Author Topic: Gay faggotry and other gender issues  (Read 2145 times)

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Offline Great Distance

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Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« on: May 27, 2020, 10:53:48 am »
While Pat may have been purposefully inflammatory when he referred to us as faggots, he was right that there have been surprisingly many representatives of the LGBTQ community in our good old forum. And I think that's great!

I think internet forums tend to be a safe haven for people who may feel judged out in the real world. So in the end I guess it's not so surprising.

However I don't think we have ever had a topic for this issue! Correct me if I'm wrong.

Personally some people seem to think I'm a lesbian just because I have short hair. Or that I want to be a boy. And I think that's ****ed up. It's just hair! Anyone can have hair of any length for any reason. It's 2020, people!

So I dunno, here's a thread to discuss your experiences about gender and sexual identity.



Offline PatMan33

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2020, 12:38:16 pm »
Being out in public can be hard, so internet locales provide an excellent layer of cover for people that want to discuss and relate. I know several types of personalities that would call themselves LGBT and they each have wildly different approaches. Some of them I have to be very careful what I say around them and I do my best to be polite and accommodating without sacrificing my own beliefs and morals. Others that I know are (believe it or not) pretty much exactly like me in terms of my feelings on what can and can not be said.

In a weird way though, I feel like there would be less abuse in public. The abuse that would occur in public probably has a tendency to be harsher and more violent. Being online also exposes you to the trolls and ****posters that will come in and smash you, then vanish. That is a lot easier to do so the rates of incident are likely higher online. And that may also warp your worldview a bit... so, moderation I suppose? (moderation in the sense that you should live life in moderation, not moderation of speech or ideas - though both are likely apt to this discussion)

We were playing Mario Kart a couple years back and I had one of each type of the aforementioned LGBT people over. The "watch what you say" and the "say what you want" type. And the "say what you want" type, he and I go way back and we call each other foul things all the time. He cut a corner in a race and totally ****ed my **** up and I turned to him and instinctively went "You ****ing faggot." and the other person in the room looked like she was about to have a heart attack. Meanwhile he's laughing his ass off at me and telling me that I wouldn't know. I think his response calmed the other person down a bit because she evened out, but I made sure to say sorry for making her uncomfortable. Also he beat me in that race. Never forget.

You just have to be you and not go too far in any one direction for too long. But nobody is perfect. Sometimes people go too far; I sure do! But that's why I try my best to give people chances, especially with words and language. We live in a social media age and charged, hyperbolic language is just a fact of life. It probably always has been for as long as we've had a media. So we're talking centuries. I hear a lot of very terrible things casually thrown around on the left side of the spectrum and those things are often directed at me, people like me or people I know; and those things are generally said in anger or jest. And that's cool, you just give them some time and come back around and try again. Not everyone is that accommodating though.

Also Twitter has made all of these issues a billion times harder to talk about. Slacktivism took discourse and compromise out back and shot them in the head.

Offline Great Distance

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2020, 12:59:00 pm »
Well, being a non-native speaker, I guess I don't have such a strong reaction to most English words. Words, turds, hurts birds. Whatever. Doesn't mean much to me. There are probably even some words that I misunderstand completely.

So yeah I thought if I should name this thread "LBTGQ" or whatever but I thought that was pretty lame. I hope I do not offend anyone.

The disparity between English and my native language is pretty fun, though. I feel like you almost get a new personality when you switch languages. There are just some things that are common in English speech but are never said in Finnish. And vice versa. Even the type of things you talk about tend to be different. I think these two languages tend to have different kind of energies. And rules - about what is allowed or not.

So yeah words are definitely important. Language shapes the world. Can't deny that. But in the end it is up to the listener how they want to interpret things - and whether to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

Offline Brandonazz

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2020, 12:41:29 pm »
I'm like Pat's friend who isn't sensitive about this sort of thing. Friends call each other faggots and say fuck you, it's not offensive.

