Got something that makes you angry for no good reason whatsoever? Post it here. Remember, irrational means that you can't think of why this annoys you or makes you angry, but it still does.

Let me see...

Gnats
Dried ketchup crust
Plastic flamingos
Air compressors
Guineas (The birds, not the islands)
Spelling magic as "magick"
People who can speak English, but point at you and speak (insert language you do not know) then laugh
Dirty pennies
Running over a snake on a dirt road, then looking back to see that he's still alive
Signs that say "Slow Children at Play". If these children are so slow, why let them play outside?
Envelopes
Tinted windows
Stuff that glows in the dark
Greenland
Iceland
Furry caterpillars
Really big rats
Flying encyclopedias
Squeaky shopping carts

Anyone else got a few?

Does anything else really need to be said? I love this movie, despite the fact that it hasn't come out yet. After all, with a title like that, what could possible go wrong?!

Today I was reading the first Foundation novel by Isaac Asimov for my English class, when I stumbled across something that I found interesting. <SPOILER ALERT> In the book, Hardin saves Terminus from Ancreonian invasion by reminding the other kingdoms of the power of nuclear technology and the inevitable destruction of their nations by the conceptual nuclear-powered Ancreonian Navy. <END SPOILER ALERT>

Well, this got me thinking about all sorts of things. First of all, I thought of how complex yet subtle that strategy was. Then I thought of how to apply this to games. The most obvious genre, of course, is RTS games. I have yet to see such a skillfully-orchestrated diplomatic strategy implemented in a game. Sure, I've seen all manner of military tactics that are pure genius when done by a good player, but it surely would take some kind of thinking to come up with a plot like that. Even if one could think of it, there has yet to be a game that I have played that would have, in theory, the tools to let you do this.

Civilization is the first game I'd think of. Sure, the game is largely a race for technologies as much as it is a race for resources or troops. In fact, Civilization is the only game I have ever played in which I won without a single shot being fired. Through giving out lesser technologies and allowing trade routes and missionaries into my territory, I was able to focus purely on teching up and building a culture unmatched by any of my opponents. However, Civilization still comes up a bit short in the scenario I'm thinking of. Though, if your enemy did try to use military power to get the Fission tech from you, you could inform your neighbors of his intent and have them fight him for you, sure. That sounds about right, but it's still missing the invasion aspect. For example, if you're defeated in Civilization, as far as I know, the enemy doesn't have the ability to absorb your technologies into their own nation.

In Rise of Nations, the broad, sweeping technology tree and use of subtler diplomacy is unusual in a fast-paced RTS game, but it worked so well here. Now, I remember spies being able to inflitrate enemy installations and give you line-of-sight, but stealing technologies wasn't among their powers, if I remember correctly.

Empire Earth 2 had a nice little diplomacy system, allowing people to barter all sorts of stuff, including troops, to get what they wanted. It featured the chat system and the ability to plan strategies on the battle map. All of that was cool and all, but it still lacks the tech-stealing feature that intrigues me.

The game I'm thinking of, to do this right, would be turn-based RTS, but it could be applied to RTS if you wanted a faster-paced game. Now, we take the excellent technology systems from Civilization and RoN and combine them. First, we have the broad categories of techs, each level of which must be unlocked RoN-style. After that, individual techs must be researched by themselves. However, along the way, a bit of subtlety will help a crafty player. Let's say that one of the other players posesses nuclear technology. You have unlocked the atomics section of the tech tree, but have yet to invest in nuclear missiles. The number of turns and resources consumed seem unusually high to you. So, you build a spy unit and send him into enemy territory, where he can take up residence in the nearest research station or nuclear silo. There, you can activate his power to smuggle documents about the selected technology, in this case nuclear missiles, to you. So, with this new information, the number of turns and cost to produce the nuclear weapons tech are dramatically reduced. Or, if you're really in need of the nukes, you can have the spy attempt to smuggle a working model across the border to you, thus giving you one free nuke to either use or dissect for its secrets.

In another scenario, let's say you have just conquered an enemy that possesses the secret to nuclear power and weaponry. Now, being a smart opponent, you destroy his armies and capitols, but you leave his infrastructure intact, as it will soon belong to you. In most games, I see a disturbing trend of massacring every building. Buildings that, in a realistic setting, are now yours to keep and yours to plunder. While farms and barracks won't get you much, an intact research station is valuable indeed. Looking through it, you can send in your own researchers to unlock the secrets of your former enemy's technology. Having saved these technologies, you are now in possesion of valuable secrets that will put you far ahead of any remaining opponents.

