Author Topic: It's a beautiful apocalpye!  (Read 4506 times)

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Offline Detoxicated

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It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« on: March 14, 2012, 07:17:20 am »
It's a lovely day on planet earth.
Somewhat too peaceful for your taste, for you are
"DISTURBIO" master of the end.
Your job is simple, you have to end humanities existance, by preference in December of this year, but only if you want the cash prize at the HQ, but let's worry about this later.
You are 2 cm tall, a slug and a beauty at that. In front of you is a little form you need to fill in, which you start to be doing.

Name: Disturbio
Title: Master of the End
Sex:
Requested tools (only pick one): Evolutionary Device, Magical Shenanigans by Prof. Alvus Dumbawhore, Political Knowledge and Mindcontrol by Douchebag McScheme, Zombie Plague v. 1.0
Why did you apply for this Job in the first place:

Oh mumbling scrotum, you don't remember why you applied for the job of destroying the Human race, and also you don't know your sex and what tool of destruction you might wanna use, luckily you will remember by a later blink of moment.


OK, both of you die and let us know what happens.

Offline Cyst

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2012, 11:47:38 am »
Evolutionary device, female.
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Offline Slinky

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2012, 01:20:11 pm »
For vengeance. Vengeance!

Offline Detoxicated

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2012, 02:31:39 pm »
So you had a little interference a long time ago, when the humans stepped on you repeatadly while you were probing the grass of this blue planet. No, you never liked those filthy war-mongering humans, and this is why you always wanted revenge. Since you yourself are small and sluggish, you demand justice by getting the infamous evolutionary device.

Zoom! Bang! Vroom!
A second later, after you filled out the form, your uterus starts to glow, oh what a juicy feeling. Also you become very hungry all of a sudden, and you see a wide variety of beasts within your reach. There you go, you caught yourself a yummy fly, and now your hunger is gone. Suddenly your back is starting to hurt, and your skin is changing too, oh my you're growing legs, six legs to be exact. The vision has changed you have a view in 360, nice. So now we are a slug with chitinous skin and seix legs, that can fly. I wonder what we should do next.
OK, both of you die and let us know what happens.

Offline Cyst

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2012, 02:38:06 pm »
Go and find a small cat to absorb, then a small dog, then an average dog, then a big dog, then a wolf, then a cougar, then a bear, then a bigger bear, then a WALRUS. Walrus is ultimate goal.
DEATH TO DAESH! In solidarity with Rojava!
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Offline Detoxicated

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2012, 09:45:21 am »
As you fly about the patch of green you realize what powers you hold now, absorption of animals is quite a deed indeed. You realize, in a windless situation, that you have to absorb more beasts of nature to increase your power. Perhaps you shall look over the animals around this garden. As you fly on and on you realize that your size, in comparison to mosts beasts in this piece of lands, is rather small.
"Bollocks" you proclaim, as you step onto a grassy stick on the floor. "I need some ability to get this litter spraying beast chasing the mouse over there. It sure is a mighty warrior, the cat, oh yes."

Suddenly you feel a mighty hatred, "I must become stronger, humans are evil and stinky, they must be eradicated." You growl at a small bird upon you, he is only slighty bigger than you and has not yet seen you. You consider your options, as absorption of this little fella will get you closer to absorb the cat. You realize, you could straigthforwardly charge the bird, but this leaves you to the risk of either getting eaten yourself, or that the bird decides to fly away at the sight of you. So another option would be the sneaky, "Creeping-up-behind-him" technique, which could result in success but there is a risk of being to slow. So your last option would be, to use trickery and lurement. This would involve watching the bird to find out what it eats and needs, then you would lay a trap of food, and then you would strike frome behind. This option would take the longest, but it has the highest probability of working, as it is a complicated plan of research and striking.
So what shall it be:
A: Charge straightforwardly
B: "Creeping-Up-Behind-Him" Technique
C: Research and Striking
D: You quickly come up with a new plan yourself
E: You chose a smaller target which is easier to absorb but yields less advantages.
OK, both of you die and let us know what happens.

Offline Cyst

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2012, 12:50:09 pm »
C of course.
DEATH TO DAESH! In solidarity with Rojava!
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Offline Detoxicated

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2012, 05:52:45 am »
Your multi faceted eyes facilitate your awesome little plan. Yes, you are indeed the best being on this rotten planet, you loathe the day you signed up for this mission as this smelly planet makes you sick every second you breathe in it's air. You DO hate the humans though, they are an afront to all sapients in the universe, and therefore need to be dealt with quickly.

So the little birdy is still there, and you watch him from a safe distance. He apparantly likes seeds and small insects, but seems to be rather stupid. So you lay out your plan. You gather some juicy looking seeds, which you carry to a location, and to top it off you found some berries too. They do add nice coloration to your trap so you enjoy it more. A little wait later, really it seems eternal to you, the bird begins to fly closer to your trap. Ah yes, you forgot how exciting a trapping can be. And there he is, birdy is picking, not being watchful as he should be. You crawl up behind him, and...

You hardly ever tasted anything as juicy yet feathery. Beautiful. As the remains of your meal lay in front of you, an excrutiating pain strikes your skin.
"Argh" you proclaim "What is this nonsense?" But quickly you find out what it is, there is feathers sprouting from your body, and they envelop you too. To add to this madness, your snout becomes harder and more pointed than ever before. You did not realize that you hated beaks so much up to the point where you acquired one, but these are the hardships you must accomplish to gain the ability to destroy the humans.

Suddenly you hear a voice whispering into your head.
"So we at the Bureau of Planetary Apocalypses are watching your gains closely, and are so far satisfied with your performance, which therefore grants you an Upgrade to Stage Two. Yes now you will be able to control your own personal evolutions more precisely than ever, and you will be able to produce offspring. Also you will be able to spend energy and matter to develop some unusual therefore costy abilities unfound on planet earth. Use your ressources wisely. As an addition you will get a bonus of 20 EVOS. This juicy little currency will be used to further your agenda."