If someone called me a faggot in anger, I'd be about as mad as if anyone called me anything else in anger.

But growing up on the internet and being friends with others gamers and internet users in real life means that simple verbal trolling doesn't really phase me, only shitty actions.

I have a hard time empathizing with queer people who stickle about this.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2020, 12:44:15 pm by Brandonazz »

Offline Slinky

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2020, 01:07:28 pm »
Pat, I don't really get this belief system you have where people are categorized into either "cool guy thinks it's funny to say any **** you want, just like me!" or "pearl clutching SJW fascist censorship tone police". It's not a binary, I think the vast majority of decent people fall into the middle ground of just finding intentionally edgy or inflammatory behavior exhausting and annoying. I'm not going to get "triggered" if you call me a faggot while we play Mario Kart, and maybe I can even laugh at it in the moment 'cause of the shock value, but it certainly makes it less fun and worthwhile to be around you. It's akin to someone constantly oversharing about their bowel movements - you have a God-given right to say whatever you want but your peer group also has the right to tell you you're being a jackass.

Sup Pat. Hope you’re well too. Just try not to cut yourself on all that edge.
[snip]

THAT IS EXACTLY THE CORRECT RESPONSE! ****ING HELL HOW HARD WAS THAT, SGORE? bahahahahahahahhaha it's ****ing perfect!! Those were the droids I was looking for! This is why you're the best, Ink. If the words hurt you, go take a backflip off of the roof because life isn't your strong suit. Jesus ****ing Christ we learned this in first grade. I don't dislike you guys, I dislike your faggy bull**** tone policing. Half of you used to say this **** before someone browbeat the self-respect out of you. You don't have to say the things I say, but **** right off with that gay **** if you think you're going to tell me to stop.

It was that simple the whole time. You push me, I double down against your fake crap. Eat my *******. I love you.

Especially you and your gorgeous hair, Sgore.

Thank you to the very kind soul that kept me updated on this. You're wonderful. <3

You can't call a bunch of people oversensitive faggots and pull the "I can say what I want" card, then imply that those people are unreasonable for saying what they want to say, which is that you're being pointlessly, exhaustingly inflammatory. You're a fun guy, you've made me laugh a lot in the past and you're honestly a major influence on my sense of humor to this day. I wish you would get over this fascination you have with being edgy for fun because you turn away good people who are sensitive (often very rightfully so if they've been the target of bigotry), and for the rest of us who can stomach the **** you say, it just dilutes the quality of your company.

Anyway, sorry this wasn't super eloquent, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to get across and engage with what I'm saying instead of writing it off. If you wanna throw around slurs then I'm pretty sure we can all handle it like adults, but as someone who was in the past your friend or at least your acquaintance I'm asking you, person-to-person, to do some basic introspection. I can promise you none of this is coming from some fake, performative clout-chasing pedestal; if you don't believe that I have a legitimate reason to dislike your behavior then I can break out my admittedly extremely faggy dress collection. ;)

EDIT: Just realized this post isn't super relevant to this thread, got a little mixed up on where I was posting, so for the purposes of this thread count me in as another Gaming Steve user who ended up being very queer. What's the deal with this forum? Chemicals in the posts turning us all gay ??
« Last Edit: May 29, 2020, 01:11:12 pm by Slinky »

Offline Slinky

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2020, 02:27:07 pm »
Sorry to double post here but I had a few more thoughts. The thing that I'm really stuck on is that your "fun words are the best words" attitude is pretty much functionally identical to like, a 13 year old that just discovered swearing. Like, we all get that you think it's fun to get a rise out of people or you feel enlightened because you're saying things that "can't" be said, but to many of us your behavior is annoying and secondhand embarrassing at best, and genuinely, pointlessly hurtful to some of your queer and/or non-white friends on this forum at worst.

I don't know if you'll respond well to how I'm approaching this; I know you place a lot of importance on "banter" in this community. Would it connect with you more if I just told you to go kill yourself next time you're being an ******* for kicks? If so, please let me know. It would save me a lot of typing.

