makes an unexpected sound, proof of the first prototyping. You quickly make haste and write the last words. The emanating glow coming from the windows is obviously getting brighter and brighter, until you can pretty much feel the heat of the meteor. You are panicking and in a state of pure terror as you put the last dots on your masterwork. You take the pen off the piece of paper and read your finishing statement.

"And so it all has come to this..."


The piece of paper suddenly vanishes in a bright light, blinding you and not allowing you to see what happens. You painfully shut your eyes and feel your house trembling. Did the meteor hit? What the hell is happening. You should've payed more attention to what Richard was doing, now that you think about it. The light subsides and you see that you are still alive and well. You also see the superhero statuette being thrown at the flying disembodied raccoon head. It turns into a badass, furry superhero thing.


You decide to contact your partner in crime.

VF: :D
TG: So.
TG: I think I teleported somewhere.
TG: Can't see **** outside though.
VF: Hmm
VF: I can still see yov
TG: Can you see outside?
VF: Yeah
TG: And?
VF: Yov're on a peninsvla
VF: Can't see mvch fvrther
TG: Like, an island, more or less?
VF: It's really darc D:
VF: Yeah, pretty mvch
TG: Alright, I'm going to check this **** out.

You proceed to check **** out.

-- marineCopilot [MC] began pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 10:47 --

MC: Hey
MC: Hey I need to talk to you!
VF: Vhat's vp?
MC: Have you seen the news lately?
VF: I got alicia into the "medivm"
VF: No, vhy?
MC: Yeah, about that.
MC: Do you have a TV somewhere?
MC: Ron told me comets destroyed iceland. D:
MC: But that can't be because I am in iceland, but
MC: in this game there were comets too...
MC: Oh god its so confusing.
VF: Comets?
MC: Yeah like.
VF: Vell
MC: Big fiery rocks that come from space.
VF: I vanted to talc to Alicia
VF: I cinda assvmed it vas part of the game....
VF: Bvt there'
VF: *Bvt the forest ovtside my hovse is on fire
VF: There's some meteors as vell
MC: Oh man...
MC: So this is real.
MC: D:
VF: Vhat?
VF: I thovght..
MC: This everything.
VF: I thovght it vas jvst part of the game
MC: I don't think so.
MC: Ron wasn't in the game yet.
MC: Actually...
MC: As stupid as it sounds.
MC: It looks like these comets are related to this game.
MC: But they're also real.
MC: So...
MC: ._.
MC: What did Alicia get us into this time!
VF: D:
VF: Man
VF: This is bad
MC: Wait a second.
VF: I need someone to be my server
MC: Yeah.
VF: Is mvffin still on?
MC: Apparently this game exists to escape the comets?
VF: Maybe
VF: Here, let me pester him
MC: Sure.
MC: Try to get into the game as soon as possible.
VF: Yeah
MC: Oh, one last thing.
MC: Can you please not tell this to Ron?
MC: I don't want him to think I don't believe him.
MC: I just needed to be sure.
VF: Svre
MC: Thanks.
MC: And.
MC: Good luck, I guess.

-- marineCopilot [MC] ceased pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 10:53 --

You glance outside the window again. The fire isn't just a faint glow on the horizon anymore, but it's still pretty far away. Meteors are really starting to fall, though, and as you cease pestering Ricky the ground shakes. It's a good thing Ron's online.

-- voraciousFoliage [VF] began pestering purgatorialMuffin [PM] --

VF: Hey!
VF: Yov've got to help me ovt
PM: What's up?
VF: So
VF: Don't cnov if yov cnov or not
VF: Bvt apparently this game seems to be a vay
VF: To get ovt of the meteor shover
VF: That seems nov to be escalating to apocalyptic scales
VF: The jvngle arovnd my hovse is on fire
PM: D:
VF: I need someone to be my server and get me into the medivm
PM: What's the medium
VF: Vell
VF: That's vhat Alicia's been calling it
PM: Oh excuse me "medivm". I'd expect you to drop your bizzare typing habits when things are this serious
VF: Shvt vp :D
VF: Anyvay
VF: I gvess
VF: The game teleports yovr hovse into a different place
PM: Is it like a...meteor shelter?
VF: I don't cnov
VF: Bvt
VF: It's not threatining to cill yov
VF: At least not immediately
PM: Oh gee what a relief
VF: :D
VF: Bvt seriovsly
VF: Do yov have the discs?
VF: I'm the server for Alicia
VF: I'm installing the client as ve speac
PM: They should probably still be in the mail
PM: I should probably go fetch them before you get roasted alive
PM: How did you even get this game
PM: while living in the middle of a jungle
VF: My brother mvst have dovnloaded an early version
VF: I fovnd some discs labeled "Sbvrb Alpha" on his desc
VF: Ocay, I'll seeya in a sec
PM: I hope it won't glitch and only teleport half of you or whatever
PM: that would be pretty brutal
PM: gonna go check the mail, be back soon

-- purgatorialMuffin [PM] ceased pestering voraciousFoliage [VF]  --

The ground shakes again, but this time with more force. You hope he comes back soon.