And there you are now, you even get a HUD now. Nice!
Name: Disturbio
Sex: Female
Rank: Evolutionary Dishwasher
Mission: Destruction of Humanity
EVOS: 20
Possible Evolutions: Telepathy (200 Evos), Poison Dust (200 Evos) more to unlock later
Other Abilities: Lay Egg (10 Evos)
Threat to Mankind: 1/100
Visibility to Mankind: 0/10

So you now are still in your little patch of green, slightly bigger than before. What shall it be for you, do you want to spend your evos accordingly or are you looking to hunt. Each absorption shall result in an output of Evos, a possibility of growth, or acquisitions of new physical traits and ability. Choose wisely!

OOC: If you decide to hunt, specify in your post if you wish to get a maximized EVO output with no growth and ability acquisition, or if you rather gain size and ability. Choose wisely, the fledgling phase is over, and wrong decisions can make your life harder and more dangerous.
OK, both of you die and let us know what happens.

Offline Cyst

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2012, 12:52:37 pm »
Lay a clutch of eggs in a crawlspace, then go hunting smaller, weaker creatures to grind EVOS
DEATH TO DAESH! In solidarity with Rojava!
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Offline Detoxicated

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2012, 06:38:18 pm »
As you interact with your inner eye HUD, you decide to lay some eggs. You feel some energy flowing to your lower body, and suddenly your belly grows bigger in a rapid tempo. You produce four eggs, that immediately hatch, into smaller versions of you. Your offspring and you decide to hunt for the rest of the day, going for small minor insects, as their EVO output is fair. You manage to gain 24 evos, and now you feel very tired, so you should think about where to sleep. By posting it specifically you can make a rule to autosleep on the same location.
OK, both of you die and let us know what happens.

Offline Cyst

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2012, 06:59:42 pm »
Find a hole under the building, rest there and do so whenever rest is required.
DEATH TO DAESH! In solidarity with Rojava!
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Offline Slinky

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2012, 01:39:11 pm »
Make sure not to evolve sexual reproduction as this hinders your ability to reproduce quickly as you must gestate, etc.

Offline Detoxicated

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2012, 05:32:07 pm »
You call together your troops and you scan the area underneath, for buildings and such. You appear to have found a bungalow, under which you crawl. It is wet and it smells of fungi, a nice place to start a menace for humanity don't you think?

On the next morning you decide to make a little scouting of the area, as you have established a base, and gathered some minions around you. You fly through the area. It appears that this is one of those recreational places of the human race, I believe they call them parks. You envision that there is quite the many different species to be seen here. So you begin to make a list of acquirable animals for you to feast on, and possible apsorptions to come. Even though you still know, the cat will most certainly be the prime of this patch of grass. After meeting with your minions, and exchanging information you gathered the following:
Species attainable:
Small Insects - Many/Low EVO-Yield
There is rats, moles, rabbits, squirrels, mice, and several small birds you could most likely overcome with cunning and strategy, some of them yield exclusive abilities, as Chippy, your firstborn son observes. Obviously there is bigger birds, as the falcon and the hawk, as well as the dog and the cat. Lunatica, your rebellious daughter slug, said there even was a monkey, but she is ugly so you don't believe her. Of course there is many humans walking about, but Smartsy, your second son observes that it would be suicidal to approach the humans just now. He also says that it would be possible to create a smaller kind of offspring, which would make plant's nectar available for EVO output. These worker drones would be ultimately defenseless, but they would be able to bring you a constant flow of evo.

Name: Disturbio
Sex: Female
Rank: Evolutionary Dishwasher
Mission: Destruction of Humanity
EVOS: 24
Possible Evolutions: Telepathy (200 Evos), Poison Dust (200 Evos), Worker Drones (100 Evos) more to unlock later
Other Abilities: Lay Egg (10 Evos)
Threat to Mankind: 1/100
Visibility to Mankind: 0/10
OK, both of you die and let us know what happens.

Offline Cyst

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2012, 05:58:14 pm »
Gather maximum EVO, via mice and squirrels, until we reach 100, then produce Drones.
DEATH TO DAESH! In solidarity with Rojava!
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Oh come now, Lurk.

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Offline Detoxicated

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Re: It's a beautiful apocalpye!
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2012, 06:46:04 pm »
You order your minions to hunt for insects to gather more EVOS, as you yourself are hunting as well. You get to know the park quite a bit as you fly on, and your mental map becomes more accurate by the second. You remember where the bees are living, and also you have found a small bush inhabbitted by a rampaging raccoon, which lives off of trash. What a peculiar beast, you notice, as you quite like the ability to live on waste, as well as the appearance of a cat burglar. You consider if the raccoon stood a chance against a cat, and are unsure. (MAYBE YOU HAVE AN ANSWER TO THAT)

As you fly about the lands, you observe one of your minions being slaughtered by a human foot. The disgusting man stepped on your kid Lunatica, and you get angry, as you never had the chance to beat the ugly out of her. Now you hate humans even more, and are apt to bend on their destruction.

At 3.00 p.m. you gather with your minions, and find out that you have a yield of 33 evos. Silencia, the one child who hasn't spoken up nods pleasured at this turn of events, and suggests to create more offspring to have a quicker gathering rate. You ponder about this, as your original plan was to gather enough EVOS to be able to breed drones. To enhance your ascenscion you could possibly start a collective maim on a bigger threat than mere insects. A rat or a squirrel could give you a head start of evos, but there is the risk of losing one or two of your team.
OK, both of you die and let us know what happens.