Offline sgore

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Re: LEMON GINSENG BERRY TRUFFLE QUESADILLA ICED AMARETTO +
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2020, 05:20:29 pm »
EDIT: Just realized this post isn't super relevant to this thread, got a little mixed up on where I was posting, so for the purposes of this thread count me in as another Gaming Steve user who ended up being very queer. What's the deal with this forum? Chemicals in the posts turning us all gay ??

I blame my avatar.
In a way, intentionally or not, we all risk becoming our avatars.

And mine is a random screenshot from an old Jeopardy computer game in the bisexual pride colors,
where only half the sign is lit up.

I should have known what I was signing on for when I grabbed it from Google Images in 2005.
 
What meme is relevant right now? Look, just imagine I'm riffing on that. Updating signatures is exhausting.

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Offline Slinky

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2020, 06:59:42 pm »
what is a lemon ginseng berry truffle quesadilla iced amaretto.... sounds extremely good

Offline sgore

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RE: LISA GRAMPA BARNEY TEXAN QUIMBY ITCHY ARTIEZIFF
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2020, 07:55:25 pm »
I have no idea.
I just wanted to do that thing people do where they come up with new acronyms for LGBTQIA.
What meme is relevant right now? Look, just imagine I'm riffing on that. Updating signatures is exhausting.

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Offline Slinky

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Re: LGBT stands for Let's Get This Bread
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2020, 08:06:53 pm »
i got a good one

Offline sgore

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Re: Lepton Gluon Boson Tau Quark
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2020, 08:15:42 pm »
Yeah, I gotta admit, that's pretty solid.
What meme is relevant right now? Look, just imagine I'm riffing on that. Updating signatures is exhausting.

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Offline PatMan33

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2020, 10:24:45 pm »
I don't know if you'll respond well to how I'm approaching this; I know you place a lot of importance on "banter" in this community. Would it connect with you more if I just told you to go kill yourself next time you're being an ******* for kicks? If so, please let me know. It would save me a lot of typing.
Absolutely yes, 100% every time. Make sure to tell me to do a back flip on the way down, too.

Or like, literally say "Pat, you're offending me please stop." I'm not unreasonable, sometimes I just get carried away.

But I also understand your point. I made a very large post in response to this. But I'll just send it to you in a PM. It isn't the sort of thing I want to post on a publicly accessible forum. :)

Offline PatMan33

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2021, 07:34:56 am »
Oh man we had a great one up at the club this past weekend.

So it was the evening rush and the bar was pretty packed along with some families out on the floor. There was a big hunt happening simultaneously so people from all over were in and out. Three younger guys were at the bar and they only recently turned 21. They went up to the bartender and asked her for three shots of red wine.

She looks right at them and yells "You ****ing faggots! Get a real drink!"

The whole place blew up in laughter and the other guys at the bar bought the kids some "real drinks" and it was a fun little moment. I was talking to the bartender the following morning at breakfast and she was saying "Holy **** I forgot it wasn't the 90s anymore! Glad nobody was too upset."

Thankfully it is a understanding and close-knit community. Not worth stirring up any trouble over at least. She probably went a little overboard, but then again it was also funny and the room thought so too. And those boys needed to be smacked down a peg anyway, they've been getting rowdy.

Was really refreshing to see. And I mean... shots of red wine? Come on now.

Offline Yokto

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2021, 04:47:40 am »
If I was the bartended I would actually have done the opposite. Assuming a stock red wine. And served them the wine properly. I mean shots of wine... That just ruining the wine experience. And I do not even really like red wine! (Works well with some foods however)
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Offline PatMan33

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Re: Gay faggotry and other gender issues
« Reply #14 on: May 10, 2021, 07:18:14 am »
Yeah I probably would have taken your route as well.

Wine hurts too much. I don't drink it anymore unless I am at my Dad's.