-- marineCopilot [MC] began pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 10:55 --

MC: Hey Alicia!
MC: Are you alright?
TG: Kind of.
MC: ?
TG: I can't see outside of my house.
TG: I am afraid to go outside.
MC: Ah.
TG: I can't find my Dad anywhere.
MC: So have you entered the game yet?
TG: I just feel so frustrated.
TG: I think I'm about to cry.
TG: Yes...
MC: Well...
MC: I talked to Ron.
MC: Did you know this "game" was real?
MC: Like.
MC: The comets and stuff?
TG: I think.
TG: I had this suspicion.
MC: Mmh...
TG: I don't know why, but something deep inside of me just...
TG: Oh well.
MC: Anyway, so I found this laptop.
TG: Alright.
MC: So I can talk wherever I am.
TG: Yeah, a mobile communication thingy will be handy.
TG: I'm currently locked up in my bathroom.
TG: Sobbing.
MC: I might...
MC: Hey...
TG: With this iPhone in my hand.
MC: Can you still see my room?
TG: My Dad will be so pissed.
TG: I'll need to go in my room for that.
MC: Oh man.
MC: Because.
MC: I can't find my mom anywhere.
TG: I'm unsure if I'm ready to go back. I've heard noises.
TG: Noises, Richard.
MC: Noises?
TG: I don't know.
TG: Like...
TG: People stumbling about...
MC: Maybe I should turn off the music.
TG: It can't be my Dad, it sounds like there were multiple people.
MC: I put on my headphones, because I was too nervous.
TG: But... I guess I can go check it out.
TG: There's no more scratching.
MC: Stop scaring me.
MC: I'm already scared as it is. D:
MC: The mist outside reminds me of The Mist. >_>
MC: I don't want to imagine that there might be little things flying around in there.
TG: It's complete black outside.
MC: Now I do... Damn.
TG: I can see like, three inches outside.
TG: Ok.
TG: I am going to my room.
MC: Thanks.
MC: Wait a second.
TG: I'll keep my iPhone on me with the firmest of grasps.
TG: What?
MC: Back.
TG: Ok.
MC: The entrance door was opened. :|
TG: I'm in my room.
MC: I closed it.
TG: Haven't seen anything
MC: I could see plants outside on the ground.
MC: Some meters away from the door.
TG: Like outside your house, or outside your room.
MC: Outside my house.
MC: Oh god... Do you think mom could have gone outside?
TG: You said she wasn't home when you entered right?
TG: Hey.
TG: Uhm.
MC: I don't know.
TG: I think I discovered our next objective.
MC: She just wasn't on the couch anymore.
MC: Oh?
MC: What is it?
TG: Do you have a way of getting on your roof?
MC: Uh...
MC: Yeah.
TG: Like, on your roof outside?
MC: Ah.
MC: You mean.
MC: ON the roof?
TG: Not the attic, like actually on the roof.
TG: Yes, exactly.
MC: I don't think so, but I could go to the-
MC: I see.
MC: Oh.
MC: No, why?
TG: Hold on.
MC: What the hell was that?
TG: You can now get on your roof.
TG: Also.
TG: I think I've discovered the source of the noises.
MC: And...
TG: Hold that thought while I barricade my door.
MC: o_o
MC: Should I be concerned?
TG: Alright.
TG: Not concerned, they don't seem harmful.
MC: Wait what?
MC: "They"???
TG: Just don't want them to try anything while I help you out.
MC: You mean.
MC: There are, like, people?
TG: There's these humanoid blob thingies, can't really explain it.
MC: ._.
TG: I could call them what they are.
TG: You have some Moss Imps.
MC: Moss Imps?
TG: That's the name displayed here.
MC: You can see them?
TG: There's one on your roof.
MC: Ok, now way I am getting up there now.
TG: I'll quickly scan your house.
TG: If you're afraid of them.
MC: And, couldn't you like have made a door in the roof or something?
TG: That would be silly and too costly. We're almost out of grist.
MC: Oh, great.
TG: I think... I think you have to fight these imps.
TG: Do you have a weapon?
MC: Yeah.
MC: A water pistol. :|
TG: What is it?
TG: Oh.
MC: That doesn't seem useful against moss.
TG: That is.
TG: Unfortunate.
TG: Ok, do you have a lighter and some gasoline lying around the house?
MC: Uh... no, why?
TG: Like, for your planes or something.
TG: Hold on then. I'll see what I can do about that imp on the roof.
MC: Okay.
TG: I think you can go on the roof now.
MC: I hope you got the imp with that.
TG: He bursted.
MC: Kay, give me a second.
TG: There's green stuff lying around.
MC: Oh...diamonds.
MC: Okay...
MC: What just happened?
MC: The diamonds disappeared?
TG: You leveled up too.
MC: Hah.
MC: I didn't even do anything.
TG: You are now an 'Avian Chickadoodle"
MC: That's...
TG: And your Fridge is now a "Monolithic Thumper"
MC: Cool?
TG: I have no idea what it does.
MC: Anyway.
TG: You got some boondollars or some **** though.
MC: All that...from killing just one imp?
TG: Alright, now that we have some more grist.
TG: I think it's like pokemon.
MC: Oh you mean that was grist?
TG: A level one pokemon levels a lot.
TG: Yes, that's how grist looks like.
MC: Alright.
MC: So you can make doors now? :D
TG: Hey, I can now buy a punch designix or something.
TG: Where do you want it?
MC: Dunno.
TG: Well.
TG: I think it's used to punch cards.
TG: So, considering you used that pre-punched card with your totem lathe...
MC: ...?
TG: I'm popping it in your bathroom.
MC: Okay.
TG: Hm.
TG: Hold on, your bathroom is too small.
TG: What do I do.
MC: Dunno, put it somewhere else?
TG: Pop it in your bedroom or spend the grist on the expansion?
MC: I think there's still some space in the living room.
TG: You could also just man up and go fight an imp.
MC: You'd just have to remove the couch.
TG: Fine.
MC: :|
TG: There we go.
MC: With my hands or what?
TG: I'd go to your living room.
MC: No way am I going to touch those slimey things.
TG: I accidentally killed stuff.
MC: There were imps in the living room?
TG: Two of them.
MC: I thought I closed all the windows. D:
TG: I think they are not bothered with smashing in windows.
MC: Damn!
TG: So, mess around with your ****.
TG: Try figuring out what it does.
TG: I'm going to stab some imps with my pen or something.
TG: I have no idea.
MC: Alright.
MC: Good luck.
TG: Good luck to you too.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] ceased pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 11:27 --

