Author Topic: get these tiny bastards off my shed!  (Read 33721 times)

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Offline Brutus

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get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« on: October 04, 2007, 11:22:21 am »
i live in my very simple little house, its small but it's clean and nice and in my garden their is a small shed.

some useless neighborhood kids have decided it is fun to use my shed as a platform from which to jump across onto next doors shed. anyway, apparently the act of jumping from shed to shed and climbing fences is called something like "garden running," or something.

anyway, the first time it happened i calmly opened my door and yelled to them to go away and from a 6 year old i got the response "shut the **** up and get back in the house!" while this is a horrible thing i couldn't help but start laughing uncontrollably until my stomach hurt (much to the child's horror that his insults were taken so unseriously).

they keep doing it again and again to the point where they are damaging my shed and costing me money.

i thought about putting spikes or nails on the shed but then i realised i would certainly have an argument  with their parents if they hurt themselves on them and that's if i wasn't in trouble with the police because of this countries stupid laws. so i covered the roof in vandal grease and they don't care at all

i cought one and he explained to me how fun it is to garden hop so i responded by dragging him to his home and explaining to his parents what a little leisurly vandal their son was and the father replied by slapping his son and throwing him up the stairs and promising to call the others parents too.

satisfied i went home.

then the next day it happens again, they won't stop!!


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Offline Yannick

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2007, 11:29:52 am »
Decide to suddenly work on your roof, and accidentally have some nails hanging around. You know, like 10 inchers.


And it's actually called "Parkour" although the neighbourhood kids are doing a wussy version of it.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2007, 11:34:10 am by Yannick »

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Offline Brutus

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2007, 11:36:12 am »
no, its not free running or anything, its just them hopping over fences and stuff for fun, not sport.

they are costing me money as theyare slowly buckling the roof, personally i hope they fall through it and land on some sharp gardening equipment.
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Offline Yannick

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2007, 11:36:40 am »
Decide to suddenly work on your roof, and accidentally have some nails hanging around. You know, like 10 inchers.

Also say something like: Well, I left the nails there because I was going to continue fixing the damage your kids did, in your defence ;-)

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Offline Person21

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2007, 11:55:18 am »
Next time you see them, run out holding a shovel/rake/pickaxe.  ;)
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Offline Plank of Wood

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2007, 11:55:38 am »
Build a large fence.
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Offline 762

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2007, 11:56:35 am »
Decide to suddenly work on your roof, and accidentally have some nails hanging around. You know, like 10 inchers.

Also say something like: Well, I left the nails there because I was going to continue fixing the damage your kids did, in your defence ;-)

Ha, brilliant!

All I can think of setting up a motion-detector sprinkler with some kind of terrible-smelling substance on there. I saw this guy set up a normal sprinkler in much the same fashion to get birds to stop pooping in his pool. Do you normally catch them in the act? If so, you could put up a sign that says "private property" or something and then throw knives at them when they're on your property. I don't know about Great Britain, but in the US, if someone refuses to leave my property, I can shoot them.

If all else fails, put up the "private property" sign and a video camera on the roof. Record yourself telling them to stop, then record their repeat offences, then prosecute.

You also might want to discuss your possibilities with a cop or lawyer, since they would know more than you.

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Offline Brutus

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2007, 11:59:00 am »
" i left nails hammered upwards through my shead for safe keeping,"

i think it's a bit tranparent, but maybe their is a way round it.


if the kids hurt themselves i would seriously risk being sued which to be honest i am more worried about that their pathetic little lives as burdens on society.


i have video footage of them doing it and i regulaly catch them but they're vurtually untouchable from a legal standpoint


in britain if they hurt themselves breaking into my house they could sue me.

how ****ing retarded is that!
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Offline Mr. Consideration

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2007, 12:11:29 pm »
Shout at them, loudly and threateningly. Then tell thier parents. Then hit them. Then tell thier parents. Then hit them again.



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Offline Kaizer

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2007, 12:12:32 pm »
this is what you do

step 1: lay a burmese tiger trap near the shed

step 2: warn them you will make their life a living hell if they dont ****ing quit it

step 3: if they persist make them fall into the burmese tiger trap and claim they were on your private property even after you warned them not to and they fell into your squirrel trap pit

Offline FROMAN

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2007, 12:12:43 pm »
put this sign up

and i hotlinked it so you could get to the site that sells them

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2007, 12:14:41 pm »
Spread lots of oil and butter on your shed. ;D

Offline Brutus

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2007, 12:17:52 pm »
the laws on this subject are so damn stupid.

if was to hit one of those kids in anyway i would be convicted of assault.

sadly the sign would be a bluff :(
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Offline Cool AN

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #13 on: October 04, 2007, 12:18:02 pm »
Get a big dog, doesn't have to be mean just big, or hired a large brutish (the irony is not lost on me) man or boy to chase them around with a blunt object.

That or ask one of their parents if you can borrow one of their toys or whatever, and destroy it. Then when they do it, again take the thing out, call the boy whose thing it is, and then smash it proper and asks how it feels when some one destroys your stuff.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2007, 12:22:23 pm by Cool AN »

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gec05

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Re: get these tiny bastards off my shed!
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2007, 12:19:55 pm »
A large ugly fat man that stalks them when ever they get near your yard.