Now, in the same scenario, let's say you are the one with the nukes. However, having neglected your ground troops, you find yourself under attack. Pulling a Hardin, you warn your neighbors of what will happen if your warmonger enemy gets control over your nuclear secrets. Then, in a temporary union, your enemies ward off the attack of your neighbor to save you and themselves. However, now they'll want something in return, something tangible. Passing off some other technologies might save you, but if they demand your nuclear secrets, you might just have to give them up...

See, what I am talking about is a game that really opens up all sorts of paths to take to victory. Sure, you have good old war, but now you can add in diplomacy on a very real scale, perhaps even surpassing that of Civ. Also, there should be a purely economical way to gain victory. Like how Terminus becomes a nexus of technology, repairing old ships and providing services to other worlds. Now, imagine that, but in a game. The ability to become a sort of "neutral ground" nation where others can come to utilize your services and buy technologies and units from you. If we throw in the massive EE2 barter system, you can produce entire armies for your opponents, sell them to them, and gain a profit. Or, you could be an area where battle is prohibited, and enemies can send their diplomats to discuss peace treaties and other political manuvers.

On another tangent, a cultural victory, much like in Civ should be available. Through both superior culture and an influential religion, you could gain victory just by being more intelligent that the barbarians around you. If they attempt to cross your border, their army could be rendered paralyzed by the beauty of your cities or the magnificence of your buildings. This would buy you valuable time to find an alternative solution, or deploy your own troops. Or, like Terminus, you could be the center of a religion accepted by your enemy's troops and people. Any city owned by you could not be attacked unless your enemy renounced their faith and threw their economy into anarchy. In battle, their troops would suffer a demoralization penalty against your holy warriors. Of course, you would suffer no such effects, as you could simply brand your enemies heretics and attack regardless. Though, if your attack failed, you would be at the mercy of a nation that no longer follows your faith and will not suffer any penalties.

Also, it would be interesting to have control over the technologies you give away. For example, lets say your temporary allies from above force you into giving up the secret to nuclear weapons. While you are merely using the atomics section to generate easy power for your economy, your opponents intend to wage nuclear war. Like in RoN, there should be a limit to the number of nukes that can be thrown around before the world ends. Seeing the end of the world as bad for business, you decide to use a secret power of your own. Having given them the technology, you can now directly influence how it is used. For example, you could assume that your researchers gave them incomplete data and force them to take a few turns working out the kinks and making a few connections that were left out. Or, you could keep the missiles from launching by utilizing a special device installed on them by unknowing techies, giving you a few turns to work out a treaty or mobilize your forces. Finally, by paying quite a bit of resources, you could "retard" their knowledge of nuclear weaponry. This indicates that you gave them faulty information or left out some key bit, like how to process uranium-245. This causes the tech to slowly fade from their list unless they pay a hefty bit to get it back or barter with you to stop the retarding process.

Alright, my fingers hurt. I'll post more later, but let me have your thoughts on this.

Well, today I checked out a book by Richard Ellis, called Aqua Genesis: The Origin and Evolution of Life in the Sea. Besides being incredibly interesting, the book contained an excerpt from The Tempest, by Erasmus Darwin in the preface. Now, normally, poetry doesn't interest me. This, however, was too amazing to pass up. It seems to me that this outlines the early phases of the evolutionary cycle as seen both in real life and in Spore. Also, this is very well written and enthralling to read, encompassing vast scopes of time and development.

Hence without parents, by spontaneous birth
Rise the first specks of animated earth...
Organic life beneath the shoreless waves
Was born and nurs'd in ocean's pearly caves;
First forms minute, unseen by spheric glass,
Move on mud, or pierce the watery mass;
These, as successive generations bloom,
New powers acquire and larger limbs assume;
Whence countless groups of vegetation spring;
And breathing realms of fins and feet and wing.

I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did.

Well, it seems that Romero has done it again! Land of the Dead came out today, and let me tell you, it was a glorious hour and a half. Land follows perfectly in the tradition of Night, Dawn, and Day. It plays on the fears and prejudices of our American society today. From the huge gap between social classes, the heightened security measures post 9/11, and fear of the "terrorists" the American government uses on us, Romero has perfectly used the undead to represent such things. Big Daddy, the spiritual descendant of Bub, is an instant classic zombie, and his cohorts, soccer player zombie and butcher zombie, are also memorable. If you watch the film, it is apparent that Romero is a liberal with balls, and in some cases outright defies the status quo of our society in the imagery of Land.