After an enticing chat with your fellow player, you decide to leave your room and show the imps your stabs. You carefully pull away the chair holding your door shut, wield your menacing pen and open the door fiercely. You run through the door screaming and pointing your pen straight forward. However, you don't see imps anywhere. You carefully creep down to the living room where you see something really weird. A fashionably dressed raccoonman in tights finishing off one of your imps. You couldn't see much detail except that it was grayish. He turns around and sees you, you simultaneously paralyze in fear. He seems to be friendly however and starts talking.


Herosprite: Ahh, the Dame of Time!
Herosprite: It's an honour!
Alicia: I guess it's an honour too, floating raccoon superhero?
Alicia: What are you doing in my humble abode?
Herosprite: As you can see, fighting evil!
Herosprite: Do you want to join me in my quest to punish the vile?!
Alicia: I would like that, but I think I'm not strong enough...
Alicia: What it this Dame of Time thing you're talking about?
Herosprite: You have to believe in yourself!
Herosprite: I know you can do it!
Herosprite: And you are the Dame of Time!
Herosprite: It's your role!
Alicia: Role? What... This is all so confusing!
Alicia: Does this have anything to do with finishing the game?
Herosprite> I would think so!
Herosprite: But you don't have to!
Herosprite: It's your decision if you want to be the Dame of Time!
Alicia: So... I could just... Stop playing?
Herosprite: Mmmh, that's certainly a possiblity, although it won't get you closer to your goal!
Alicia: But what is my goal?
Alicia: What am I supposed to do?
Alicia: I mean, I sometimes get these weird vibes and all, telling me what to do...
Alicia: But I just don't know!
Herosprite: Mmh, I do know what your goal is!
Herosprite: But I can't tell you for some reason!
Herosprite: Even though I want to!
Herosprite: Argh, it's so frustrating!
Alicia: I can live with that... So tell me, what exactly is your job here?
Alicia: What are you supposed to do?
Herosprite: I think I mainly exist to guide you through the game!
Herosprite: Like a mentor!
Alicia: Ohh, kind of like Batman and Robin?
Herosprite: Yes, exactly like that!
Herosprite: I see you're getting the hang of this!
Alicia: I see...
Alicia: If I choose to become the Dame of Time.
Alicia: What does that entail?
Alicia: How do I become the Dame?
Herosprite: You do not choose to become the Dame!
Herosprite: But you can choose wether or not you want to fully exploit your potential!
Alicia: Alright, but how do I fully exploit this potential?
Alicia: Is there like a certain path to take?
Herosprite: You will understand eventually!
Herosprite: Oh, what's this?!
Herosprite: *sniff sniff*
Herosprite: Intruders!
Herosprite: Excuse me, but I have to do my duty as a superhero!
Herosprite: PCHOOOOOO!
Alicia: What a strange superhero.

You definitely feel safer knowing that guy is helping you out. After slight pondering, you pick up all the grist laying around, although you have the feeling you got enough grist. You stare at your pen for a while.

[Flisch]

After your conversation with Alicia you decide to go to your bathroom to check out the Punch Designix. You see the console and a slit of the same size as a captchalogue card. You notice how there are exactly eight slots on the console, precisely the same amount as characters on the back of each captchalogue card.

You pull out the card in which you stored a vase shard and type the code into the console. At first nothing happens, but when you slide an empty card into the slot, the device punches a number of holes into the card. The card now resembles the one you used to alchemize your entry item with. You extract a cruxite dowel from the Cruxtruder and put the dowel into the Totem Lathe with your punched card. You take the carved totem and put it on the appropriate slot on the Alchemiter. Quickly it alchemizes an object: A shard. Upon closer inspection it looks exactly like the shard you stored in the captchalogue card.

Just as you found out the function of the Punch Designix, your friend Alicia starts pestering you.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] began pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 11:41 --

TG: So.
MC: Hey.
TG: That was interesting to say the least.
MC: I found out what this punchix thing does.
MC: Oh?
TG: So I met my guardian or something.
MC: Your guardian?
TG: Well, he called himself my mentor, but he killed tons of imps for me.
TG: So let's call him my sensei.
MC: Huh.
MC: Where did he come from?
TG: I think he came from the kernelsprite.
MC: You mean that orb?
TG: Well, calling him a sprite would make more sense then, wouldn't it?
TG: Yes.
MC: Now that I think of it.
MC: I haven't seen my sprite after I entered the medium.
MC: I thought it was gone.
TG: He also looked a lot like the things I prototyped with.
TG: A raccoon and a superhero.
MC: Oh.
TG: I'll call him Herosprite.
MC: Huh.
TG: Well, I thought mine was gone too.
MC: A raccooon?
TG: Maybe yours is doing whatever it felt compelled to do.
TG: Mine likes punching **** to death.
MC: Oh. >_>
MC: Well.
TG: What would yours like doing?
MC: Dunno.
MC: Flying around?
TG: Hey, did you get on your roof already?
MC: Yeah.
TG: Right, the imp and all.
MC: Yeah.
TG: Did you look above you?
MC: Uh, no.
MC: Wait let me get up again.
TG: Then I'd recommend getting up again, indeed.
MC: Okay...
MC: I see a faint glow.
MC: is it a sun?
MC: It's blue.
TG: I think it's important.
TG: You should try reaching it.
MC: I'm not tall enough. :P
MC: Do we have enough grist for stairs?
TG: I think I could get you like...
TG: Halfway or something.
TG: Although...
TG: No, I think we need a lot more grist.
MC: Huh.
TG: Richy, you need to defeat some imps.
TG: Oh!
TG: You said you discovered what the punch designix does?
MC: Yeah.
TG: Explain.
MC: Well... You can basically imprint captchalogue cards with a certain item.
MC: So when you put that card into the totem lathe
MC: It will carve a totem out of a dowel.
MC: Which you can use on the alchemiter to produce the desired item.
TG: Oh, sort of like the pre-punched card.
MC: It's pretty nifty.
TG: Sweet.
TG: Although I don't really see how that could be useful.
TG: Duplicating items, yay?
MC: Probably.
TG: Oh.
TG: Hey.
TG: Actually.
TG: I got an idea.
TG: It's so crazy, it just might work.
MC: What is it?
TG: Have you tried...
TG: Doublepunching?
TG: And covering up holes?
MC: You mean...
TG: Technically, it should allow you to make other stuff right?
MC: Punching two codes into one card?
MC: Huh.
TG: Exactly.
MC: Might be worth a try.
TG: Tell me what you got.
MC: Okay, brb.
MC: Okay.
MC: This is awesome.
TG: Did you alchemize?
MC: I just combined the codes of the vase shards with the water pistol. :D
MC: Now I got a pistol that shoots vase shards!
TG: How did you combine?
MC: I doublepunched one card.
TG: This is important to figure out the logistics of the punching.
TG: Try coverpunching?
MC: huh okay, let me try that too.
MC: brb
MC: Okay, this was stupid.
MC: I got a gun with sharp edges.
MC: That shoots water...
TG: That can't be useless.
MC: ...
TG: Throw it at imps.
MC: Wow, great.
TG: Anyway.
TG: So now you got a weapon.
MC: Everything can be dangerous if you throw it at things.
MC: Yeah.
MC: I added my shard pistol to my strife specibus.
TG: Nothing too strong, but it should work.
MC: I think it works fine against moss imps.
TG: Alright. Go kill imps.
TG: I'll try getting Donna to give me my own punch designix.
MC: Okay, sure.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] ceased pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 11:57 --

Equipped with your newly alchemized Shard Pistol in your strife specibus and your absolutely worthless Pistol Shard in your sylladex, you go outside to hunt down some imps.

Just after a few steps however, you notice a weirdly glowing blue thing flying above your head. It doesn't look like one of those mossy imps at all, so you decide to call it down.

Richard: Hey!

The flying thing turns out to be your sprite which immediately flies down to your height after hearing your voice.