Just one thing. The humans no longer have our full sympathies. The zombies lead an idyllic existence all alone. But then, we come with noisy vehicles and blasting machine guns, ruining their almost-dead lives. As you watch the journey of Big Daddy towards Fiddler's Green, you can't help but root for the zombies as they continue on their grisly approach. Watch carefully, and you'll see Romero's social satire in these scenes. The horror here isn't in the zombies becoming more intelligent, nor is it in the dehumanization of the surviving people. It is in symbolism of these two power groups, and what they represent. A crusade for eternal peace on one side, and a city of vice and debauchery on the other.

The gore is great, and sometimes you can't help but wonder how in the hell they got away with some of the stuff they put in there. Though Tom Savini didn't do the effects, the new guys are pretty good at what they do. It helps that the man Savini himself trained them. Savini's cameo had me applauding, just for the nostalgia of Dawn. The action is a little bit too much for a Romero film, but I'm betting the producers had to force him to put it in. Let's face it, most moviegoers aren't going to notice the social commentary or the symbolism, what they will notice is the gunfights and the fact that lots of stuff blows up. Many were worried that the CGI would dominate the film, but it is really hardly noticeable. The only part that really stood out was the nearly-headless zombie attack scene.

This film ranks definently above Day, and is about as good as Night, but no zombie movie will ever top the sheer awesomeness of Dawn. Not the crap-fest that was Dawn '04, but the 1978 version. A true classic if there ever was one. My advice is to just go see the movie. You'll enjoy it no matter what. The real reason to go see it is to put money in George's pocket, and to prove to him that a new trilogy is a good idea. *Hint, hint*

I was poking around on Gamespot when I noticed the growing number of Lovecraft-inspired games. However, it seems that they are all confined to the FPS/Action/Adventure genres. Let's think outside the box here for a second. How about a CoC game, set not in the 30s or modern day, and not an FPS/Actio/Adventure title, but a *gasp* Real Time Strategy title set in the near future? Before you flame me or dismiss this topic, lemme have a moment or two of your time.

The End Times. Gives you chills, eh? How about setting the game during the end of the world, when the Old Ones have awakened and humanity is going to hell in a handbasket? This setting not only is the most unexplored, but it is also the one that offers the most fun and excitement.

Three different forces. Humans are a definite yes, since you basically can't have a game set on Earth without including something about us in there. The Mythos is set in stone, since it's always fun to play as the bad guys once in a while. Third, the Yithians. No, I'm not talking about the sissy cone-shaped bodies they inhabited in Precambrian Australia. I'm talking wayward minds that have come to Earth from the farthrest reaches of the universe inhabiting various bodies to capitalize on the End Times and uncover a way to rejoin their fellows in the beetle bodies of distant-future Earth.

Branching tech trees for each force that entwine. Humans can research the Human, Magic, and Machine Corps trees. The Mythos begins by building a temple to one of the Outer Gods, and follows along on their path of associated heroes, avatars, and units with Azathoth, Shub-Niggurath, and Yog Sothoth as the branches. The Yithians will follow along three disciplines of assualt from Land to Sea to Air, depending on your play style and the map environment.

How about having each force start off in a different situation? Being almost crushed and near defeat will put a damper on any civilizations day, so the humans both in the campaign and the multiplayer, will start off scattered across the map in small settlements. This takes away the advantages bestowed by thier superb defenses and forces the player to really get moving. The Mythos will usually start in a good defensive position with plenty of time to act. Given their slow nature, they'll need it. The Yithians will have no fixed bases, and can begin anywhere on the map. With no buildings, the Yithian hero units are used to call down dropships with reinforcements. This really emphasizes their assault-based mobile nature.

Resources will work differently for each race. Humans gain requisition (ala Warhammer 40k) by conquering new territories and building fortresses on them. Materiel is gained by building depots on top of supply dumps. Mana (For magic tech tree units and technologies) is automatically gained by conquering new territories that have ley line nexi on them. Build a research station to gain it faster, while an Sanctum Arkanus will generate it even faster. For non-magic using players, the mana can be converted into artifacts that, when dropped into a territory, will double the speed of requisition generation in that territory. The Mythos uses Horde resource, which is generated faster by having a bigger population. When a unit is killed, you gain a refund of Horde back to build others. Power is generated by corrupting ley line nexi and building an Eldritch Pillar over them. Power is used to summon avatars, heroes, and charge up Outer God manifestations. Yithians gain requisition by killing enemy units and controlling territories.

Whoo...I'd go on, but my fingers are tired. How about a little feedback? Good idea, bad idea? Come on, anything!