Flishsprite: hey richy!!
Flishsprite: glub
Richard: Umm... so you are... my sprite?
Flishsprite: it looks like i am! :D
Richard: Cool, so you're like a flying fish... so... a flish! Hah.
Flishsprite: yes and i like being freeee glub glub glub!! :D
Richard: Hey, yeah, I can imagine.
Richard: So...
Richard: Can you tell me what I am supposed to do here?
Flishsprite: i don't think so!
Flishsprite: i think i'm supposed to just guide you a bit!
Flishsprite: glub
Flishsprite: i know that you have a great task waiting for you!
Richard: A great task?
Richard: Can you... elaborate?
Flishsprite: richy, glub, id really like to!
Flishsprite: but something in me is preventing me to glub it all directly!
Flishsprite: what i can tell you is that you will have to fight many meanies!
Flishsprite: and that if you want to continue in your journey
Flishsprite: glub
Flishsprite: you will have to reach the portals!
Flishsprite: i think thats all i can really explicitly tell you about your quest!
Richard: Which portals are you talking about?
Flishsprite: look at the sky richie!
Flishsprite: the beautiful sky
Richard: You mean the misty sky, right?
Richard: I can't see anything...
Richard: Besides that glow over my house...
Richard: Wait, is that a portal?
Flishsprite: the sky is so wet and freeeee
Flishsprite: and yes!
Flishsprite: you're understanding :D
Flishsprite: that is the portal glub glub!
Flishsprite: it will take you to where you have to be!
Richard: Oh, okay...
Richard: Is there anything else you can tell me?
Flishsprite: only that you must have hope richy!!!!
Flishsprite: that is probably necessary!
Richard: I must have hope?
Richard: Hope for what?
Flishsprite: glub
Flishsprite: hope!!
Flishsprite: for everything!!
Flishsprite: and if hope comes short for you
Flishsprite: glub glub
Flishsprite: i am sure you can borrow some!!
Richard: Okay, what exactly does that even mean?
Flishsprite: you are the thief of hope richy!! :D
Flishsprite: that is what skaia has got in store for you!
Richard: Okay, what is Skaia?
Flishsprite: you'll see ;)

Your sprite takes off into the air again and continues flying around aimlessly.

Richard: Huh...

-- purgatorialMuffin [PM] began pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 01:28 --

PM: Okay
PM: I hope you aren't a charred corpse yet
VF: Not *qvite* yet
PM: Well let's turn that into a "never" shall we
PM: Gonna install this thing here
PM: Looks like it's automatically installing, no interface or anything, neat
PM: Okay it's done
VF: Cool
VF: Can yov see me on yovr screen?
PM: Wait
PM: That's you?
VF: Yeah
VF: I don't cnov
VF: It jvst cind of vorcs
PM: Who the hell made this game
VF: I don't cnov
PM: Man
VF: Don't qvestion it
VF: Jvst get me in
VF: There shovld be a diamond-lice symbol
VF: That's "grist"
VF: Yov can vse it to bvild stvff
VF: Or bvy stvff, I gvess
VF: There's a bvnch of fvtvristic-loocing machines
PM: Ah ****
VF: Fvvvvv
VF: D:
VF: Don't vorry, yov can rebvild later
PM: These controls are so sensitive
VF: Jvst vatch my bed next time
VF: Yeah
VF: Vse the room to place some of those machines
PM: ok im gonna drop this weird thingy here
VF: The "crvxtrvder"
VF: Drop that vastebascet on it
PM: Yeah okay you're the experienced one here
PM: Okay what the heck was that just now
VF: :D
VF: That's the cernelsprite
PM: And what's that...thing
VF: Oh man
PM: cernelsprite?
VF: Loocs lice yov prototypted it
VF: Vith some dead plant clippings in the vastebascet
PM: Did you like read the manual 40 times. I'm so lost here
VF: So
VF: It's jvst a thing
VF: That comes ovt of that machine
VF: And vhatever it tovches
PM: Why would there just be a weird green energy thing
VF: "Prototypes" it
VF: As in
VF: Maces it similar in form to vhatever vas dropped in
VF: I don't cnov
VF: Maybe it comes into play later?
VF: So
PM: hey there's a timer counting down on this cruxything
VF: That's hov mvch time I have to get into the "medivm"
VF: Before the meteors destroy me
VF: So
VF: There shovld be another thing in the menv?
VF: A card-type deal?
PM: I have like
PM: 3 card type deals
PM: One with a cube next to it
PM: One with a cube in it
PM: and One with like black bars
VF: The one vith the cvbe next to it
VF: I get a green cylinder from the crvxtrvder
VF: Then I pvt it in the other machine, pvt the card in
VF: And it carves the cylinder
VF: Yov pvt the cylinder on the third machine
VF: And it creates an object
VF: The object maces yov do something
VF: To get into the medivm
PM: Hold on, trying something
PM: This game is just a brutal violation of the law of consevation of mass. Physics aside, I think your room should be big enough for all this preposterous machinery
PM: now that ive gone and "revised" it
PM: Why does everything in this game have to be so sneaky, why can't things be labled properly
PM: like
PM: "Machine the spews magic balls and cylilnders"
VF: :P
VF: Fine, be bacc in a second
VF: Or rather
VF: A fev minvtes
VF: Vish me lvcc


You take the totem to the lathe and slide in the card, briefly taking time to look out the window. The fire has reached the base of your house, and meteors rain down in a steady stream. A variety of AFOREMENTIONED actions are taken, and out of the alchemeter a neon green JIGSAW PUZZLE is produced. As the clock runs down, you hastily open the box and begin rearranging the pieces. Luckily for you your strife spectribus has always been PAPERPRODUCTS KIND, helpful when rummaging through your Brother's files. Someone without the spectribus would have fumbled with capchalouging the individual pieces for hours. That would have been annoying!

The last piece falls into place, revealing a completed sburb logo, the same design featured in the installation screen. Suddenly, the shape vibrates and changes shape. As the clock reaches zero, the meteor hits. More devastating than either beforehand, the crater would create a sea in the middle of South America, vaporizing everything within a hundred mile radius.

The house, however, has gone. The scenery of the window shifts from an apocalyptic nightmare to a new vista, a new world.

You get pestered before you can even ask Donna about the Punch Designix.


-- voraciousFoliage [VF] began pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 12:11 --

VF: Hey
TG: Hey.
VF: I got into the medivm
TG: You did?
TG: And?
TG: Is your place a ****hole too?
VF: Yes :I
VF: I escape fire
VF: And come bacc into a fire vorld
VF: Vhat's yovrs lice?
TG: I have no idea.
TG: I can't see outside for more than three feet.
VF: D:
TG: So I'm guessing all sources of light is blocked in my land.
TG: Can't see how it would get so dark otherwise.
TG: Anyway.
TG: Richy found out that we can do really cool stuff with the alchemiter.
VF: Lice vhat?
TG: Well, he had like a water pistol...
TG: And this vase shard...
TG: And he did something with the punch designix, making a gun that shoots sharp shards.
VF: Avesome
VF: So yov can jvst mix and combine objects?
VF: :D
TG: Apparently you can!
TG: You need the punch designix though!
VF: If ve're going to be fighting ****
VF: That's a good thing
VF: Becavse my strife spectibvs is paperprodvcts cind :3
VF: Yeah, svre
TG: It wasn't too expensive, so you should be able to just put one down.
VF: This machine to the right?
VF: There
TG: Especially with all the grist my herosprite got me.
TG: Thanks, sis!


YOU GUESS IT'S TIME TO CREATE RADICAL STUFF.

[Flisch]

You return with your grist cache full of slain imp loot. It seems like you collected enough to do some SERIOUS alchemization.

You play around with the Punch Designix a bit and create a bunch of relatively useless items until you get a stroke of genius and think about combining your laptop with your aviator goggles. This creates a little computer that has the size of your goggles. This way you can play Sburb or pester chums without a keyboard, freeing your arms to do more alchemization.



You quickly pester Donna to tell her of your new invention.

-- marineCopilot [MC] began pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 12:40 --

MC: Hey Donna!
VF: Hey
MC: Man, this is awesome. :D
VF: D:
VF: I gvess
MC: I can now pester people without using a keyboard. :D
VF: Never really affiliated apocalypse vith avesome
VF: Hov?
MC: No, no.
MC: I mean.
MC: I just alchemized this awesome...
MC: Gadget.
MC: Do you have a Punch Designix?
VF: No
MC: Oh boy.
VF: I jvst deployed one for Alicia, thovgh
MC: Who's your server player?
VF: Ron
VF: Let me contact him....
MC: But you know how it works, right? :D
VF: Not yet
MC: Well, you can combine stuff.
VF: D:
MC: And I just combined my laptop with my aviator goggles. And bam.
VF: That's....
VF: tha'ts RADICAL :D
MC: Now I have some superfancy computer goggles or something.
MC: And now I basically just run around and alchemize more stuff. :D
MC: Without having to stop with my laptop.
VF: That's avesome
MC: Oh man, I totally forgot to ask.
MC: Did you enter the medium yet?
VF: Yeah, I jvst got in!
MC: Oh cool.
MC: What's your land like?
VF: There's fire everyvhere :I
MC: :o
VF: Vhich svccs ass
VF: Becavse I jvst got ovt of a fire
MC: Mmmh.
MC: Well, at least I guess you're in safety now.
MC: More or less.
MC: Watch out for imps. >_>
VF: I svppose
VF: .....
VF: Imps?
MC: But they shouldn't be too much of a problem I think.
MC: Yeah.
MC: Little...
MC: Things.
MC: They like to break stuff
MC: And get into your house.
VF: Dammit
MC: They look like gremlins sort of.
MC: Do you have a weapon?
VF: I'm on the top floor, so I'm safe for nov I gvess
VF: They're probably macing a mess of dovnstairs
VF: No D:
MC: Oh man.
VF: My strife spectibvs has alvays been papercind
VF: >.>
MC: What's your allocated specibus?
MC: Oh.
MC: Mmmh.
VF: I gvess
VF: I'll have to get creative
MC: Umm.
VF: Vith this "alchemy"
MC: Yeah. As soon as Ron gets you a Designix, make some paper sword or I don't know. >_>
VF: Hah
VF: Paper shvricens ;.;
MC: Hey.
MC: Guess what I just made. :D
VF: Vhat?
MC: A Captchapistol.
MC: It's a pistol that shoots captcha cards.
MC: Now I can captchalogue stuff by shooting it. :D
VF: Hah
MC: Mmmh, damn.
MC: Now I made a mess by shooting the table instead of the potted plant on top. >_>
MC: Whatever.
MC: Bah, looks like more imps are coming.
MC: But I am prepared. :D
VF: Try captchlovging one
VF: D:
MC: Mmh.
MC: I wonder if I can combine imps with other items. :|
VF: Try it!
VF: Bvt vith that
VF: I've got to go for a bit
VF: Ron's going to get me a designex
MC: Catch ya later.
VF: Vish me lvcc!
VF: Seeya
MC: Good luck!

-- voraciousFoliage [VF] ceased pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 12:50 --

Sometime later you decide to pester Donna again. Maybe she got the Punch Designix by now.

-- marineCopilot [MC] began pestering voraciousFoliage [VF] at 1:15 --

MC: Hey Donna. :D
MC: Did you get your punch designix yet?
VF: Not yet!
MC: D:
VF: I need to contact my server abovt it
MC: Who's your server again?
MC: Ron, right?
VF: Yeah
MC: Mmmh.
MC: Maybe he's busy getting into the medium.
VF: Has anyone gotten him in yet?
VF: Probably D:
MC: Mmh.
VF: I hope he's fine
MC: Hopefully it will all work out.
VF: Yeah
MC: So what the hell have you guys prottyped your sprites with?
MC: I just saw an imp with a large gaping hole on the top of his head. :|
VF: One of my dead pitcher plants fell into the sprite
VF: Imp?
MC: Oh...
MC: That explains it.
VF: They're affected by prototyping?
MC: Yes... Imps.
VF: D:
VF: That's.....
MC: Haven't you encountered them yet?
VF: Cind of creepy
VF: No!
MC: Yeah.
VF: I'm at the top of a tover
MC: They look weird.
VF: They're probably creating havoc dovnstairs
MC: Some have wings and fins from my prottypings.
MC: Or a cape.
VF: Hah
VF: That vovld be from Alicia's, I gvess
MC: Yeah.
MC: But yeah, watch out.
MC: These imps are sort of...
MC: Troublesome.
VF: I'll try to
MC: Messing around with your stuff.
VF: I hope Rob comes bacc on soon
MC: They broke the windows of my house :(
MC: But they're weak though.
VF: I need to "alchemize" a veapon of some sort
MC: Do you have a weapon yet?
MC: Oh.
VF: My strife spectibvs
VF: Is paper cind >.>
MC: >.>
MC: That's...
MC: Unfortunate.
VF: Yeah! :D
VF: I'll jvst have to get creative, I gvess
MC: Maybe you can drop large piles of paper on them. >_>
VF: :P
VF: Paper shvricen lavncher? :D
MC: Hehe.
MC: Wait a second.
MC: I just heard something.
VF: D:
MC: OH WHAT THE, I'll be back later!

-- voraciousFoliage [VF] ceased pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 1:25 --

You suddenly hear a lot of noise. Chittering mostly, which indubitably comes from the imps, but the sheer amount of it unsettles you. Just as you want to get inside you hear a loud thumping noise. You have just enough time to tell your chum that you have to quit before a large monster appears in front of you in the mist.

It looks similar to an imp, just a lot bigger and a lot more sturdy. You quickly run inside and try to seal the door, but you know the door won't fend off that monster.

There is only one option left...

-- marineCopilot [MC] began pestering tranquilGrammarian [TG] at 1:25 --

MC: Alicia!
MC: Are you there?!
TG: I am here.
MC: Thank god.
MC: Imps are invading my house.
TG: Was about to mess around with the alchemiter.
TG: That sounds annoying.
TG: Shoot them.
MC: No, they're getting larger! There's like a giant brute.. thing out there!
MC: And they're too many, I doubt I can shoot them all!
MC: Oh man, they're knocking at the door.
TG: Brute...
TG: Thing?
MC: Do you have enough grist to make a staircase to the gate?
TG: Sounds serious, hold on while I holler to my computer.
MC: Yeah, I saw it outside, huge tusks and ****.
MC: Hurry. D:
TG: This one dude looks pretty cool though.
TG: Can't argue with that.
TG: Alright but yeah, I'll see how high I can get you.
MC: I want to hear you saying that when you're facing such a monster.
MC: Okay, I'm on my way.
TG: Richy, I can get you close.
MC: Oh god, the uge thing is too big to be captchalogued with my captchapistol D:
TG: But I am afraid you're going to have to slaughter at least one of the big dudes for like, the last quarter.
TG: Fight him with your shard pistol.
MC: Oh well.
TG: Or alchemise something stronger.
MC: I'm gonna snipe the **** out of that thing, I guess.
TG: I don't know...
TG: Don't think your shard thingy will work.
TG: You can try I guess.
MC: Is that enough?!
MC: Also more large things are coming!
TG: Depends, can you jump those last few meters?
TG: If not, I'll need grist from like several more imps.
TG: Because you've been *****ing out and captchaing imps, instead of killing them.

You take a quick glance at your captchapistol and get an idea. You don't really have the time to get down there again and collect more grist, especially with more of those huge brutes coming.

You take out the captcha card with the imp in it and release the imp. It seems to be disoriented about the sudden change of location but you use that moment of confusion and jump on the head of the green thing. With another jump you just barely make it into the portal, leaving the poor imp and your house behind.

You arrive in some sort of village built in the canopy of very large trees that extend over the fog clouds that seem to concentrate just above the ground. However, the village is not populated with humans or imps. Rather, they seem to resemble...

Chameleons.

[Eagle]

You are quite distressed that your friend seems to have disappeared after jumping through that strange flowerhoopthing. He is still online so that should mean he did not get vaporized.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] began pestering marineCopilot [MC]at 22:33 --


TG: Excuse me, where the **** did you go?
MC: I am... not sure.
MC: I'm safe, I guess.
MC: These guys don't seem dangerous.
MC: Actually, they look kind of goofy, don't they?
TG: I don't know, instinct tells me to beware of everything for now.
MC: Well, at least they're not prototyped with anything, so they can't be imps or anything similar.
TG: I guess... You could talk to them?
MC: Uh, you think they can talk.
MC: Alright lemme see.

[Flisch]

You walk towards the chameleon that seems to be a leader or priest. He or she is wrapped in a large sheet that covers its entire body safe for the mouth, eyes and the tip of its tail. With one eye it fixates you as you slowly approach it while the other seems to gaze somewhere off into the distance.

You nervously greet it, not sure if you're actually making a fool out of yourself by talking to an animal. However, it doesn't reply and after waiting a few seconds, you turn around and start mumbling to yourself. "And here I was hoping for some helpful NPCs..."

Suddenly the leader or priest started speaking. "Hope?!" it's tongue whipped through the air as if it caught a flying insect. "What do you know about hope, mmh? Hope can only be regained by stealing it from her who took it from us. One day a hero will descend from the sky and fight her to give us back our hope. You haven't seen him on your way here, mmh?"

You freeze upon hearing the chameleon priest continue rambling over a so-called denizen, who seemed to sleep. It also talked about a supposed hero who would free the chameleon folk from the monster's tyranny. The denizen seemed to resemble a snake and constricts the whole planet in her sleep, slowly suffocating it with its grasp. You're sure that you hear the name "Jormungand" between all the rambling, which, more or less coincidentally is also your browser's name. After a while though the priest seems to repeat itself and you have to kindly end the conversation to contact Alicia again.

MC: Hey, have you heard everything?
TG: No, how could I. I can't see you any more.
MC: Oh, you can't? D:
TG: Nope, ever since you jumped through that portal, you vanished.
MC: Oh... I see.
MC: Well.
MC: That one guy talked about a new quest I think.
MC: There's a giant monster sleeping on the planet.
MC: And I guess I need to slay it.
TG: That one guy, way to be descriptive ;))
MC: Sounds pretty straight forward.
MC: It was a chameleon wrapped in a sheet.
MC: Oh... did I mention they're all chameleons?
TG: I think our sprites are supposed to know more about this.
TG: You did not.
MC: In fact, I'm in a tree top village, filled with chameleon people.
MC: I dunno.
MC: I asked him and.
MC: Then he blabbered about a hero and the monster.
TG: What hero?
MC: It is pretty clear that the player is the hero.
MC: But I didn't tell him that, it was awkward enough.
MC: He didn't specify.
MC: Just a hero restoring hope and all that.
TG: I think you should ask your sprite if you see him flying around.
MC: Yeah... mmh... I don't know how far away I am from the house.
MC: And the last time he was there, but now I am somewhere else.
TG: Are you still on your planet? Or did the scenery change?
MC: Nah, it's definately the same planet.
MC: However, there's no mist up here.
MC: It seems to concentrate on the bottom.
TG: So the portals teleport us to different places...
TG: That's really interesting :DD
MC: Apparently.

-- tranquilGrammarian [TG] ceased pestering marineCopilot [MC] at 23:12 --

The abrupt end of the conversation bewilders you, but you hope nothing happened to Alicia.